What if the fear of rejection is actually a fear of being fully seen?

In this poetic and soul-searching episode, author and spoken word artist Arielle Estoria opens up about what it means to grow beyond who the world expects you to be—and how devastating, liberating, and cyclical that journey can be.

Best known for her viral Arielle Estoria poems, her book The Unfolding, and her ability to speak straight to the soul, Arielle shares the deeply personal story behind her own “unfolding.” She discusses the grief of leaving behind old identities, the risk of becoming someone new, and the human need for belonging—especially when you no longer fit the roles that once made you feel loved.

We talk about how her relationship with her husband gave her the courage to question inherited beliefs, why creativity is a core value in her life, and what it means to trade approval for truth. Whether you're in the middle of your own unfolding story or afraid to let go of the identity you’ve outgrown, this conversation is a balm for anyone who's ever felt the sting of having no sense of belonging.

What We Cover:

• The awakening: What it feels like to outgrow the life that once felt safe

• How Arielle’s husband became a catalyst for growth and authenticity

• Grief as part of growth: What we don’t talk about when we talk about becoming

• Letting go of people, labels, and spaces that no longer reflect who you are

• Why creativity as a value is about healing, not performance

• The cost of honesty: Losing gigs, friends, and familiarity—and choosing truth anyway

• What it means to rewrite your “too much” narrative

• How her book The Unfolding and her album The Art of Unfolding were created for her own healing first

• The one Arielle Estoria quote every creator needs to hear

• How rejection became redirection—and why the work always finds who it’s meant for

• Using art to create belonging, not applause

• Why even non-artists can use creativity for healing

Quotes That Hit Hard:

💬 "I’d rather have friends who love me whole than love me half."
💬 "That’s the old story. Now, what’s the new one?"
💬 "Creativity is not about sounding good—it’s about speaking soul to soul."
💬 "Rejection isn’t a dead end. Sometimes, it’s a reroute to yourself."

Chapters:

00:00 – Intro
01:30 – Awakening vs autopilot living
04:45 – How her husband gave her permission to explore
08:30 – The grief of growing and letting go
12:00 – Rejection, community loss, and spiritual dissonance
15:10 – Redefining self-worth and belonging
18:20 – How Arielle Estoria poems became a healing practice
22:45 – Why her writing isn’t for the ears—but for the soul
26:10 – Her response to low book sales and how she redefined success
30:45 – Can anyone access healing through art? (Yes.)
35:00 – The raw vulnerability of publishing your truth
40:00 – What rejection taught her about audience, ego, and trust
43:00 – Rewriting the unfolding story in real time

Resources:

• 📚 Arielle Estoria books: The Unfolding

• 🎧 The Art of Unfolding – Spoken word album (Spotify, Apple Music, etc.)

• 🔗 Website: www.arielleestoria.com

• 📲 Instagram: @arielleestoria

Why does book rejection feel so personal—so final? Why does a book rejection letter have the power to stall a project for years, even when the idea still matters? And how do some authors seem to land book deals—sometimes before the book is even written—while others stay stuck in endless rejection cycles?

In this episode of My Rejection Story, Alice is joined by Allison Lane, founder of Allison Lane Literary, a former PR executive turned book strategist who has helped every one of her clients land an agent and secure a book publishing deal. Together, they unpack what rejection in the publishing world actually means—and why it’s rarely about your worth, talent, or intelligence.

Allison reframes rejection as a strategic signal, not a dead end. Drawing from decades in PR, brand strategy, and publishing, she explains why most aspiring authors misunderstand how the industry works, why writing the full book too early can actually hurt your chances, and how to become “book rejection proof” by thinking like a business—not a hopeful artist waiting for approval.

Throughout the conversation, Alice and Allison explore how childhood rejection, shame, and trauma shape creative ambition, why nonfiction books are sold on proposal (not passion), and how authors can learn how to get a book deal with no money, without an agent, or before writing the book—if they understand the real rules of the game.

In this episode, they explore:

• Why book publishing rejection is usually a signal—not a verdict

• What a book rejection letter is actually telling you (and what it’s not)

• How to deal with rejection when writing books without losing momentum

• How to get a book deal without an agent—and when an agent actually matters

• How to get a book deal with a publisher by pitching the idea, not the manuscript

• Why nonfiction authors should learn how to get a book deal before writing the book

• How to get a book publishing deal by widening—not narrowing—your audience

• Why “being good” isn’t what sells books, and what does

• How authors with small platforms still land major deals (including lessons from Allison Lane books and clients)

Rather than romanticizing rejection or offering empty encouragement, this episode gives listeners a clear-eyed look at the publishing ecosystem—where books are products, authors are brands, and rejection is part of the filtering process, not a personal failure.

If you’ve ever asked yourself how do you get a book deal? or how can I get a book deal without burning years on the wrong strategy? this conversation will fundamentally change how you approach publishing—and rejection itself.

Connect with Allison Lane:
Website: https://lanelit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allisonlanelit/

Chapters

00:00 Rejection as Redirection—and Why Publishing “No’s” Aren’t Dead Ends
03:30 Saying Yes Early: Why Idealism Can Quietly Stall Creative Careers
08:45 What PR Teaches You About Pitching—and Why Most Book Pitches Fail
13:30 ADHD, Trauma, and Why Rejection Cuts Deeper for Some Creators
18:00 Shame, Silence, and the Stories We’re Afraid to Write
23:00 Why Some People Grow After Trauma—and Others Get Stuck
27:30 Imposter Syndrome, Ambition, and the Fear of Being Left Behind
32:00 Standing Out Without Credentials: How Alison Learned to Be Unignorable
37:00 Why Writing the Full Book First Is a Mistake in Nonfiction
41:00 How Publishers Actually Decide Which Books to Buy
46:00 The Myth of “Too Niche” vs. the Reality of Audience Expansion
51:00 Why Books Don’t Sell Because They’re Good—and What Actually Makes Them Sell
56:00 Becoming the Marketer of Your Own Book (Without Doing Everything)
01:00:30 Building a Platform Before the Book—and Why Timing Matters
01:02:00 Final Thoughts: Becoming Book-Rejection-Proof and Taking Action

What does it actually mean when someone cuts off their family — and why does family estrangement provoke such intense reactions from the outside world?

In this short solo episode, Alice uses the recent public fallout involving Brooklyn Beckham, David Beckham, and Victoria Beckham as a cultural moment to explore family rejection and estrangement, one of the most misunderstood — and stigmatized — forms of rejection.

Rather than speculating about who is right or wrong in the Beckham situation, Alice explains why public stories about family conflict are almost always incomplete. She unpacks why family estrangement in adulthood can be both a necessary act of self-protection and an emotionally devastating loss — and why outsiders often rush to assign blame when an adult child cuts contact with their parents.

Drawing directly from Psychology Today research, this episode breaks down what family estrangement actually is, why adult children most often initiate it, and why it’s frequently confused with family alienation or scapegoating. Alice also explores why family estrangement stories — especially high-profile ones like the Brooklyn Beckham situation — trigger such strong emotional reactions, moral judgments, and assumptions about loyalty.

In this episode, Alice explains:

• What family estrangement really means, based on psychological research

• Why estrangement usually unfolds slowly over years, not suddenly or impulsively

• The most common reasons adult children experience family rejection, including emotional abuse, neglect, and clashes of values

• The difference between family estrangement and family alienation — and why black-and-white thinking can signal unresolved harm rather than clarity

• Why family estrangement carries so much stigma, shame, and social judgment

• What research shows about how long family estrangement typically lasts, and why reconciliation isn’t always possible — or healthy

• Why people are so uncomfortable with the idea that someone might need distance from their family to protect their mental health

Alice also addresses why public speculation about the Brooklyn Beckham feud — including assumptions about control, loyalty, and marriage — reflects broader cultural discomfort with family estrangement and rejection trauma, rather than any real understanding of what happens behind closed doors.

This episode is not about celebrity gossip.
It’s about family estrangement, rejection, boundaries, and the psychological toll of being misunderstood when the people who are supposed to love you become unsafe.

If you’ve ever struggled to understand why someone would estrange themselves from their family — or if you’ve lived through family rejection and felt judged, dismissed, or forced to justify your decision — this episode offers clarity without blame.

Resources mentioned:

Psychology Today — Family Estrangement (Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/family-dynamics/family-estrangement

Fern Schumer Chapman, What Research Tells Us About Family Estrangement (2024)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202402/statistics-that-tell-the-story-of-family-estrangement

Calling Home podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calling-home-with-whitney-goodman-lmft/id1706820976

Chapters:

00:00 Why the Brooklyn Beckham Story Triggered Such a Strong Reaction
02:00 Why We Don’t Actually Know What’s Happening Inside That Family
04:00 What Family Estrangement Is — and What It Isn’t
06:00 Why Adult Children Cut Off Parents
08:00 Estrangement vs. Alienation: Complexity vs. Black-and-White Thinking
10:30 Why Family Estrangement Is So Stigmatized
13:00 How Long Estrangement Lasts — and Whether Reconciliation Is Possible
15:00 Final Thoughts: Why Family Rejection Is One of the Hardest Losses to Explain

Why does rejection feel so threatening—sometimes even more destabilizing than physical danger? Why does losing approval, status, or belonging shake our confidence so deeply? And why does the fear of rejection seem impossible to fully “heal” or outgrow?

In this episode of My Rejection Story, Alice is joined by Jeremy Sherman, an evolution and social science researcher who studies the origins of life, human behavior, and what he calls the “black market of confidence.” Together, they explore rejection not as a psychological flaw—but as a survival mechanism rooted deep in human evolution.

Jeremy challenges the idea that rejection hurts simply because of brain wiring or trauma. Instead, he reframes rejection as a threat to confidence itself—something humans have always needed to stay alive, belong to groups, and navigate danger. With language, imagination, and social comparison layered on top of biology, humans became uniquely vulnerable to rejection in ways no other species is.

Throughout the conversation, Alice and Jeremy unpack why confidence operates like a scarce resource, why humans quietly compete for affirmation while pretending they don’t need it, and why attempts to “solve” rejection often miss the point entirely.

In this episode, they explore:

Why fear of rejection didn’t evolve for happiness—but for survival
How humans operate in a constant “black market” of confidence and affirmation
Why language and imagination make rejection more destabilizing for humans than animals
The evolutionary trade-off between visibility, status, and danger
Why confidence feels abundant until it disappears—and why we panic when it does
Why there may be no permanent cure for fear of rejection, only ways to live with it more honestly

Rather than offering tidy solutions, this episode invites listeners to sit with paradox: the need for confidence, the inevitability of rejection, and the freedom that comes from recognizing that this tension is part of being human—not evidence that something is wrong with you.

If you’ve ever wondered why rejection feels existential, why confidence feels fragile, or why approval seems to matter more than logic says it should, this conversation will leave you thinking—and possibly relieved that the struggle isn’t personal.

Connect with Jeremy:

TRYING BEINGS Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjH_fBN6aQQ0uw5324tSrcg?view_as=subscriber

Instagram: instagram.com/jeremyshermanphd/?hl=en

Chapters

00:00 Why Rejection Feels Like a Survival Threat
02:00 Introducing Jeremy Sherman and a New Way to Think About Rejection
06:00 Confidence as a Scarce Resource—and a Black Market
11:00 Language, Imagination, and Why Humans Fear Rejection So Deeply
18:00 Why Confidence Feels Stable—Until It Disappears
26:00 The Evolutionary Trade-Off Between Visibility and Safety
34:00 Why There Is No Permanent Cure for Fear of Rejection
43:00 Aging, Status Loss, and the Fear of Becoming Invisible
52:00 Purpose, Community, and What Happens When Roles End
01:02:00 Final Thoughts: Living With Rejection, Not Solving It

In this episode, ADHD thought leader, author, and host of the Tracy Otsuka podcast joins Alice for a conversation about identity, rejection, and the quiet conditioning that teaches so many women to shrink. Drawing from her own story and the research behind learned helplessness psychology, Tracy explains why women with ADHD are especially vulnerable to internalizing criticism — and how those early messages of “you’re too much,” “you’re not enough,” “you’re disorganized,” shape a lifetime of self-doubt.

Tracy breaks down the learned helplessness meaning in practical terms: the moment you stop trying because every attempt has been shut down. She shares learned helplessness examples from childhood socialization, school environments, and relationships where girls are punished for intuition, sensitivity, and non-linear thinking. And she clarifies the difference between weaponized incompetence vs learned helplessness — one is manipulation, the other is survival.

She also explains the neuroscience behind why ADHD brains shut down during rejection, why emotional flooding sends the prefrontal cortex offline, and how that creates a cycle of avoidance, fear, and stalled decision-making. Tracy and Alice explore the overlap between learned helplessness and depression, how masking becomes a default for ADHD women, and why regaining a sense of agency begins with identity, not productivity hacks.

This conversation is for anyone who’s ever felt stuck, ashamed, or convinced they “can’t trust their brain.” For anyone wondering how to explain the concept of learned helplessness to themselves or others, or why learned helplessness ADHD patterns can be reversed with intention, identity work, and small acts of self-trust. Tracy reminds us that the opposite of helplessness isn’t perfection — it’s action, built one decision at a time.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re living someone else’s version of your life, or if you want to understand why ADHD women struggle despite being intuitive, brilliant, and highly capable, this episode is a must-listen. Tracy’s work — through her coaching, her Tracy Otsuka book, and her learned helplessness podcast conversations — offers a blueprint for reclaiming your agency and building an identity rooted in who you truly are.

Resources & Links:

• Tracy’s book: ADHD for Smart Ass Women

• Tracy’s podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass Women

  Website & Programs: ADHDforSmartWomen.com

In this powerful mini replay, positive psychology practitioner and author Jodi Wellman joins Alice for a conversation about mortality, motivation, and the brave work of actually living our lives instead of waiting for the perfect moment. Jodi — known for her viral TED Talk, her book You Only Die Once, and her work at Four Thousand Mondays — explains why death is a great motivator, and why many of us need the uncomfortable truth of our finiteness to finally stop procrastinating the things that matter most.

Jodi shares how her mother’s early death shaped her philosophy, and why the reminder you are dying isn’t morbid — it’s honest. She breaks down the psychological insight behind death as motivation, the research that shows we act more boldly when we acknowledge our limits, and why “there’s no greater motivator than death” when we’re stuck in fear.

From reloading a stapler in a corporate job she knew she’d outgrown, to making the leap into coaching, to leaving a successful business partnership to build 4000 Mondays, Jodi explains how we can recognize the moment when procrastination turns into self-betrayal — and how to reclaim our agency before regret piles up.

This episode is for anyone who keeps waiting to feel confident, ready, or “better” before making a move; for anyone asking is death a good motivator? or wondering why fear feels louder than desire. Jodi’s answer is simple: motivation rarely arrives. We create it by acting.

If you’ve ever needed a reminder that your Mondays are ticking down, that your dreams won’t wait, or that you only die once, this conversation will wake you up in the best possible way.

Resources & Links

• Book: You Only Die Once https://www.amazon.com/You-Only-Die-Once-Regrets/dp/0316574279

• Website: https://fourthousandmondays.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fourthousandmondays/?hl=en

  TED Talk: Jodi Wellman on how facing death helps us live, https://www.ted.com/embed/jodi_wellman_how_death_can_bring_you_back_to_life

Why does rejection hurt so intensely — even when the relationship was brief, online, or never fully real? Why do some rejections destabilize your entire sense of self while others barely register? In this solo episode, Alice breaks down exactly what rejection does to a person, why you may be taking rejection so hard, and how to recover with science-backed compassion.

Alice opens with a story from early 2020: a fast, dopamine-fueled pandemic connection with someone she never met — and the emotional crash that followed when it abruptly ended. If you’ve ever wondered “why am I so hurt by rejection?”, “why do I get so hurt by rejection?” or “what does constant rejection do to a person?”, her experience will feel uncannily familiar.

Blending neuroscience and psychology, Alice explains:

• How rejection affects the brain, including why social rejection activates the same neural pathways as physical pain

• How rejection makes you feel overwhelmed, foggy, or obsessive, and why these reactions are biological, not personal failures

• Why you might handle rejection so badly, especially when fantasy, intensity, and uncertainty fuel attachment

• How rejection affects mental health, including stress responses, rumination, and emotional dysregulation

• How rejection can affect self-esteem and identity, even when the relationship was short or never fully formed

• What constant rejection does to a person over time, and how it erodes confidence and connection

Alice also unpacks the psychology of idealization, intermittent reinforcement, imagined futures, and the collapse of emotional safety — offering a grounded explanation for why some rejections hurt more than “real” breakups.

Finally, she shares practical, evidence-based tools to help you rebuild resilience, calm your nervous system, and stop interpreting rejection as proof of inadequacy.

If you’ve ever asked yourself “why am I taking rejection so hard?”, “why do I handle rejection so badly?” or “what does rejection do to a person?”, this episode will help you understand your reactions — and give you a path to healing that doesn’t blame you for being human.

Resources:

Alice's Refinery29 article:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2021/04/10403226/get-over-someone-you-never-dated

Eisenberger et al., 2003: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14551436
Eisenberger, 2012: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3273616
Kross et al., 2011: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3076808
Allen & Leary, 2010: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2914331
Koch, 2020: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01973533.2020.1726748
Beato et al., 2021: https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/4/2017
Stutts et al., 2022: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10653232
Baumeister et al., 2002: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11881675
Shields et al., 2016: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27474311
Fisher et al., 2010: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3612400
Hazan & Shaver, 1987 summary: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1988-13004-001

Chapters

00:00 Why Rejection Hurts More Than Logic Can Explain
02:00 Alice’s Story: A Pandemic Connection That Felt Real
05:00 How Rejection Affects the Brain Like Physical Pain
08:00 Why Rejection Makes You Spiral, Ruminate & Obsess
11:00 Dopamine, Fantasy & Why You Get Attached So Fast
14:00 What Constant Rejection Does to a Person
17:00 How Rejection Impacts Mental Health & Self-Esteem
20:00 Why Some Rejections Hit Harder Than Real Breakups
23:00 Tools for Recovery: Self-Compassion, Reframing & Regulation
27:00 Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken — You’re Human

In this episode, multicultural marketing strategist and founder of aam creative, Afshan Nasseri, joins Alice to unpack a quietly growing crisis among expats: the rise of loneliness in Dubai and the emotional reality of why it’s hard to make friends as an adult. Whether you’ve just moved to the UAE, you’re struggling to build community, or you feel disconnected despite being surrounded by people, Afshan brings language to something so many feel but rarely admit.

Afshan’s story spans Boston, Montreal, India, Iran, and now Dubai. She grew up in a home overflowing with culture, community, and connection—yet found herself starting from zero when she moved here. From questioning who she could call when things went wrong to navigating a social landscape that can feel transactional, Afshan shares the truth most expats whisper only to themselves.

If you’ve ever wondered how to make new friends as an adult, why Dubai can feel emotionally isolating even when it’s exciting, or what it actually takes to build deeper relationships here, this episode will resonate deeply.

Afshan walks Alice through:

• Why so many people in Dubai feel lonely even when they “shouldn’t”

• How transient expat culture erodes community-building instincts

• The difference between coffee friends vs. friends you can rely on

• Why adult friendship requires intentional vulnerability—and why that feels risky

• How making friends in Dubai often requires going first, being open, and allowing others in

• The cultural pressures that make people hide their loneliness, especially in appearance-driven cities

• What Afshan learned from teaching in rural India at 14—and how that shaped her identity today

• How her multicultural upbringing led to founding aam creative and advocating for authentic representation

• Why showing up unfiltered online unexpectedly helped her form deeper offline friendships

• How to spot the early signs of people you can build real connection with in Dubai

Afshan also speaks candidly about the fear of being judged, the myth that everyone else has a thriving social circle, and the surprising truth: almost everyone is looking for meaningful connection… they’re just waiting for someone to go first.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating expat life, rebuilding their social world from scratch, or trying to understand why adulthood friendships require more courage—and more honesty—than we ever expected.

Resources & Links
📸 Instagram: @afshannasseri
🌐 AAM Creative: https://www.aamcreative.co/

In this episode, high-conflict divorce strategist and advocate Lisa Johnson joins Alice to unpack one of the most overwhelming and destabilizing experiences anyone can face: navigating divorce with a narcissist. Whether you're trying to divorce a narcissistic husband, divorce a narcissist wife, or find your footing after divorce after abusive marriage, Lisa offers clarity that is both deeply validating and strategically life-saving.

Lisa’s story is astonishing: a 20-year relationship built on hidden lives and deception, a $100,000 divorce in year one, and nearly a decade of court battles where she eventually represented herself more than 100 times. Her testimony even helped pass Jennifer’s Law, expanding Connecticut’s legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control.

If you’ve ever wondered what actually happens when you divorce a narcissist, why a narcissist during divorce behaves in ways that defy logic, or how to survive divorce mediation with a narcissist who lies, gaslights, and retaliates, this episode will finally make the chaos make sense.

Lisa walks Alice through:

• The early grooming patterns that pull intelligent, grounded people into unhealthy bonds

• Why those coming from religious environments face a unique layer of shame — especially in Christian divorce narcissist situations where community pressure insists you “stay no matter what”

• How coercive control erodes your authority, self-trust, and sense of reality

• What to expect in a divorce trial with a narcissis

• The psychological fallout of emotional abuse divorce, including the self-blame, shock, and confusion that linger long after the separation

• How to protect your children if you must divorce a narcissist with kids or divorce an abuser with kids,

• What to do if you’ve ended up with a divorce attorney narcissist who escalates conflict instead of reducing it

Lisa also reveals the hidden truth about high-conflict separation: the moment you leave is statistically the most dangerous.

She offers a grounded path forward for anyone attempting to divorce a narcissist husband, divorce a narcissist wife, or rebuild themselves after decades of coercive control. She explains why you must be strategic—not emotional—and why the goal is not to “win,” but to get out with your sanity and safety intact.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating divorce after abusive marriage, preparing for divorcing an abusive husband, or trying to understand how to make it out of a high-conflict situation with clarity, protection, and a plan.

Resources & Links

🌐 Find Lisa Johnson: https://beentheregotout.com
📘 Been There, Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances
📘 Been There, Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You
🧠 Legal Abuse Support Group, Courses & Strategic Communication Training
📸 Instagram: @been_there_got_out

Chapters:

00:00 Lisa’s Story: A 20-Year Marriage Built on Secrets

02:00 How Smart People End Up in Abusive Dynamics

05:30 Coercive Control, Grooming & Denial

08:10 Faith Communities & Christian Divorce Narcissist Pressures

11:30 Emotional Abuse Divorce: The Invisible Damage

15:00 When You Divorce a Narcissist: Why Everything Escalates

18:40 Divorce a Narcissistic Husband / Divorce a Narcissist Wife

22:00 Narcissist Divorce Strategy: Money, Kids, Court

25:20 Divorce Mediation With a Narcissist: What Actually Works

28:00 Divorce an Abuser With Kids: Safety, Threats & Manipulation

31:10 Divorce a Narcissist With Kids: Protecting Them From Loyalty Warfare

34:00 When Your Divorce Attorney Narcissist Makes Things Worse

38:00 Divorce Trial With a Narcissist: Reality vs Fantasy

41:40 Building Your Team (Therapist, DV Center, Strategist, Attorney)

45:10 Leaving Safely: Exit Planning & Community Resources

48:00 Negotiating Without Feeding Their Ego or Rage

51:00 Divorce After Abusive Marriage: Rebuilding Yourself

55:00 Lisa’s Resources for Anyone in High-Conflict Divorce

In this episode, human relations professor and author Dr. Sterlin Mosley joins Alice to break down one of the most confusing and destabilizing experiences anyone can face: what happens when you reject a narcissist — romantically, sexually, emotionally, or otherwise.

If you’ve ever wondered how to reject a narcissist safely, what narcissists do when you reject them, or why even highly intelligent people end up trapped in cycles of love bombing, self-doubt, and psychological whiplash, this conversation is going to hit with startling clarity.

Sterlin opens with a statistic that flips the entire narrative on its head: while official numbers say 1–2% of people have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the real number of people with significant narcissistic traits is likely closer to 8–10%. From there, he explains why NPD is so often undiagnosed, how narcissists take rejection, and why denial (“I’m not a narcissist!”) is often the most predictable response.

Alice and Sterlin go deep into the relational fallout of setting boundaries — including when you reject a narcissist hoover and they attempt to pull you back, when you reject a narcissist sexually, and why narcissists often escalate, punish, or retaliate when their supply is cut off. Sterlin also breaks down the neurology behind the love bombing narcissist meaning — why it feels euphoric, addictive, and impossible to leave — and what to do when you're involved with a love bombing narcissist husband, partner, parent, or friend.

For listeners dealing with covert narcissists, Sterlin explains why covert personalities are harder to identify, how they use vulnerability as manipulation, and how to reject a covert narcissist without getting caught in the guilt–shame–blame cycle.

Most importantly, Sterlin offers grounded, non-sensationalized guidance on the best way to reject a narcissist, the emotional withdrawal that follows, and how to rebuild honesty, clarity, and safety in your own body again.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone in a confusing relationship, navigating the aftermath of narcissistic rejection, or trying to understand why even the strongest people can get trapped in dynamics that erode their confidence, intuition, and well-being. It’s for anyone who’s ever wondered: If you reject a narcissist, what happens next — and how do you protect yourself in the process?

Resources & Links

🌐 Explore Dr. Sterlin Mosley’s work at http://sterlinmosley.com/
📚 Read Center of the Universe: https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/center-of-the-universe-9781538186435/
📰 Subscribe to Sterlin’s Substack for deeper case studies and essays on narcissism: https://substack.com/@sterlinmosley

Chapters

00:00 Why So Many Narcissists Go Undiagnosed
02:00 What Happens When You Reject a Narcissist
05:00 Do Narcissists Deny Being a Narcissist?
08:20 Why the DSM Gets Narcissism Wrong
11:40 How Narcissists Take Rejection in Relationships
14:00 The Reality of Rejecting a Covert Narcissist
18:10 “Love Bombing” Explained — Neurology, Addiction & Fantasy
22:30 When You Reject a Narcissist Sexually
25:00 What to Do When You Reject a Narcissist After Betrayal
28:40 The Narcissistic Hoover: Why They Pull You Back
32:00 The Best Way to Reject a Narcissist Safely
35:20 Trauma, Armoring & the Roots of Narcissistic Personality
40:00 What Narcissists Do When You Reject Them (and Why)
45:30 Breadcrumbing, Gaslighting, and DARVO
50:00 Rebuilding Reality After Emotional Manipulation
53:10 Why You Blame Yourself — and Why You Shouldn’t
56:30 Choosing Yourself Again
59:00 Sterlin’s Advice for Anyone Living in Narcissistic Chaos