Nightly News Roundup

By Jason Thompson

A news headline show for people who love to hate the news and hate to love the news.

Art by Cory Drake.

Hosted on Acast. See

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FAQs about Nightly News Roundup:

How many episodes does Nightly News Roundup have?

The podcast currently has 310 episodes available.

Nightly News Roundup episodes:

September 11, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Sept. 11, 2025
Tonight: Inflation climbs, jobs crumble, and the Fed preps its economic murder-suicide. Russian drones play bumper cars over NATO turf. Epstein secrets stay sealed while the Senate pretends democracy’s fine. Racist cowards terrorize Black colleges. Another school shooting, another round of empty prayers. 9/11 memorials roll on while the same bastards who weaponized it ask us to “never forget.” America’s bleeding out, folks.

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6min
September 10, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Sept. 10, 2025
Tonight: Charlie Kirk finds out bullets don’t care about your politics. Another school shooting, another round of thoughts and prayers on autopilot. Russian drones play nuclear hide-and-seek over Poland. Trump turns the FBI into his personal fear factory. Schumer dares Republicans to pick troops over Epstein secrets. New Mexico funds free child care with oil money while other states hoard tax cuts like raccoons in a dumpster. Kids can’t read, politicians can’t govern, and federal agents arrest firefighters mid-blaze. It’s America in 4D - dumb, deadly, dystopian, and definitely on fire.
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5min
September 10, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Sept. 9, 2025
Tonight: Israel lights the peace process on fire like a drunk pyromaniac at a marriage counseling session. Iran lets the U.N. in to count corpses in the fallout. Very cooperative, very transparent. Gregory “Pancho Villa in a Golf Cart” Bovino goose-steps into Chicago with a soundtrack Willie Nelson never approved. ICE tears up the paperwork, decides civil rights are for losers. Trump’s tariffs choke the economy while automation sharpens its knives. Oh, and the president allegedly sent Epstein a porno birthday card before calling it a “dead issue.” Democracy dies, but the punchlines keep coming.
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5min
September 08, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Sept. 8, 2025
SCOTUS kidnaps you for Spanish coffee, Trump owes $83M, GOP spins Epstein faster than a carnival ride, CMS uses robot bounty hunters, assassin wants trial by mini-golf, NFL heartbreak continues, and Trump gets booed at the U.S. Open. Theo Jesterfield here, pouring chaos, money, and American absurdity straight into your ears.

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6min
September 05, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Sept. 4, 2025
The CDCaeser Bobby Kennedy Jr. gets his ass kicked , the Epstein cover-up continues, Adams trading NYC Mayor’s office for swamp condos, the economy is flatlining, Texas turns doorbells into war crimes, Big Pharma is dosing LSD, and NFL kicks off while democracy circles the drain. Theo Jesterfield here, pouring you another shot of America’s finest chaos - money, power, and total lunacy.
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5min
September 04, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Sept. 3, 2025
Epstein victims demand names, Trump hoax patrols, FBI hides files. RFK Jr. crowned, HHS revolts. Newsmax sues Fox, drunk raccoons. Pentagon lawyers crash-course immigration law. Harvard body-slams Trump. 1798 law fails modern migrants. DeSantis makes vaccines optional, herd immunity optional. Clippers dodge salary cap. Fantasy football consumes offices, homes, marriages. Theo Jesterfield here, spitting battery acid.

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7min
September 03, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Sept. 2, 2025
Trump tries to Uber Marines into L.A., gets smacked by Posse Comitatus. National Guard tour hits Chicago and Baltimore. DOE hires fossil fuel stooges to claim CO₂ is kale. CDC bleeds leaders, Monarez out, RFK Jr. “restructures.” Government heads for Sept. 30 shutdown, Epstein files rot. Rudy wins Medal of Freedom. Proud Boys sue each other. Space Command lands in Alabama. Theo Jesterfield here, from the Bureau of Bad Ideas.
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6min
August 28, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 27, 2025
Minnesota mourns kids shot in the pews while politicians wave flags. DOJ fails to make a felony out of a footlong. Immigration becomes Deportation 2: The Uganda Cut. Trump’s cronies whisper coups in Greenland. NORAD scrambles jets to babysit Russian cloud-watchers. RFK Jr. limits Covid shots to senior citizens. And the CDC fires its new director after 30 days. Theo Jesterfield here, reporting from the Bureau of Bad Ideas.

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6min
August 27, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 26, 2025
The government dumps your Social Security numbers online. Trump’s DOJ tries suing judges for judging. Israel bombs a hospital, calls it a camera strike. Florida’s swamp prison keeps running despite court orders. Texas gerrymanders Black voters out of the map. Trump waterboards the Federal Reserve. And Kash Patel turns the FBI into QAnon Theater. Theo Jesterfield here, filing dispatches from the three-ring circus of government: money, power, and bullshit.
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5min
August 25, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 25, 2025
Israel calls a hospital strike a “mishap.” Trump sends the National Guard to play mall cops in D.C. First U.S. screwworm case proves maggots are more straightforward than our politicians. Trump flirts with Kim while South Korea watches in hostage silence. Epstein’s ghost gets subpoenaed. Cashless bail dies, flag-burning goes federal. Trump says “dictator” out loud. Wind farms scrapped to save his golf view. Theo Jesterfield, signing off from America’s scrapyard.

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6min

FAQs about Nightly News Roundup:

How many episodes does Nightly News Roundup have?

The podcast currently has 310 episodes available.