My Top Everything

We're joined by one of our best childhood friends, Anna, as we explore jobs we'd do if they actually paid well. Broached topics: pussona, carte blanche, bangs & banging, jobs for youngest children, Anna's Goldilocks Mountain, I Love You... BUT, North Korean bereavement comedians, Mousegate, federal crimes in spying, A Job Is An Exchange Mara!, vegan taste testing, board game hitmen, and rigged points.

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Apologies for the gender-centric subject of this episode. We'll be sure to roast neutral baby names and baby boy names in the future.

 Broached topics: genital shirts, lobbing it out of the park, Cambian parks, top 50 friends, LadyBirding, quoches, Name Your Daughters Vulva!, cat butthole, pretty diseases, Look it Up or Make it Up, Guess What Mara Means, b-r-o-c-c-o-l-i, George Foreman VI, and the purpose of non-Bible names? 

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Whether it's the toaster that burns every slice no matter the setting, the spider that resides in the corner of our living room, or that one traffic light that always seems to change red when we're running late, we all engage in daily battles with various nemeses. In the podcast, you'll learn ours so that if you ever see us IRL, you can annoy us endlessly. Broached topics: selling our souls through ASMR, starting a pod sans Cara, the difficulty of the word archrival, tarps, Grayson the listmaker, ocean water siphoning, rivers leading to oceans??, long lawn = no bueno for weed basements, retired boners, sanding your facial hair, indistinguishable twins Jen Aniston and Michelle Obama, "appy hour" origins, revenge calculus, Cara's REAL archenemies, podcast betting, and the ever elusive "famous" rival sports teams.

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There are a lot of frustrating TV main characters out there, but these ones really get our goat. And for the first time ever, all three of us have the same person on our list. It's a very special occasion for an especially frustrating lead! Honorable mentions include: 

1. Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiam 

2. George Costanza (aka Larry David), Seinfeld 

3. Seinfeld, Seinfeld 

4. Raymond, Everybody Loves Raymond, 

5. The King from King of Queens, 

6. The King from King of the Hill

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Take a walk on the spooky side this week as we discuss our top 3 *mostly* personal experiences with the paranormal. Strap in for an hour of ghosts, phantoms, mimics, and poltergeists and we'll see if we can make you believe.

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We immediately regretted picking panic attacks as a topic. On the plus side, this episode features amusing hiking stories, tattoos, and general existential dread. 

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What even are vegetables? Turns out, we're not so sure. We thought this was going to be a 40 minute episode, tops. Unexpectedly, we have a lot of feelings about radishes, tubers, whether legumes qualify, if vegetables exist, and red leaf lettuce.

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What are the worst things we've witnessed a kid do? Turns out for Mara, not much. A mild jump scare makes Mara's top 3, Cara watches kids accidentally hurt themselves a lot, and Marian once took care of a serial-killer-to-be. Surprisingly, no one mentions that Marian poops her pants in this episode.

If what you heard about Camp Hantesa from Cara in this episode and it sounds like something you want to support, head on over to https://www.campfireiowa.org/support/donate/.

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In our last episode, we each earned a million dollars by doing something crazy. Now, find out what each of us are going to do with our newfound fortunes! Listen on to hear about fan-fics, mustard, and cattle.

If what you heard about Camp Hantesa from Cara in this episode sounds like something you want to support, head on over to https://www.campfireiowa.org/support/donate/ to let them know it!

Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta for updates! Email us at [email protected] with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.

In this podcast, we answer what's been on every listener's minds... what would we do for a million dollars? If you want to hear about anechoic chambers, Walden, and stray cat stew, then listen on. Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Twitter and Insta for updates! Email us at [email protected] with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.