This week’s contenders: Cupid vs. Hawkeye, Receiving chocolates vs. Receiving lingerie, Braggy Couples vs. Bitter singles, Never giving you up vs. Never letting you down.

This week’s contenders: Guy Fieri’s Hair vs. Goatee, Dancing like nobody’s watching vs. Loving like you’ve never been hurt, Top Chef vs. Hell’s Kitchen, Long lines vs. Unpopped Ears.

This week’s contenders: Anthropomorphized Animals vs. Items, Weak Toilet Paper vs. Chewing Chalk, Frasier vs. Family Matters, Glittered Sweat vs. Follow That Car.

This week’s contenders: Rita Skeeter vs. Skeeter Valentine, All spoiled movies vs. No recommended movies, Milkshake vs. Cappuccino, Commander Shepard vs. Captain Kirk.

This week’s contenders: LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S Hologram Moon vs. Lizard Overlords, Pirate vs. Lost Boy, Ride vs. Drive, Training Luke vs. Anakin.

This week’s contenders: Full House Xmas vs. Home Improvement Xmas, Rooty-toot-toots vs. Rummy-tum-tums, Tinsel vs. Wrapping Paper, TV specials vs. Xmas movies, A Xmas Carol vs. A Xmas Story, Hermie the Elf vs. Bernard the Elf.

This week’s contenders: Mannheim Steamroller vs. Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Krampus vs Santa, Eidetic memory vs. Limited precognition, No presents but family vs. Presents but alone.

This week’s contenders: Chewbacca vs. Chewing tobacco, Joker vs. Jackass, Isolation vs. Eternal repetition, Ruby slippers vs. Rubeus Hagrid.

This week’s contenders: Turkey vs. Ham, Connected movement vs. Connected speech, Half your height vs. Twice your weight, Garfield vs. Dilbert.

This week’s contenders: AN IMPORTANT UPDATE, Tramp stamp vs. Belly button piercing, New car smell vs. Euphoric fire smell, No bad drivers vs. No lines, Sharingan eyes vs. Cyclops eyes.