New Ways New You ( Tendrils of Grief- Life After Grief)

Susan, your host, welcomes Amanda Kirkland to today's episode. Amanda is a personal growth coach, and her journey to becoming a personal growth coach started with her own struggles throughout her teenage and adult years; she went through multiple toxic and dysfunctional relationships. Now she's a self-professed practitioner of self-care! A BABE — Balanced, Authentic, Babe, Extraordinaire. Today her life is like 31 flavors of Baskin Robbins ice cream.

Key Takeaways:

• Amanda shares that losing her mother, whom she wasn't in contact with for the past ten years, leaves her confused about how she should feel regarding this loss.

• Amanda and Susan talk about dysfunctional relationships and how they set boundaries to protect themselves and their mental health.

• Holding space in your life for someone who has hurt you in the past is possible under certain conditions that avoid falling into old patterns.

• Let people know that you need to be trusted.

• Take time to learn how to set boundaries and care for yourself.

• Feel your emotions, don't let them sit inside your soul.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

If you find this episode helpful, please donate.

Meet Amanda Kirkland

Visit Amanda's website

Follow Amanda on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Email Amanda at [email protected].

Susan, your host, welcomes Patrick Kucharson to today's episode. Patrick is a B-gift-giver by nature; he runs Better Gift Coach, a free newsletter that is a weekly 1-minute shortcut to always having awesome gift ideas well in advance. Each week, he enjoys sharing a story of the best gift someone has ever received, analyzing it, and providing guidance on how others can replicate it.

Key Takeaways:

• Sometimes all you want is for people to be present.

• Give people the gifts they want to receive, not what you want to give.

• Patrick talks about gifts given in times of crisis; he highlights one of his episodes called What someone grieving really needs.

• Offer three ways in which you could help a grieving person; this way, they could have choices. Some grievers are not ready to tell what they need.

• When thinking of a gift, offer the most lasting value you can offer them.

• Best gifts are often not the most expensive, but they usually are handmade and personally crafted for the receiver.

• If you really want to make an impact, mark the special day in your calendar so that when the anniversary of the event comes, you can make sure this particular person will receive something special from you.

• Patrick lists several presents that could be really impactful for a grieving person.

• Sometimes "I owe you…" gifts could be the best idea; this way, the griever can choose when to collect his or her gift.

• Patrick shares a particular story from a subscriber.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

After the Shock: Getting You Back On the Road to Resilience When Crisis Hits You Head On, by Becky Sansbury

Meet Patrick Kucharson

Learn more about Better Gift Coach Newsletter: The free Better Gift Coach newsletter is a 1-minute-a-week shortcut to always having awesome gift ideas well in advance. Every week, the free newsletter shares an entertaining story of the best gift someone has ever received, analysis on what made it special, and tips on how you can do your own version of that gift. The newsletter has been featured in the New York Times, Real Simple Magazine, and Yahoo!

Susan, your host, welcomes Vanessa Cardenas to today's episode. Vanesa is a highly experienced C-Suite Executive, Mentor, Coach, and Speaker. She holds a degree in Industrial & Organizational Psychology from Baruch College in New York. She is also the founder and CEO of Understanding Ear, LLC, where she empowers individuals and groups to heal from a betrayal, amplify their authenticity, and find love and happiness on their terms. If you're feeling betrayed and could benefit from having a trusted advisor, reach out to Vanessa.

Key Takeaways:

• Vanesa shares how she became a betrayal coach.

• Vanesa realized she was going through betrayal for a purpose.

• There is considerable power in sharing your story.

• There is no expiration date for grief; you keep walking through it.

• Vanesa suggests three different journals: a dumping one, where you can put all your rage in it: one to write your dreams; and then, a beautiful one, where you can pour all your progress into it.

• It is OK not to be OK.

• When you cry, there is an ending. Remember you will heal!

• After betrayal, you need to learn how to trust again.

• Vanesa shares 10 tips:

1. Acknowledge that you are grateful for people to be there for you. You have to communicate what you need.

2. Show up, Be present for those who are grieving (you don't really have to say anything). It is OK not to know what to do but please don't leave a griever alone.

3. Don't compare stories; everybody's grief is different.

4. Ask questions (but not complex ones, a griever's head is not that sharp sometimes).

5. No complaints.

6. Do not be a cheerleader; mirror the feelings of the griever.

7. Don't shame the grievers about the past, present, or future.

8. Hold space for the griever; answer back!

9. Remind the griever that you care about him/her, a griever needs to hear "You can count on me."

10. Be patient, grief is hard.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Donate and support Tendrils of Grief

Meet Vanesa Cardenas

Linktr.ee/VanessaCardenas

Follow Vanessa on Instagram

Read Vanessa's blog

Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partners' Betrayal: What to Do When Your World Falls Apart, by Vanessa Cardenas

Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partner's Betrayal: How to Talk to Your Kids, Parents, In-Laws, Friends, and Others, by Vanesa Cardenas

Susan, your host, welcomes Meghan Smith Brooks to today's episode. Meghan is an Ordained Unity Minister and the author of Unraveling Grief: A Mother's Spiritual Journey of Healing and Discovery, which details her grief experience when she lost her son when he was just 19 years old. Meghan shares how she was able to pull herself out and find a sense of gratitude for this new path she has been set on in this week's episode.

Key Takeaways:

• Meghan shares her grief story and the murder of her son.

• Meghan spent two months walking around like she wasn't in her body.

• How did Meghan find gratitude after she found out about her son's death?

• Meghan is so grateful that she had a spiritual foundation to stand on.

• Pain and loss are part of our human reality.

• Meghan still has moments when she wants to scream.

• Sometimes you have to forgive the people who killed your loved one, not for their sake, but yours.

• You can live in a dark hole when someone you love passes away, but it's up to you to get past that.

• Susan remembers her arguing with her husband about where to go to eat.

• It's a choice to be angry at someone.

• Grief is your teacher. It broke Meghan open.

• When Meghan wrote her book, it helped her oldest son cope.

• It becomes an ongoing blessing when you can be vulnerable and create something beautiful out of your pain.

• How does Meghan spiritually help people in grief?

• Every day you get to choose how you will show up and what you do to make a difference.

• Keep breathing; keep moving forward.

Resources:

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Learn more about Meghan Smith Brooks:

Unityawakeningways.org

Meghan on LinkedIn

Unraveling Grief: A Mother's Spiritual Journey of Healing and Discovery

Susan, your host, welcomes Martha Hunt Handler to today's episode.

Martha is the award-winning author of Winter of the Wolf, a novel that tells the story of Bean, an empathic and spiritually evolved teenage girl who sets out to discover the truth about the mysterious death of her beloved brother and finds herself on a journey of healing and self-discovery.

The novel is inspired by the death of Martha's best friend's 12-year-old son and covers several important themes, including suicide, grief, spirituality, human connection to nature, shamanism, and native Inuit culture. It is an Amazon bestseller and was chosen as a Barnes and Noble Top Indy Pick.

Apart from being a successful author, Martha is an environmentalist and fierce wolf advocate. She serves as the Board President of the Wolf Conservation Center, where 100% of her author proceeds go to support the organization.

Key Takeaways:

• Martha shares her grief story that started when her friend lost her 12-year-old son.

• Martha and Susan talk about signs and how people tend to judge.

• Hospices do the most beautiful job, leading people and their families through their transition out of this life.

• Grievers find it hard to identify what they need and even harder to ask for it.

• Helping a griever sometimes is just showing up. Grievers want to know they are not alone.

• If you don't know what to say to someone grieving, just don't.

• If you are grieving, keep "Grace" in your mind, you will need it.

• Martha talks about her next book.

• When you are grieving, the guilt of moving forward to live the life you want is real.

• Susan got closer to her husband in his last year of life.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Dead to Me, a comedy series

Meet Martha Hunt Handler

Visit Martha's website

Wolf Conservation Center

Winter of the Wolf, by Martha Hunt Handler

Susan, your host, welcomes Tracee Dunblazer. Tracy is a certified grief counselor, a Los Angeles-based empath, a shaman, and a 22-time award-winning author who has spent decades living an alchemical life working with the stone kingdom as a guide. She was born multi-spirited, with a profound innate awareness of the spirit world and deep compassion for all who hurt. Tracee's down-to-Earth style embraces the humor of reality and has helped thousands to find radical acceptance, empowerment, and joy in their lives, no matter where they begin. Her national and international award-winning GoTracee Publishing creates spiritual tools that have become game-changers for those who suffer. Dunblazier is a charismatic keynote speaker and enjoys podcasting from her CHAT-Cast platform and currently serves as President of the Coalition of Visionary Resources, the trade organization for the Mind-Body-Spirit Industry.

Key Takeaways:

• Tracy shares how she started in the fascinating world of being a psychic.

• Grief makes us who we are.

• Drama equals trauma.

• Grief brings beautiful people into your life and also cuts bonds with people you were close to before.

• The power of forgiveness: releasing yourself from bondage that doesn't serve you anymore.

• When you remove someone from your life it is not forever; give yourself permission to walk away.

• Protect your power through effective communication and allow yourself to feel and cry as much as needed.

• Being in grief is like running a marathon; nurture yourself and be prepared for a transformative journey.

• Ask for help; it is part of the grieving process to ask for what you need and protect your space.

• Find a way to let people know what they need to do to support you.

• Trust that there is a deeper connection that is coming for you to inform you about your next step, you don't need to know what is happening next; things are going to change in a way that you could have never imagined.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Tracee Dunblazier

Visit Tracee's website

Transformative Grief: An Ancient Ritual Healing for Modern Times, by Tracee Dunblazier

Follow Tracee on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube

Susan, your host, welcomes Richard John Allen to today's episode. Richard has a mission of dedicating his life to helping others overcome their struggles and find hope and healing, providing support and guidance for anyone experiencing loss. Whether you're struggling with the death of a loved one or other life changes, Richard wants to help people find peace and healing through his books, podcast, or one-on-one coaching to help others navigate their unique challenges.

Key Takeaways:

• Richard shares his grief story.

• Richard and Susan discuss the power of sharing and being vulnerable when grieving.

• Feel free to choose to believe in whatever suits you and make you feel better.

• Richard recalls the signs he received from his father, who passed away.

• Richard shares how he became an author.

• How can you connect with the signs your departed loved one sends you?

• Richard talks about the power of nature to ease your grieving days.

• Some people can't live with the memories.

• Grief is complex (Richard believes grief to be the most complex of all emotions); you will need a lot of help from loved ones, professionals, and also from nature that can accompany you in your grief journey.

• Join Richard in a gratitude prayer.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Richard John Allen

Check Richard's Website

Follow Richard on Instagram and Facebook

Find more about Richard's books

Susan, your host, welcomes Karen Docherty to today's episode. Karen is a psychic medium and mentor. Her mission is to use her ability to bring comfort, understanding, and healing. The loss of a loved one brings with it grief, which leads us to ponder questions about the afterlife. It's something we all experience and endure at one time or another. There are many unanswered questions, but one thing is absolutely certain, your loved ones still care for you and want to look after you as they continue their journey in spirit. Karen is blessed to have the ability to connect and communicate the word of a spirit and to teach others to do the same. When you hear what they have to say, you can begin to live a life free of worry.

Key Takeaways:

• Karen shares her grief story and how she became a psychic medium.

• Karen addresses the fear some people feel about psychic mediums.

• When someone is in spirit, what is the number one thing they want to transmit to the person still alive? 'I am here, I am still with you'.

• You need to move forward; many people get stuck in grief.

• Karen shares some of her emotionally mobilizing psychic experiences connecting with the spirits of the ones who passed.

• Karen talks about the grief those who passed have to experience too.

• There is no normal in grieving; your grief is unique; follow the path that helps you better soothe your soul.

• Karen does in-person and online readings.

• You can connect with the ones who passed through meditation, ask to connect with them, and create that space for your loved ones to connect.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Karen Docherty

Visit Karen's website

Susan, your host, welcomes Stephanie Sarazin. Stephanie is a writer, researcher, and experiential expert in ambiguous grief. Her work began with her own experience of mid-life trauma, which sparked an ambitious journey — spiritually and around the world — to understand, name, and heal the grief she found within her. Her efforts revealed a first-of-its-kind definition for "ambiguous grief," whereby grief is onset by the loss of a loved one who is still living and wherein the experience of hope presents as a stage of the grieving process. Stephanie's work brings new resources to reframe disruptive, activating events as a gateway to discovering your highest self, in turn championing ambiguous grief as nuanced, natural, and navigable. Stephanie is also the founder of Rise Up Rooted, an online resource center for those navigating ambiguous grief, a grief educator, and a TEDx curator in her community. She is a graduate of Michigan State University and earned a Master of Public Policy from The University of Chicago. She is an avid reader, recreational runner, and aspiring camper, and lives in North Carolina, where she is training to trek to Mt. Everest's Base Camp. Her book, Soulbroken: A Guide for Your Journey Through Ambiguous Grief, is published by Balance, an imprint of Grand Central Publishing, and was released in October 2022. It is currently available for order at Barnes & Nobel, Amazon, or your favorite independent bookseller.

Key Takeaways:

• Stephanie shares her grief story that started when she discovered that she was living in a marriage that was not what she thought it was.

• Ambiguous loss: Losing a loved one but not necessarily through death.

• Share your story; someone will benefit from it; you are not alone. It is an honor to share your story and to the listeners to hear it.

• Shame cannot grow when there is empathy.

• When talking to someone grieving, avoid starting sentences with 'At least…" since you are probably about to give a consolation prize that won't be appreciated.

• We are not taught how to show up for others. If you don't know what to say, try: "Thank you for telling me, I am glad you told me." This is a way of validating someone's grief.

• Sometimes holding hope can restrict healing and delay acceptance.

• Define what you have control over; focusing on what is possible for you to change will bring you closer to healing.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Meet Stephanie

Learn more about Stephanie

Find her book Soulbroken: A Guidebook For Your Journey Through Ambiguous Grief at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Susan, your host, welcomes Michelle Pfile to today's episode. Michelle is a health wellness, business mentor, and podcast host who helps women create positive changes in their lives by elevating them physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. After struggling with a PCOS diagnosis for much of her life, she made drastic changes to improve her lifestyle that helped her completely transform her health, mind, and body. Speaking on topics such as holistic health, intermittent fasting, mindset shifts, network marketing, and grief, Michelle has a plethora of expertise and speaks about it in a way that just makes sense.

Key Takeaways:

• Michelle shares her grief story.

• Michelle and Susan talk about how it feels to be grieving the memories we won't have with our loved ones who passed away.

• Michelle shares how her background helped her with her grieving experience: Mindset goes first.

• "I don't want to feel this way anymore."

• Michelle talks about how stress and sorrow affect our physical bodies.

• Susan and Michelle talk about how their mindsets shifted as a result of practicing gratitude.

• How to avoid toxic positivity.

• Know where you are and be OK with that.

• Michelle explains how to Stair Step to the next place. (Recognize your small wins and celebrate them.)

• Change your mind and give yourself what you need.

• Meditation is a fantastic way of interrupting a thinking pattern that no longer serves you.

• Grieving is strictly connected to our overall health.

• Someone's death can be traumatic to you. Deal with the trauma of the loss.

• Susan and Michelle share how they dealt with the pain of grieving initially.

• No matter what you are going through, it will become a precious part of your healing journey and personal growth.

• Death can also become a gift.

• Try a little slice of gratitude, it will make you feel better.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

The Magic, Rhonda Byrne

Meet Michelle Pfile

Check Michelle Pfile's website

Follow Michelle on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Listen to Michelle's podcast: In Total Alignment