Surviving the holidays as a newly single parent feels like trying to decorate a shattered Christmas ornament—you’re desperately holding it together, but the cracks are impossible to ignore.

Hi, I’m Veronica Cisneros, LMFT, and welcome to Empowered and Unapologetic. This one’s personal. If you’re navigating the holidays while dealing with betrayal, infidelity, or divorce, all while trying to shield your kids, this is for you. The holidays, a time for joy and connection, can feel soul-crushing when you’re struggling to hold it all together. But I see you. I’ve been you. And I’m here to help you not just survive but step into your strength with honesty and a whole lot less guilt.

“The emotional toll of trying to protect your children from the truth of who their father has become is a weight no one should carry alone.” - Veronica Cisneros

Let’s start with the reality. This season might not look anything like what you planned. You might be holding on by a thread, doing everything to make things seem normal for your kids. But deep down, it’s far from normal, and you’re exhausted.

I know this pain because I’ve lived it.

Summary

• The holidays can be particularly challenging for newly single parents.
• Protecting children from the truth can lead to greater emotional damage.
• Honesty is crucial in teaching children about relationships and boundaries.
• Setting boundaries is essential for personal well-being and for teaching children about respect.
• Children need to see the reality of their parent's actions to build resilience.
• It's important to validate children's feelings when their expectations are not met.
• You don't have to fix your partner's relationship with the kids; let them own their choices.
• Establishing non-negotiables helps in setting effective boundaries.
• Letting go of the need to shelter everyone from the truth is empowering.
• Every step toward honesty and empowerment is a step toward healing.

My Holiday Heartbreak

When my husband Willie asked for a divorce just months after our daughter Aliyah was born, I was in denial. There’s no way this is happening, I thought. I was determined to protect our family, to keep the “happy home” alive, no matter what.

But it wasn’t happy. It was exhausting.

During Aliyah’s first Halloween, I drove hours just so Willie, busy with work as a drill instructor, could see her dressed as a bumblebee. She had no idea what was happening. But I did it anyway. I was clinging to the illusion of a family that no longer existed.

And Christmas? I vividly remember decorating the tree and videotaping Aliyah’s first Christmas. “Look at what Daddy made,” I said, pointing to decorations he didn’t even touch. Why did I do that? Because I wanted to believe in something that wasn’t real.

“I wanted to create a false sense of reality for her first Christmas—not for her, but for me. I wasn’t ready to admit the truth.” - Veronica Cisneros

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