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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are committing more health code violations than a person could possibly keep track of with the 2005 film from Rob McKittrick, Waiting…

If this film isn’t enough to make you swear off ever eating food at a restaurant again, then I don’t know what will. It definitely made my feel extra queasy, enough to take that vow.

Yes, I’m saying a vow of starvation is miles better than eating food with pubic hair in it. There are just some things that should never be done to another human being and that’s one of them.

Add to the list: intentionally dropping food on the floor, sprinkling crunchy dandruff on it, and rubbing it all on your junk. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people? Restaurant waitstaff may not be the most glamorous occupation and the customers can be the scum of the earth, but some things go too far.

What doesn’t go far enough, apparently? Showing your bits to the other guys at the restaurant and kicking them in the butt for unintentionally looking. These people are true degenerates.

(Recorded on March 18, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Waiting… - IMDb

Waiting… trailer - YouTube

Rob McKittrick - IMDb

Ryan Reynolds - IMDb

Anna Faris - IMDb

John Francis Daley - IMDb

Justin Long - IMDb

David Koechner - IMDb

Luis Guzmán - IMDb

Chi McBride - IMDb

Alanna Ubach - IMDb

Vanessa Lengies - IMDb

Rob Benedict - IMDb

American Pie (1999) - IMDb

Doritos Cheesy Gordita Crunch Nacho Cheese - Taco Bell

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) - IMDb

Sharknado (TV Movie 2013) - IMDb

The VelociPastor (2018) - IMDb

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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are slapping old, white racists in the face because they deserve nothing less with the 1967 film from Norman Jewison, In the Heat of the Night.

Let’s get this out of the way first. Racism is bad and racists are terribly under-educated, fearful people who could use a good dose of empathy and love in their lives. Sure, there’s nothing groundbreaking there, but it needs to be said, sadly. Many things have gotten better since the ‘60s, but there’s still a lot to be done.

This is a cracking good mystery, with a wrinkle for the ages. The small town of Sparta, Mississippi just lost one of its greatest future benefactors: the wealthy and industrious Philip Colbert. In an act of senseless violence, he’s left dead in the middle of an alleyway, stripped of all his money.

Detective Virgil Tibbs, who happens to be passing through at the time of the murder, is found in the train station and picked up for the crime of being black in the wrong place and at the wrong time. Good thing he’s an educated police officer. I shudder to think what would have happened to him were he anyone else.

His expertise helps bring new and powerful information about this murder to light. The local police chief, Bill Gillespie, in an unusually progressive fashion, comes to respect Tibbs. The pair work the case, which has more twists and turns than anyone could have guessed.

Maybe the institutional racism of the town isn’t broken down, but I’d bet you that Gillespie becomes a marginally better person. Small victories are still victories, right?

(Recorded on March 11, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

In the Heat of the Night - IMDb

In the Heat of the Night trailer - YouTube

Norman Jewison - IMDb

Sidney Poitier - IMDb

Rod Steiger - IMDb

Warren Oates - IMDb

Lee Grant - IMDb

Larry Gates - IMDb

The Matrix Reloaded (2003) - IMDb

Castle (TV Series 2009–2016) - IMDb

Dexter (TV Series 2006–2013) - IMDb

Crash (2004) - IMDb

Sidney Poitier Dead: ‘In the Heat of the Night’ Star Dies at 94 - The Hollywood Reporter

They Call Me Mister Tibbs! (1970) - IMDb

The Organization (1971) - IMDb

Jaws 2 (1978) - IMDb

Roy Scheider - IMDb

Angela Lansbury - IMDb

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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are on the hunt for a mysterious hidden treasure and shooting at loads of people along the way with the 2008 film from Kim Jee-woon, The Good, the Bad, the Weird.

Perhaps this film won’t be anything that breaks any new storytelling ground—it is a new version of the classic The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly by Sergio Leone. Given the history of spaghetti westerns liberally borrowing from other films, that one was also probably a retread of other things, too.

There’s nothing original anymore; all the stories have been told. What matters now is telling familiar stories in fresh ways.

Friend, this one tells a familiar story in the freshest way imaginable. It’s a rollicking buddy-chase-shootout-caper western and that’s a fantastic combination of genres. Stick all those ingredients together and you’ve got a hell of a crazy stew going.

What’s great about this one is its ability to surprise. You may be familiar with this story, but it’s still not going to be what you expect. There’s plenty of heavy emotion and blistering action. It’s a truly stellar film from South Korea.

(Recorded on March 11, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

The Good, the Bad, the Weird - IMDb

The Good, the Bad, the Weird trailer - YouTube

Jee-woon Kim - IMDb

Kang-ho Song - IMDb

Lee Byung-hun - IMDb

Jung Woo-sung - IMDb

Seung-su Ryu - IMDb

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) - IMDb

Sergio Leone - IMDb

Eli Wallach - IMDb

Chris O’Donnell - IMDb

The Bachelor (1999) - IMDb

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007) - IMDb

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) - IMDb

Javier Bardem - IMDb

Mad Love (1995) - IMDb

Batman & Robin (1997) - IMDb

Oldboy (2003) - IMDb

Parasite (2019) - IMDb

Jackie Chan - IMDb

Incendies (2010) - IMDb

The Matrix (1999) - IMDb

How Stunt Horses are Trained to Fall in the Movies - Horse Illustrated

(Of course there’s a Horse Illustrated. I both do and don’t (but mostly don’t) want to see that swimsuit issue.)

The Princess Bride (1987) - IMDb

The Magnificent Seven (2016) - IMDb

The Magnificent Seven (1960) - IMDb

The Proposition (2005) - IMDb

Michael Keaton - IMDb

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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are just blowing crap up in the 1995 film from Michael Bay, Bad Boys.

I’m curious, is this another one of those mix-‘em-ups that could be solved by sitting down and having a clear and calm conversation with all parties involved? Not with the vaguely European bad guys. Those punks aren’t going to listen to anybody. They’re all about the drug money.

But the situation with Mike, Marcus, and Julie—couldn’t everything be cleared up by brewing some coffee, taking it easy for a bit, and explaining that Mike and Marcus are the opposite of who she thinks they are? Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, right?

Or is that just me being a grump? Maybe I’ve seen too many films that are full of dumb people who need to learn how to communicate a heck of a lot better?

Whatever the case may be, none of it actually matters. This is a Michael Bay film, dear friends. The only thing that does matter is his pathological, fetishistic need to see shit blow up! BANG! POW! BLAM! Michael Bay needs those KABOOMS! and he needs them now!

(Recorded on March 04, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Bad Boys - IMDb

Bad Boys trailer - YouTube

Michael Bay - IMDb

Will Smith - IMDb

Martin Lawrence - IMDb

Téa Leoni - IMDb

Tchéky Karyo - IMDb

Joe Pantoliano - IMDb

Bad Boys II (2003) - IMDb

Bad Boys for Life (2020) - IMDb

Meet Joe Black (1998) - IMDb

Brad Pitt - IMDb

6 Underground (2019) - IMDb

Transformers (2007) - IMDb

Sharknado (TV Movie 2013) - IMDb

Beast Wars: Transformers (TV Series 1996–1999) - IMDb

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (TV Series 1995–1999) - IMDb

Xena: Warrior Princess (TV Series 1995–2001) - IMDb

Kevin Sorbo - IMDb

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (TV Series 1993–1996) - IMDb

Bumblebee (2018) - IMDb

Hailee Steinfeld - IMDb

True Grit (2010) - IMDb

Pitch Perfect 3 (2017) - IMDb

Hawkeye (TV Mini Series 2021) - IMDb

Seinfeld (TV Series 1989–1998) - IMDb

Herbie Fully Loaded (2005) - IMDb

Megan Fox - IMDb

Heat (1995) - IMDb

Joe Pesci - IMDb

Lethal Weapon 3 (1992) - IMDb

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) - IMDb<

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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are doing everything we can to not become hanging sacks of cotton candy goo in the Stephen Chiodo film from 1988, Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

If you can give us any illuminating information about why the heck these clowns, sorry, klowns landed on Earth, systematically hunted down humans, and were a general nuisance, I would be grateful. The film sure as hell didn’t answer those questions!

Was it just for the sweet, sweet human goo that we become when we’re trapped in one of their sick human farming pods? Is their motivation just to get out their craziest of crazy straws and slurp us on down? Are we nothing but food to them? Is this film actually a commentary on the exploitation of factory farming here in real life?

These answers may forever elude us. I like to think these sick bastards did all those heinous acts because the screenwriters had no idea what they were doing. Tell me I’m wrong—they came up with a catchy title and then had to try stuffing a feature-length production into an idea the size of what should have been an extended short film.

Whatever the case may be, we watched this B-movie, so that means we also need to rate it. Will this one earn itself a blunder, a flunder, or the increasingly rare brilliant?

(Recorded on February 11, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Killer Klowns from Outer Space - IMDb

Killer Klowns from Outer Space trailer - YouTube

Stephen Chiodo - IMDb

Grant Cramer - IMDb

Suzanne Snyder - IMDb

John Allen Nelson - IMDb

John Vernon - IMDb

Michael S. Siegel - IMDb

Peter Licassi - IMDb

Jurassic World Dominion (2022) - IMDb

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) - IMDb

Ghostface (identity) - Wikipedia

Freddy Krueger - Wikipedia

Untraceable (2008) - IMDb

Colin Hanks - IMDb

Breaking Bad (TV Series 2008–2013) - IMDb

Volcano (1997) - IMDb

Tommy Lee Jones - IMDb

Dante’s Peak (1997) - IMDb

Final Destination (2000) - IMDb

Final Destination 2 (2003) - IMDb

Drew Barrymore - IMDb

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) - IMDb

Sean Bean - IMDb

The Wizard of Oz (1939) - IMDb

Ghostbusters II (1989) - IMDb

Scream (1996) - IMDb

Scary Movie (2000) - IMDb

Sharknado (TV Mo

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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are running for our freaking lives in the 1979 film from Ridley Scott, Alien.

Can we all assume that the evil corporation that dooms these poor cargo transporters is clearly Amazon or Facebook (sorry, Meta)? At least in this film, the corporation isn’t explicitly revealed, just that the crew communicates with a computer called “Mother.” So what else could it be?

What other company devalues human life to this extent? Also, there are robots all over the place, and you can’t convince me that Zuckerberg isn’t one.

It’s a shame that the poor crew of the Nostromo is being used as fodder to get this murderous creature back to the corporation. They’re merely sacrifices for weapon advancement. Human beings seen as nothing but cattle!

And to what end? There’s no controlling this titular creature. Does the corporation think they’re going to give it some small treats and train it into submission like a little puppy? Nah, man, everyone’s going to die! To borrow a phrase from the sequel, “Game over, man!”

That’s a lot, I know. I’m still just bummed about John Hurt. He didn’t have to go out that way.

(Recorded on March 04, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Alien - IMDb

Alien trailer - YouTube

Ridley Scott - IMDb

Sigourney Weaver - IMDb

Tom Skerritt - IMDb

John Hurt - IMDb

Veronica Cartwright - IMDb

Harry Dean Stanton - IMDb

Ian Holm - IMDb

Yaphet Kotto - IMDb

Life (2017) - IMDb

Prometheus (2012) - IMDb

Halo (franchise) - Wikipedia

Alien: Resurrection (1997) - IMDb

Amélie (2001) - IMDb

Jean-Pierre Jeunet - IMDb

Alien 3 (1992) - IMDb

David Fincher - IMDb

Sharknado (TV Movie 2013) - IMDb

Sharknado | More Movies Please! - libsyn

Alien vs. Predator (2004) - IMDb

Fear the Walking Dead (TV Series 2015– ) - IMDb

Paranormal Activity (2007) - IMDb

The Blair Witch Project (1999) - IMDb

Scream (1996) - IMDb

The Exorcist (1973) - IMDb

Oculus (2013) - IMDb

Karen Gillan - IMDb

A Serbian Film (2010) - IMDb

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) - IMDb

The Conjuring (2013) - IMDb

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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are receiving otherworldly transmissions and venturing out into the farthest reaches of space in the 1997 film from Robert Zemeckis, Contact.

This film does many things well, but the best thing it does is inspire deep thought and conversation. It demands that you consider the world outside of your microcosm. It asks you what it would be like if there was other life in the universe and what would that mean for humanity.

To package those questions up in an admittedly lengthy film that features great drama, romance, and suspense is a master stroke. I guess the wonderful Carl Sagan and Zemeckis understood that you need spectacle to encourage people to consider substance.

So, what would you do if we received a credible transmission from a star system many lightyears away from Earth? Would it be something to celebrate, something to investigate, or something to destroy… inate?

At the very least, I think we can all agree that this film posits a spectacular premise. It encourages us to love each other and work together to move ourselves forward. That’s pretty dang noble.

(Recorded on February 18, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Contact - IMDb

Contact trailer - YouTube

Robert Zemeckis - IMDb

Jodie Foster - IMDb

Matthew McConaughey - IMDb

Tom Skerritt - IMDb

John Hurt - IMDb

William Fichtner - IMDb

Back to the Future (1985) - IMDb

Forrest Gump (1994) - IMDb

Life (2017) - IMDb

Men in Black (1997) - IMDb

Men in Black II (2002) - IMDb

Men in Black 3 (2012) - IMDb

Men in Black: International (2019) - IMDb

Stargate (1994) - IMDb

Alpha Centauri - Wikipedia

Spaceballs (1987) - IMDb

Spaceballs | More Movies Please! - Libsyn

Wormhole - Wikipedia

Carl Sagan - Wikipedia

The Good Place (TV Series 2016–2020) - IMDb

Jake Busey - IMDb

Ryan Reynolds - IMDb

Pensieve | Harry Potter Wiki - Fandom

Minority Report (2002) - IMDb

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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are floating around for the sake of our dang lives in the 2017 film from Daniel Espinosa, Life.

I’m going to make it my mission in, ahem, life to never find myself traveling into space. Outer space, inner space, it doesn’t matter. I don’t want any part of the universe outside of the atmosphere of Earth. No good can come of rejecting the gravity of this planet.

What, does that seem extreme to you? Should I have some sort of noble explorer’s spirit and want to venture out into the farthest reaches of the universe? Should I want to boldly go where no human has gone before? And for what, the betterment of humankind?

Did you even watch this film yet? I encourage you to do so if you haven’t. Pay particular attention to what happens to poor Ryan Reynolds, Sexiest Man Alive in 2010. Do you want your insides to become blenderized into a goo that you spew out before dying a sad, lonely death?

That’s probably guaranteed in space. If movies have taught us anything, and why else are we here on this podcast, it’s that space is full of murderous alien creatures who want to kill and/or eat our sexiest people (I’ll include myself in that, because why not?). Save the sexiness by staying on Earth.

(Recorded on February 18, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Life - IMDb

Life trailer - YouTube

Daniel Espinosa - IMDb

Jake Gyllenhaal - IMDb

Rebecca Ferguson - IMDb

Ryan Reynolds - IMDb

Hiroyuki Sanada - IMDb

Olga Dykhovichnaya - IMDb

Ariyon Bakare

Green Lantern (2011) - IMDb

Gravity (2013) - IMDb

Sandra Bullock - IMDb

George Clooney - IMDb

Alien (1979) - IMDb

John Hurt - IMDb

Ridley Scott - IMDb

Alien: Covenant (2017) - IMDb

Re-Animator (1985) - IMDb

Armageddon (1998) - IMDb

Godzilla - Wikipedia

The Suicide Squad (2021) - IMDb

Harley Quinn - Wikipedia

Nathan Fillion - IMDb

Suicide Squad (2016) - IMDb

Buried (2010) - IMDb

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Give us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts!

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On the podcast this time, Steven and Sean are on a family quest to retrieve our lucky coin that was stolen by leprechauns. Yes, literal leprechauns. It’s the 2001 film by Paul Hoen, The Luck of the Irish.

Did anyone else have a middle school experience where your parents started shrinking, you started sucking at basketball out of the blue, your friends got on your case—and hard—about not knowing your heritage, and you were transported around the world to play classic Irish strength and endurance games, or was that just poor Kyle Johnson?

This guy has lived a sheltered and fortunate life until he makes the understandable mistake of attending his town’s Irish appreciation festival. It’s there that the lucky coin that’s passed down through his family is stolen straight off his neck by some step-dancing fools.

His life gets so hard, guys. Sooo hard! His mother starts shrinking, he meets his grandfather for the first time and that guy immediately starts growing a massive beard, and those previously mentioned fools put his family’s lives in danger! This is all done amid some pretty egregious anti-Irish joking, but hey, the early ‘00s weren’t the most progressive years.

Being a B-movie bonus episode, we finish off the episode by crowning this film with our most sacred of rankings. Is this one a blunder, a flunder, or the lucky brilliant? Listen on to find out!

(Recorded on February 7, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

The Luck of the Irish - IMDb

The Luck of the Irish trailer - YouTube

Paul Hoen - IMDb

Ryan Merriman - IMDb

Henry Gibson - IMDb

Alexis Lopez - IMDb

Marita Geraghty - IMDb

Paul Kiernan - IMDb

Timothy Omundson - IMDb

Wizards of Waverly Place (TV Series 2007–2012) - IMDb

iMac G3 - Wikipedia

Home Alone (1990) - IMDb

Joe Pesci - IMDb

Psych (TV Series 2006–2014) - IMDb

Monk (TV Series 2002–2009) - IMDb

Psycho Goreman (2020) - IMDb

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) - IMDb

Sharktopus (TV Movie 2010) - IMDb

Schitt’s Creek (TV Series 2015–2020) - IMDb

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - IMDb

Neil Breen - IMDb

This Land Is Your Land | Woody Guthrie - YouTube

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) - IMDb

Nikita (1990) - IMDb

Nikita | More Movies Please! - Libsyn

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On the podcast this time, Pirate Steven and Sean are dodging, ducking, dipping, diving, and dodging in the 2004 film from Rawson Marshall Thurber, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.

Don’t you just hate it when Ben Stiller gets all up in your business, threatening to ruin you financially and sticking his literally inflated crotch in your face? What a punk, am I right?

Okay, the man himself seems like a decent fellow, but his character, White Goodman, is about the farthest thing away from a good man. He’s a self-conscious jerk-face who thrives off the disappointment and misfortune of other people. He’d probably say something like, “Well, I made it because of my hard work. What’s your problemo, amigo?”

It’s a good thing that decent people exist in this world. Cue Peter La Fleur, owner and operator of Average Joe’s Gym. It’s a place where you can go to feel happy and welcome. While you’re there, be sure to pick up a game or two of dodgeball. Not only will you be engaging in the sport that saved the day, you’ll also be making the ghost of dear Patches O’Houlihan happy.

(Recorded on February 21, 2022)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story - IMDb

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story trailer - YouTube

Rawson Marshall Thurber - IMDb

Vince Vaughn - IMDb

Ben Stiller - IMDb

Christine Taylor - IMDb

Rip Torn - IMDb

Justin Long - IMDb

Stephen Root - IMDb

Joel David Moore - IMDb

Chris Williams - IMDb

Alan Tudyk - IMDb

Missi Pyle - IMDb

Jamal Duff - IMDb

Gary Cole - IMDb

Jason Bateman - IMDb

Hank Azaria - IMDb

Lance Armstrong - IMDb

Chuck Norris - IMDb

William Shatner - IMDb

Freedom fries - Wikipedia

Reebok Pump - Wikipedia

The Real Reason Ben Stiller And Christine Taylor Are Back Together - The List

Jerry Stiller - Wikipedia

Anne Meara - Wikipedia

The Luck of the Irish (TV Movie 2001) - IMDb

Luke Skywalker - Wikipedia

Phencyclidine - Wikipedia

The Karate Kid (1984) - IMDb

Forrest Gump (1994) - IMDb

Men in Black (1997) - IMDb

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