Need Not Apply

Summer said “bye,” patience said “same.” We open with cozy chaos (Costco lines, glitter lip balm, seasonal blues) and then rip through wild news + r/AntiWork bangers. If you’ve ever wanted to say “nope” and walk,” this one’s for you. 💅🚪

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  🦑 Cuttlefish ace the Marshmallow Test — delayed gratification for shrimp later > crab now. Future-planning isn’t just for mammals.

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  👁️🦷 Tooth-in-Eye Vision Restore — Canada’s first modern case of osteo-odonto-keratoprosthesis: tooth → lens → 20/40–20/30 vision.

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  🪸 “Chewbacca” coral — deep-sea fuzzball spotted from Molokaʻi to near the Mariana Trench. Cousin Itt vibes.

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  🧳💀 TSA finds a skull & bones — Tampa bag check says “rituals,” CDC says: destroyed. Paperwork or bust.

• 🐦 The “Grue-Jay” hybrid — Blue jay × Green jay, DNA-confirmed; species ranges collide as climate shifts remix biodiversity.

  ⚖️🤖 AI Attorney Fined $10K for Fake Citations — brief cited 23 cases, 21 fabricated/misquoted, drafted with AI tools and not verified; judge: you can’t outsource fact-checking.

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  🤳✨ AI in Beauty — selfie tools estimate hydration/TEWL; cool for access, watch out for lighting bias + privacy.

• ❤️‍🔥🤖 AI Dating Concierge — Facebook Dating adds chatbot Cupid + weekly “Meet Q” surprise match. Swipe fatigue, meet algorithm.

1. 
   

   🛒🔪 “Parking-Lot Gremlin at Sam’s” — OP bullied, knife threat, kept outside, “team lead” jacket revoked after a customer hits them.

2. 
   

   🍪🎧 “Rave > Toxic Bakery Shift” — first absence in 3 yrs, boss melts down, HR can’t back termination. Live a little.

3. 
   

   🪜💥 “Fall 25 ft, Settle 5× Salary” — busted ladder, broken leg, shady “don’t-sue” bedside contract, good lawyer, new plan.

4. 🎯🧾 “Target Says Smile” — 100+ items handed one-by-one, scan-speed metrics tank, mgr asks “Do you even want to work here?” OP: “Nope.”

   
   

   
   

📣 CALL TO ACTION

If you laughed, gasped, or said “same,” rate ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ & follow — help the algo stop acting like our manager.

🎧 Now streaming: Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, YouTube (full-length video)

📩 Send your work stories (OP style): [email protected]

📲 IG/TikTok: @NeedNotApplyPod • YouTube: NeedNotApplyPodcast

⏰ New episodes Wednesdays @ 5:00 AM ET — One hour of chaos > eight hours on the clock. 🔥⌛

workplace stories, antiwork, retail horror stories, quitting stories, walkout story, Target cashier, Sam’s Club carts, toxic managers, TSA human remains Tampa, cuttlefish marshmallow test, cephalopod intelligence, tooth in eye surgery, osteo-odonto-keratoprosthesis, deep sea Chewbacca coral Molokaʻi, Grue-Jay hybrid bird, Grue hybrid, climate change biodiversity, AI lawyer hallucinations, fake legal citations, AI skincare hydration TEWL, AI dating assistant Facebook Dating Meet Q, Need Not Apply podcast

Gary and Gina recorded this episode on Monday after a long day of work...what could go wrong?

This episode turns into maximum mayhem: cortisol tests, a praying mantis omen, and then a dive into animals, AI, and “humans doing human things.” From toxic orcas to emotional support gators, this week’s news proves reality is stranger than fiction.

Then it’s story time—Reddit serves up a mixed bag of workplace absurdity: a boss who cried at paintball 🎯, a manager caught pocketing printing fees 💸, the most unhinged warranty pitch ever 📢, and a Karen who lost it over a late MacBook 💻. It’s petty revenge, TIFUs, and corporate clownery at its finest.In the News 🗞️

• Orcas full of forever chemicals + shrinking horseshoe crab populations 🐋🦀

• Gel manicure ingredient bans & UV/HEMA risks 💅

• Reusable water bottles dirtier than dog bowls 💧🦠

• Caffeine messing with antibiotic effectiveness ☕️🧫

• Walmart bans an emotional support alligator 🐊

• FBI burns meth at an animal shelter (oops) 😬

• The “forgotten” cancer on the rise: appendix cancer 📈

• Brain-computer interfaces that read inner monologue 🧠⌨️

• Paintball disaster: the boss who wouldn’t call his hit 🎯

• Petty revenge: the “pay-to-print” manager who funded a pizza party 🍕

• Warranty warfare: the 5 NOs + 5 WHYs meltdown 📢

• Karen vs. MacBook delivery—pure chaos 💻😡

Rate & Review ⭐

If you laughed, yelled “same,” or learned something weird, drop 5⭐ on Spotify and share with a coworker who always “has one quick question.”

Follow Us 👆

IG & TikTok: @NeedNotApplyPod
YouTube: Need Not Apply Podcast
Email your stories: [email protected]
New episodes: Wednesdays @ 5 a.m. 🎧

work stories, reddit stories, petty revenge, TIFU, Karen story, workplace drama, office comedy, podcast, weird news, orcas, horseshoe crabs, gel manicure, reusable water bottle bacteria, caffeine and antibiotics, emotional support alligator, FBI meth incinerator, appendix cancer, brain computer interface, humanoid robots, customer service, warranties, paintball story

Buckle up for a venti dose of service-industry mayhem: shoulder-driving Teslas, labubu brain-rot, elephant-sized eggs, and four (yes, four) Starbucks Baristas stories that’ll make your pumpkin spice curdle. ☕🔥

• Cold open shenanigans: Are we live? Are we real? (Gina says no. Gary says “say my name.”)

• Commute from hell: Shoulder bandits, karmic fender-benders, and why Gary almost bought popcorn for the apocalypse.

• Science snack: “If atoms are mostly empty space, why can’t we walk through walls?” (Atoms, baby—like pushing the wrong poles together.)

• Weird News lightning round:

  • $140k Pokémon card corporate fraud (please do not expense a Charizard)

  • Hippo capsizes a boat on the Ivory Coast—deadliest cute animal strikes again

  • The long-lost elephant bird and its potato-sized eggs 🥔

  • LaBubu / brain-rot aesthetic IRL (jelly shoes, keychains, chaos)

  • GenAI music & dishwashing robots: from folding towels to delicate plates—what could go wrong?

  • Male wasps “defense mechanism” = …uh… genital jousting (we’re sorry and you’re welcome)

• Music eases loneliness: your playlist really is a friend

  Additional Topic for Your Leisure:

  • Chuck E. Cheese in cuffs 🐭🚓 — Credit card fraud mid-party = traumatized kids + worst birthday ever.

  
  

• Main course — Starbucks Baristas stories (OP posts):

  1. “Dunkin’ Tee DW”: OP defends a cashier after a customer calls them “slow,” gets threatened, and still keeps it classy. Other customers rally—humanity +1.

  2. “No-Whip/Almond Milk Refund Spiral”: Mobile order, allergy protocol, extra crunch, store credit only… until the DM caves and forces a cash refund + apology. (Policy? Never met her.)

  3. “Work Until She Can’t”: Pregnant partner keeps vomiting; management says… keep going. Ethics hotline, anyone?

  4. “Closing Time Espresso Gremlin”: Demands extras after close, throws hot shots over the bar, camps outside; police never show. Love that for everyone.

• Distraction of the Week: Gary’s Waterpark Simulator era (power-wash zen, accidental pool electrocution oops), Gina’s biz push—bookings + content mode on.

Baristas, servers, retail warriors—we want your tales (the longer the better). If it happened at work and made you say “nope,” it’s probably our vibe.

✉️ Email: [email protected]
▶️ YouTube: Need Not Apply Podcast (full episodes & clips)
📱 IG & TikTok: @NeedNotApplyPod

If we hit 100 Spotify followers, Gary wears the LaBubu onesie on a live. You’ve been warned.

Keywords: Need Not Apply Podcast, funny work podcast, workplace comedy, reddit stories podcast, workplace drama, bad coworkers, HR nightmares, toxic workplace, AI, robot, robot cleaner, Chuck E. Cheese, retail rage, management nonsense, light science, heavier hippo facts, Gary, Gina

Rate ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, follow, and share with that friend who still says “the customer is always right.” (They’re not.)

Your hosts Gina & Gary are back running on caffeine, pantry reorganizations, and pure chaos. We swap weekend war stories (subscribe-and-save betrayed us 😑), and then dive into a stack of AskReddit workplace gems that had us yelling “zipper merge, people!” from the car.

We kick off with oddball headlines & rabbit holes:

• 🇳🇱 Tiny homes made from old wind turbines — Dutch upcycling goes full chic. workplace gems that had us yelling “zipper merge, people!” from the car.

  
  

  We kick off with oddball headlines & rabbit holes:

  •

  🇳🇱 Tiny homes made from old wind turbines — Dutch upcycling goes full chic. 🏡🔄

  •

  🇬🇱 Airport security ditched for reindeer hunting — Nuuk flights delayed because… dinner. ✈️🦌

  
  

  • 🇮🇸 Puffling rescue season — locals gently toss baby puffins off cliffs to help them launch. ✈️🦌

    
    

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    🇮🇸 Puffling rescue season — locals gently toss baby puffins off cliffs to help them launch. 🐧✨

    •

    🕷️ Black widow “injection” experiment — spoiler: the ICU, not euphoria. 🚫💉

    •

    🧠 Does AI make us lazy thinkers? A Swiss study says cognitive offloading is real. 🤖🧩

    •

    🧵 Scientists flee X for Bluesky — better moderation, fewer bots, actual engagement. 🌀🔬

    
    

    
    

    😈 AskReddit stories we tackled:

    • The art gallery tyrant — late pay, public screaming, and a Christmas “you’re fired.”

      •

      The art gallery tyrant — late pay, public screaming, and a Christmas “you’re fired.” 🎄💥

      •

      Meth/coke newbie — borrowing rides, “toddler” sob stories, and a very awkward payback. 🚚💸

      •

      Ed, hazard to himself — head bonks, ladder faceplants, and a cardboard baler incident. 🪜🤕

      •

      The office squatter — living at work, pizza crusts in the toilet brush holder (why). 🍕🚫

      •

      Boss throws a metal trash can — gaslighting, cameras, and an HR glow-up exit. 🗑️💀

      
      

      
      

      ✨ Distractions of the week:

      • 
        

        Gina’s glam lab — mannequin head, $11 curling iron, and hair-styling reps. 💁‍♀️✨

      • 
        

        Gary’s 3-day-weekend mini-movie — plus zipper-merge rage and dash-cam justice. 🎬🚗
      • Pantry Tetris, protein Cheerios on ice cream (don’t knock it), and the eternal battle with fabric Band-Aids. 🩹🥣

      🔥 Pull up a chair in the break room—this one’s got weird news, workplace devils, and the kind of stories that make you want to re-write your résumé… again.

      
      

      📲 Follow us @NeedNotApplyPod on TikTok & IG

      📩 Send your stories: [email protected]

      📺 YouTube: Need Not Apply Podcast

      
      

      Keywords: Need Not Apply Podcast, funny work podcast, workplace comedy, reddit stories podcast, AskReddit stories, workplace drama, bad coworkers, HR nightmares, horrible bosses, toxic workplace, coworker from hell, meth at work story, office squatter, cardboard baler accident, zipper merge, dash cam, pantry organization, tiny homes wind turbine, Nuuk airport reindeer hunting, Denmark, puffin rescue, Iceland, black widow injection, AI cognitive offloading, Bluesky, rare beauty, AI, robot, bro comedy, spooky season

      
      

Your hosts Gina & Gary are back with another jam-packed episode — and this week we’re asking: are these people just jerks… or full-on devils at work?

We kick things off with wild headlines: radioactive Walmart shrimp 🍤☢️, zombie squirrels and rabbits 🐿️🧟, and Merriam-Webster officially adding “skibidi” to the dictionary 🤯📖. Plus Rare Beauty’s scratch-and-sniff billboards 👃✨, Marc Maron calling out the bro-pod comedy scene 🎤🔥, and why ghost culture 👻 is thriving just in time for spooky season.

Then it’s time for our devilish workplace tales:

😈 Stories this week include:

• The office jokester who just won’t quit with nicknames 🙄😂

• A nervous grad sneaking absinthe before a job interview 🍾😳

• A “helpful” coworker who fat-shames a colleague 🚫🥴

• A vet tech meltdown over dog poop duty 🐕💩

• And one employee who simply can’t handle a Transformers superfan 🤖

  
  

✨ Distractions of the week: Pokémon card grading 🎴, updating résumés 💼, and family visits...

🔥 Buckle up — we’ve got laughs, rants, and plenty of side-eye as we decide who’s an a-hole… and who’s truly the devil.

📰 News Stories:

• Reuters: First screwworm case confirmed in Maryland

• TIME: “Zombie” squirrels & rabbits

• Merriam-Webster adds “skibidi”

• Business Insider: Posture as the new longevity hack

• Rare Beauty’s scratch-and-sniff ads (Selena Gomez)

• Marc Maron on bro-pod comedy

• FDA shrimp recall (radioactive fears)

• Sleep apnea + conch shell study

• AI bots beefing on fake social networks

• Robot womb hoax out of China

• The “Great Resentment” in workplaces

📲 Follow us @NeedNotApplyPod on TikTok & IG
📩 Send your stories: [email protected]
📺 YouTube: Need Not Apply Podcast

Keywords: Need Not Apply Podcast, funny work podcast, workplace comedy, reddit stories podcast, Am I the Asshole podcast, Am I the Devil stories, workplace drama, bad coworkers, HR nightmares, office nicknames, job interview gone wrong, toxic workplace, coworker from hell, fat shaming at work, Transformers obsession, radioactive shrimp, zombie squirrels, skibbity dictionary, Rare Beauty, Rare Beauty billboard, Marc Maron comedy, bro comedy, ghost culture, spooky season, AI, AI social media bots, robot, robot womb hoax, great resentment workplace

🎙️ Need Not Apply Podcast : Airline Chaos Edition ✈️😳

From meteors to zombie rabbits 🐇🍄, Selena Gomez’s scratch-n-sniff billboards 👃✨, and UnitedHealth’s mega-hack 💻🔓… we’re covering the wild headlines before diving into this week’s theme: AIRLINE STORIES 🛫.

👩‍✈️ Drunk pilots, overheated engines, and flight attendants on the edge 😱

🛑 Frontier kicking passengers off planes for literally paying less 💸🙄

🥂 Private jet customers trashing planes (and drinking all the Tito’s) 😂🍹

😤 Plus: crying babies, bad etiquette, and why pickleball is somehow the fastest-growing sport in America 🎾🥒

We wrap it up with distractions of the week: Japanese raccoon dogs 🦝🐾, Freaky Friday nostalgia 🍿, and more questionable theater babies 👶.

💼 So grab your boarding pass, buckle up, and keep your trays in the upright position we’re cleared for chaos.

📰News Stories:

• What to Know About the Horned 'Zombie' Rabbits Hopping Around Colorado | TIME
• Fixing Your Posture: a Hot Longevity Trend That's Like a Free Facelift - Business Insider
• Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty putsup scratch-and-sniff ads in NYC
• Terrible luck: The only person ever killed by a meteorite—back in 1888
• Over 190 million hit in UnitedHealth data breach — confirmed largest in history

✈️ Stories this week include:

1. Story 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pcawuf/comment/haiuv5z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
2. Story 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pcawuf/comment/hahrms7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
3. Story 3: Here’s my Frontier horror story : r/frontierairlines
4. Story 4: https://www.reddit.com/r/flying/comments/yzq9ji/comment/ix2b7v1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

📲 Follow us @NeedNotApplyPod on TikTok & IG

📩 Send us your stories: [email protected]

📺 YouTube: Need Not Apply Podcast

Welcome back to Need Not Apply, where this week we're diving into the fire — and dragging some nightmare customers with us. This episode is all about the food service industry: stories from servers, line cooks, and fast food workers that’ll have you screaming “YES, CHEF!”... or maybe just screaming.

• A couple who sat past closing, refused dessert... and tipped $5

• A nightmare customer custom-ordering “pre-al dente” vegan pasta

• A brutal first shift on the grill that ends in smoke, shame, and respect

• A Chick-fil-A employee’s tell-all on toxic management and man-baby directors

• Gina loses her wedding ring (but finds out who had it)

• Gary nearly styles his hair with a dehumidifier

• The cursed world of fart jars and bathwater sales

• AI gone rogue, radioactive rhino horns, grass-eating pets, and the animal extinction stories that broke our hearts

  
  

🧠 Need a distraction from your shift? We got you.

📰News Stories:

• ⁠Redditors Claim They Can Smell When Someone Is Pregnant. Is That Really A Thing?⁠

• ⁠ChatGPT Poisoned A Guy Into Psychosis, Case Study Shows⁠

• ⁠AI robot pet hit in Japan as personalities vary based on upbringing⁠

• ⁠China launches ‘world’s first’ humanoid robot mall that operates like a car dealership⁠
• ⁠L’Oréal’s surprising reasoning for picking an OnlyFans model as a brand ambassador⁠
• ⁠When your mind goes 'blank,' your brain activity resembles deep sleep, scans reveal⁠💌 Want your story read on-air? Email us: ⁠[email protected]⁠📅 New episodes every Wednesday at 5 a.m. ET📲 Follow us on Instagram, TikTok & YouTube: @NeedNotApplyPod

🍴 Stories this week include:

1. ⁠Nice Guys Always Finish Last...Unless They're Eating at a Restaurant [Wall of Text] [Storytime]⁠
2. ⁠An Unexpected Journey, or So Long and Thanks To All The Fish: The story of my first stage.⁠
3. ⁠Every get a Customer like this before? Long story⁠
4. ⁠This is the only place I know to share my story about my horrible workplace experience. It is a long story (mobile format)⁠

We came to read work drama… but one story took over like it had PTO to burn.
Meet Anna: a 20-year-old coworker who’s confident, confrontational, and catastrophically incorrect.

👩‍🎤 It all starts with a crush...a fellow barista who speaks multiple languages, including Spanish. Anna doesn’t like that. She really doesn’t like that.
So naturally, she…
🔹 Accuses her of faking fluency
🔹 Publicly calls out her accent
🔹 Demands a coworker defend her fragile ego
🔹 Plays victim when no one agrees

When that doesn’t work?
🔹 She shows up at the girl's house uninvited
🔹 Gets herself fired for escalating
🔹 And just when we think she’s done…
🔹 She rents the apartment across the street

It’s unhinged. It’s delulu. It’s five Reddit posts deep.
And the kicker? Even her own sister tells her she’s the problem.

🎪 Oh, and there’s more:

We also read a short but insane story about a narcoleptic bouncy castle driver whose teenage coworker was told, “Just grab the wheel if he passes out.”
🚩 Safety? Never heard of her.
🏁 Liability? They don’t have that either.

😅 Meanwhile, in our pre-story banter:

🛒 Costco parking lot chaos & human speed bumps
🐝 Updates from the wasp war (spoiler: duct tape is a character now)
💄 A viral AI-generated makeup ad sparks an ethics debate
🤖 Microsoft says we can’t tell real from fake images — and then sells us a tool to try anyway
🎭 Plus: Jason Momoa’s acting... does it exist?

✉️ Got Your Own Work Saga?

We want it. Retail? Restaurants? Corporate HR nightmares? Send it our way.
📬 Email us at [email protected]

🔗 Find Us Everywhere!

📸 Instagram & TikTok: @neednotapplypod
▶️ YouTube: Need Not Apply Podcast
📥 Submit a story: [email protected]

⏰ New Episodes Every Wednesday @ 5am EST

Clock in for the chaos, coworkers. The kettle’s on. ☕

Welcome back to Need Not Apply, where the vibes are chaotic, the wasps are aggressive, and the workplace stories are anything but boring.

This week, Gary and Gina are under siege — not from coworkers (yet), but from yellow jackets taking over their apartment. Between buzzing invaders, DIY pest control, and two deeply unbothered cats, they share a behind-the-scenes glimpse at what it’s like trying to record a podcast inside an accidental hive.

Naturally, that spirals into:
🐝 Home life vs. wildlife: yellow jackets, hornets, and one truly cursed centipede encounter
🥵 Weird internet cooling hacks (Greek yogurt on your windows — we wish we were kidding)
🧊 The war on heat, including aluminum foil insulation and a collective loss of dignity
🎮 Random game stats, snack tangents, and apartment therapy fails

Then it’s on to this week’s lineup of malicious compliance greatness — four stories of petty, perfect revenge served corporate-cold:

1. Train Your Replacements – OP’s boss plans to fire them… and asks them to train two interns first. They comply. It backfires. Beautifully.

2. Wrong Ticket? Right Price. – A customer demands the wrong thing and insists they’re right. Turns out, that’ll cost extra.

3. “Suck It Up or Leave” – A manager tries to bully the office MVP into silence. Instead? They leave. The fallout is immediate.

4. Three for One Special – One post, three quick and spicy tales of malicious compliance at work. Think of it as a sampler platter of chaos.

If you’ve ever smiled through a ridiculous task and thought, “Okay… if you say so,” this episode’s for you.

🎧 New episodes drop every Wednesday at 5 a.m.
💌 Got a workplace horror story of your own? Send it to [email protected].
📲 Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @NeedNotApplyPod
📺 Watch the full episode on YouTube @NeedNotApplyPodcast

Like, follow, leave a review — and remember: sometimes the best way to fight back is by following directions a little too well.

Timestamps

00:00 - 02:00: Introduction and setting the scene.

02:01 - 05:00: Discussing the unexpected invasion of yellow jackets.

05:01 - 10:00: Strategies to deal with the wasp problem.

10:01 - 15:00: Humorous anecdotes about home life and unexpected critters.

15:01 - 20:00: News segment - unusual cooling methods and gaming statistics.

20:01 - 25:00: Malicious compliance stories from the workplace.

25:01 - 30:00: More workplace stories and personal reflections.

30:01 - 35:00: Closing thoughts and listener engagement.

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You think you know your coworkers? Oh, honey — you have no idea.

In this episode of Need Not Apply, Gary and Gina dive headfirst into some of the most jaw-dropping, rage-inducing, and downright unbelievable workplace stories we've ever come across.

But first, a little catch-up:
☕ The emotional toll of remembering strangers' names (retail trauma is real)
🐾 Why their cats insist on becoming uninvited podcast guests
🛍️ Gina’s Ulta gift card saga — customer service or customer disservice?
💄 Skincare hot takes, old-school NARS nostalgia, and the downfall of good packaging
📞 Gen Z phone anxiety — why is calling someone now a federal offense?
🤖 The rise of AI scammers and the paranoia spiral that followed
🌍 And yes, a few environmental tangents (because why not?)

Then it’s off to the coworker chaos.

We’re talking about:

• The barista who barked at customers (and later became a cop)

• A hotel manager who used God, scarecrows, and wreaths as tools of terror

• A help desk tech with a whiteboard and a vendetta

• And a Game Master–turned–Keymaster who tried to pay rent with fake currency... and almost impaled himself with a house key

We cover manipulation, martyrdom, silent treatments, whiteboard meltdowns, and actual physical threats — all wrapped in humor, hot takes, and a few “is this real life?” moments.

If you’ve ever worked with someone who made you question your sanity (or your career path), this one’s for you.

🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review!
📲 Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @neednotapplypodcast for more chaos.
💌 Got your own coworker horror story? Send it our way — you might hear it in a future episode.

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