Is your relationship causing you a great deal of stress? Do you suspect that your partner has a diagnosable mental illness?

In such a challenging situation, it’s human nature to blame the other person in the relationship. To label their behavior as wrong and ask, ‘Why won’t they change?’

But if their mental health is in question, they may not be able to change. And the better question is, ‘What is YOUR next right step?’

Judy Herman is a mental health professional and relationship wellness advocate dedicated to equipping high-achieving women in the helping professions go from trauma drama into vibrant karma.

Judy is also the host of Better Relationships, Better Life: The Podcast and author of Beyond Messy Relationships and Relationships with Purpose.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Judy joins Katherine to explain how her personal experience as a twice-divorced relationship therapist inspired her to write Relationships with Purpose.

Judy discusses what differentiates someone with self-centered characteristics from a diagnosable narcissist and shares questions to ask yourself if you’re married to someone with mental illness.

Listen in for Judy’s insight on shifting your attitude toward your partner from judgement to curiosity and learn strategies for staying grounded during challenging interactions in any relationship.

Topics Covered

How Judy’s own challenging relationships inspired her to write her first book

The identity crisis Judy faced as a twice-divorced relationship therapist

What differentiates someone with self-centered characteristics from a diagnosable narcissist

What questions to ask yourself if you’re married to someone with mental illness

How to shift your attitude toward your partner from judgement to curiosity

Judy’s strategies for staying grounded in challenging interactions with your partner

Why Judy suggests getting professional help if you’re feeling shame around your relationship

Judy’s deep breathing exercises for navigating intense interpersonal situations

Connect with Judy Herman

Judy’s Website: https://www.judycounselor.com/

Better Relationships, Better Life: The Podcast: https://www.judycounselor.com/podcast/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://miller-law.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected] 

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Beyond Messy Relationships by Judy K. Herman: https://www.judycounselor.com/product/premier-author-signed-single-book/

Relationships with Purpose by Judy K. Herman: https://www.judycounselor.com/relationships-with-purpose/

Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/

My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward by Mark Lukach: https://www.marklukach.com/book

Judy’s Relationship Stress Quiz: https://www.judycounselor.com/

Judy’s From Chaos to Calm Online Course: https://www.judycounselor.com/jumpstart-emotionally-safe-conversations/