In this episode I talk about how I don’t think anxiety was even a thing growing up in L.A. in the seventies, how my husband leaving me triggered something inside me and brought me right back to my childhood and how gaining more of an appreciation of how my mind works has allowed anxiety to have less control over me. You can follow my blog at mymessylittlelife.com.

In this episode I talk about how the three little words “how are you” can be so complicated, how I didn’t want anyone to think I was too happy or too sad and how because my husband died by suicide I was afraid to raise any red flags. You can follow my blog at mymessylittlelife.com.

In this episode I talk about why I was drinking and how alcohol started to consume so much space, misconceptions about what an alcoholic looks like and why I continue to choose not to drink. You can follow my blog and contact me at mymessylittlelife.com.

In this episode I talk about watching a family video from before my husband died, how I struggle with finding a balance between what feels like self care and what feels like avoiding my life and the judgment I was having for myself for needing to rest. You can follow my blog and contact me at mymessylittlelife.com.

In this episode I talk about how isolating grief can be, how resisting my emotions would result in panic attacks and how much I relate to Christina Applegate’s character in Dead to Me. I also read my blog post, “Other Widows Don’t Feel This Way.” You can follow my blog and contact me at mymessylittlelife.com.

In this episode I talk about how I never really learned to trust myself, deciding who I want to be now that my husband is gone and how I make myself a priority to show myself that I matter. I also share my blog post Survival Mode. You can follow my blog at mymessylittlelife.com.

In this episode I talk about the stigma around suicide, how I respond when someone asks me how my husband died and how I was able to turn my anger into empathy. I also read my blog post, The “S” Word. You can follow my blog at mymessylittlelife.com.

In this episode I talk about how my husband and I met, common misconceptions about addiction and alcoholism, the events leading up to Brian’s death and why I choose to tell my story. You can follow my blog at mymessylittlelife.com.