A lovely afternoon out on Day Release with your favourite crew - You, the people you get paid to protect, and various Police. Make sure you catered enough subway style sandwiches and RC Colas, because this could be the spontaneous group sex event you were waiting for, and group sex events don't happen without catering. 

The only way to end the year is with a song! Get it and we'll see you next time.

It's Christmas so you get double of everything, whether you like it or not! This is way too aggressive but I just fell down a hill, which is one of my special interests.

Sophie edited this one, that's why it sucks! Haha nah. My new years resolution is to be more of an unneccessary jerk to everyone but offset it by smelling a lot better.

It's Hot Now Finally so I'm going to go swim. Write your own god dam episode description. Then please send it to [email protected] and I'll update the form data.

Go get wet you beautiful pigs

You re-emerge from the treeline, dirty and exultant. A late-afternoon-leisurely-walk through the countryside gone wrong; It was a week ago when you began licking the sap off the bark. You've changed names and personality since then. Enter the workplace with your new found rusticism, or die in transit from complications caused by the city-born pathogens.

Make the best of a mid thing, and no complaining. There are starving children in rural Ethiopia who would love to be able to listen to all the podcasts you do. Be grateful and never, ever hold your favourite creators accountable. For anything.

A late, late, late lunch. On a different day even. When the restaurant is closed. And the friend you were going to meet for a meal died years ago in a boating accident. 

A journal entry you found in an abandoned boatshed, on a springtime ramble you turned into a forage.

An Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response to being pushed down a stair case.

In the words of Trent Reznor - "I hurt myself today/to see if I still feel" - and in the words of Sophie Ellis-Bextor - "Why does it feel so good?"