More Than Sex and Secrets

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to want sex all the time while others rarely feel sexual desire? What happens when partners have different sexual needs, preferences, or expectations? And when does a difference in desire become something worth exploring?

This week on More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua welcomes Keri Green, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, for an open conversation about hypo- and hypersexuality, sexual preferences, desire, and the complexities of intimacy.

With more than 20 years of clinical experience, Keri works with individuals and couples exploring sexuality, communication, trauma, sexual concerns, and relationship challenges. Together, we explore the importance of understanding our own sexual experiences, respecting differences, and creating space for honest conversations about what feels safe, pleasurable, and fulfilling.

Sexual desire isn't the same for everyone. Having a higher or lower sex drive doesn't automatically mean something is wrong with you or your relationship. Understanding your needs, communicating your preferences, and recognizing when sexual behaviors create distress are important parts of developing a healthier relationship with sexuality.

We also reference Sex with Emily, hosted by Dr. Emily Morse, and her book Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure, as additional resources for exploring sexual communication and pleasure.

Whether you're navigating mismatched libidos, questioning your relationship with sex, or interested in understanding human sexuality without judgment, this episode invites you to explore desire with greater curiosity, compassion, and self-awareness.

Connect with our guest:

Keri Green, LMFT, CST

Website: https://kerigreenlmft.com/

Resources mentioned:

Sex with Emily, with Dr. Emily Morse: https://sexwithemily.com/

If this conversation helps you understand yourself or your partner differently, share this episode with someone who would appreciate an honest conversation about sex, desire, and intimacy.

Follow More Than Sex and Secrets for more conversations about relationships, sexuality, healing, identity, and personal growth.

Ready to Reclaim Your Intimacy?

If past experiences, sexual trauma, shame, relationship difficulties, or a loss of connection with your body have affected your intimate life, explore Dr. Lisha Antiqua's Reclaim Intimacy private coaching program.

Reclaim Intimacy focuses on rebuilding your relationship with yourself, strengthening self-trust, understanding your needs and boundaries, and reconnecting with intimacy on your terms.

Explore Reclaim Intimacy:
https://lishaantiqua.com/ri-enrollment

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More Than Sex and Secrets brings honest conversations about sexuality, relationships, trauma, identity, healing, and personal growth into the open.

If you value these conversations, support the show by buying Dr. Lisha a coffee, sharing an episode, or following the podcast.

Support the host and explore additional resources:
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Follow More Than Sex and Secrets on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or your favorite listening platform. Sharing an episode helps more people find conversations about sexuality, self-understanding, and healthier relationships.

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What if the person you trusted never gave you the truth you needed to make an informed decision about your own body, relationship, or sexual intimacy?

Is withholding the truth a form of lying? Is hiding multiple sexual partners a betrayal of consent? And when someone deliberately omits information, deflects questions, or allows you to believe a false version of your relationship, how much of your consent was truly informed?

This week on More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua explores the painful reality of lies by omission, half-truths, infidelity, sexual deception, betrayal trauma, and the relationship between honesty and informed sexual consent.

Drawing from her own past relationship, the experience of a friend, and the sexual assault allegations and survivor advocacy surrounding Cornell University, Dr. Lisha asks difficult questions about the things people choose not to say and the consequences for those who trust them.

When someone secretly maintains multiple sexual relationships, the people involved lose access to information that might change their decisions about exclusivity, sexual health, intimacy, and whether to remain in the relationship. The betrayal goes beyond cheating. It raises serious questions about autonomy, sexual boundaries, and the right to make informed choices.

We explore why silence is not always innocent, how deflection and selective honesty undermine trust, and why discovering the truth years later can leave someone questioning their memories, judgment, sexuality, and entire relationship history.

We also examine an important distinction: sexual deception can violate trust and compromise informed decision-making, but whether a particular deception legally invalidates sexual consent or constitutes sexual assault depends on the circumstances and applicable law.

For survivors of sexual assault, emotional manipulation, narcissistic behaviors, coercive control, or intimate partner betrayal, these experiences can affect far more than a relationship. They can disrupt emotional safety, self-worth, sexual confidence, nervous system regulation, and the ability to trust again.

This episode asks you to examine a difficult truth: What responsibility do we have to disclose information when we know the truth might change another person's willingness to be intimate with us?

And what happens when the truth finally comes out?

Your body. Your boundaries. Your decisions. You deserve the information necessary to make choices about your own life.

Continue the conversation with Dr. Lisha Antiqua.

Learn more about Reclaim Intimacy

Explore Your Own University®, trauma-informed education, personal development, and programs for rebuilding identity, intimacy, and self-trust.

https://yourownuniversity.com

Connect with Dr. Lisha, buy her a coffee while you explore her book In To Me See, and find additional resources:

https://linktr.ee/drlishaantiqua

Subscribe to More Than Sex and Secrets, share this episode with someone who needs this conversation, and leave a review to help more survivors find the show.

What if the reason you've struggled to heal from childhood sexual abuse isn't a lack of effort, but an incomplete understanding of how deeply trauma affects your identity, body, emotions, relationships, and sense of safety?

In this episode of More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua sits down with Susan Pease for a deeply personal conversation about childhood sexual abuse (CSA), ritual abuse, complex trauma, and the realities of healing from experiences that are often difficult to explain, disclose, or even fully understand.

For survivors of severe childhood trauma, the effects often extend far beyond painful memories. Trauma can influence nervous system responses, emotional regulation, self-worth, intimacy, trust, boundaries, and the ability to feel safe in your own body. Survivors may spend years seeking answers, trying different healing approaches, and wondering why certain trauma responses persist despite their efforts.

Together, Susan and Dr. Lisha explore the challenges of healing from childhood abuse, the importance of understanding the whole person, and the questions survivors deserve to ask about trauma recovery and therapeutic support.

This conversation challenges the assumption that every survivor follows the same healing path. We explore the difference between managing trauma symptoms and rebuilding a relationship with yourself, including the role of identity, self-trust, personal choice, and reclaiming your life beyond abuse.

If you've experienced childhood sexual abuse, complex PTSD, dissociation, betrayal trauma, or long-term emotional and relationship difficulties after abuse, this episode offers perspectives on recovery, resilience, and finding support that respects the complexity of your experiences.

You deserve a healing journey that recognizes the full impact of what you've survived.

Connect with Susan (Sue) and all the amazing resources she shared on the show. www.suepeasebanitt.com - Her books and work.

www.endritualabuse.org - Dr. Ellen Lacter’s website with resources and research

https://isstdworld.isst-d.org/network/network-find-a-professional - The International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation’s Find a Therapist website where you can search for professionals experienced with dissociative disorders, trafficking, and RAMC (ritual abuse and mind control).

https://ra-free.org/migration-model - My colleague and fellow therapist author Eileen Aveni has developed a spiritual technique to help parts stuck in darkness move towards spiritual freedom.

In her new book it also includes an appendix showcasing this technique. Eileen wrote a chapter.https://ritualabuse.us/ - Neil Brick’s organization SMART (Stop Mind Control and Ritual Abuse Today) sponsors a conference every year and has a great depth of information as well as a newsletter. He has been doing advocacy work for decades and is a survivor of ritual abuse and mind control.

Continue Your Healing Journey and learn more about your host.

Explore Dr. Lisha Antiqua's trauma-informed education, coaching, books, and resources:

https://linktr.ee/drlishaantiqua

Begin with SSS: Safe, Secure & Successful, a seven-day introduction to building daily practices for greater safety, emotional awareness, and self-connection.

https://yourownuniversity.com/sss-invite

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I Am Jane Doe is a movement: The Cornell 7, Sexual Assault Trauma, and the Fight to Be Heard

What happens when surviving sexual assault is only the beginning of the fight?

The Cornell 7 case and the growing #IAmJaneDoe movement have brought national attention to sexual violence, consent, institutional accountability, and the extraordinary challenges survivors face when seeking justice. But what happens to the person behind the headlines?

In this episode of More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua explores why sexual assault is among the most devastating forms of violence, affecting far more than the physical body. From trauma responses, shame, and self-blame to disrupted identity, relationships, intimacy, and personal power, sexual violence can change how survivors experience themselves and the world.

Drawing from her personal experience of rape, research in transpersonal psychology, and years of teaching trauma recovery, Dr. Lisha shares four phases of healing: finding safety, understanding trauma, reclaiming identity, and rebuilding a life beyond abuse.

You'll hear about the fight to be believed, the difference between consent and compliance, why survivors sometimes freeze or fawn, and how healing begins with reclaiming authority over your body, mind, emotions, and future.

This conversation is for survivors, loved ones, educators, advocates, and anyone who wants to better understand the lasting effects of sexual assault.

Your story matters. Your identity belongs to you. And your future deserves more than survival.

Explore Dr. Lisha's book In To Me See: Reclaim Identity, Be Yourself, the Safe, Secure and Successful (SSS) program, and the Amazing YOU Method at https://LishaAntiqua.com.

Listen, follow More Than Sex and Secrets, and share this episode to help bring informed conversations about sexual violence and healing to more people.

What happens when a survivor decides, “I’m ready to do something about what happened to me”? Where do you start? What should you know before entering the legal system, especially when trauma, family, children, custody, or years of silence are part of the story?

This week on More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua sits down with family-law attorney, author, speaker, and advocate Jamie Britt Paine for a candid conversation about survivors, the legal system, and what people should understand before taking their next step.

Jamie brings more than legal experience to this conversation. Her work with families navigating divorce, custody, and major life transitions is informed by a difficult childhood and her advocacy for vulnerable children and families.

We also move beyond the courtroom and into Jamie’s own story. She shares about growing up in foster care, life with a mother who lived with bipolar disorder, losing her mother, grief, childhood pain, and the experiences behind her writing. We talk about what happens when the stories you inherited keep running your adult life, and what it takes to survive long enough to decide who you want to become.

Jamie calls part of this process coming “HOME,” Honoring One’s Magic in Evolution. Her work explores rebuilding safety, breaking people-pleasing patterns, trusting yourself, creating boundaries, and moving from surviving to thriving. Are you a survivor wondering about your legal options, someone carrying complicated childhood experiences into adulthood, a former foster child, or someone learning how to build a life beyond what happened to you? This conversation belongs in your headphones.

Find Jamie [email protected]

Buy the host a coffee - and find all the other goodies too

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In this episode, you are my bestie, and we are having a chat. I just turned on the mic and shared that I have been going through a rebirth, and my business has too. We talk about how many versions of yourself are you still trying to keep alive because you worked so hard to become them?

This week on More Than Sex and Secrets, I get personal about rebirth, reinvention, identity shifts, and the courage required to let an old version of yourself end.

With new websites, a new Amazing YOU Flow app, new work, and another season of her own life unfolding, Dr. Lisha shares what she is learning about recreation. We cannot be everything to everyone. We do not have to keep carrying every identity, business, relationship, dream, or version of ourselves simply because each once mattered.

Sometimes growth asks you to stop fixing the old life and start choosing the next one.

We talk about holding onto the past, grieving identities you have outgrown, releasing the pressure to remain who other people expect you to be, and giving yourself permission to reinvent yourself again and again. For trauma survivors especially, identity after healing raises a bigger question: Who are you when survival is no longer running your life?

Rebirth requires space. You get to decide what comes with you.

If you are in a life transition, starting over after trauma, rebuilding your identity, changing careers, ending a relationship, entering a new chapter, or feeling the pull toward something you have never experienced before, this episode is for you.

Learn more about Lisha - http://www.LishaAntiqua.com

Ready to put reinvention into daily practice? Join me inside Amazing YOU Flow. Choose who you are becoming, build daily evidence through the six Amazing YOU Power Zones, and begin living your next identity one choice at a time.

Amazing YOU Flow:
http://app.yourownuniversity.com

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What happens when a man wants closeness, love, and intimacy, but has never learned how to safely open up?

In this episode of More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua sits down with men’s embodiment coach and group facilitator Jason Lange for an important conversation about male trauma, childhood abuse, emotional intimacy, relationships, vulnerability, and the need for meaningful connection between men.

Men have pain histories too. Men experience abuse, rejection, abandonment, shame, loneliness, and relationship wounds. Yet many men grow up learning to contain those experiences rather than speak about them. That silence does not erase the pain. It often follows them into adulthood, affecting how they communicate, receive love, handle conflict, experience intimacy, and hold emotional space for the people they love.

Jason and Dr. Lisha talk about what men are often seeking underneath emotional withdrawal, how men learn to open up without losing their sense of self, and what holding space in a relationship looks like when both people have emotional needs. They also explore the role of men’s groups and why having healthy spaces with other men gives men opportunities for connection, accountability, support, embodiment, and personal growth that a romantic partner cannot replace.

Jason Lange is a men’s embodiment coach, group facilitator, and evolutionary guide who helps men develop greater clarity in their purpose and relationships. He is a certified No More Mr. Nice Guy coach and has trained and studied with John Wineland, Dr. Robert Glover, Jun Po Roshi, Tripp Lanier, and Ken Wilber.

If you are a man carrying a history you rarely talk about, or you love a man who struggles to let you close, this conversation offers a different way to understand what might be happening underneath the silence.

Connect with Jason - Jason Lange's Website Connect with Dr. Lisha - http://www.linktr.ee/drlishaantiqua

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What is virginity, and why has society tied it to purity, innocence, and a person’s value?

In this episode of More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua challenges the hymen myth, virginity culture, sexual shame, and the belief that consensual sex or sexual abuse changes your worth. If your first sexual experience involved molestation, coercion, betrayal, or assault, the responsibility belongs to the person who violated your right to choose. Your body is still yours. Your innocence, goodness, and value never left.

You will receive a live healing, a body reset to complement, and identify new experiences you are ready to choose on your terms. Start reclaiming your body, identity, confidence, and future with your free Identity Shift Blueprint:

https://identity-shift-bluep.vibepreview.com/

Subscribe to More Than Sex and Secrets, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review. Visit Dr. Lisha’s Linktree to explore her programs, connect with her, and buy her a coffee:

http://www.linktr.ee/drlishaantiqua

What happens when you reach 40 and realize part of your identity has been waiting for you to acknowledge it?

In this deeply personal episode of More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua sits down with Sarah Rutledge Fischer for an open conversation about dissociation from the body, sexuality, identity, relationships, and Sarah’s experience of coming out as a lesbian later in life.

Sarah shares what it was like to recognize and admit her sexuality at 40, after years of feeling disconnected from parts of herself. We talk about the complicated space between knowing something internally and becoming ready to name it, what dissociation from your body and sexuality can look like, and what happens when the identity you have been living no longer reflects who you know yourself to be.

We also explore coming out later in life, divorce and family transitions, shame, authenticity, self-trust, sexual identity, LGBTQ+ relationships, and the process of reconnecting with your body after years of disconnection.

Today, Sarah is a queer attorney, divorce coach, mediator, and founder of Thresholds Mediation, where part of her work focuses specifically on supporting people coming out later in life and LGBTQ+ individuals and families moving through major relationship transitions.

If you have ever wondered why you feel disconnected from your body, questioned your sexuality, struggled to understand your identity, or realized the life you built no longer fits the person you have become, this conversation gives language to an experience many people live silently.

Connect with Sarah and learn about her work:

Thresholds Mediation

Sarah on TikTok

Sarah on Instagram

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Sarah on LinkedIn

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Have you ever thought, “Something took over,” “I wasn't myself,” or “Where did THAT reaction come from?”

In this provocative episode of More Than Sex and Secrets, Dr. Lisha Antiqua explores the intersection of demons, trauma responses, dissociation, psychosis, spiritual experiences, and the moments when we feel disconnected from ourselves.

We look at the language of “fighting your demons” through the four elements of self: physical, mental, emotional, and etheric. What is happening in your nervous system? What thoughts and beliefs are taking over? What emotions are driving the reaction? And where does spirituality enter the conversation?

Rather than forcing every frightening experience into one explanation, this episode asks you to become more conscious of what is happening within you, reclaim your authority, and learn how to return to yourself when fear, triggers, overwhelm, or old survival patterns take over.

If you need something practical for those moments, get the SSS Bundle, Safe, Secure, Successful. These short practices help you reconnect with your physical, mental, emotional, and etheric self when you feel triggered, overwhelmed, disconnected, or pulled out of your center.

Get SSS and explore more at:
http://www.linktr.ee/drlishaantiqua