Neurodivergent Strategies for Late-Diagnosed Adults: The Divergent Paths Podcast

Having an anxious attachment isn’t about being “needy” or insecure. It’s about what happens when a nervous system learns that connection isn’t always predictable or safe.

For many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, that lesson was reinforced for decades without ever being named. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., unpacks anxious attachment as it shows up in late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults.

She explores why anxious attachment isn’t a personality flaw, but a nervous system pattern shaped by inconsistency, masking, and years of subtle rejection. You’ll hear how ADHD pattern recognition, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), perfectionism, and people-pleasing all feed the cycle and why masking makes anxious attachment feel so much more intense.

Most importantly, this episode offers practical, neurodivergent-affirming tools to interrupt the spiral: pausing before panic-texting, grounding through the senses, naming what your nervous system is doing, and learning to ask for space without apologizing for having needs.

If you’ve ever thought, “Are they mad at me… or am I spiraling again?” this conversation will help you make sense of why your brain goes there, and how to meet yourself with more safety, clarity, and self-trust.

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About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

There’s a lot of pressure to “push through,” be resilient, and just do the hard things especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults. But what happens when pushing past your limits quietly starts to damage your nervous system, your relationships, and your mental health?

In this episode of the Divergent Paths Podcast, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, unpacks what overcapacity really looks like and why grit is often the wrong answer. Using a very real story about bringing home a puppy, Regina explores the difference between capability and capacity, how nervous system dysregulation shows up when expectations exceed regulation, and why asking for support is often the turning point.

This episode is for late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults who:

• Feel capable but constantly overwhelmed
• Push themselves until they hit meltdown or burnout
• Struggle with perfectionism, executive dysfunction, and sensory overload
• Were never taught how to work with their nervous system

You’ll learn why capacity isn’t about what you should be able to do, how overcapacity escalates into shame and dysregulation, and how regulation and community support can restore sustainability without giving up on the things you care about.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

The holidays demand more—more socializing, more masking, more expectations, more emotional labor. And for neurodivergent people, that pressure often leads to a very specific kind of burnout that doesn’t magically disappear on January 1st.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores holiday burnout through a neurodivergent lens, unpacking why the season is so depleting and why traditional “rest over the break” or New Year’s resolution culture completely misses the point.

Joined by Russ Catanach, Regina breaks down how extended holiday demands dysregulate the nervous system, why burnout is more than exhaustion, and how years of pushing through family obligations, end-of-year work pressure, and social expectations can culminate in shutdown—often right when we’re “supposed” to feel refreshed.

This episode reframes post-holiday recovery as a capacity reset rather than a productivity failure. You’ll hear personal stories, reflections on long-term stress, and why intentional rest—especially after the holidays—is not lazy, indulgent, or avoidant, but necessary for nervous system repair.

If you’re heading into the new year feeling depleted instead of motivated, this episode offers permission to opt out of resolutions and start listening to what your body actually needs.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Why do so many capable, resilient people struggle to care for themselves?

In this solo episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. reframes self-neglect not as a personal failure, but as a learned survival strategy, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who spent years masking, adapting, and pushing through. From skipping meals and ignoring pain to treating rest as something that must be earned, self-neglect often looks “functional” on the outside while quietly draining your nervous system.

Regina explores why high-capacity, over-functioning people learn to ignore their needs, how burnout and chronic dysregulation sneak in, and why self-forgiveness is so tricky when you judge your past self with present-day knowledge. This episode offers a compassionate reframe: you neglected yourself to survive.

You’ll also hear practical ways to begin practicing self-forgiveness, including releasing shame, lowering expectations without self-judgment, and building accommodations that actually support your brain and body.

If you’re navigating burnout, late diagnosis, or unlearning lifelong self-abandonment, this episode offers a gentle place to start.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Do you replay conversations long after an event ends, analyzing what you said, what you should have said, and how everything might have been perceived? In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. unpacks post-event rumination, a common experience for neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD and autism.

Together with co-host Russ Catanach, Regina explains why the brain gets stuck in these mental loops after social or professional interactions—and why rumination isn’t a personal failing, but a nervous-system response shaped by masking, rejection sensitivity, and unmet needs for safety and closure. You’ll learn how rumination differs from reflection, what actually fuels it, and why trying to “just stop thinking about it” rarely works.

This conversation offers compassionate, practical strategies to help you interrupt rumination cycles, regulate your nervous system, and release the emotional hangover that often follows meetings, presentations, or social gatherings. If you’ve ever felt exhausted by your own thoughts after an event, this episode will help you understand what’s happening—and how to move forward with more ease.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

If you’ve spent your whole life being “the capable one”—the reliable friend, the problem-solver at work, the emotional anchor for everyone else—you’re not alone. Many late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults are quietly carrying this role, often without ever choosing it. And the cost? Chronic burnout, emotional exhaustion, resentment, and a complete disconnect from your own needs.

In this episode, Dr. Regina unpacks why neurodivergent women so often become “the capable one,” how masking and people-pleasing feed the pattern, and revisits why capability is not the same as capacity. You’ll learn the signs of overfunctioning, the hidden emotional labor that drains your nervous system, and how to start stepping out of this survival role with compassion, boundaries, and sustainable support.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why am I so tired when I’m doing everything right?” then this episode will give you the language, validation, and tools you’ve been missing.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Neurodivergent folks are told constantly: “Just make it a habit.” But if that advice has ever activated your fight-or-flight response, you’re not alone. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina and Russ break down why traditional habit culture simply wasn’t built for neurodivergent brains and why it’s not your fault that the habit trackers, streaks, and “21-day rules” never stick.

We dig into the real neuroscience behind dopamine inconsistency, interest-based nervous systems, and basal ganglia automation. The three core reasons ND folks struggle with building automatic routines. We also explore how demand avoidance and shame play into the habit-making process, and why forcing consistency often backfires.

But it’s not all doomscrolling and lint-trap metaphors. You’ll hear practical strategies that do work for ND brains: environmental cues, personalized triggers, changing your space, anchoring tasks to daily events, and building systems that support your life instead of fighting it. Russ also shares how small environmental tweaks improved his productivity and how testing one change at a time can transform the whole system.

If you’ve ever felt broken because you “can’t stick to habits,” this episode will help you release the shame, trust your brain, and build support systems that actually fit how your mind works.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

People-pleasing, self-abandonment, and unmasking are deeply connected, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent folk. In this solo episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina breaks down how people-pleasing develops as a survival strategy, why it often leads to chronic self-abandonment, and what it really takes to unmask after years of shaping yourself around other people’s expectations.

You’ll learn:

• A simple definition of people-pleasing and how it functions
• What self-abandonment looks like and why it becomes automatic
• Why unmasking often feels scary, disorienting, or selfish (spoiler: it’s not)
• Three practical strategies to help you reconnect with your needs and rebuild trust with yourself

If you’ve spent most of your life trying to keep the peace, be "easy-going,” or avoid rejection, this episode will help you understand where those patterns came from and how to gently begin to change them.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I know I can do it… so why can’t I just make myself?” In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina and co-host Russ unpack the crucial difference between what you’re capable of doing and what you actually have the capacity to do.

From ADHD burnout to chronic overcommitment, we explore how late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults often confuse skill with bandwidth, pushing themselves past their limits because they’ve been praised for performance, not pacing.

Learn how to recognize when your energy, executive function, or emotional regulation are running low, and discover strategies to stay within your true capacity without guilt or shame.

Topics Include:

• The difference between capability and capacity (and why it matters)
• Why neurodivergent people often push past their limits
• Signs you’re out of capacity (even when you’re still capable)
• How to set boundaries without shame
• Tips for rebuilding capacity and honoring your bandwidth

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.

Have you ever found yourself repeating the same story three times in a row—even to the same person—just trying to get it right? You’re not being dramatic or forgetful. You’re doing a live edit and it’s a powerful, neurodivergent form of emotional processing.

In this solo episode of Neurodivergent Solutions, Dr. Regina McMenomy breaks down why late-diagnosed ADHDers and autistic folks often retell the same story multiple times in the same sitting. From revising word choice to decoding emotions, this repetition isn’t a flaw—it’s a form of self-regulation, sense-making, and emotional closure.

You’ll learn:

• Why ND folks reprocess stories to find the right phrasing
• How looping helps uncover hidden emotions and somatic responses
• The difference between external and internal processing (spoiler: journaling counts!)
• Why "getting it out" helps us finally let it go
• Tips for naming and navigating your own live edit moments—with grace

Whether you're a serial story-repeater or someone who needs to say it out loud to know what you think, this episode will help you understand your brain with more clarity and compassion.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy PhD,

Regina is an educator, consultant, and founder of Divergent Paths Consulting. With over two decades of experience in higher education and instructional design, she now helps individuals create more inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming spaces. A late-diagnosed ADHDer herself, Regina blends academic insight, personal experience, and a healthy dose of nerdy joy to help others unmask, heal, and thrive.