Mother's Guide Through Autism

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In this week's insightful episode, Brigitte interviews Greg Burns who is a system safety engineer in Australia to talk about his recent autism diagnosis in his late 50’s and his experience of living on the spectrum.

Greg shares his story of how he came to be diagnosed on the spectrum in this late 50's back in 2019.  Through his online interaction with other autistic adults, he realized he had many characteristics common in autistic individuals. He was soon after diagnosed by a psychologist in his local area.

His diagnosis helped him realize that he had been masking to fit in with the neurotypical ways of communicating.  He says that masking can cause stress that can be internalized and manifest as various kinds of illnesses, which he personally experienced.

He recalls his mom telling him that he didn’t develop a personality until he left home, which he believes resulted from trying to fit in and masking.

He talks about the challenges of the neurodiverse-neurotypical marriage of 30 years with his wife Robyn and how his primary motivation for getting diagnosed was to offer understanding to his wife and himself of his behaviors that distressed her so they could both get their needs met.

The diagnosis provided much understanding for how his thinking would be different from most people’s thinking and what would make him stand out.

He also talks about how his autistic traits, such as focus and attention to detail, have helped in his successful engineering career.

He shares his poem called "My Language" which expresses frustration and sadness of how autistic people are not being understood.

Finally, he shares what he wants us to know most about being autistic.

Enjoy this episode!

Resources/Links:

Embrace Autism
https://embrace-autism.com/what-its-like-to-be-autistic/

Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/EmbraceASD.Community/

Poetic Christi
http://poeticachristi.org.au/

"My Language" Poem
https://the-art-of-autism.com/my-language/

Mother's Guide Through Autism Private FB Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersguidethroughautism

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this week’s episode, Brigitte interviews Sandra Kwesell, a child development expert and the founder of the Pillars for Success® parenting program, to talk about the parenting principles that can bring out the positive responses in our children. 

Sandra has worked with children and families in just about every setting on Earth, ranging from preschools and public schools to day treatment and residential settings, to youth prisons and everywhere in between. 

She has degrees in Elementary Ed., Special Ed., and Counseling and has combined her knowledge and experience to create the Pillars for Success® parenting program, designed to empower and support families with the insights, rules, and tools to move from a journey of heartache and frustration to a journey of solutions and celebration.

Sandra shares the tragic story of her brother’s suicide at a young age which lead her to pursue a career in human health and development. This devastating and shocking event has pushed her to dedicate her career to help in any way to prevent similar tragedies from happening in other families. 

With over decades of research and experience in education and counseling, Sandra has developed her parenting program based on effective parenting principles she discovered. 

She talks about 3 major reasons why challenging and defiant behaviors occur in our children and explains that in almost all cases, children are trying to satisfy the needs of these 3 categories. 

She goes over the principles and concepts behind the Pillars for Success® parenting program that can give us a better understanding of our children’s challenging behaviors and how we can empower ourselves to support our children’s needs. 

Enjoy this episode!

Resources/Links:

Pillars for Success
https://www.pillarsforsuccess.com/

9 Pillars of Successful Parenting
https://amzn.to/3iHQWhJ

Pillars for Success Course Workbook
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1725977702/

Mother's Guide Private Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersguidethroughautism

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this week's episode, Brigitte interviews Patricia Lemer, an author of three books including Outsmarting Autism, to talk about transitioning kids on the spectrum into adulthood.

Patricia Lemer is a Licensed Professional Counselor, and practiced as an educational diagnostician in the Washington, DC area for over 40 years. She was a co-founder and served as Executive Director of Developmental Delay Resources (DDR), an international, non-profit organization for 20 years.

Ms. Lemer and Brigitte talk about the  estimated 800,000 adults that are entering adulthood needing support services and how we as a society need to prepare for a very wide range of kids with different abilities entering post-secondary education and employment.

Ms. Lemer says that transition is a huge team sport that involves schools, government, social service agencies, parents, and the child and we need to look at the developmental level of each child instead of their chronological age by giving them a functional assessment to see where the child is in many different areas including nutrition, finances, personal hygiene, sensory skills, and social skills.

She tells us about the alternate options to traditional college and employment that include internships, college-like programs, day programs, colleges with monitored apartments with “house parents,” farm programs, and multigenerational communities with jobs.

She talks about the innovative businesses that parents of kids with autism are creating to employ adults on the spectrum like Rising Tide Car Wash and The Chocolate Spectrum. 

 Ms. Lemer says to help kids find ways to use their obsessions and passions in a productive way and to harness their technical skills to make a vocation out of it.

Finally, she addresses the slightly controversial topic of the neurodiversity movement and its positive and possibly negative aspects.

You can find Ms. Lemer's books Outsmarting Autism: Build Healthy Foundations for Communication, Socialization, and Behavior at All Ages , Outsmarting Autism: The Ultimate Guide to Management, Healing and Prevention (now available in Italian), and EnVisioniong a Bright Future: Interventions that Work for Children and Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders wherever books are sold.

You can also listen to her biweekly webcast radio podcast, "The Autism Detectives" on www.HealthyLife.net.

Enjoy this episode!

Resources/Links:

Patricia Lemer Website
https://www.patricialemer.com/

Patricia Lemer Email
[email protected]

Outsmarting Autism
https://www.outsmartingautism.com/

Autism Detective Podcast
http://www.healthylife.net/

Private Mother's Guide Through Autism Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersguidethroughautism/

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this week's wonderfully helpful episode, Brigitte interviews Madeleine Woolgar, a speaker and parent coach to talk about how parents can reduce daily battles with their children. 

Madeleine began to work with families with children on the spectrum over ten years ago. Her work focuses on shifting the moms' mindset so they can go from guilt-ridden and stressed out to creative and clear-thinking and better able to take care of all that they need for their child. 

Madeleine talks about the common daily battles that parents engage in with their children like tantrums and control battles and how important it is for us to understand why these battles occur in the first place.  She urges us to get into the head of the child to understand what they need in the moment. 

In addition to understanding our child's why in doing what they do, Madeleine says that it's important to understand why you’re having the kind of reaction you’re having to your child’s behavior so that you can uncover hidden thoughts and beliefs that may be causing you to be more reactive. 

She explains why parenting strategies often don’t work and why working on your mindset is key to reducing battles with your child. 

She tells us to become aware of our thoughts  and ask, “What was I thinking about myself in the difficult moment?”

She also says that we need to give ourselves as much grace as we can in these moments of difficulty. She says to start with yourself in giving compassion because if you’re stressed, you cannot stay calm in challenging situations. 

She leaves us with this advice: Reach out for help if you're struggling.

Enjoy!

Resources/Links

5 Ways to Reduce Daily Battles
www.mumswhothrive.com/dailybattles 

Heartled Mums for Strong-Willed Children Facebook Group
www.facebook.com/groups/heartledmums

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/mentormadeleine

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/mentormadeleine/

Private Mother's Guide Through Autism Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersguidethroughautism/

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this week’s insightful episode, Brigitte interviews Martin Silvertant, an award-winning graphic designer, co-founder, researcher, and blogger at Embrace Autism to talk about his personal journey of growing up with autism without knowing it and being diagnosed at 25. 

Martin shares his story of how he had an inkling that he was different as a teenager. He knew he had a hard time relating to people before that but when he turned 12 it seemed that his awareness opened up to see how different he was from others. Before turning 12, life seemed like a movie that was playing, Martin recalls.

He remembers that their classmates were relating to each other in ways that were not intuitive to him at all and that confused him. He had to put in a lot of effort to know how to respond and to understand what was socially appropriate. He didn’t know anything about autism at the time but he knew he was different in some way.

When he was 19, he found a website that listed a long list of symptoms of Asperger Syndrome and he was absolutely shocked that the whole list described him exactly how he was. He was later officially diagnosed at 25. 

He tells how he was more focused on concepts and activities than people and not wanting to have social interactions growing up. He explains that autistic people don’t get dopamine from social interactions like neurotypical individuals do but instead get dopamine from pursuing special interests. 

He recalls one of his birthdays where his parents thought he was not happy with the gift he received because he did not show a lot of excitement although in fact, he was happy with the gift. He realized that he did not show his emotions in the way that he was expected, and in order to please his parents, he learned to “act up” his emotions especially on birthdays. Oftentimes, he felt like he had to put up an act even with his parents. 

He says that the biggest struggle he faced on this journey was not having a sense of belonging, feeling different, and feeling wrong. He beat himself up for that until he later realized that he’s not equally good at everything but his brain is specialized in some ways and he is good at other things. 

As an adult, he now feels he is living more authentically because he has learned to seek out situations where he can be more authentic and has gotten more comfortable with being himself. 

He attributes his creative talent to having great attention to detail which is common among autistic people. He feels that his strength is his creative process and that he is able to generate ideas easily and make connections and have insight in subjects that a lot of people don’t necessarily do. 

He also talks about why eye contact is difficult for autistic people and people with alexithymia (which is common in autistic people). 

His advice to autistic adults is to be themselves since they often camouflage or mask themselves to fit in or to be liked. 

Martin gives this advice to parents of autistic individuals: question your own assumptions to keep showing curiosity in your child and their cognitive process. Keep asking questions and keep showing interest in your child and engage in the activities that they’re interested in.

Enjoy this episode!

Resources/Links:

Embrace Autism Website
https://embrace-autism.com/

Embrace Autism Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/EmbraceAutismInc/

Embrace Autism Facebook Community Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/embraceautism.community

Mother's Guide FB Group
https://bit.ly/2R4J5kA

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this week’s insightful and enlightening episode, Brigitte interviews Siena, an 18-year-old multi-award-winning neurodiversity advocate, bestselling author, and UN Young Leader for the SDGs, to talk about bullying and how to grow up awesome and autistic.

Siena recalls being different at a young age and how she struggled to make friends. She was constantly bullied and had to change schools 11 times over the course of her secondary school career. She was beaten with sticks, shoved in lockers, held out a window, called robotic, cold, freaky, weird, and psycho in every school she went to. 

When she was diagnosed with autism at 12, everything made sense to her and she realized all of the bullying she experienced wasn’t her fault but it was the prejudices and stereotypes that people had and it was the problems people had in their own lives that they were taking out on her.

She says that the biggest thing we have to do is to hold bullies accountable. Although all the schools had a zero-tolerance policy, none of the bullies were held accountable even when the bullies admitted to it.

Siena doesn't see being autistic as having deficits and instead, she sees it as a strength. “My autism is a difference, not a disability," she says. 

Siena says that the biggest misconception people have about autism is that they are all are alike. A lot of people don’t see autistic people as leaders and see them as people who have communication struggles or who would be quiet in the corner. She hears of a lot of people who don’t get job promotions or don’t get the leadership roles they deserve because of the misconception. 

She says that another misconception is that more males have autism. She explains that autism presents differently for girls and women and they are great at masking and pretending to be neurotypical.

Siena started Quantum Leap Mentoring when she was 13 because there was a lack of resources for neurodiverse individuals who are going through school. This website offers many articles on autism and how to thrive in school. 

She talks about her book The Spectrum Girl’s Survival Guide: How To Grow Up Awesome and Autistic which offers resources and practical advice for autistic girls. She almost didn’t write this book due to her busy schedule but she knew she had to write it when she realized that there wasn’t any book available for autistic girls that was written by an autistic girl. 

Siena offers this advice to autistic individuals: Learn as much about yourself as possible and see your autism as a strength and focus on the positive areas and learn how autism really affects you. 

Her advice to mothers of kids with autism: Broaden your idea of what happiness is. Know that your child might have different preferences and ways they can be happy. 

Enjoy this episode!

Resources/Links:

Siena's Website
https://www.sienacastellon.com/

Quantum Leap Mentoring
https://www.qlmentoring.com/

Twitter
https://twitter.com/qlmentoring?lang=en

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/qlmentoring/

The Spectrum Girl's Survival Guide
https://amzn.to/3xIa1pH

Mother's Guide Through Autism Private FB Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersguidethroughautism

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this week's amazing episode, Brigitte interviews Dr. Stephanie Vavilala, a licensed mental health counselor, the founder of Awetism Wonderland, and a mother of a 9-year-old girl who has autism and is nonverbal. Dr. Stephanie has a mission to provide support for children on the spectrum, as well as their families. 

Dr. Stephanie shares her story of struggling to conceive for 5 years with 6 rounds of IVF treatment and 3 miscarriages, and finally giving birth to Sabita who was her miracle child and an absolute joy to her. 

Sabita was diagnosed to be on the spectrum after she turned one. Wanting to find solutions to help her daughter, Dr. Stephanie went back to school and became a Board Certified Behavioral Therapist. 

Realizing how hard it was for parents to find services for their children in her county,  she decided to add ABA Therapy to her existing company Therapeutic Expressions which offered mental health services. 

She immersed herself in the work of helping other kids like Sabita, and that became her life focus for many years. Although she loved it, she lost herself along the way from neglecting to take care of herself. That is when she realized that she needed to create a community for special needs moms. 

She then created Flamingle, a local support group for special needs moms to have fun and play and to support each other. 

She is now very passionate about making life easier for special needs families through the use of technologies and with resources and support that she herself has found helpful in empowering her own daughter to unleash her full potential.

Dr. Stephanie recently pulled Sabita out of school to get her homeschooled because Sabita was not getting what she needed from the current school curriculums. 

Knowing the needs of other children like Sabita, Dr. Stephanie decided to create Awetism Wonderland, which is an autism therapy center opening up this fall in St. Augustine, FL.

Awetism Wonderland is a comprehensive center with everything for autism therapy--OT, PT, ABA, Art Therapy, Music Therapy, Play Therapy, Baking Therapy, and many more.

The center was created to give kids like Sabita a place of different types of learning environments with a strength-based approach that provides social interaction as well as functional academic skills and life vocational skills. This center will provide support for kids on the spectrum as well as their parents, siblings, and peers.

Dr. Stephanie has also recently published a beautiful children's book called Sabita Finds Her Voice which is about her daughter finding her voice through technology. She shares two of the communication apps that have been helpful for Sabita. 

She leaves us with this advice: Trust your gut, take care of yourself, reach out to a community, and advocate wherever you go and educate others!

Resources/Links:

Dr. Stephanie Website
https://stephanievavilala.com/

Therapeutic Expressions
https://therapeuticexpressions.com/

Awetism Wonderland
https://awetismwonderland.com/

Sabita Speaks
https://www.sabitaspeaks.org/

Sabita Finds Her Voice
https://amzn.to/34ws0mp

Verbal Victor
https://bit.ly/3oYGd57

Proloquo2go
https://apple.co/3vyn24O

Mother's Guide FB Group
https://bit.ly/2R4J5kA

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this special episode of Mother's Guide Through Autism, Brigitte's son Joseph Shipman takes the mic to share what he's learned in the last 29 years of living on the autism spectrum.

This episode is for mother guides, father guides, guardians, and young people living on the autism spectrum who want to gain knowledge and insight about living an authentic, meaningful, and fulfilling life.

Joseph shares 7 important things for parents and autistic people to remember to create an authentic, meaningful, and fulfilling life including taking risks, having life responsibility, figuring out who you are and what you want, making mistakes, and more.

Enjoy this episode!

Resources/Links:

Mother's Guide Through Autism Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersguidethroughautism

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this week’s inspiring episode, Brigitte interviews Yenn Pukis, an autistic and non-binary author, advocate, public speaker, and community leader, to talk about building resilience for preteens and teens on the autism spectrum. 

Yenn has published 9 books including The Parents’ Practical Guide to Resilience for Preteens and Teenagers on the Autism Spectrum and The Guide to Good Mental Health on the Autism Spectrum and has presented as a speaker at a range of events including TEDx Canberra. 

Yenn was one of the first people to be diagnosed as adult with autism in Australia back in 1994 when it was called Asperger Syndrome. 

They recall being bullied a lot in school and struggling socially although they did well academically. They ended up getting into trouble with the law and life became extremely difficult for them. They developed a mental illness at 21 called Schizoaffective disorder due to self-medicating and drugs. 

At 25, no longer wanting their life to be negative and chaotic, they set about to change their world. “I want to put things in the world to make it better, not worse. And when I leave it, I want to leave it in a better way than it was,“ Yenn says passionately.  

They went on to university and earned three degrees including a Master’s in Visual Art and obtained a highly sought-after job in the Australian public service 14 years ago. They became an autism employment success story. 

They became a passionate autism advocate after meeting a 21-year old autistic man she would call Adam whom she met in the psychiatric ward when she was there for her mental illness. 

Adam had been told all that he couldn’t do and he was so limited by other people’s negative expectations that he spent the past 6 years sitting in his room playing computer games and not engaged in anything. He had no confidence in himself and had no understanding that he had anything to offer in the world. Moved to do something about this, Yenn published a book called The Wonderful World of Work, and shortly after, she was asked to give a TED Talk. 

Yenn has written more books that are focused on positive self-knowledge of autistic people to help individuals like Adam. 

They are now one of the most visible autistic advocates in the world and they feel that they are living proof of what people can achieve and what strengths autistic people can bring to the world with motivation and passion. 

They share some of the biggest struggles young autistic people face and keys to help them build resilience during difficult times.

They also give great advice to parents on how to help their autistic kids navigate through high school and employment. 

Finally, Yenn tells us to have the neurodiversity lens, listen to autistic people to understand autistic people, be an ally, and encourage our kids to ask questions. 

Enjoy this episode!

Resources and Links:

Yenn Website
http://jeanettepurkis.com/

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/yennpurkisbooks

Twitter
https://twitter.com/yennpurkis

Mother's Guide Through Autism Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersguidethroughautism

Brigitte Website
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show

Send us Fan Mail

In this week's highly informative and inspiring episode, Brigitte interviews Dr. Robert Melillo, one of the world’s most sought after and respected experts on neurobehavioral disorders and learning disabilities, to talk about the primary issue that he says is behind many of the neurological disorders including autism and ADHD.

Dr. Melillo has written 5 best-selling books including Disconnected Kids which has been translated into 8 languages.  He also created Brain Balance Achievement Centers which has approximately 150 centers and has helped tens of thousands of families.

He shares his journey of diving deep into research on various neurological conditions when his wife sought his help for a friend who had a child with autism and discovered that his own son had ADHD shortly after.

Not knowing how to help and not finding much help from his colleagues either, he spent 10 years researching to find the answers he was looking for and finally developed a brain balancing program to help the friend's son, his own son, and many other children.

He explains that functional dysfunction--a developmental imbalance that makes two hemispheres of the brain not communicate properly--is behind most of the neurological disorders we see today and in autism, there is usually a developmental delay in the right hemisphere of the brain whereas it's the left hemisphere of the brain in dyslexia. He says that it’s all about the functional connection and functional disconnectivity, however the specific condition presents itself as.

He further explains the functions of the right brain and the left brain and how they develop in our early years and why people with autism typically don’t hear the tone and inflection of voice and have difficulty forming attachment and personal relationships with others and maintaining them.

He goes on to explain what is causing it all and how we can reverse the skyrocketing increase in these conditions.

He talks about his at-home brain balance program, which is offered in his book Disconnected Kids,  that can help parents understand what’s happening in their child’s brain and help them do things using different types of stimulation including exercises to get rid of retained primitive reflexes and stimulate one side of the brain or the other as well as incorporating diet and nutrition.

He also shares some inspiring success stories where children had remarkable improvement in their conditions from participating in his program.

He tells parents not to listen to people who tell them there is nothing they can do about their child’s condition. He says that in most cases, the conditions can completely go away or be significantly improved.

He also offers some wise advice to parents on improving and maintaining the well-being of their children.

Finally, he leaves us with this message for parents with adults children with autism, "it's never too late."

Enjoy this Episode!

Resources/Links:

Dr. Robert Melillo Website
https://www.drrobertmelillo.com/

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/DrRobertMelillo/

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/DrRobertMelillo/

Mother's Guide Through Autism Private Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersguidethroughautism

Brigitte's Website:
https://bmvlifecoach.com/

Support the show