New Ways New You ( Tendrils of Grief- Life After Grief)

Susan, your host, welcomes Sarah Miller to today's episode. Sarah is a Royal Air Force veteran, turned Physical Therapist Assistant, turned Well-being Coach. She is currently in the process of setting up her own business, specifically coaching people who have unexpectedly lost a loved one and have been part of a traumatic experience. With a fierce passion, she states that her mission is to help people transform alongside adversity.

Through her own experience and interaction with many others in support groups, Sarah has seen first-hand the devastating effect adversity has on a person's way of being, including their health. Whether during the initial crisis or many years beyond, she has repeatedly heard stories from people 10, 20, and 30 years beyond their adversity who continue to live in the shadow of their heart-breaking circumstances. This motivated Sarah to help them through their grief journey.

Key Takeaways:

• Sarah shares her grief story that began when her daughter drowned.

• One day you wake up living your everyday life and end your day in a nightmare, we really don't know what comes next, there is no balance or "justice" that is granted.

• Making peace with your grief is the only effective way to move forward.

• Sarah shares how it was to live with self-blame and guilt.

• Sarah highlights the value of recognizing suffering and accepting that vulnerability is part of the human experience.

• Grief redefines your identity.

• Sarah talks about how her coaching role developed and became what it is today.

• Grief impacts all your body systems. It is so easy to neglect yourself when you are grieving.

• Stop and ask yourself: What do I need right now?

• Follow four criteria to give feedback: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? (and the fourth: is it kind?)

• Being authentic with yourself is the first step to honoring your needs and accepting your grieving and all the feelings involved in the process.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are, by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell

Meet Sarah Miller

Well Shine Coaching

Susan, your host, is accompanied by Francine Ivey in today's episode. Francine's heart and mission are to inspire and encourage the church, to bring those far from God into a passionate walk with Him, and to show the world through her testimony that Jesus is real and has a purpose and plan for each life. She desires for people to know that we can live beyond our circumstances, withstand the storms that come our way, and conquer the giants that taunt us! Many struggle with questions like, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" And "How can a loving God allow so much pain?" Francine tackles these questions while using her own heartbreak in a real and down-to-earth conversation.

Key Takeaways:

• Francine shares her grief story that started on what looked like a really good day.

• Everything changed after receiving the notice that her husband was dead. Time split for her into before and after that moment in time.

• There is a belief system about God favoring good people, which is why people always wonder why bad things happen to good people.

• "Why" and '"What ifs" are questions that stayed on repeat in Francine's mind.

• As a religious person, it was odd for Francine to respond to grief as she did.

• Reframe your "What ifs" into positive possibilities for the future: "What if I am going to be OK on the other side of this?" "What if I find my purpose and was able to go out and help people?"

• Francine and her children dislike the idea of "moving on" and prefer better "What now?" Finding a new purpose doesn't mean forgetting her husband and the father of her children.

• Susan shares how she resented God since she and her husband had built a lovely family. They have worked for it and were so grateful for it; it was just not fair for Paul to die when he did.

• Francine talks about her frustration seeing everyone living normally when her whole life was torn apart.

• Francine talks about her work helping people on their grief journeys.

• Francine shares a special moment where she realized there was no way to replace her husband, that God was the one that had sent him to her life, and His love was always there.

• Many people will feel uncomfortable with your grief but remember: It is OK not to feel OK.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Francine Ivey

Visit Consumed by the Call

Follow Francine on Facebook

Susan, your host, welcomes Jen Thomas, Intuitive Business Coach, and Healer, to today's episode.

Jen is a leader and advocate of working with emotions in business. She was invited to give her TEDx talk, "Putting Emotion Back in Business," inspiring others to lead with love, kindness, and compassion. Jen is an intuitive coach and spiritual mentor who helps business owners to access their inner wisdom by working with their emotions to clear blocks and create crystal-clear strategies for success.

After receiving guidance in 2019 to take her business online, Jen took the leap of faith required and tripled her business in 2020.

Key Takeaways:

• Jen shares her grief story.
• Jen experienced a whole level of grief she did not know existed.
• Grieving her father gave Jen a different perspective on herself as a person, how she valued her self-worth, and who she truly was (and even her place in the world).
• No one prepares us for grief.
• When we are ready, going through grief can be an enlightening experience.
• Susan shares the darkest part of her grief and the beginning of her healing once she imposed on herself the task of writing a gratitude journal (that only made her angrier when she started).
• Jen confesses she wasn't expecting to grieve all over again years later.
• Jen talks about the healing power of nature and how it helps us to be more present.
• Jen's core value in her business and world is love.
• Susan and Jen discuss the recurrent question: "What is the purpose?"
• Jen advises practicing conscious breathing, being in your body, and feeling that breath of life.
• Connect with nature, stay outside, and slow down; nature will find you.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Jen Thomas

Work with Jen: Free group for soul-led business people on Facebook, Instagram.

Nature's Wisdom: The Story of the River & the Rock on Never Giving Up, by Jen Thomas

Listen to Jen's TEDx Talk: "Putting Emotions Back in Business"

Ruth is the mother of the late Dan Markel, a noted law professor who was murdered in Tallahassee, Florida, in 2014.

Ruth is the author of The Unveiling: A Mother's Reflection on Murder, Grief, and Trial Life, where she describes her experiences since the day of Dan's death from several distinct perspectives.

As a devastated mother with the unique human perspective of becoming a homicide survivor and victim. As a woman whose attempts to achieve normalcy and live a healthy life are continually interrupted by painful reminders, a rollercoaster of hearings, frequently changing trial dates, verdicts, and appeals. As an engaged citizen, using what she has learned to help other victims of homicide and violent crimes recover from trauma and begin an optimistic outlook on life. As an insider who shows how our collective network of family, friends, and experts — including a murder coach — have helped her family remain involved, motivated, and hopeful. As a grandmother who had not been allowed to see her grandchildren in many years, she used advocacy to inspire the Florida State Legislature to pass a grandparent visitation bill. And as an experienced author of nine books using the written word to address the shift from grief to promise effectively.

Key Takeaways:

• Ruth shares her grief story.
• Ruth explains the concept of the Unveiling that finds its roots in Jewish tradition.
• Ruth talks about their grief experience, one that is never going to end.
• Susan talks about the "sneaky pockets of grief."
• Ruth talks about the characteristics of going through complicated grief.
• Ruth speaks of her book The Unveiling: A Mother's Reflection on Murder, Grief, and Trial Life.
• Ruth talks about the motive for her son's murder.
• Ruth talks about her suffering as a grandmother who wasn't allowed to see her grandchildren.
• You have to pay attention to the gifts you receive in life.
• Ruth shares how she advocated for grandparents' visitation right and reached "The Markel Act."
• Ruth advises those who have lost someone due to a traumatic death: What is going on in your inner mind has to be edited sometimes.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Ruth Markel

The murder of Dan Markel has attracted a great deal of media coverage — 20/20 and Dateline have covered the story and Wondery's podcast on the case Over My Dead Body, had over 10 million downloads.

Susan, your host, is joined by Dean McMurray in today's episode. Dean — "The Military Medium" — is an internationally acclaimed psychic, medium, healer, dowser, and ordained minister. His story, so powerful and so authentic, is unlike any other psychic medium out there, and it's why people from all across the globe are drawn to him for readings and personal Guidance.

Dean spent most of his childhood in northern Minnesota; he developed a deep love for nature and his country. That love of country inspired him to enlist and serve 24 years in the United States Armed Forces. Dean's service brought him overseas on several occasions, the last of

which awakened his psychic abilities and set him on a new path in life, a new mission with new marching orders.

After returning from his last overseas tour, Dean's deceased grandmother paid him a visit. She had a message for him: you are a medium, Dean, and it's time to get to work. There were no words. No sound. But the message was as clear as any he'd ever heard. It came straight from his grandmother's immortal heart to his own.

Dean retired from the Army and enlisted in a new service — he devoted his life to developing these newfound psychic abilities in service to others. Today, Dean conducts readings for clients

throughout the world, teaches mediumship classes, presents at regional symposiums, conferences, and workshops, and is currently working on his first book.

Key Takeaways:

• Dean talks about his story.
• Dean shares how he found out he was a medium.
• "How can I serve today?" this is how Dean describes his mission.
• Dean knew his father was dying one year before he passed away.
• Dean explains why he believes we are all vessels.
• Dean thought there was no way he would be a full-time psychic medium.
• Dean talks about grieving his identity as a soldier.
• Dean shares what most people who passed away want their loved ones to know.
• Dean insists everyone can be a medium.
• Dean wants everyone to remember: Love never dies.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Dean McMurray

Visit The Military Medium

Follow Dean on his YouTube Channel

Susan, your host, is joined by Marie Scott in today's episode. Marie is the Creator and Founder of Happy and Healthy After Widowhood. After losing her beloved Dave of almost 30 years, and her mom the same year, she went back to school to learn more about the link between food and cancer. After becoming a certified health coach, Marie now coaches widows and widowers using her 7 Steps to Healing After Loss, a unique roadmap to finding a new purpose after a devastating loss. After her health transformation and getting off all meds, losing 20 pounds, reversing pre-diabetes, and through her life transformation of becoming an author of three published books, an international speaker, and a wellness coach, she has many testimonials and is now happily married again to the second great love of her life, Jeff.

Key Takeaways:

• Sugar feeds cancer.
• Marie talks about her loss and grief as well as remembers the wonderful times she got to spend with him.
• Everyone has the right to choose to die with dignity, to choose quality over quantity of life.
• Susan talks about how Paul didn't want treatment and did it for everyone else.
• Marie shares how her husband worried about her having a life again.
• The first thing that goes missing with grief is laughter; once you reencounter your laughter, healing begins.
• When you do something for 30 days in a row, it becomes a habit.
• Writing a book is a labor of love! Marie shares how she wrote her first book.
• Marie shares how she met the second love of her life.
• Widows have an incredible amount of love left to give.
• Marie shares how she started a career as a coach.
• Marie talks about the 7 Steps of Healing.
• Marie talks about her next book named Cooking with a Side of Kleenex.
• "Find a sense of community" is Marie's advice for anyone grieving.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Marie Scott

Happy and Healthy After Widowhood

Marie Scott Wellness

"7 Steps to Healing After Loss"

Susan, your host, welcomes Cat O'Brien to today's episode. Cat is a 45-year-old single mum to a thirteen-year-old with additional needs. In November 2020, Cat's partner Jon died suddenly and unexpectedly of a stroke. Cat struggled in her early grief and shrank back from both society and her usual life-loving self. After three months Cat returned to work, where she founded the Rail Industry Bereavement Support Group (UK) and began working with bereaved people on living with grief. Cat believes that as a society, we don't talk about grief enough. She also believes in the power of sharing one's personal story as a means to break down the barriers that prevent people from learning how to be a good ally to someone who is grieving.

Key Takeaways:

• Cat shares her grief story that began when her soul mate passed away.
• Cat remembers the moment she got to hold her beloved partner's body after he passed away.
• Cat realized there was no getting back to normal.
• We are not OK with the fact that we are all going to die, and as a result, we don't talk enough about grief.
• We don't know the end of the stories we tell ourselves.
• Respecting other people's grief is sometimes difficult since different people can have different grief stories and perspectives over the one who passed away.
• Cat suffered from the fact that she had no place in her partner's family grief story.
• Cat talks about goal setting and gratitude.
• Susan and Cat talk about dating and sex while grieving.
• Grieving people need significant support; they can just go back to work three days after their life is turned upside down.
• Remember the power of storytelling that can work as an element of preparation for someone at any given time.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Cat O'Brien

Follow Cat on LinkedIn

Susan, your host, welcomes Natalie Olson to today's episode. Natalie is a Life and Wellness Coach who focuses on the importance of daily routines, habits, and patterns and how they play a much bigger role in our lives than we think. She specializes in helping bereaved men and women establish a "new normal" after loss that includes balance, happiness, and healing.

Natalie tells us her story of how she tragically lost her best friend at a young age, how her coping impacted her life (both negatively and positively), and how she got to where she is today.

Natalie is the founder and owner of Waves of Change Coaching, and it is her mission to help those who feel trapped in their current season of life step into the life they truly desire. There is so much we cannot control in life, especially death, but by changing the focus to what can be controlled, like our daily thoughts and habits, we reclaim our personal power. It is never too late to change your habits, and change your life.

Key Takeaways:

• Natalie shares her grief story of when she lost her best friend.
• Natalie realized that after the loss of her friend she was falling into different unhealthy habits in order to escape her reality, she was not enjoying anything.
• Sometimes there are no right answers that will help your grief process.
• Coaching saved Natalie, she learned to identify her emotions and expand her toolkit in order to deal with her feelings in a better way.
• Helping others is a great way to help yourself during the darkest moments.
• Susan and Natalie talk about how to deal with holiday parties when grieving.
• Learn to ask for help.
• There is no pressure; no right and wrong for navigating grief.
• Death is completely out of our control, and losing control feels very scary and hopeless; remember you have the choice to do one thing today that helps you heal, and honor what your body and soul are telling you.
• It is OK to be selfish, especially when you are grieving.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Natalie Olson

Visit Waves of Change

Follow Natatlie on Instagram & TikTok

Email Natalie at [email protected]

Susan, your host, welcomes Wendy Lichtenthal to today's episode. Wendy Lichtenthal, Ph.D., FT is the Director of the Bereavement Clinic and a clinical psychologist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. After experiencing loss at an early age, Wendy found herself driven to address the suffering of grieving individuals. As a licensed clinical psychologist, her practice focuses on helping cancer patient helping cancer patients and their families cope with loss and adversity. Over the last two decades, Wendy's federally-funded research has focused on understanding how bereaved individuals find, or struggle to find, meaning in their lives and their loss. This has led to the development of Meaning-Centered Grief Therapy (MCGT), a manualized therapy that aims to enhance bereaved individuals' sense of meaning so that they can learn to co-exist with their grief. MCGT helps grievers recognize their ability to choose their attitude in the face of suffering, to choose how they construct narratives related to their loss, and to choose how they maintain a sense of connection to the person who died. It also assists them with finding their lighthouses in the sea of grief, that is, their "whys" for continuing on, despite their pain.

Key Takeaways:

• Wendy shares her grief story that began during her childhood being "superstitious" and having recurrent thoughts about death.
• Wendy learned to embrace that there is no control over whether you lose someone.
• Things are happening to us all the time, we have the ability to be the narrator of the story and to find the meaning we want these events to have for us.
• No answer will satisfy the question: "Why did this happen to me?" or "What could have I done to prevent it?"
• Find your reasons to move forward.
• You don't need to ask permission to lean on to your story, you own your narrative.
• You can grieve in your own way, it needs to be meaningful to you.
• Susan talks about how grief changed who she was.
• Ask yourself: Who am I now? What matters to me? What did this loss mean to you at this moment? Who was this person to you?
• Wendy talks about how she helps people who are grieving by assisting them in finding and making meaning in their lives using Meaning-Centered Grief Therapy.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Wendy Lichtenthal

Follow Wendy on LinkedIn

Susan, your host, is joined by Liza Spiridon in today's episode. Liza Spiridon is an empathic numerologist, having studied Numerology for over 25 years. She has been using Numerology to help herself and her clients create ease, joy, and abundance even when life is not always a "high vibe."

She also has a deep love for animals and worked in the veterinary field as a veterinary nurse (RVT) for over 10 years, specializing in canine rehab.

She continues to assist her clients by utilizing their strengths and talents. Through Numerology her clients have a deeper understanding of themselves as well as others. Numbers are not just in a person's chart, but in our businesses, home addresses, street names, and much more! Numbers are the window to our true essence!

Key Takeaways:

• Liza shares her most recent grief story when her mother was diagnosed with cancer.
• Liza didn't have the time to really grieve as she needed.
• Liza shares how numerology works on a collective and personal level.
• Susan talks about how each year of her life had a sort of theme, a topic that kept appearing in different forms throughout the year.
• Liza analyzes Susan's numbers.
• Susan remembers when her husband Paul, started to see the numbers 9-11 recurrently and felt it was a bad sign.
• Liza's intention with numerology is to create ease.
• Grief stays with you, it just changes.
• Liza explains how numerology can help people with their grief.
• Liza shares the methodology of her practice as a Numerologist.
• Liza suggests you honor yourself and where you are at any given moment.
• You are not alone in your grief.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Liza Spiridon

Follow Liza on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.