June 26, 2023

Death As Betrayal with Vanesa

47 minutes

Susan, your host, welcomes Vanessa Cardenas to today’s episode. Vanesa is a highly experienced C-Suite Executive, Mentor, Coach, and Speaker. She holds a degree in Industrial & Organizational Psychology from Baruch College in New York. She is also the founder and CEO of Understanding Ear, LLC, where she empowers individuals and groups to heal from a betrayal, amplify their authenticity, and find love and happiness on their terms. If you’re feeling betrayed and could benefit from having a trusted advisor, reach out to Vanessa.

Key Takeaways:

Vanesa shares how she became a betrayal coach.
Vanesa realized she was going through betrayal for a purpose.
There is considerable power in sharing your story.
There is no expiration date for grief; you keep walking through it.
Vanesa suggests three different journals: a dumping one, where you can put all your rage in it: one to write your dreams; and then, a beautiful one, where you can pour all your progress into it.
It is OK not to be OK.
When you cry, there is an ending. Remember you will heal!
After betrayal, you need to learn how to trust again.
Vanesa shares 10 tips:

Acknowledge that you are grateful for people to be there for you. You have to communicate what you need.
Show up, Be present for those who are grieving (you don’t really have to say anything). It is OK not to know what to do but please don't leave a griever alone.
Don't compare stories; everybody’s grief is different.
Ask questions (but not complex ones, a griever’s head is not that sharp sometimes).
No complaints.
Do not be a cheerleader; mirror the feelings of the griever.
Don’t shame the grievers about the past, present, or future.
Hold space for the griever; answer back!
Remind the griever that you care about him/her, a griever needs to hear “You can count on me.”
Be patient, grief is hard.

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]

Donate and support Tendrils of Grief

Meet Vanesa Cardenas

Linktr.ee/VanessaCardenas

Follow Vanessa on Instagram

Read Vanessa’s blog

Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partners' Betrayal: What to Do When Your World Falls Apart, by Vanessa Cardenas

Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partner's Betrayal: How to Talk to Your Kids, Parents, In-Laws, Friends, and Others, by Vanesa Cardenas

...more

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By Susan Ways

4.7

6565 ratings

June 26, 2023

Death As Betrayal with Vanesa

47 minutes

Key Takeaways:

Vanesa shares how she became a betrayal coach.
Vanesa realized she was going through betrayal for a purpose.
There is considerable power in sharing your story.
There is no expiration date for grief; you keep walking through it.
Vanesa suggests three different journals: a dumping one, where you can put all your rage in it: one to write your dreams; and then, a beautiful one, where you can pour all your progress into it.
It is OK not to be OK.
When you cry, there is an ending. Remember you will heal!
After betrayal, you need to learn how to trust again.
Vanesa shares 10 tips:

Acknowledge that you are grateful for people to be there for you. You have to communicate what you need.
Show up, Be present for those who are grieving (you don’t really have to say anything). It is OK not to know what to do but please don't leave a griever alone.
Don't compare stories; everybody’s grief is different.
Ask questions (but not complex ones, a griever’s head is not that sharp sometimes).
No complaints.
Do not be a cheerleader; mirror the feelings of the griever.
Don’t shame the grievers about the past, present, or future.
Hold space for the griever; answer back!
Remind the griever that you care about him/her, a griever needs to hear “You can count on me.”
Be patient, grief is hard.