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On the podcast this week, Steven and Sean are enjoying a radical, ahead-of-its-time animated film from the ‘80s. It’s the film from a lot of different directors, Heavy Metal.

Okay, hold on. I can’t let that introductory paragraph slide. Sure, this one was probably noteworthy and captivating when it came out. It was experimental and still has a crazy amount of energy (even if the fight scenes are as slow as molasses). There’s a lot going on in here that probably blew the feeble minds of people alive in the early ‘80s. Especially if those minds belonged to young teenage boys. Now, though? Oh boy, is this a problematic film. 

Is it any worse than many ‘80s movies that seem more interested in opportunities to show off the bare breasts of its women characters? I mean, come on, there’s Porky’s and Caddyshack and Fast Times at Ridgemont High to consider here!

That’s the thing, though! As Bob Dylan said (in probably a far different context), “the times they are a-changin’.” Watching a film like Heavy Metal requires a certain understanding and patience, and I think it’s acceptable if you don’t want to give it your time. There’s a lot that’s troublesome with this one. Most notably, women appear to only exist as sex objects. Entire segments are dedicated to suggesting that the best they can ever achieve is to pleasure a man, or else they’ll be vaporized and forgotten.

Or they can dress in some ultra-skimpy number and fight alien dudes. Progress, I guess?

It’s got some entertaining moments, but there’s a clear reason why this one is a B-movie bonus episode. It ticks all the boxes:

• Is it pretty terrible? Check.
• Is it tone-deaf to a fault? Check.
• Is it unintentionally funny? Check.
• Does it have a peculiar fan base? Elon Musk loves it, so… check.
• Did we have a fun time ripping it apart? Check!

(Recorded on February 22, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Heavy Metal - IMDb

Heavy Metal trailer - YouTube

The Incredibles - IMDb

Jumanji - IMDb

SpaceX's Starman and Elon Musk's Tesla just made their 1st Mars flyby - Space

The Fifth Element - IMDb

Luc Besson - IMDb

Gary Oldman - IMDb

Wonder Woman (tv show) - IMDb

The Boys - IMDb

The Godfather - IMDb

Gone with the Wind - IMDb

A Low Down Dirty Shame - IMDb

A Low Down Dirty Shame | More Movies Please! - Libsyn

I'm Gonna Git You Sucka - IMDb

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On the podcast this week, Steven and Sean are learning what it means to be a true family, while also staving off an alien invasion in the film from Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders, 2002’s Lilo & Stitch.

If you even try to suggest that there’s a cuter being with more personality and destructive talents than Stitch somewhere out in the universe, then Steven might try to fight you. Seriously, dude’ll just straight up cut you.

And who could blame him? Sean would back him up. I mean, have you even seen Stitch? Have you even seen this movie? If not, then you really should. It’ll make this episode more enjoyable. Give it a watch now; don’t worry, we’ll wait for you to come back. In the meantime, Sean’s totally agreeing with Steven. Stitch is the sort of out of control science experiment with an attitude that anyone can love.

Lilo definitely fell in love with him the very first moment she saw him. Sure, she thought he was an adorable puppy, but who can hold that against her? She’s a lonely child who needs a best friend! It’s the other people in her life that needed to understand just how good Stitch can be. Nani and Bubbles were the problem here, along with the Grand Councilwoman and Captain Gantu.

They needed to learn that ohana means family, damn it! And family means no one gets left behind!

Hey, we get there, though. That’s the magic of this film. By the end of it, you’ll be rooting for Lilo and Stitch. You’ll want everyone to have a happy life together. You’ll want to see more of the lush and gorgeous artwork that this film is packed with. As we start wrapping up our current month of animated films, we couldn’t have picked a better one to watch and enjoy. This film is a delight, and enjoyable at any age.

(Recorded on March 08, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Lilo & Stitch - IMDb

Lilo & Stitch trailer - YouTube

Superman: The Animated Series - IMDb

Batman: The Animated Series - IMDb

Animaniacs - IMDb

Pinky and the Brain - IMDb

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers - IMDb

Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch - IMDb

Lilo & Stitch: The Series - IMDb

Leroy & Stitch - IMDb

Army of Darkness - IMDb

Stitch Fix

Agent Smith - Wikipedia

The Matrix - IMDb

The heartbreaking Pudge the Fish image Steven mentioned

Captain America: Civil War - IMDb

Walt Disney Animation Studios - Wikipedia

Saving Mr. Banks - IMDb

Stitch vs. Batman

Spider-Man - IMDb

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On the podcast this week, Steven and Sean are trying to make a postal delivery from the late, great Vincent van Gogh, but end up getting caught up with solving quite the mystery with the 2017 film from Dorota Kobiela and Hugh Welchman, Loving Vincent.

Man, we feel wiped out just watching this film. How impossibly exhausting must it have been to create all the thousands upon thousands of hand-painted oil works that make up this astonishing thing? I mean, sure, the artists who worked on this one must have enjoyed doing the work. It’s not like they were forced to paint an entire film at gunpoint.

At least, I hope that’s not what happened. Those poor artists, if that was the case. But it probably wasn’t. Maybe.

Technical stuff aside for a moment, this film is a clever way to introduce people to the life and story of now-über renowned artist Vincent van Gogh. In his time, though, he was hardly known, save for a small handful of people who were either delighted by his eccentric personality or disgusted by it. He painted so much beauty, but never sold any of it. He lived a tragic, painful life that ended all too abruptly. It’s a shame that’s how things ended for him given how appreciated he became.

We get to experience all this through the eyes and travels of one Armand Roulin, whose father, Joseph Roulin, was Vincent’s postman and friend. Joseph tasks Armand with delivering one final letter to Vincent’s brother, Theo. While trying to find Theo, Armand meets an assortment of unique people who knew Vincent, whom all tell stories about his life. Through these interactions we learn more about the person Vincent was, and not just the legend he became.

It’s a lovely, melancholy story told in such a unique fashion: the entire damn film is done in oil paint! Every single second. Every single frame! It’s all a living, moving work of painted art. It really is phenomenal, and is something that everyone should experience. We tend to think of animated films as something that’s drawn with a pencil or molded with a computer, but this one is crafted by a brush.

It’s special, engaging, and worth your time.

(Recorded on March 01, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Loving Vincent - IMDb

Loving Vincent trailer - YouTube

Vincent van Gogh - Wikipedia

Complete Timey Wimey Don't Blink Speech | Doctor Who - YouTube

Scrooged - IMDb

Tommy Boy - IMDb

Avatar - IMDb

Avengers: Endgame - IMDb

James Cameron - IMDb

Halo (franchise) - Wikipedia

Who Framed Roger Rabbit - IMDb

Studio Ghibli - Wikipedia

My Neighbor Totoro - IMDb

Josh Brolin - IMDb

The IT Crowd - IMDb

Chris O'Dowd - IMDb

Saoirse Ronan - IMDb

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On the podcast this week, Spider-Steven and Sean are embarking on our greatest adventure ever: learning how to become the best heroes we can possibly be for the people who need us the most. We’re doing it all with this week’s episode about the 2018 film from Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, and Rodney Rothman, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.

Damn, what a great film this is. Sorry, I gave away how we feel about this one way too early (and in the stinking show notes, too!). Look, if you don’t know that this film is one of the best things that’s been made in the last decade, then you either haven’t seen it yet or you’re stuck in an alternate universe where it doesn’t exist. In which case, I just feel sorry for you. You’re missing out on a great story.

Visuals aside for a second, the story is very affecting. As it always does, it boils down to what dear old Uncle Ben said:

“With great power, comes great responsibility.”

In every universe, nobody is asking to be a Spider-Person; it’s just forced on them, and they have to find a way to cope with their newfound powers. In the case of Miles Morales, not only does he have new spider powers to try and figure out, he’s also been tasked with saving several universes. If that’s not a lot of pressure, then I don’t know what is. That’s just a part of being Spider-Man, though. It takes responsibility, and it takes a leap of faith.

The visuals of this film, though? Top freaking notch. I haven’t seen anything like this in, well, ever. I think we’re going to look back on this one and realize that it did something unique: it was original. None of us would be surprised to hear that it pushed the art of animated films forward. It’s a spectacle film, with a hell of a lot of heart. That’s hard to come by these days.

Look, what this all comes down to is: you’ve got the power to see this film, so it’s your responsibility to see it. And at least a dozen times.

(Recorded on February 22, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

 Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - IMDb

 Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse trailer - YouTube

Steven’s Miles Morales shirt (probably?) - Redbubble

Monsters, Inc. - IMDb

How I Met Your Mother - IMDb

Gaming Cypher

Marvel's Spider-Man Remastered - PlayStation

Horizon Zero Dawn: Complete Edition - PlayStation

Spider-Man: The Animated Series - IMDb

Spider-Man 3 - IMDb

Peter Porker (Earth-8311) | Marvel Database - Fandom

Peter Parker (Earth-90214) | Marvel Database - Fandom

Suicide Squad - IMDb

Peni Parker (Earth-14512) | Marvel Database - Fandom

The Suicide Squad - IMDb

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On the podcast this week, Steven and Sean are leaving this rundown planet and blasting off into outer space to chase after our true robot loves with the Andrew Stanton film from 2008, WALL•E.

You know those evergreen films? Like, say, Casablanca, The Godfather, and The Shawshank Redemption. Well, I think it’s time to add a charming movie about a trash compacting robot who falls in love with an advanced bot from space to that list. This film is just as entertaining, meaningful, and downright excellent as anything that usually ends up on lists of “The Best Films Ever.”

Maybe you wouldn’t think that to look at it. I mean, it’s just a kid’s movie about an endearing little robot with human emotions, right?

To that I say, where’s the magic in your heart and eyes? What happened to extinguish your flame of wonder and joy? Who hurt you, friend? Sure, the world can be tough and cruel sometimes. That’s just the way things are, unfortunately. Is that a good enough reason to write off a work of great beauty and art like this film? It still holds up and is as delightful as it’s ever been.

Okay, if you still don’t believe me, then I ask you to do me a favor. This one’s just about a half hour long. 90 stinkin’ minutes. Head into Disney+ or whatever you’ve got, put this one on, and just have a good time. We certainly did. We had so much fun that I bet one of us watched the entire thing again shortly after we finished recording this episode.

(It may have been Steven. Sean’s got an out of control list of things he’s trying to watch and is drowning under the weight of available content. Send help!)

Leave it to Pixar to craft something so powerful, simple, and genuine. There’s hardly anyone out there who can do what they do, and do it so consistently. We live in a special time—we get to sit down whenever we want, pop on one of their films, and just have a good time. In this case, we get to fall in love, travel through space and the stars, and save humankind in the process.

WALL•E is a special little robot.

(Recorded on February 15, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

WALL•E - IMDb

WALL•E trailer - YouTube

Napoleon Dynamite - IMDb

11 crazy things you never knew about sumo wrestling - InsideJapan Blog

GameStop short squeeze - Wikipedia

Batmobiles | Batman Wiki - Fandom

Too Many Satellites in Orbit: How the Planet Will Look in 9 Years - ITIGIC

Spaceballs - IMDb

Wall•E Protect Your World Shirt - Lonelyshirt.com

WALL•E Animation Sound Design, part 1 - YouTube

Ben Burtt - IMDb

Vincent van Gogh - Getty Museum

Jurassic Park - IMDb

The Lost World: Jurassic Park - IMDb

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On the podcast this week, Steven and Sean are standing up to our oppressors and giving a well-deserved “screw you” to the Nazis in this episode about the 2019 film from Terrence Malick, A Hidden Life.

I think it’s safe to say that no one alive can make a film as beautiful as Terrence Malick can. Can we just get that out of the way at the beginning? If you’ve seen any of his work, and I hope you’ve at least seen this one, I think you’ll agree with me here.

Let’s look at a few of them:

• Badlands
• Days of Heaven
• The Thin Red Line
• The New World
• The Tree of Life

Those are all remarkable works of art. His eye is finely tuned toward the beautiful and the majestic. He can see in light and colors that few others can. Malick is an auteur of huge renown, and for good reason. His work captures emotions and life in a unique, organic way. We’re all lucky to be alive in a time when he’s making films.

And when this director turns his considerable attention toward the true story of Franz Jägerstätter, a conscientious objector in Austria during World War II, a man who (spoilers) died for his beliefs, you know it’s going to be meaningful, emotional, and gorgeous.

It’s also going to be a heavy one. It’s hard to say what any of us would do if we were in Franz’s place, but I think it’s safe to say that it’s damn tough to embody the courage and determination he did. That’s not even to mention the family he left behind because of his adherence to his morality. We all say we stand firm on our beliefs, but it’s another matter when your life is on the line because of them.

This film should be required viewing for all people. It shows how cold, cruel, futile, and pointless war (and Nazis) can be. It depicts a man, and his family, who fights against those who would execute someone who doesn’t want to kill others for a monster (Hitler, in this case). It gives us the gift of knowing about a real hero.

(Recorded on February 08, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

A Hidden Life - IMDb

A Hidden Life trailer - YouTube

Ted Lasso - IMDb

Terrence Malick - IMDb

The Tree of Life - IMDb

To the Wonder - IMDb

Days of Heaven - IMDb

The Thin Red Line - IMDb

Crispy Baked Teriyaki Tofu - Connoisseurus Veg

WALL·E - IMDb

Franz Jägerstätter - Wikipedia

Sankt Radegund - Wikipedia

St. Radegund - meinbezirk.at

(This website’s in German, but there are still some nice pictures throughout the page.)

Saving Private Ryan - IMDb

Gettysburg - IMDb

The Detention Camps at the Border Are a Crime - The Atlantic

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On the podcast this week, Steven and Sean are defending Earth from a marauding swarm of murderous space bugs! Or is it that we’re the real monsters and the space bugs just want to live their buggy lives, raise a horde of their own little insect babies, and maybe retire to Shlergen-5 one day if their retirement accounts perform well enough? Either way, this week, we’re talking about the Paul Verhoeven film from 1997, Starship Troopers.

Here’s what we’ve all got to look forward to in the future:

• Intergalactic wars between Earth and whatever the hell gets in our way.
• Mandatory co-ed shower time (yay?).
• Extremely effective, anti-bug propaganda.
• A return of Nazis who aren’t exactly the Nazis we’re usually familiar with.
• Soap opera-level drama between us, the ones we love, and the people who are actually right for us.

Weird, that list sounds all too familiar. Could it be the case that this film is actually a mirror being held up to our lives and society? Are we currently living in this Starship Troopers future world? Let’s see:

• Intergalactic bug wars? No space travel and no bugs, but there are loads of wars.
• Co-ed showers? Not yet, I guess.
• Effective propaganda? Check.
• A return of Nazis? Check, but they never really went away.
• Soap opera love? That’s always been a check.

Oh, boy. That’s a lot of checks.

Could it be the case that this film is actually a great satire aimed at humanity’s insistence on blowing up any opposition and certain countries’ fawning obsession with the military? Well, yeah. That’s the whole point of this film. Sure, there are loads of drama, butts and boobs, and grisly violence, but that’s just what’s on the surface.

To get to the real meat of the story, you need to dig about as deep down as the bugs do for their labyrinthine, underground homes. When you get there, the story opens up and becomes a lot more than just what’s on-screen. Not only is this one a great b-movie for us to share, it’s also a great indictment of humanity’s lust for conquest and blood. Take that, us!

(Recorded on January 25, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Starship Troopers - IMDb

Starship Troopers trailer - YouTube

Paul Verhoeven - IMDb

RoboCop - IMDb

The Lion King - IMDb

Aladdin - IMDb

The Evil Dead - IMDb

UNSC Starship | Halo Alpha - Fandom

Casper Van Dien - IMDb

German diaspora - Wikipedia

The Wizard of Oz - IMDb

The Price Is Right - IMDb

Schutzstaffel - Wikipedia

Pacific Rim - IMDb

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - IMDb

The Dark Knight - IMDb

Tropic Thunder - IMDb

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On the podcast this week, Steven and Sean are going on a thrilling, backwoods adventure with our new best friend and becoming the wrestlers we always dreamed we would be in the 2019 film from Tyler Nilson and Michael Schwartz, The Peanut Butter Falcon.

We could all learn a thing or two about how to be decent people from Zak. All he ever wants to do with his life is become a pro wrestler and be the best family he can be to the people for whom he cares. No backhanded nonsense. No lying. Nothing but enthusiasm, empathy, and love. If he’s not the ideal we should all strive for, then I don’t know who else is worth emulating.

“Swell” might not be a weighty enough word to describe him, but it’s certainly a nice and appropriate one. Zak is just so damn swell.

You know who else is swell? Tyler and Eleanor. Tyler because he wants Zak to live up to his full potential and Eleanor because she wants to protect him from harm. They’re both wonderful because, by the end, they don’t see Zak as someone with a disability, or even someone who’s less capable. They see him as a friend, and they give him the love he deserves.

That’s another thing we should all be so lucky to receive.

This is a movie that has a sweetness about it. Its sweetness is also likely to sneak up on you. There are moments of gripping danger, along with antagonists who ridicule Zak for thinking he’s somehow less than they are. There are moments where you’ll think all is lost. You may even shout at the screen or let loose a few tears (which we’d completely understand). By the end, though, you’ll feel that golden light of having just watched something exceptional.

This film cares. This film shows truth and love. Of course, this film also follows the number one rule: PARTY!

(Recorded on February 01, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

The Peanut Butter Falcon - IMDb

The Peanut Butter Falcon trailer - YouTube

Shia LaBeouf - IMDb

Dakota Johnson - IMDb

Zack Gottsagen - IMDb

Starship Troopers - IMDb

Short Term 12 - IMDb

Brie Larson - IMDb

Rami Malek - IMDb

FKA twigs Sues Shia LaBeouf, Citing Abusive Relationship - The New York Times

Shia LaBeouf opens up about his mother’s rape, says he has PTSD - USA Today

Sexual abuse in the American film industry - Wikipedia

Lawless - IMDb

Lawless | More Movies Please! - Libsyn

FKA twigs

Shia LaBeouf arrested on public drunkenness charge - CNN

Jake Roberts - IMDb

Mick Foley - IMDb

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On the podcast this week, Werewolf Steven and Count Sean are enjoying our blood drinking, werewolf fighting, Stu loving afterlives in the 2014 film from Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, What We Do In the Shadows.

[Editor’s note: this is not the FX tv show, but that one’s also amazing. Watch it the moment after you finish listening to this episode if you haven’t seen it. If you have seen it, then watch it again. Thanks!]

These aren’t your granddaddy’s vampires. They aren’t your aunt-who-loves-sexy-vampires-a-little-too-much’s vampires, either. These vampires are funny, and have a wide variety of personal interests. They’re the sort of vampires we wouldn’t mind hanging out with any day of the week. Except for maybe during feeding time.

Look, they can be friendly and deceptively deep, but they’ll still chomp into your neck and drain you until you’re dry and dead. That’s a no-go for us.

On the other hand, if you’re nice to them, and maybe teach them how to use the internet, then they’ll end up being your best friends. Who doesn’t want that? You can hang out in all the coolest Auckland vampire nightclubs, get in near-scrapes with local werewolf packs, and witness excellent bat fights.

We’re eternally grateful that the true reality of these wonderful creatures has finally been captured on film. Sure, there are those terrifying, Dracula-like vamps out there that only want to wreak as much havoc as possible during their long lives. However, we’ve now got some indisputable proof that not all vampires are bad. Sometimes they just want to be understood. They want to be seen for the complex creatures they are. They even want to find love out in this crazy, cruel world.

The documentary crew that captured this clearly real brood of vampires did humanity a huge favor. Wait, not brood. This family of vampires. May we all one day find the same love and acceptance they give to those for whom they care. Life wouldn’t get any better than that.

(Recorded on January 25, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

What We Do In the Shadows - IMDb

What We Do In the Shadows trailer - YouTube

Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles - IMDb

The Lost Boys - IMDb

Blade - IMDb

Twilight - IMDb

Rubber - IMDb

Vampires and Silver - Gods and Monsters

Let the Right One In - IMDb

Let Me In - IMDb

Nosferatu - IMDb

Vampyr - IMDb

Dracula - Wikipedia

Bram Stoker's Dracula - IMDb

Keanu Reeves - IMDb

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - IMDb

Gary Oldman - IMDb

Léon: The Professional - IMDb

What We Do in the Shadows (tv show) - IMDb

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On the podcast this week, Steven and Sean are teaching our young protégé the fine art of contract killing in the 1994 film from Luc Besson, Leon: The Professional.

If I ever meet Gary Oldman, I don’t know if I’ll be frightened, starstruck, or some combination of the two. He’s an amazing actor and steals the spotlight every time he’s onscreen in this one. He also plays a murderous psychopath who also happens to work for the police. Dude is intense. Gary—I’m going to call him just Gary—is probably a sweet man who wouldn’t hurt a fly in real life, though.

Still, he can tap into something raging and dark. The man knows how to be intimidating.

On the flip side, you’ve got Jean Reno and Natalie Portman playing equally dangerous characters. Yet, I don’t feel nearly as intimidated by them. Their characters mean well, so long as you don’t cross them. I bet they’re probably pretty swell in real life, too.

These wonderful actors come together to make one hell of a film. This one can rightly be called a classic. It’s a paragon of action filmmaking that continues to influence films made even now. That’s a tough feat to accomplish.

Reno plays Leon, a killer-for-hire. Portman plays Mathilda, a young girl whose family (most importantly her younger brother) is murdered by Stansfield, played by Oldman. Leon saves Mathilda’s life, but she wants revenge. He teaches her how he fulfills his contracts. Things get, shall we say, dicey when Stansfield figures out who’s after him.

Yes, this film is problematic. We’ll be among the first to say it. The relationship between Mathilda and Leon is creepy at best. Does anything extremely untoward happen onscreen? No, but that doesn’t change the fact that the film depicts a twelve-year-old falling in sexually charged, pre-teen love with the man who’s teaching her how to murder people. This aspect of the film has not aged well.

It’s also still a good action film. If for no other reason, watch it for Oldman and all the explosions.

(Recorded on January 18, 2021)

Links to Stuff We Mentioned:

Leon: The Professional - IMDb

Leon: The Professional trailer - YouTube

Jean Reno - IMDb

Ronin - IMDb

Mission: Impossible - IMDb

Dick Grayson | Batman Wiki - Fandom

Godzilla - IMDb

Baba Yaga - Wikipedia

John Wick - IMDb

Natalie Portman - IMDb

Killing Them Softly - IMDb

batinthesun - YouTube

(This is the channel that does all the Super Power Beat Down videos that Steven referenced.)

Gary Oldman - IMDb

The Fifth Element - IMDb

Bram Stoker's Dracula - IMDb

Heath Ledger - IMDb

Michael Badalucco - IMDb

Pretty Woman - IMDb

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