The Autism Little Learners Podcast

A quick heads up before you listen: Jordyn prepared some answers ahead of time and responded to others in real time, so you'll hear pauses between each question and Jordyn's answer. I challenge you to resist the urge to fast-forward through the wait time. Sitting with that silence is one of the most important skills of a good communication partner — in this episode, and in your classroom. As we get ready to kick off AAC Awareness Month on October 1st, I'm bringing back one of my most meaningful conversations for this special encore episode. I'm joined by Jordyn Zimmerman, an autistic woman who is non-speaking and a full-time AAC user. Jordyn shares her lived experience with communication, education, and what it means to truly presume competence. Jordyn didn't have access to robust AAC until she was 18 years old. In this conversation, she shares what she wishes the adults around her had understood, why communication access should never have prerequisites, and what educators, therapists, and families can do differently for the nonspeaking autistic children in their lives. In this episode, we talk about:

• Why a lack of speech is not a lack of language — and nonspeaking does not mean non-understanding
• Why communication is a basic human right, not something a child has to earn
• Why there should be no prerequisites for access to AAC
• The differences between PECS, core boards, and robust language-based AAC
• What an AAC-rich environment can look like
• What it really means to presume competence in our everyday interactions
• Why we shouldn't limit a child's vocabulary until they've "proven" they're ready for it
• The importance of autonomy, choice, and agency in communication
• Why communication needs to go far beyond requesting — our kids deserve to comment, ask questions, joke, disagree, tell stories, and show us who they are
• Why wait time is such an important skill for communication partners
• Jordyn's advocacy work and what she wants educators, therapists, and families supporting nonspeaking autistic children to know

Jordyn's perspective is such an important reminder as we head into AAC Awareness Month: communication is so much more than speech. Every person deserves to be heard, respected, presumed competent, and given access to a reliable way to communicate. Whether you heard this conversation when it originally aired or you're listening for the first time, I can't think of a better conversation to revisit as we begin a month dedicated to AAC awareness. Related Resources & Links Jordyn Zimmerman Website Jordyn's documentary Preschool Autism Summit + VIP Day (Jordyn returns for a deeper conversation)

When an autistic child is melting down, refusing, running away, or saying "no," what looks like challenging behavior may actually be a stress response or an important form of communication.

In this episode, Tara is revisiting the way we think about behavior in autistic preschoolers and asking us to look underneath what we can see on the outside.

Instead of starting with "How do I stop this behavior?" we can get curious about what the child's nervous system may be communicating. Are they overwhelmed? Is the environment unpredictable? Are they trying to tell us no? Do they have a communication system that allows them to advocate for what they need?

Because when we understand behavior as communication, our response changes too.

Is It Behavior or a Stress Response?

What adults call "behavior" may actually be an autistic child responding to stress, overwhelm, an unmet need, or an environment that feels difficult to navigate. Looking beyond the observable behavior helps us understand what the child may be communicating and what support they need.

The goal isn't to simply make the behavior disappear. It's to understand what is happening underneath it.

How Does Stress Affect Autistic Children?

Stress can have a significant impact on an autistic child's ability to regulate, communicate, participate, and learn. Sensory overload, unpredictable routines, communication barriers, demands, and environmental changes can all increase stress.

When that stress builds, we may see crying, yelling, running away, shutting down, pushing something away, or other responses adults sometimes label as challenging behavior.

Instead of viewing those responses in isolation, we can ask what happened before them and what the child may need from us now.

Is Behavior a Form of Communication?

Yes. Behavior can communicate needs, discomfort, overwhelm, fear, frustration, or a desire for something to stop.

For an autistic preschooler who may not yet have reliable access to spoken language or another communication system in a stressful moment, their actions may be one of the clearest ways they have to tell us something is wrong.

When we view behavior as communication, we become less focused on stopping it and more interested in understanding the message.

Why Is Protest Important for Autistic Children?

Protest is communication, and autistic children need safe, reliable ways to say no, stop, all done, or "I don't want this."

A child turning away, pushing something aside, moving away, saying no, or communicating distress may be telling us something important. Honoring protest helps children learn that their communication matters. Self-advocacy starts much earlier than adulthood. It begins when children learn that the people around them will listen when they communicate that something does not feel right.

What Is the Difference Between Compliance and Connection?

Compliance-focused approaches prioritize getting a child to follow an adult's direction. Connection-focused approaches prioritize understanding the child, identifying unmet needs, supporting communication, and creating an environment where the child feels safe enough to engage.

That does not mean children never experience expectations, boundaries, or difficult moments. It means our first question becomes "What does this child need?" rather than "How do I make this child comply?"

How Does Co-Regulation Help an Autistic Child?

Co-regulation happens when a supportive adult helps a child move through stress by offering calm, connection, predictability, and safety.

Young children are still developing their ability to regulate independently. During stressful moments, they may need us to reduce language, adjust the environment, acknowledge their communication, and stay present without adding more pressure.

Regulation develops within relationships. We don't have to demand that a child calm down before we offer support.

How Can We Support Autistic Children During Stress Responses?

Supporting stress responses begins with looking beyond the behavior and identifying what may be creating stress for the child.

That might mean making the environment more predictable, providing visual information, reducing sensory demands, honoring a child's protest, giving access to communication, or simply staying close and co-regulating through a difficult moment. The support should respond to the need underneath the behavior, not simply make the behavior stop.

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• Why behavior and stress are closely connected for autistic children • How stressful environments can contribute to dysregulation • Why behavior should be viewed as communication • How unmet needs can show up through a child's actions • Why protest is a valid and important form of communication • How honoring "no" supports self-advocacy • Why compliance-focused approaches can miss what a child is communicating • How predictable routines can reduce stress and uncertainty • Why co-regulation matters during difficult moments • How communication tools can give autistic children more ways to advocate for themselves

Key Takeaways

• Behavior is communication • Stress can significantly affect an autistic child's ability to participate and communicate • A difficult behavior may be a sign that the environment or expectation needs to change • Protest is valid communication • Autistic children need ways to say no, stop, and all done • Self-advocacy begins in early childhood • Predictability can help reduce stress and anxiety • Co-regulation supports children through overwhelming moments • Communication tools give children more ways to express their needs • Compassion-based support asks what the child needs before asking how to change their behavior

Try This

Think about one behavior you've found yourself trying to stop.

• Maybe a child runs away during circle time.

• Maybe they push materials away.

• Maybe they cry during a transition, refuse an activity, or repeatedly say no.

Before deciding what strategy to use, ask a different set of questions.

• What happened right before this?

• What might be stressful about this moment?

• Is there a sensory need?

• Does the child understand what is happening?

• Are they trying to tell me no, stop, or all done?

• Do they have another reliable way to communicate that message?

And finally: what can I change about the environment or my response that might make this moment feel safer? Sometimes changing the question changes everything.

Related Resources & Links

💚 Honor Protest: Understand and Respond to Communication💚 Visual Support Starter Set💚 Calming Kit for Preschoolers💚 Autism Little Learners Membership💚 Research Articles Mentioned in This Episode

Final Thoughts

When we only look at behavior, we can miss the child underneath it. The crying, running, pushing away, shutting down, or saying no may be communicating something important about stress, safety, sensory needs, or overwhelm. Our job isn't simply to make those responses disappear. It's to get curious about what they mean.

Because when autistic children learn that their communication will be noticed, respected, and supported, we're doing more than helping them through one difficult moment. We're showing them that their voice matters.

Transitions are often the first part of the preschool day to fall apart for autistic children, especially when routines change, activities end, or expectations shift quickly.

Every. Single. Year.

In this episode, Tara is talking less about transition tricks and more about why transitions are genuinely so hard for many autistic preschoolers.

A transition can involve much more than moving from one activity to another. A child may need to shift their attention, leave a deeply engaging activity, process new sensory input, understand what is happening next, and regulate the emotions that come with an unexpected or unwanted change.

Because once we understand the why, the strategies finally have a better chance of sticking.

Why Are Transitions So Hard for Autistic Children?

Transitions can be difficult for autistic children because they often require several demanding shifts at the same time. A child may need to stop an activity, redirect their attention, enter a different sensory environment, process new language, and manage uncertainty about what is coming next.

What looks like refusal or noncompliance may actually reflect overwhelm, difficulty shifting attention, sensory stress, or a need for more time and information.

How Does Predictability Affect Transitions?

Predictability helps an autistic child understand what is happening now and what will happen next. When a routine changes unexpectedly or a child does not have enough information about what is coming, that uncertainty can make the transition much harder.

Consistent routines, visual information, and advance notice can make the day feel more understandable and manageable.

This does not mean every part of the day has to happen exactly the same way. It means we give children clear information when something is about to change.

Can Sensory Changes Make Transitions More Difficult?

Yes. A transition often involves much more than physically moving from one activity or location to another.

A child may be moving from a quiet space into a noisy classroom, from dim lighting into bright lighting, or from a familiar activity into an environment filled with different sounds, smells, people, and movement.

Even when the next activity looks simple to an adult, the sensory shift may feel significant to the child.

Looking at what changes between the two environments can help us understand why a specific transition is difficult.

What Does Executive Functioning Have to Do With Transitions?

Executive functioning helps us shift attention, organize our next steps, remember what we are supposed to do, and move from one task to another.

These mental shifts can require significant effort for autistic preschoolers.

A child may understand that circle time is over but still need extra time to disengage, process the next direction, organize their body, and move toward the next activity.

Instead of assuming the child is refusing to transition, consider how many separate steps their brain is being asked to manage all at once.

What Is Monotropism?

Monotropism is a way of understanding the deep, focused attention many autistic people experience. An autistic child may become intensely engaged in one interest, activity, or sensory experience at a time.

That deep attention can support learning, creativity, regulation, and connection. It can also make abruptly shifting away from an activity especially difficult.

When a child is deeply engaged, leaving that activity may not feel like a simple request to clean up. The child may need time, information, and support to shift their attention.

Respecting that deep engagement does not mean transitions never happen. It means we recognize that the transition may require more effort than it appears to from the outside.

How Can We Make Transitions Easier for Autistic Preschoolers?

Making transitions easier begins with understanding what is making the transition hard for that particular child. Once we understand the underlying need, we can choose a support that gives the child more predictability, processing time, and access.

• A visual schedule may help a child who does not know what is coming next.

• A predictable warning may help a child who needs more time to shift their attention.

• A video model may help a child understand an unfamiliar routine.

• Sensory support may help when the next environment feels overwhelming.

There is not one transition strategy that works for every autistic child. The most effective support is the one that matches the reason the transition is difficult.

Transition Supports Mentioned in This Episode

• Use a visual schedule so the child can see what is happening now and what will happen next • Give clear, predictable warnings before an activity ends • Use consistent words or visual cues during familiar transitions • Allow additional processing time before repeating a direction • Validate that stopping a preferred or deeply engaging activity can be difficult • Consider the sensory differences between the current activity and the next one • Use video modeling to preview unfamiliar routines or environments • Create predictable transition routines that children can learn over time • Reduce unnecessary verbal language during stressful moments • Watch for early signs of overwhelm instead of waiting for the transition to fall apart

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• Why transitions can create genuine stress for autistic preschoolers • How routine and predictability support smoother transitions • Why sensory changes can make a seemingly simple transition overwhelming • How executive functioning affects a child's ability to stop, shift, and begin something new • What monotropism can teach us about deep attention and engagement • Why difficult transitions should not automatically be labeled as noncompliance • How visual schedules can make upcoming changes easier to understand • Why processing time matters when a child is shifting their attention • How validation and empathy support children during difficult transitions • Why understanding the cause should come before choosing a strategy

Key Takeaways

• Difficult transitions are not automatically refusal or noncompliance • Transitions may involve changes in attention, sensory input, language, environment, and expectations • Predictability can reduce uncertainty and anxiety • Sensory differences are an important part of the transition experience • Deep engagement is meaningful and should be respected • Autistic children may need more time to shift their attention • Visual information can make transitions more concrete and understandable • Validation belongs alongside practical transition supports • Strategies are more effective when they respond to the actual reason the transition is hard • Support should make transitions more accessible, not simply make children move faster

Try This

Choose one transition that tends to fall apart first. Before adding another timer, song, reward, or verbal reminder, pause and look at the transition from the child's perspective.

• What are they being asked to stop?

• What sensory changes happen next?

• Do they know where they are going and what will happen when they get there?

• Are they deeply engaged in the activity they are leaving?

• How much time are they being given to shift their attention?

• How much spoken language are they being asked to process during the transition?

Once you understand what may be making the transition genuinely difficult, choose one support that responds to that need.

• Maybe it is a visual schedule.

• Maybe it is a predictable warning.

• Maybe it is a short video showing what will happen.

• Maybe it is changing the way the next environment feels.

• Or maybe the biggest shift is simply giving the child more time.

The most effective transition strategy is not always the newest trick. It is the one that matches the reason the transition is hard.

Related Resources & Links

💚 Portable Visual Schedules💚 Video Modeling Guide💚 Video Modeling Blog Post💚 Related Podcast Episode 15💚 More Information About Monotropism💚 Autism Little Learners Membership

Final Thoughts

Transitions can look simple from the outside, but there may be a lot happening underneath them.

A child may be leaving something deeply meaningful, entering a difficult sensory environment, trying to understand an unexpected change, and organizing their body for a new expectation—all at the same time.

When we understand the role of predictability, sensory processing, executive functioning, and deep engagement, we can stop seeing a difficult transition as something a child is doing to us.

Instead, we can ask what would make that moment easier for them. We are not trying to make autistic children better at tolerating confusing and unpredictable environments. We are working to make those environments more understandable, supportive, and accessible.

If you're looking for the best visual supports for autistic preschoolers, these five foundational tools can make classroom routines, transitions, communication, and everyday expectations easier to understand.

In this episode, Tara is going back to the basics and sharing five of her favorite visual supports for young autistic children. These are the supports she returns to again and again because they are practical, flexible, and easy to use in preschool classrooms, therapy spaces, and at home.

Visual supports can make routines more predictable and reduce the amount of spoken language a child has to process. But with so many different types of visual supports available, it can be hard to know where to begin.

That's exactly what we're breaking down today.

What Are the Best Visual Supports for Autistic Preschoolers?

The best visual supports are the ones that give a child clear, meaningful information about what is happening now, what is coming next, and what they can expect. Tara's five go-to supports are a first-then board, visual schedule, All Done Bucket, Wait Mat, and visual countdown or star chart.

What Is a First-Then Board?

A first-then board is a simple visual support that shows an autistic child what is happening first and what will happen next. It can make routines and transitions easier to understand without requiring the child to process a long series of verbal directions.

A first-then board can be especially helpful when a child is learning a new routine, preparing for a transition, or moving between activities.

How Does a Visual Schedule Help Autistic Preschoolers?

A visual schedule helps autistic preschoolers see and understand the sequence of activities within their day or routine. This added predictability can support transitions, communication, regulation, and independence.

For some children, starting with only two or three pictures is more supportive than displaying a full-day schedule. The schedule can grow as the child becomes familiar with checking it and moving through the routine.

What Is an All Done Bucket?

An All Done Bucket is a visual and concrete way to show a child that an activity or object is finished. Instead of relying only on spoken directions like "clean up" or "all done," the child has a predictable action that represents the ending.

When this system is modeled consistently, it can make difficult transitions easier to understand.

What Is a Wait Mat?

A Wait Mat is a visual support that gives a child a clear place to temporarily put a preferred or regulating object while participating in another activity. Unlike an All Done Bucket, the object is not finished or being taken away—it is waiting nearby.

That distinction can be especially important for autistic children who carry familiar objects for comfort, connection, or regulation.

How Can a Visual Countdown Help With Transitions?

A visual countdown shows a child that an activity will continue for a little longer and then end. Stars or other symbols can be added or removed so the child can visually see the transition getting closer.

The countdown isn't something the child has to earn. It provides information about what is going to happen next.

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• Why visual supports can be so helpful for autistic preschoolers • How visuals can support routines, transitions, communication, and independence • How to use a first-then board to make what's happening now and next more concrete • Why visual schedules don't have to show an entire day • How an All Done Bucket creates a clear ending to an activity • The difference between an All Done Bucket and a Wait Mat • How visual countdowns can prepare children for upcoming transitions • Why consistency matters when introducing a new visual support

Key Takeaways

• Visual supports can make spoken information more concrete and easier to process • Predictability can support regulation and reduce uncertainty • Start with the amount of visual information the child can understand right now • Visuals work best when they are modeled consistently • A visual support should provide information, not become another demand • Different children may need different types or amounts of visual support • Simple visuals used consistently can make a big difference throughout the preschool day

Try This

You don't need to introduce all five visual supports at once.

Choose one routine or transition that feels tricky right now. Think about what information might be unclear to the child: Do they know what is happening? What comes next? When something will be finished? Where a favorite object will go?

Then choose one visual that could make that information more concrete.

Start there. Model it consistently, give the child time to learn what it means, and pay attention to whether it is actually making the routine easier to understand.

Related Resources & Links

💚 Visual Supports Starter Set💚 All Done Bucket Podcast Episode💚 Themed Year-Round Adapted Book Visuals💚 Autism Little Learners Membership

Final Thoughts

Visual supports don't have to be complicated to make a meaningful difference.

A first-then board can make the next step clearer. A visual schedule can make the day more predictable. An All Done Bucket or Wait Mat can help a child understand what is happening to an important object. A visual countdown can make an upcoming transition easier to anticipate.

Start with one visual. Model it consistently. Give the child time to learn what it means. The goal isn't to get a child to follow a visual perfectly. The goal is to give them information in a way that is easier to understand.

Supporting regulation in the classroom starts with understanding what an autistic child's nervous system needs before we focus on expectations, participation, or learning. That's why regulation is the focus of Week 3 of our Back to School Foundations series.

By early September, you've probably moved past those first days of school when everyone is learning names, exploring the classroom, and figuring each other out. Your routines are starting to take shape, expectations are increasing, and you may also be seeing more dysregulation show up.

This is often when we start wondering, What can I do to help this child participate? How do I make circle time easier? Why are transitions suddenly so hard? What changed?

Before we add another expectation, I want us to look at regulation.

For six weeks, I'm revisiting some of the most important conversations from the Autism Little Learners Podcast and bringing them back when you may need them most. This week's conversation originally aired in early 2025, and it focuses on practical ways we can support emotional and sensory regulation throughout the classroom day.

We'll talk about the classroom environment, sensory needs, calming spaces, visual supports, sensory tools, and the important role we play in co-regulation. Most importantly, we'll talk about why regulation isn't something we work on only after a child becomes overwhelmed. When we understand an individual child's sensory needs and build supportive strategies throughout their day, we're creating an environment where they have greater access to communication, participation, connection, and learning.

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• Why the classroom environment can have such a big impact on regulation

• How reducing sensory overload can support autistic children throughout their day

• Why calming corners can offer a supportive place for children to manage sensory input and emotions

• How visual supports can provide information, support communication, and reduce uncertainty

• Ways sensory tools can help children get the sensory input their bodies need

• Why co-regulation with a trusted adult is so important for young children

• How sensory needs can look very different from one child to another

• Why regulation supports should be woven throughout the day rather than saved for moments of dysregulation

• How heavy work activities can support children who are seeking more sensory input

• Why helping young autistic children develop regulation skills has benefits that extend far beyond the classroom

Key Takeaways

• Regulation comes before expectation. Before asking how to get a child to participate, sit, transition, or complete an activity, consider what their nervous system may be communicating.

• The environment matters. Noise, lighting, movement, visual clutter, proximity to other people, and other sensory input can all affect how accessible a classroom feels to an individual child.

• Regulation looks different for every child. There isn't one sensory tool, calming strategy, or classroom setup that will work for everyone. Understanding the individual child is essential.

• Co-regulation comes before self-regulation. Young children develop regulation skills with support from calm, responsive adults. Our job isn't simply to tell a child to calm down. We can help them feel safe and supported as they move through those moments.

• Calming spaces aren't punishment spaces. A calming corner can provide access to sensory tools and a quieter environment when a child needs less input or a place to regulate.

• Sensory supports shouldn't only appear during a hard moment. Movement, heavy work, sensory tools, visual supports, and regulation opportunities can be intentionally incorporated throughout the day.

• The goal isn't a perfectly calm child. We're supporting children in understanding and responding to what their bodies need, not teaching them to hide signs of discomfort or dysregulation.

Try This

• Choose one part of your classroom day when dysregulation seems to happen more often and look at the environment before changing the child's behavior.

• Notice the sensory input around the child. What are they hearing, seeing, touching, or being asked to tolerate?

• Watch for what an individual child naturally does to regulate. Do they seek movement, pressure, quiet, repetition, or less sensory input?

• Think about one regulation support you could make available before the difficult part of the day rather than waiting until the child is overwhelmed.

• During a hard moment, try shifting from "How do I get them to do this?" to "What might their body need from me right now?"

Resources & Links

• Calming Kit Visuals — Visual supports and tools you can use to create a calming space and support regulation in your classroom. Calming Kit Visuals

• Visual Support Starter Set — Get started with simple visual supports you can use with young autistic children. Visual Support Starter Set

• Back to School Foundations Series — This is Week 3 of our six-part series. Start with Episode #188 and follow along as we move through the foundations, connection, regulation, visual supports, transitions, and understanding behavior as communication.

• New to neurodiversity-affirming language? Read Why We Say "Autistic Child": A Simple Guide to Neurodiversity-Affirming Language.

Building a positive connection with autistic students is one of the most important things we can focus on at the beginning of a new school year. That's why I'm making connection the focus of Week 2 of our Back to School Foundations series.

There's something about that second week of school, too. The first few days are behind you, the excitement and whirlwind of getting everyone through the door has settled just a little, and you start realizing, I have a whole room full of children I'm still getting to know.

And that takes time.

For six weeks, I'm revisiting some of the most important conversations from the Autism Little Learners Podcast and bringing them back at the time of year when you may need them most. This week's conversation originally aired way back in August 2023, during the very first year of the podcast, so there's a pretty good chance you haven't heard this one before. And even if you have, I think it's worth coming back to as you get to know a new group of students.

Last week, we talked about what needs to be in place before we really begin teaching. This week, we're slowing down and looking more closely at connection. When a new student walks into your classroom, you might already have an IEP, evaluation reports, goals, and plenty of information about what you're supposed to teach. But none of that replaces getting to know the actual child in front of you.

In this episode, I'm sharing simple ways to foster a positive connection with your autistic students and why taking time to learn about their interests, preferences, communication, and cues isn't taking time away from teaching. It becomes part of the foundation for everything you'll do together.

Because connection isn't something we check off during the first week of school and move on from. It's something we continue building all year long.

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• Why connection deserves our attention before we become too focused on goals and academics

• Simple ways to begin building trust with a new autistic student

• Why a child's interests can be an important doorway into connection

• How following a child's lead helps us learn more about their communication and interaction

• Why not every interaction needs to become a teaching opportunity

• How noticing all forms of communication helps us better understand the child in front of us

• Why respecting a child's communication, including "no," "stop," and "all done," matters

• How taking time to build a relationship supports learning throughout the school year

Key Takeaways

• Connection isn't separate from teaching. The time we spend getting to know a child gives us information that can make future learning more meaningful and accessible.

• An IEP tells us about a student, but it doesn't replace knowing them. Notice what makes them smile, what they move toward, what they avoid, and how they communicate.

• Interests can be a bridge to connection. Instead of always saving a favorite item or activity as a reward, we can join children in something they already enjoy.

• Not every interaction needs an agenda. Sometimes we can simply play, imitate, notice, laugh, and enjoy being together without immediately turning the moment into a lesson.

• Communication comes in many forms. Spoken words, AAC, gestures, facial expressions, body movements, sounds, scripts, reaching, moving toward something, and moving away can all communicate important information.

• Honoring communication builds trust. When children learn that the adults around them notice and respond to what they're communicating, we're strengthening the relationship.

• Connection takes time. It isn't a first-week-of-school activity. It's something we continue building and protecting throughout the year.

Try This

• Choose one student you're still getting to know and spend some time simply observing what they enjoy.

• Notice what they move toward when they have a choice and what they move away from.

• Join them in something they already love without adding a demand or immediately turning it into a lesson.

• Look for communication you may have previously missed, including gestures, movement, sounds, AAC, or actions.

• At the end of the day, instead of only asking, "What did I teach today?" ask yourself, "What did I learn about this child today?"

Resources & Links

• Back to School Foundations Series — This is Week 2 of our six-part series. Start with Episode #188 and follow along as we build from the foundations into connection, regulation, visual supports, transitions, and understanding behavior as communication.

• Keep Learning — Read the companion blog post about building positive connections with autistic students.

• New to neurodiversity-affirming language? Read Why We Say "Autistic Child": A Simple Guide to Neurodiversity-Affirming Language.

• Next Week — We'll continue the Back to School Foundations series with regulation and what it can look like to support it in the classroom.

This is Week 1 of 6 in the Back to School Foundations replay series. While I'm in Portland helping my daughter move into her first house, I'm revisiting six episodes I think will help most as you head back to school. New season starts Tuesday, September 29th, with five weeks on AAC for AAC Awareness Month.

So much of what goes wrong in September is really about something that was never put in place in August. Three things. That's it. Here's what they are.

I'm starting this series at the very beginning, with the framework I built to answer the question I get more than any other: where do I even start?

The answer is not with the IEP goals. It's with regulate, connect, and routines. Those are the three things that have to be in place before teaching begins, and teach is the fourth pillar that everything else holds up. We all want to jump straight to teach. Sit at the table, trace the name, sort the colors. But a child who isn't regulated can't take in what you're offering, and a child who doesn't trust you yet has no reason to try.

The framework is fluid. You'll move back and forth between all four pillars every day, student by student. A child can be doing beautifully in a teaching activity and be dysregulated two minutes later, and at that point we set our agenda aside and go back to what we know helps that child. That's not a detour from the work. That is the work.

We'll talk about:

• Why regulation has to come before expectation, and what interoception has to do with it
• How to build connection with children you don't know yet, without going into teacher mode
• How predictable routines lower anxiety and grow independence
• The four pillars of the Autism Little Learners Framework: Regulate, Connect, Routines, Teach

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why a dysregulated child is not in a position to take in new learning
• Why true self-regulation doesn't develop until well past early childhood, and what to do instead
• What "teacher mode" sounds like, and why the questions get in the way
• How to join a child's play without taking it over or directing it
• Why speaking is not the only way to communicate, and what multimodal communication looks like

Key Takeaways:

• Regulation before expectation. If a child isn't regulated, the lesson isn't landing.
• Co-regulation is the starting point at the early childhood level, not self-regulation.
• You have to reach the child before you can teach the child.
• No significant learning takes place without a significant relationship.
• Speaking is not the only way to communicate. Every child is already communicating.
• Predictable routines reduce anxiety and build independence.
• The framework is fluid. You'll move back and forth between all four pillars every single day.

Try This:

• Send the Child Interest Survey home this week and use what comes back
• Join one child in their favorite activity without asking a single question
• Watch and copy what a child is doing instead of directing the play
• Ask your OT for one sensory idea for one specific child
• Teach a calming sequence with a visual cue before you need it
• Look at one child's visual schedule and check the length and the symbol type against what that child actually understands
• Pick one daily routine and make a visual sequence for it

Related Resources & Links:

❤️ Child Interest Survey (free)

❤️ Free Visual Support Starter Set

❤️ Autism Little Learners Membership

"Children learn best when they like their teacher and when they think their teacher likes them." Gordon Neufeld

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"Don't buy him letters." That's what a professional told Cari Ebert when her son Aaron was two. He was "obsessed," they said, and needed to be moved toward more appropriate play.

Cari ignored them. Those letters were how Aaron showed joy, and how she connected with him. Nearly two decades later, that same deep interest in letters, numbers, and dates is what landed him a job he loves.

That moment is the heart of today's episode, because it's exactly what happens when we treat autism as a journey instead of a tragedy.

This is Cari's keynote from this year's Preschool Autism Summit. She brings two lenses to it: 30+ years as a pediatric SLP, and 21 years as mom to her autistic son. Together they make a case that so much of what we were taught to fear, grieve, and "fix" was never the problem. The problem was the language, the linear milestones, and the compliance-first thinking we inherited.

Cari walks us through Aaron's whole story, from spelling words before he could speak, to teaching himself to tie his shoes at 20, to reading bedtime stories to his baby nephew. Along the way she gives us a clearer, kinder way to talk to families and a real shift in how we show up for autistic children.

We'll talk about:

• why the child is exactly the same the day after a diagnosis, and it's the adults who need to shift
• the power of first messages, and how "red flags" teach families to fear a diagnosis
• deficit-based language versus affirming, neutral, strengths-based language
• what autism is not, and what it actually is
• the spiky, non-linear developmental profile
• reframing the spectrum into a support-needs profile
• honoring autistic joy as the doorway to connection and learning

Because we don't get to decide where an autistic child's journey ends. Our job is to keep believing there's more ahead.

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• Why autism is a journey, not a tragedy, and what changes when we lead with curiosity instead of fear
• How deficit-driven language sends the message that something is "wrong" with the child, and how to choose affirming or neutral language instead
• Why autism is not a delay, a disease, or something a child outgrows
• What a spiky developmental profile is, and why milestone charts don't fit autistic development
• How to give families space to grieve their expectations, not the child in front of them
• What presuming potential looks like in real life, including how video modeling helped Aaron learn a skill on his own timeline
• Why deep interests, from Metallica to NASCAR, are the way in, not something to redirect

Key Takeaways

• The diagnosis doesn't change the child; it changes how the adults see and support them
• Regulation creates the conditions for learning, and connection comes before communication
• All behavior has meaning; it's a clue, not a problem to extinguish
• Progress isn't linear, and growth continues across the whole lifespan
• Communication is a right, not something a child has to earn
• Autistic children are different, not less
• We stretch strengths instead of fixing deficits
• Families are the experts on their child, and the most important members of the team

Try This

• Take one traditional IEP goal and ask AI to rewrite it in neurodiversity-affirming language, without percentage-of-accuracy measures
• Swap deficit words for neutral ones this week: "deep interests" instead of "obsessions," "prefers consistency" instead of "rigid"
• Learn one child's deep interest, and use it as your starting point instead of redirecting it
• Reframe a behavior you'd usually try to stop, and ask what it's communicating about the nervous system
• Notice a child's glimmers, the small things that bring them micro-moments of joy, and make room for them
• Start with connection before you ask for a single communication skill

Related Resources & Links Cari Ebert's website - The Learning to Learn program, the Silly Sounds cards, and The SLP Talk Show podcast Preschool Autism Summit 2026 - Grab the summit replay bundle, a free guide, and get on the waitlist for 2027 Autism Little Learners Membership

When we treat autism as a journey instead of a tragedy, we stop asking a child to prove they're worthy of our belief and start offering it from the very beginning. Cari's son didn't become worthy the day he got a job or gave a keynote. He was always worthy. Once you see every autistic child that way, it changes everything about how you teach.

The one who melts down at the smallest request, who seems to dig in the moment you say "do this."...you know this child. In this episode I sit down with Casey Ehrlich, PhD — social scientist, founder of At Peace Parents, and a leader in the first peer-reviewed PDA research in the United States — to talk about PDA: what it is, why it's a nervous system response rather than defiance, and what actually helps.

PDA isn't defiance. It's a survival-level drive for autonomy — and once you see that, you respond to the child in front of you completely differently.

PDA most often stands for pathological demand avoidance, but many autistic people prefer pervasive (or persistent) drive for autonomy — because autonomy is right at the root of what activates the nervous system. Casey defines it as a survival drive for autonomy and equality that can override other survival instincts like eating, sleeping, toileting, and even safety.

We talk through what PDA actually looks like in young children, why behavior that reads as oppositional or manipulative is so often a nervous-system response, and the practical, compassionate shifts that help a dysregulated child feel safe again — in the classroom and at home.

We'll talk about:

● what PDA stands for — and why many autistic people prefer "pervasive drive for autonomy"

● why demand avoidance is a nervous system response, not manipulation or defiance

● the five characteristics Casey looks for, including equalizing behavior

● why we flip the order for PDA kids: nervous system and autonomy first

● the difference between independence and autonomy

● real strategies: signals of safety, declarative language, and rhythms over routines

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• What PDA is, and why "pervasive or persistent drive for autonomy" may describe it better

• How a survival drive for autonomy can override eating, sleeping, toileting, and safety

• Why "equalizing behavior" can look oppositional but is actually a nervous-system response

• How to read the early signals that a child is moving toward fight-or-flight

• Why reducing spoken language and using declarative language lowers perceived demands

• How to send signals of safety with your face, tone, and body — and why getting low matters

• What the "four S's" — safe nervous system, screens, sensory/novelty, special interest — reveal about regulation

• Why repair and felt safety, not teaching, are the moves in the hard moment

Key Takeaways

• PDA is a nervous system response, not defiance or manipulation

• Autonomy is at the root — a perceived loss of autonomy activates the survival brain

• For PDA kids, think nervous system and autonomy first, then sensory, executive function, and communication

• Independence is doing a task alone; autonomy is having a genuine say in what happens

• Signals of safety often matter more than words

• Declarative language lowers the demand a child perceives

• Think rhythms, not rigid routines — even a chosen routine can start to feel like lost autonomy

• Compassion over compliance — always

Try This

• Pause and ask whether a behavior might be a nervous-system response to a perceived demand

• Lower the demand: swap questions and directions for declarative, observational statements

• Get low to the child's level and soften your face, tone, and pace

• Offer real autonomy — a genuine say, not just a choice between two adult-chosen options

• Reduce spoken language during escalation and wait for the child to re-engage

• Build in rhythms instead of rigid routines

• In the hard moment, focus on repair and felt safety, not on teaching the lesson

Related Resources & Links

💚 Casey Ehrlich — At Peace Parents (free PDA masterclass)

💚 At Peace Parents Podcast

💚 The Declarative Language Handbook by Linda K. Murphy

💚 Free Visual Support Starter Set

💚 Autism Little Learners Membership

When we stop asking "How do I get this child to comply?" and start asking "What is this child's nervous system telling me?" everything changes. PDA kids aren't giving us a hard time — they're having a hard time. And when we lead with autonomy, safety, and compassion, we give them what they actually need to come back to calm and connection.

That child who waits for you to start every sentence? In this replay I sit down with SLP Alexandria Zachos — founder of Meaningful Speech — to talk about how years of prompting quietly create prompt dependence, and how silence, connection, and a child-led approach help gestalt language processors find their own spontaneous voice.

Prompting doesn't lead to spontaneous language. Connection, silence, and meeting a child where they are do.

Gestalt language processing (GLP) is a normal, natural way of developing language — just a different path than the analytic, word-by-word route most of us were taught. Alex walks us through what it actually is, how the stages unfold from delayed echolalia to flexible, novel grammar, and why so many kids we've labeled "echolalic" or "scripting" are simply gestalt language processors who need a different kind of support.

We also dig into the hard truth about prompting — why fill-in-the-blank, cloze phrases, and always initiating for a child can lead to prompt dependence — and what to do instead: natural language modeling, honoring all communication, and trusting silence to make room for language to emerge.

We'll talk about:

● what gestalt language processing is — and why it isn't a disorder

● the six stages of gestalt language development, from delayed echolalia to complex grammar

● how prompting and compliance-based strategies create prompt dependence over time

● why our ultimate goal is spontaneous, flexible, multimodal communication

● how silence, connection, and being a trusted communication partner change everything

● why it's never too late for an older child who has become prompt dependent

In This Episode, You'll Learn

• What gestalt language processing is, and how it differs from analytic language development

• How the stages unfold — delayed echolalia, mitigated echolalia, the "magic" word-freeing stage, and grammar

• Why delayed echolalia is always communicating something, even when it isn't literal

• How to do "detective work" to figure out what a child's gestalt actually means

• Why years of prompting and cloze phrases lead to prompt dependence, not spontaneous language

• What targeted natural language modeling looks like across communicative functions

• Why "the change starts with us," not with fixing the child

• How silence and the OWL approach (Observe, Wait, Listen) create space for language to emerge

• Why acknowledging all communication — a smile, a nod, a repeat — builds the trust language grows from

Key Takeaways

• Gestalt language processing is a natural way of developing language, not a disorder

• Delayed echolalia is meaningful — it's communicating something worth investigating

• Prompting does not build spontaneous communicators; child-led support does

• Our goal is spontaneous, flexible, novel communication — including through AAC

• Change starts with what we model and how we respond, not with the child

• Silence is a strategy: spontaneous language emerges when the pressure is off

• Acknowledge all communication to build the relationship and trust

• Use a child's own gestalts — and put them into AAC — for instant buy-in

• It's never too late for an older, prompt-dependent child

Try This

• Notice how often you prompt, question, or fill in the blank — then try saying less

• Use the OWL approach: observe, wait, and listen before you speak

• Let silence sit; follow the child's lead and join what they love

• Acknowledge every attempt to communicate with a repeat, a smile, or a nod

• Model language naturally instead of asking the child to perform it

• When you hear a gestalt, do some detective work to learn what it means

• Add a child's gestalts into their AAC device for automatic buy-in

• With an older prompt-dependent child, plan low-pressure sessions to rebuild trust first

Related Resources & Links

💚 Alexandria Zachos — Meaningful Speech (free masterclass on echolalia & child-led therapy)

💚 Meaningful Speech — Beginner's Guide to AAC (free masterclass)

💚 Natural Language Acquisition by Marge Blanc

💚 Free Visual Support Starter Set

💚 Autism Little Learners Membership

When we stop trying to pull language out of a child and start building a relationship they feel safe in, something shifts. Gestalt language processors don't need more prompting — they need us to slow down, model naturally, honor every way they communicate, and trust that the silence is doing work too. That's where spontaneous, joyful communication has room to grow.