MOVIEHUMPERS

HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST has officially begun and last year we tackled some Hammer Horror starring ( mostly) Christopher Lee. This year, every Wednesday, we’re rocking even more Hammer Horror movies with another actor that will (mostly) appear. We’re talking about Mr. Funtimes himself, Oliver Reed. Today we discuss an emotional Oliver Reed performance in the 1961 film “THE CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF” directed by the prolific Terence Fisher and also starring Clifford Evans, Yvonne Roman & Catherine Feller. A young boy, whose conception is from a sexual assault, is born on Christmas Day. Apparently anybody who is born on this day, that isn’t Jesus, is cursed. If that’s not sad enough his mother dies after going through labor. A kind man and his housekeeper raise the boy as his own. A good kid is given a chance but fate says “fuck them kids” because the man’s feral curse is bigger than any kindness. Actual wolves are easier to tame than this poor Werewolf who becomes a serial killer every full moon by no fault of the man inside. Our first of three werewolf features this month and they’re all pretty much tragedies. We found a link to this one right here: https://archive.org/details/the-curse-of-the-werewolf

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We are back for that most magical time of the year. Spooky season. Autumn. October. Halloween. HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST 2! Every weekday all October we discuss a different horror movie discussion and we will have even more horror to discuss than last year because we’re bookending the month with TWO movie review 6-Pack episodes in which we discuss 6 movies within a franchise or genre within a specific time limit for each movie. It’s often where our lowest rated movies rear their heads and while that is no exception in today’s episode, the good well outweighs the bad because we’re discussing zombie fare from the master of the zombie movie, George A. Romero. A beloved horror icon and we have no less respect for the man because he invented a modern horror trope in such a way that no matter what you do  if you decide to make your own zombie movie, you’re always going to be ripping off George at least a little bit. A classic zombie gorefest? Commentaries on race, consumerism and class? Black lead actors surviving in horror? Funny zombie movies? George did it all and we discuss four decades of Romero zombie horror with the inventive “NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD” from 1968, the iconic “DAWN OF THE DEAD” from 1978, the brutal “DAY OF THE DEAD” from 1985, the zombie revolution of “LAND OF THE DEAD” from 2005, the wobbly “DIARY OF THE DEAD” from 2007 and the baffling “SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD” from 2009. We only got six minutes to discuss each one and you better believe we ignore that limitation well into the episode. We had fun. One thing that George Romero will always give you is a gory good time. HAPPY HALLOWEEN HUMPFEST!

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What a journey. We’re rolling through our ninth discussion in our year-long theme of A DREARY YEAR OF VON TRIER. This US election year was guaranteed to feel heavy and hopeless and it’s lived up to that spectacularly. Add a dozen Lars von Trier movies to that because why not? Today we talk of his third in his “Depression Trilogy” and it’s definitely a fun one to trick your in-laws into watching. If you can talk your mother-in-law into watching the complete 5 hour and 20 minute director’s cut of the 2013 film “NYMPHOMANIAC” then you deserve a large trophy at the very least. That’s what Bob and Angela did. The whole damn thing. Charlotte Gainsbourg plays Joe, a nymphomaniac. She’s found beaten and pissed on by Seligman, played by Stellan Skarsgård, an asexual and learned man who helps her out and hears her sordid stories of BJs, DPs, S&Ms, MMFs and you figure you would hear more about VDs, STDs and other things after sleeping with hundreds, maybe thousands, of people but not really. HPV at the very least. I think most of us have that one except Seligman. There is a home abortion in this movie so make sure you don’t miss that. We got quite the ensemble that includes Shia LeBeouf, Stacy Martin, Christian Slater, Jamie Bell, Uma Thurman, Willem Dafoe, Mia Goth and more. The movie is called “Nymphomaniac” and it’s by Lars von Trier and it’s what you would expect so let’s get up in them guts and talk about it. 

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With this episode we end September’s theme of EUROPEAN VACATION and we’ve hit up plenty of classic Euro bangers. The A and S-Tier lists are swelling. This is a good thing and today’s discussion is no different as we make our final stop in Germany to discuss our third Fassbinder movie for the show. One last fling before Halloween time and we got one of Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s most infamous. His 1974 film “ALI: FEAR EATS THE SOUL”. It’s strangely sweet story of human connection and the intense social layers that push us apart. Brigitte Mira plays Emmi, an elderly widow and cleaning lady who wanders into a bar lured in by some music she’s never heard before. She meets Ali, as played by El Hedi ben Salem, who has no problem asking this woman for a dance after his friends tease him to do so. They hit it off quite well and before you know it she’s the big gossip topic of her building, her cleaning lady buddies have abandoned her and her son is kicking her TV in. Ali is used to being treated like a dog. Can Emmi handle the heat?  Can love win or do these things truly ever last? Just make the man some couscous. Couscous is so good. You can jazz it up and put stuff in it like rice. Anyway. Hitler. Have you heard of him? Halloween Humpest Year 2 begins next week. Here’s a link to today’s movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRM0vjTc5L8&list=PLrrKbHPKjy_Olj0GIYylwA1s9Vm5gerE3&index=4

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We’re winding down our European Vacation and we make a stop in Norway but there’s something that goes beyond the borders in Joachim Trier’s 2021 romance/comedy/drama/coming-of-age film “THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD”. Renate Reinsve plays “Julie” whose fickle and drifting life might seem a little too familiar especially if you’re in a certain age range. She meets Aksel, played by Anders Danielson Lie, a cartoonist about 10 years her senior and falls in love. The love and the eventual disconnect feel very real. She aslo meets and falls for Eivind, as played by Herbert Nordrum, a casual and sweet guy closer to her age. Relationships end and begin. Lives abruptly come to a close. Expectations fall through. It all seems so drifting and aimless so what can we possibly do about it? Force it? At best we can only hope for peace with however it goes. Trier’s third in his “Oslo” trilogy sets an illuminating spotlight on the romance of a certain generation and it’s as unsettling as it is sweet. It sure hit a little too close to home for our hosts. This feels like it could have taken place anywhere in the western world. Oh, look! We found a link but click it while it’s there. It might not be soon: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x92wuh2

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We’re in our last stretch of September’s theme of EUROPEAN VACATION and we’re broke as fuck now. We spent way too much money in France on wine, cigarettes and food cooked in heavy cream and now we’ve come back to postwar Italy and we got to get a job. But we need a bike. When it comes to representing poverty on film Vittorio De Sica’s 1948 film “THE BICYCLE THIEF” (or “BICYCLE THIEVES”) stands among the absolute best. Antonio needs his bike back from hock so he can get a gig hanging Rita Hayworth posters, but first we gotta sell the bedsheets to get the bike back. Ok we got the bike but GODDAMMIT SOME KID STOLE IT! Antonio and his son, Bruno, scour markets and churches in a race against time. Desperation and rage against a community that is truly no better off than you are. What can this man do to feed his family? How far is he willing to go with his back against the wall? Surely, he finds a way? Right? Here’s your link to this Italian classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQkDYXzsHJE

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This is our last stop for French movies this month and the last of our most romantic week under September’s EUROPEAN VACATION theme. This movie bounces around from France to Spain and is one of the most bizarre romantic comedies out there. Pretty impressive for any director to hit it like this at the age of 80 but Luis Buñuel was a different breed. Fernando Rey plays a well-to-do widower who falls for a poor but beautiful 19 year old who lives with her mother. His obsessions overwhelm him as everything seems to be going spectacularly except he just can’t get that one thing that many men want. Despite that they can’t seem to keep away from each other. This woman seems so subtle and elegant or then again maybe she’s actually sultry and emotive? It’s like she’s two different people and why does she hang out with those street boys? Is she really a virgin? We’re discussing Luis Buñuel’s final film, the 1977 romantic comedy, “THAT OBSCURE OBJECT OF DESIRE” starring Fernando Rey and most notably featuring Carole Bouquet and Angela Molina both playing the female lead, “Conchita”. Also featuring terrorism! This is probably peak “domestic violence in a comedy” that we will probably ever get. Not saying it’s played for laughs but maybe that’s what wealthy middle aged European men will do when they don’t actually get to sleep with the young woman in the movie. Such chastitiy is a rare occurrence in these Euro flicks.

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A few more Frenchies this week as we hit peak romance for September’s theme of EUROPEAN VACATION and when it comes to French New Wave, today’s discussion is amongst the most infamous. Jean-Luc Godard’s 1960 international hit “BREATHLESS” helped set a standard in style at a time when the filmgoing world was hungry for more international flair. Like a few other movies we cover this month, it represents a distinct point in the global recognition of European film. The chemistry between Jean Seberg & Jean-Paul Belmondo is out of this world. Belmondo’s character of Michel sees it too. He calls Seberg’s Patricia a martian at one point. A romance so bright that it makes you forget that you’re watching a crime movie and that this dude is a car thief who killed a cop. They’re not fated to be together but we can still revel in the feelings they have for one another. Living. Dying. They look cool either way. A lot has been said about this iconic film and the ease of Belomndo’s performance and the shine of Jean Seberg. With Seberg it’s hard not to speak of her tragic life that our tax dollars helped destroy. Look that shit up. Here’s  a link to the film: https://archive.org/details/breathless-1960

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We’re backpacking across Europe all month long and we’ve been circling back around to France for weeks now. What can we say? France loves their movies. We’ve even got a couple of movies this month that are French movies whose directors aren’t even French. For today’s French feature we’re gonna get a little dirty like some stinky muskrats on the banks of the Seine. It’s the river barge life for a newlywed couple who live their lives on a barge with an old Salty Crewman, a Cabin Boy and about 20 cats. Seems like a fun romantic adventure for a hot second until you smell the cabin. How you gonna keep a girl on the farm after she’s been to town? How you gonna keep a girl in town after she’s seen a barge? How you gonna keep a girl on the barge after she’s seen ‘Ol Gay Paree? We discuss Jean Vigo’s final film from his all-too-short life. The 1934 romantic comedy “L’ATALANTE” moves along dreamily and displays a sense of love and passion that really isn’t as common in film as you want it to be. Great character acting and genuine laughs. You can see its foundational roots in French cinema. Here’s a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYYjXTiK-R4

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Boy did we miss a golden opportunity the last time it fell on a Friday the 13th because the last one was during October. Maybe we should have done this then but we were grinding for Halloween Humpfest and we didn’t think about it. Today marks our first Friday the 13th since that time and we think it’s a good time to do another 6-Pack movie review. We’re diving into another spooky franchise whose tragic slasher has grown into a horror icon. It’s Friday the 13th so we’re discussing first first half of the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise. We’re covering: FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980), FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (1981), FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 (1982), FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER (1984), FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING (1985) and FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES (1986). Horny young adults are getting gutted but is it really Jason Voorhees fault? Is he in control? Why must this poor boy suffer unless…he’s not “of Hell” at all but an agent of God sent to punish promiscuous teenagers and young adults? We got some theories on this prolific slasher. This franchise also features the likes of Kevin Bacon, Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman in early roles. The next Friday the 13th comes around this December where we will finish up the latter half of the franchise. Until then, let’s talk about how it all starts. That poor Ms. Voorhees. She kind of had a point. There was no justice for her poor child.

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