Nightly News Roundup

By Jason Thompson

A news headline show for people who love to hate the news and hate to love the news.

Art by Cory Drake.

Hosted on Acast. See

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FAQs about Nightly News Roundup:

How many episodes does Nightly News Roundup have?

The podcast currently has 310 episodes available.

Nightly News Roundup episodes:

August 22, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 22, 2025
Bolton raided like spoiled leftovers. Trump day-trading America’s future with a $100M bond hustle. PragerU bribes its way into kids’ classrooms, Big Bird gets whacked. Smithsonian purged for “woke” facts. Fort Bliss resurrects internment camp chic. Del Monte, LifeScan, and Genesis file for hospice. America’s economy is a funeral procession, but Wall Street’s still dancing. Theo Jesterfield reporting from under the national coffin lid.
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7min
August 21, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 21, 2025
Trump’s fraud gets a markdown: skyscrapers are cheaper than cough syrup. NIH loses 1,700 grants because DEI means “Don’t Employ Ideas.” Jersey’s top cop? Just a mall lawyer in heels. ICE threatens Boston, Wu says “fuck off.” FBI becomes UberCop Academy. Russia bombs coffee machines and kids. Cracker Barrel ghosts its racist mascot, Wall Street cries. Until next time, I’ll be huffing glue fumes for insight. Theo Jesterfield reporting from inside America’s clown car.
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5min
August 21, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 20, 2025
Epstein’s DOJ crumbs, 100,000 pages still sealed. Tulsi Gabbard turns intelligence into Microsoft Word for espionage. Israel rolls out “Gideon’s Chariots II” — Gaza as straight-to-DVD war. Texas gerrymanders democracy into a hostage trunk. Hurricane Erin toys with Cat 5 power. U.S. destroyers play narco-Shakespeare off Venezuela. Texas judge says no to Moses in homeroom. Until next time, I’ll be convincing myself to stop sniffing glue. Theo Jesterfield reporting.
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5min
August 20, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 19, 2025
Ukraine peace talks look like a peyote séance in a burning casino — Trump babbles, Putin grins, Zelensky spends billions, Europe mutters peacekeepers, America offers air cover but no boots. Trump wants a halo at Costco. Colleges pay tribute to the Orange Godfather. Epstein files redacted. Security clearances yanked. Deportation policy becomes a global hot potato. Until next time, I’ll be doubling down on 11 and Xanax. Theo Jesterfield reporting.
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6min
August 19, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 18, 2025
Zelensky shows up at the White House in a suit, Europe in tow, Trump grinning like a kid eyeing a Happy Meal Nobel. Hours earlier, 14 civilians dead in Ukraine—rockets meet roses, rubble meets reality. Wages still drowning, CEOs toast from yachts. Newsmax pays $67M for lies, Epstein’s death still under Barr’s CSI spotlight, and Hurricane Erin redecorates Puerto Rico. Republicans flee, files in tow, shame waiting.

That’s all the news that’s fit to confuse. Another day in the American madhouse, keep your seatbelt fastened. Theo Jesterfield reporting.

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5min
August 15, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 14, 2025
The Vice President Vladimir Futon tried to book a table at a cozy Michelin-rated English pub — staff basically said, “Sure, if you want us to not show up for work.” Locals put up “Fascists Not Welcome” signs, making it clear he’s about as popular there as French soccer. Kamala? No problem. Vance? Road closures and rage.

That’s all the news that’s fit to confuse. Another day in the American madhouse, keep your seatbelt fastened. For Nightly News Roundup, I’m Theo Jesterfield.

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5min
August 14, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 13, 2025
Trump’s got Scrooge McDuck money privileges, Putin got a ceasefire threat that might just be a meme, and the Treasury Secretary’s still clinging to his stocks like a bad Tinder match. Congress is cosplaying as the Epstein Truth Squad, the VA is bleeding staff, Kristi Noem is beefing with South Park, Ivanka’s booking UFC on the White House lawn, and Detroit seniors are solving love triangles with live ammo.

Theo Jesterfield here, wading through cash vaults, cage fights, and bingo shootouts - all in a day’s work for America’s slow, stupid descent.

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5min
August 13, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 12, 2025
Tonight: Russia’s hacking America’s sealed court files while Trump preps for a Putin cuddle; Trump’s new BLS pick wants to kill the monthly jobs report; Florida’s schools turned into DeSantis’ propaganda playground; and Trump’s State Department wipes two-thirds of human rights abuses from its reports. Plus, ICE agents in masks are making it easier for rapists to impersonate them. I’m Theo Jesterfield, reporting from the bunker with enough vodka to kill half of Moscow.

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6min
August 12, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 11, 2025
Trump’s turning D.C. into The Purge despite a 30-year crime low, dumping troops, and handing Pam Bondi the keys to chaos. Meanwhile, FBI brags murder rates are historic lows. Florida’s “pet food” milk sickens kids. An anti-vax shooter hits the CDC. EPA guts climate rules. SCOTUS flirts with undoing gay marriage. Epstein files? Big nothing burger. Theo Jesterfield reporting from the 10th Circle of hell.
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7min
August 07, 2025 Nightly News Roundup for Aug. 6, 2025
Trump ghosted labor unions at the VA while RFK Jr. lit pandemic funding on fire because his third eye said “no thanks.” Utah legalized “oops-my-nephew’s-a-predator” justice, and Trump thinks world peace means locking Zelensky and Putin in a room like it’s the WWE. An Army base imploded, Trump threw a trade tantrum at India, and Florida’s building immigrant jails in the middle of the Everglades like Mother Nature ain’t got lawyers.

Theo Jesterfield reporting from the swamp—literal and political.

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5min

FAQs about Nightly News Roundup:

How many episodes does Nightly News Roundup have?

The podcast currently has 310 episodes available.