Nargles and other Nonsense

The hags are finally talking about one of the most polarizing characters in the Harry Potter Universe. Maybe the most polarizing in the whole universe. We've dedicated two podcasts to the one and only, Severus Snape. This is Part I.

Part I is all about Snape's fact file. Emphasis on FACTS. It's just a little refresher about his childhood and the role he played in the books. This podcast is impartial, soooo impartial. We only argue over his teaching style (he's not a good teacher, okay). And then we argue about who the Fuck Marry Kill characters should be (hint: they're Outlander characters). Next week, you can listen to see if we think Snape is a hero or a villain and if we like him or not. (We don't).

Thank you for listening! Let us know what you think of Snape so we can have a podcast responding to your thoughts!

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This week we're celebrating Independence Day in America. You know what that means. This podcast we'll be drinking beer, ASMR eating corn on the cob while playing Cornhole, and then lighting off fireworks until we lose a finger. Just kidding. But we are talking about wizards in America. Even if you don't celebrate the fourth, we've got still the skinny on Ilvermorny and MASCUSA and our favorite fireworks. Our FMK includes America's Sweethearts (Tom Hanks is involved). So stay tuned for that! Thanks for listening!

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We're back and more off topic than ever! If you love falling into giant google holes of darkness, or if you identified with the characters in Roald Dahl's classic novels, this is a podcast for you. We're google deep diving! We google anything Harry Potter related and see what we can find. Of course, this means we talk about our Halloween Costumes and what houses we'd sort Avengers into. Thank you for listening! We missed you!

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It's another book and movie comparison this week! This time, we're talking about Book 5, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. This movie is pretty polarizing and screenwriters missed a lot of details from the fifth book. Why didn't the stairs to the girls' dormitory turn into a slide? Where was SPEW? Why was Harry always so sweaty during the movie? There's a lot to talk about and we've got alllll the opinions. Let us know what you think of the fifth movie and the fifth book and tell us anything we missed.

We're taking a break next week to enjoy our summers! We'll miss you! If you need some extra nonsense, head to our Patreon. We released an episode for patrons where we play Muggles Against Humanity.

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This week we're playing our own version of Nuclear Winter! We pick 20 random Harry Potter characters, and came up with 20 random attributes. Like Snape, but the only spell he can cast is alohamora. We choose which ten characters we would take with us into a bunker during a nuclear winter. The stakes are high and the attributes we came up with are wild. Would we take Bill Weasley into our bunker if he excessively talked about being a vegan? Listen to find out. Let us know who you would want with you during a nuclear winter!

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Even though it’s June, the hags are still finishing up Marauder’s May. We’re down to our final Marauder, James Potter. Husband and father. Aries. Quidditch Star. Animagus. Kind of a bully? That’s up for discussion this week, along with all his family history. We finally have the tea about how he got to be so rich. And we talk about something called the “Sacred 28.” Some wizards really love being pureblood. Hang out till the end for this one, because instead of a quiz, we look up a list of celebrities who may be married to their cousins. And Fuck, Marry, Kill includes some fun Star Trek, Bones, and historical characters. Woo!

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Today we talk about the marauder who is literally named Wolf Man Wolf: Remus John Lupin. We know you have lots of questions. Like: what’s his wand like? It’s Cypress and unicorn hair, ten and a quarter inches, pliable. Is his wife hot? Yes, and we can tell you all about their love story. Does Lupin have a compelling backstory? Yes, we've got all the tragic details. Will this episode stay on topic? Of course not!! Will Fuck, Marry, Kill be normal characters for once? Nope, we choose which famous werewolves we would definitely like to marry or kill. Listen now!

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The hags are back for Marauder's May! This week we're talking about the worst marauder...Peter Pettigrew. There's a lot to say about the little rat. We just wanna know why Peter is like that. We cover his timeline in every book, his crazy hand, and discuss if Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville are just the marauders....but better. Call in if you want to tell us what you would do if you were Sirius in your group of friends! Gaby and Benjamin send their love from deep Canada.

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Siriusly, did you expect us to do an episode about Sirius Black and not make a pun?? C'mon. In fact, this month is MARAUDERS MAY! Every week we're talking about a different marauder and sharing a fun fact about their special map. Except this week we talk too much and don't talk about the map at all. But we do have all the facts about Sirius' life and we analyze all the wonderful and not so wonderful things he did throughout the books. Plus, we take some quizzes!! Who is most likely to date Remus Lupin? And get ready for us to talk about Wormtail next week!

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Here's a tip: if you're using Floo Powder to get to Diagon Alley, make sure you pronounce it right. Otherwise you might end up in Knockturn Alley. That's right, we're talking about the dodgy side of shopping this week. We talk about the weird stuff you can find at Borgin and Burkes and where you can buy bones, get a shave, or even find materials to raise the dead. Plus, we talk about the ins and outs of antiquing. Don't pick up the cursed dolls! Let us know if you'd shop around the dark side of the wizarding world!

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Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCB8bOkgHYVYNc8jqX2eAMXQ (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCB8bOkgHYVYNc8jqX2eAMXQ)