Myopia Movies

Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies, where we dig through the dusty toy chest of childhood nostalgia to explain colonialism to kids and ask the important question: “Was this actually magical… or did we all just really want to own tiny murder-capable action figures?” This week, we’re cracking open The Indian in the Cupboard — the movie that convinced an entire generation that putting living beings in locked containers was somehow heartwarming family entertainment and a poster that asks, is this child going to eat a tiny man? 

Will the effects hold up?

Probably not.

So grab your magic key, hide your Legos before they gain consciousness, and join us as we revisit one of the most aggressively 1990s “children learn responsibility through ethically horrifying fantasy scenarios” movies ever made. It’s The Indian in the Cupboard.

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Directed by Frank Oz

Starring:

This week on Myopia Movies, we head back to military school where the uniforms are crisp, the cadets are angry, and somehow Chucky has access to live ammunition. It’s Child's Play 3 — the movie that asks, “What if summer camp, toxic masculinity, and a killer doll all collided in the least supervised environment imaginable?”

Join us as we discuss the rapid-fire sequel production schedule, why every adult in this movie seems wildly unconcerned about obvious murders, and the strange energy of turning a slasher franchise into a coming-of-age military academy drama. We also dig into the evolution of Chucky as a horror icon, the accidental comedy of the paintball sequence, and whether this is secretly one of the most aggressively early-90s films ever made.

Plus: weird pervert barbers, carnival death traps, overacting cadets, and the eternal question — why does nobody ever believe the kid about the murder doll?

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We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

Directed by Jack Bender

Starring:

Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies, where we ruin your childhood one VHS tape at a time. This week, we’re stepping into the neon-lit fever dream that is Mannequin — a movie that asks the important question: “What if a department store mannequin came to life… and immediately dated Andrew McCarthy?”

That’s right. It’s the ‘80s, where unemployment was quirky, retail workers had unlimited creative freedom, and absolutely nobody thought to question whether this relationship required psychiatric intervention. Featuring window displays that apparently stop traffic, villainous retail executives who behave like cartoon burglars, and enough synth music to power a mall arcade for a decade, Mannequin is pure Reagan-era fantasy.

We’ll talk about Kim Cattrall somehow making “ancient Egyptian soul trapped in a mannequin” feel completely reasonable, why every department store in movies looked like Studio 54, and whether Hollywood accidentally created the world’s most charming horror premise. Plus: Hollywood Montrose steals the entire movie, James Spader continues his career-long commitment to being a smarmy weirdo, and we try to determine if this film is actually sweet… or just deeply, deeply strange.

So grab your shoulder pads, crank up Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, and join us as we ask the timeless question: does Mannequin hold up… or should it have stayed in the display window?

Directed by Michael Gottlieb

Starring:

This week, we head to the crime-ridden dystopia of Detroit where corporations rule, criminals laugh like maniacs, and the solution to urban decay is… a heavily armed cyborg cop with excellent posture.

Join Nic, Matthew, Keiko, Nur, and Alex as they revisit RoboCop (1987), Paul Verhoeven’s ultraviolent, razor-sharp satire that somehow convinced an entire generation of kids that this was appropriate viewing. We’re asking the important questions:

Along the way, we break down the film’s biting commentary on privatization, media culture, and late-stage capitalism—while also appreciating just how completely unhinged it gets. It’s part Blade Runner, part Die Hard, and part “what if the evening news was written by lunatics?”

Does RoboCop (1987) hold up as a masterpiece of satire, or were our childhood brains just too distracted by explosions to notice the deeper themes?

Dead or alive, you’re listening to this episode.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 

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Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Nur, Keiko

Directed by: Paul Verhoeven

Starring:

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn that the only way to win is not to play. We watched War Games,  a delightful romp about the apocalypse. Ally Sheedy is, like, stooping the whole time to make Matthew Broderick look taller than her, right? 

🎙️ Thanks for listening, subscribing, and supporting the show—see you next episode.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Matthew

Directed by James Badham

Starring: Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, John Wood, Dabney Coleman, Barry Corbin, Juanin Clay, James Tolkan

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch Marvel's own Jarvis/Vision fight to stop AI by trying to stop Johnny Depp. It's not as fun as that sounds. We watched Transcendence (2014), wow this movie can't event decide if AI or Johnny Depp is a bad guy. You'd think people would have an opinion at this point. 

Thanks for listening, subscribing, and supporting the show—see you next episode (assuming this one didn’t break us completely).

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Alex

Directed by Wally Pfister

This week, Myopia Movies kicks off an AI-themed month by diving straight into the bargain bin with A.P.E.X.—a time-traveling, robot-infested mess that wants desperately to be The Terminator and somehow ends up worse than a Power Rangers outtake.

Nick, Matt, and Keiko try to untangle a plot involving killer robots, alternate timelines, a mystery virus, and a scientist who may or may not be responsible for ending humanity… repeatedly. Along the way, they wrestle with nonsensical time travel rules, questionable acting, baffling production choices, and the lingering question: why are they still sending robots?

Is there a good movie hiding somewhere inside A.P.E.X.? Could a few tweaks have made it work? Or is this just pure, uncut 90s sci-fi chaos?

Plus:

Mockbusters before mockbusters were a thing

The economics of bad CGI vs. hiring actual actors

Nostalgia vs. reality (was this ever good?)

And one of the bleakest conclusions yet: a movie so bad… it barely exists

Final verdict: Skip this and just watch literally anything it’s ripping off.

🎙️ Thanks for listening, subscribing, and supporting the show—see you next episode (assuming this one didn’t break us completely).

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Alex

Welcome back to Myopia Movies, where we revisit the films of our youth and ask the important question:

Were these movies actually good… or were we just children?

And today—Oh boy.

In honor of the release of Super Mario Galaxy, today we are revisiting Super Mario Bros. from 1993.

A film that answers the question no one asked:

“What if a beloved Nintendo property… was filtered through cyberpunk dystopia, industrial sludge, and Goombas that look like they escaped a low-budget episode of Doctor Who?”

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Jeremy

Directed by:

Starring:

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch yet another Jurassic Park/World Movie! Who will attempt to act with this idiotic script? Is this the dumbest new dino yet? Was it worth it to save this family? Why do we keep doing this?

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We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

Host: Nic 

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Alex

Directed by Gareth Edwards

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ed Skrein

This week on Myopia Movies, we plug directly into the algorithmic void with one of the most expensive “what happened here?” movies in recent memory: The Electric State (2025).

This is the kind of film that looks incredible in still images—rusted robots, abandoned highways, that eerie retro-future aesthetic—and yet somehow feels completely hollow once it starts moving. It’s all vibes, no voltage. The bones of something interesting are there, but the movie never quite figures out what it wants to be: a heartfelt road story? A dystopian warning? A quirky robot adventure? Yes. And also… not really any of them.

And look, you’ve got Millie Bobby Brown doing everything she can to ground the film, and Chris Pratt doing his usual charm-forward routine. Nobody here is phoning it in. But the script feels like it was assembled by committee, filtered through three different tones, and then sanded down until nothing sharp—or memorable—remains.

Which, in a weird way, makes it perfect for us.

Because this is exactly the kind of movie that should work. The pedigree is there. The budget is there. The source material is there. And yet… here we are.

So grab your neural headset, hop in your broken-down robot companion, and join us as we wander through one of the most visually striking and emotionally confusing movies of the year.

And the best part?

We’re just getting started.

God help us.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! 

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Jeremy

Directed by: Anthony & Joe Russo

Starring:

Millie Bobby Brown

Chris Pratt

Ke Huy Quan

Giancarlo Esposito

Stanley Tucci