I read some where that saying should to yourself was like always being in cognitive dissonance and I really felt that it made so much sense. for us ADHDers we seem to always be in cognitive dissonance because we’re always stuck between what we feel we want to be/do and what we feel we should/shouldn’t do/be. It’s such an uncomfortable place to be too. This episode looks at what I’m learning about ‘should’ about reducing the amount of ‘should-ing’ I’m doing on myself.

What I’m learning:
1. It’s hard to hold two conflicting thoughts in my head at the same time on the topic about myself
2. It’s hard to change something I’ve always believed
3. Our brains really like to know what’s going on
4. ADHD makes learning new thoughts really difficult
5. Messages from society really impact what we feel we should/shouldn’t do

Takeaway:
Learning to reduce the gap between should and what you want.

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Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self-compassion: They Were Wrong About You!

Intro & Outro music: Joseph McDade
T-shirt on my Cover:  ND Renegade

This episode is one of my most personal yet where I share more about growing up as a transracial adoptee and how I learned that hiding and becoming invisible and being what I thought everyone wanted me to be was my way for avoiding the unpredictability of other people's reactions to me being different. I look at what I'm trying to do in order to become more visible and step into my power. What is working and what I'm still working on during this slow,  yet powerful journey to becoming myself. 

What I grew up with:

• The impact of colour blindness 
• Being a transracial adoptee
• Lack of representation

What I'm learning (and trying)

1. Saying no (or yes)
2. Feeling my emotions
3. Quit over apologising

What I'm learning (and still struggle with)
1. Feeling comfort in my body
2. Comfortable with compliments
3. Comfort  with success
4. Putting my needs first
5. Using my voice

Take away:
One small self-care promise to develop self-trust...

On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
On Twitter @theadhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self-compassion: They Were Wrong About You!

Intro & Outro music: Joseph McDade
T-shirt on my Cover:  ND Renegade

I've talked a lot about learning about the impact of my ADHD on my life and understanding it more, but I couldn't continue this mini-series centring ADHD without considering how I'm learning to recognise and utilise my strengths in things I liked but also how I might harness them more often in areas that I'm struggling with.

What I'm learning:

• Creativity
• Interpersonal Intuition (totally messed up and said intuitive thou!)
• Hyper-focus
• Impulsivity
• Energy
• Time
• Sensitivity
• Memory

How I'm using/finding my strengths:

1. ADHD strengths & 
2. My sense of time
3. What feels great it
4. Natural flow
5. Curiosity

Resources:

https://www.simplywellbeing.com/being-adhd/adhd-intuition/
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-creativity-of-adhd/

Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
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Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self-compassion: They Were Wrong About You!

Here’s the second half from last week. This time I look at what it’s been like to try to maintain my ADHD management and some of the thoughts and tricks I’ve learned along the way. The first half of this episode might seem a bit dismal (I’m learning just like the rest of you),  but there are ideas and things to think about that can make all the difference too that I explore in the second half. 

What I realised

• It’s on-going 
• It’s consistently inconsistent 
• Hyperfocus can go for a long time 
• My own internalised ableism 

What I’m doing now: 

1. Understanding my processes 
2. Old habits die hard
3. Be aware of clues 
4. Lots of inner work and healing 
5. Forgiveness and grace 
6. Decide my own needs and declaring

Takeaway tips:

• Things to think about
• Cultivating sel compassion

Connect with me:

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Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self compassion: They Were Wrong About You! 

This week is another patron’s request podcast episode and this one centers ADHD more than any others I’ve written before. I’m talking about how I’ve been learning to understand my ‘Brand of ADHD’ and the ways that it impacts my life when I’ve not been as aware about it. I think that understanding who we are is vital if we’re going to get a good idea of what we need in order to be at our best. At the end of the day, ADHD can be very disabling so the better we know how it looks for us, the better we’ll be at putting the supports in place to work with it, rather than against it. 

This is the start of a two or maybe three part series I’m not sure yet but I think that looking at the beginning months of my journey might be a good start for many people about things to think about on their journey. 

What I thought

1. Meds were the only answer
2.  Coaching was the other answers

What I know now:

1. Learn my ADHD symptoms
2. Notice good coping mechanisms
3. Notice what brings joy
4. Notice distractions
5. Notice unhelpful coping mechanisms
6. Understand your co-occuring conditions
7. Understand your meds

Remember: It’s an on-going thing, and consistently inconsistent. 

Connect with me:

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Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self compassion: They Were Wrong About You! 

This week is I took a bit of a break from the series I’m in the middle of and asked my Patrons what they might want to hear me speak on. Self validation is something that’s a bit tricky for ADHDers and we look to others to make sure that we’re doing all we should be doing and end up in the trap using their feedback as a way to validate ourselves. It gives other people a lot of power over us when we look to them to decide if we can feel good about ourselves or not. The podcast looks at how this shows up in my life what I’ve learned so far and things I’ve trying to do in order to change things. 

What I’ve learned so far: 9:35(ish)
What I’ve tried: 19:30 (ish)
Takeaway tip: 32:30 (ish)

Connect with me:

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Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self compassion: They Were Wrong About You! 

This characteristic of either/or thinking really permeates into how I’ve made decisions in the past and how I’ve thought of myself. It’s been difficult for me to think in terms of grey area in my life and decisions. I’m a person that believes I need to have the exact qualification, I need to look the exact acceptable way otherwise it’s wrong.  I grew up with things having to be a certain way, or I was wrong. There was no space for other ideas or thinking. 

But this seems to go completely against the way that our brains work and lead to a lot of dissonances, as we must try to make ourselves do the one thing the way that we’ve been told or else it’s wrong. We’re wrong. This often leads us to feel anxious and overwhelmed because we want to explore the options as we know there must be, but we can’t because of urgency and this kind of thinking. It’s not a natural way of thinking for us to navigate, yet we hyperfocus on why we can’t just do the thing at the same time. 

This episode

• Basic information (as seen on dismantlingracism.org)
• What I learned
• How it might impact ADHD and different thoughts on intersectionality 
• What I’ve done to start dismantling this thinking

Connect with me:

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Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self compassion: They Were Wrong About You! 

I’m back with part two of this episode and this is where I go into the impact that this belief might have on us ADHDers and what we might struggle with. This episode looks at what we can do to start dismantling these ideas in all of us. 

Challenges for ADHD:

• Writing struggles 
• Speaking expectation
• Intuitive intuition
• Attention span for reading and writing 
• Black ppl getting more severe diagnosis for mental illness anyway 
• Schools testing
• Black students seen as less intelligent 
• We have many skills and they aren’t recognised

What I’ve learned:

• figure out which things need to be written down and come up with alternative ways to document
• work to recognize the contributions and skills that every person brings to the organization 
• make sure anything written can be clearly understood
• Ask yourself: How are you perpetuating/internalised this belief? How are you working to recognise the different contributions and skills of ppl you work with, in your family and supporting growth in those areas?

Connect with me:

On IG @theadhdgoodlife
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Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self compassion: They Were Wrong About You! 

This episode explores the importance of the written word (in English) and its impact on society. The importance of writing/reading/speaking in English is a huge part of white supremacist culture history and its importance is seen in schools and work places too. Your intelligence is dependent on how well you read and write, as if there are no other ways to communicate and share information. For ADHDers this can be challenging. But it’s what’s valued and if it’s not written down then it’s not true. It’s also been used a lot over history to spread ideas that encourage and enforce the idea that white people and their ideas and beliefs are best, while erasing and devaluing the history of other cultures. 

Part 2 looks more at the impact on our ADHD And what I’m trying to do in dismantling this belief for myself and how I work with others. 

• What I learned
• Different thoughts on intersectionality 
• How it looks in the world

Resources:

Akala talks Black history here: https://youtu.be/WUtAxUQjwB4 

Connect with me:

On IG @theadhdgoodlife
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Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com
Click for my free EBOOK on self compassion: They Were Wrong About You! 

Looking at part two of this characteristic of white supremacist culture, only one right way,  I’ll be sharing more about how it impacts our management of ADHD and how it’s existence makes the very way our brains operate wrong. I’ll look into what I’ve learned about myself and what I’ve been trying to do to dismantle this belief in my head. I’ll end with some tips that you can do too.  If you missed the previous episode, give a listen to who I break it down and theorise how this might look from intersectional lenses in various marginalised communities. 

Key points:

• Inconsistent and ADHD
• If you met a person with ADHD, you met a person with ADHD
• Talents we have often don’t include only one way to do something

What I learned so far:

1. Same goal can be achieved through many alternative paths
2. Learning from my mistakes (and accepting the way I do things)
3. Never assume you know what’s best 
4. Widen your circle of friendships

Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
On Twitter @theadhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com 

Click for my free EBOOK on self compassion: They Were Wrong About You!