Never Perfect

It’s exciting to welcome back Dr. Allen Coffman, a pediatrician full of great perspective and advice for parents navigating healthy boundaries and limits on Technology for their kids. He shares some of the recent research on the impact of technology and healthy ways for parents to approach this nearly impossible task of monitoring children when they know more than most of us parents do about modern technology. 

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In this episode, Beth interviews Phil, a 65-year-old who describes himself as a “hopeless mess “ from age 20 to 60 as a result of childhood trauma, low self-esteem, social anxiety/phobia, alcoholism, and a lack of coping skills. Phil began counseling around age 40, and stuck with it for 20 years and he became sober around age 60. He was determined to make changes, not only to change his own path, but also to influence the path of his three children. He is now incredibly passionate about sharing his story and his journey with his kids and grandkids. He embodies the concept of the transitional generation and to say that he has made amends would be an understatement. Phil was diagnosed with stage three cancer about a year ago, and he doesn’t know how much time he has left, but one thing he does know is that he wants to help others learn from his pain and regrets. His life and his story is a gift, so perfect for publishing on Christmas Day. 

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Are the holidays a time of celebration, togetherness, magic and hope, or are they times that bring a sense of dread and sadness? Loneliness and grief can bubble to the surface at a time when it’s “supposed “ to be the most wonderful time of the year. There is pressure on the holidays to be the best time of our lives: we want them to fill the voids we all have in our hearts at times. Although this is understandable, holidays are often fraught with pain and loss. The voids become more obvious and apparent during these times. Most of us hope for the best and set our hopes higher every year and we manage to place the bar higher, as if this holiday needs to equal or surpass the last one. We all hope for a personal best, much like swimmers and runners do. Holidays bring issues to the surface such as the loss of dreams that we all have; they highlight our pain and loss. What could have been? What used to be? What is missing? What have I lost? What is the reality I wish for? in this episode Beth has a conversation with her amazing office manager Shelley about some of the reasons that holidays can be so painful and what you can do to cope. 

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To be honest, I hope that you’re not tiptoeing around people OR walking all over them. But unfortunately, many of us have an unhealthy dynamic with at least some of the people in our lives. This episode is about relationships and how people feel around you (and vice versa!) We need to take a look at our relationships and how healthy they are. How emotionally safe do we feel with others? And how did they feel with us? Who is high maintenance and who is low maintenance? Are you in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Or feels entitled and constantly makes everything about themselves? Or someone who never speaks up and asks for what they need? Do you find yourselves walking on people or taking them for granted? Ignoring them? Beth shares some advice for how to approach these issues, including journaling, assertiveness training, learning about emotional safety and emotional abuse, researching personality disorders such as narcissism or borderline, realizing that you can’t take responsibility for others emotions, etc. She also shares different strategies to use when you’re in a toxic relationship. 

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Human Magnet Syndrome

Stop Caretaking the Narcissist

Disarming the Narcissist

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This episode is about using your story to help others. Specifically, sharing lessons learned from mistakes, regrets, tragedy, and lack of information. Those who want their loved ones or even just strangers to have an easier and less painful life than they did it’s a beautiful thing. Beth shares the stories of two different men who are sharing their stories of addiction and pain with as many people as possible to help them avoid going down the same path.

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Beth encourages people to check in with themselves about how they’re doing and how close they are to the edge… Which might mean a nervous breakdown, a divorce, or a risk of suicide. We need to find ways to heal and recover from loss and stress so that we don’t get too close to the edge. Beth shares some personal examples of being close to the edge as well as client images of running on fumes or white knuckling it. We all need to create “shock absorbers” or buffers in our life to give us a way to protect ourselves from the inevitable bumps and losses in our lIves. 

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In this short episode, Beth outlines what she’s been learning from Therese Parks, a Wellness Nurse Coach, about blood sugar and glucose levels and the implications for your health, both mentally and physically. Beth wants to share with the listeners things she wishes she had known or DONE earlier; she hopes others will avoid making some of the same mistakes. Much of this advice is gleaned from the International best selling book “Glucose Revolution” by Jessie Inchauspé. Inchauspie shares manageable tips and hacks to balance blood sugar that are doable for anyone. 

Beth begins this short episode out with a short quiz on some of the cutting edge findings in this book, and then share some easy tips for evening out blood sugar and energy levels. THE ORDER IN WHICH YOU EAT YOUR FOOD MATTERS. For example, protein, fiber or vegetables before carbs and sugars. I and of course Beth has to share one of her own personal favorite tips which is drinking mostly water throughout your lifetime. She’s convinced that obesity rates would reduce drastically if we just got children started with mostly water drinking. 

WORD OF CAUTION WITH APPLE CIDER VINEGAR: Be careful with throat or stomach problems (example GRED or acid reflux). Also, it is important to dilute with large glass of water/fluid and use a straw to prevent tooth damage. An alternative is to just put in on salad with a dressing. Proper tips on using apple cider vinegar HERE!

Therese Parks RN, BSN, NC Wellness Coaching

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In this episode, Beth interviews Brianna, a woman in her 30s who shares her story of dating a narcissist who became abusive. She explains the insidious nature of abuse, how it affected her and how she got out of it. Beth shares some information emotional abuse and the traits of an abusive mentality (possessiveness, control, and entitlement). 

Resources: Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us

The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself

Why Does He Do That By Swift Reads

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In this episode, Beth interviews Brianna, a woman in her 30s who shares her story of dating a narcissist who became abusive. She explains the insidious nature of abuse, how it affected her and how she got out of it. Beth shares some information emotional abuse and the traits of an abusive mentality (possessiveness, control, and entitlement). 

Resources: Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us

The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself

Why Does He Do That By Swift Reads

Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org

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Hello this is Beth Capecchi and this is going to be my first peptalk (of many, I hope). This one is geared for young adults and college students, even though it could apply to anyone at any age. Almost EVERYONE feels like a failure at times, and gets disappointed in themselves and their jobs/career path in early adulthood. It can be very hard and discouraging to figure out what you will enjoy and be good at, but trust me, you ARE GIFTED. Traditional education doesn’t always uncover our gifts. Please don’t lose hope if you dislike your first job, if you don’t do as well as you expected to do in college, or if your employers seem to be disappointed in you. You will figure it out and one thing you can guarantee in life is that it will be an adventure. Almost every older adult that you know how to some sort of disappointment in themselves or in their career path along the way. Many people don’t end up doing what they set out to do. Life has a way of bringing you over bumps and through valleys before you end up where you need to be if you don’t give up and lose hope. Fear and anxiety are natural, but they fade as your perspective gets healthier. This episode was inspired and recorded immediately following Beth’s session with a 19-year-old who had an absolutely terrible first year of college, academically and emotionally. She was so disappointed in herself that she isolated herself rather than talking about it, and ended up severely depressed and had to withdraw from school second semester freshman year. But when she started opening up to her parents and in therapy, she started thinking differently and having a lot of hope. She has confidence in herself and she is starting her second year of college full of optimism about her future, and she knows that it will be good even if it’s not her “Plan A. “ She deserves an honorary degree in wisdom and perspective and this should be the proudest moment of her parents (and every parent) whose child has learned to think this way about life. Success is not about grades or income, it’s in the way you think and approach life. Don’t give up til you get to a healthy mindset. 

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