No-Budget Nightmares

Uh oh! Something has Moe and Doug PEEVED. Yes, it's the rantiest episode of No-Budget Nightmares EVER as the pair tangle with a viewer-picked movie that proves to be a blizzard of ignorance and threatens to break their resolve to tiny bits. At first WOMEN'S STUDIES seems like it'll merely be innocently dumb and misguided, but soon a free-flowing river of misogyny spews all over the faces and groins of your beloved hosts. There's only one solution.. EVISCERATION! It's NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES vs the MRAs in the BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!

Johnny Dickie wrote, directed and starred in SLAUGHTER TALES when he was 14.

In case you missed that, let me write it again: Johnny Dickie wrote, directed and starred in SLAUGHTER TALES when he was *14*. The hosts of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES are both TWENTY years older than that, which makes them very, very sad to think about. They've decided to express their anger, frustration and jealousy by ripping into the ONE-MAN-BAND anthology, while occasionally pausing to tell Johnny to GET OFF THEIR LAWNS. It's a supremely silly new episode of NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES!

Fresh off the success of 1987's CANNIBAL HOOKERS and 1989's SCREAM DREAM, Donald Farmer decided to meld together HORROR and ACTION and came up with a cop that TAKES A BITE OUT OF CRIME! And this Vampire Cop *SUCKS*! Moe and Doug say FANGS for the memories as they BAT their eyelids at the numerous unclothed boys and GHOULS. OTHER PUNS! So much is at STAKE! DUELING RAY ROMANO IMPRESSIONS! This episode has it ALL. Enjoy VAMPIRE COP!

DON'T KILL THE ZOMBIES! LEAVE THE ZOMBIES ALONE!

Assemble your ZOMBIE SQUAD, ladies and gents, because it's time to dip back into the J.R. Bookwalter tub and experience the delightful dose of Super-8 zombie goodness that is 1989's THE DEAD NEXT DOOR. STRAIGHT OUTTA AKRON, it's one of the most well known - and well loved - microbudget films EVER, and Moe and Doug hungrily lap it up and ask for SECONDS. It's GOOD and GOOD FOR YOU. YUMMO

Are you ready? CAN you be ready? TODD SHEETS is here, and Moe and Doug are about to enter his HOUSE OF FORBIDDEN SECRETS before ALL OF YOU SUCKERS! That's right! It might not be available to the general public yet, but OUR HOSTS ARE SPECIAL and they get to see things *nobody* else can see. It's got GEORGE HARDY. It'se got LLOYD KAUFMAN. It's got FABIO (F**CKING) FRIZZI. It's got DYANNE THORNE. We've got TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD! It's a SHEETSTRAVAGANZA and it's all for you. Stick around to the end for Roo's amazing HOUSE OF FORBIDDEN SECRETS song. LICK IT UP!

It's a Wascavage FAMILY AFFAIR! That's right! From the creator of SUBURBAN SASQUATCH and MALEVOLENT ASCENT comes FUNGICIDE, a "special"-effects packed horror comedy that's fun(?!) for the whole family! If you thought the effects in SS were something, you ain't seen NOTHING yet. We have puppets. We have paper mache heads. We have PEOPLE IN MUSHROOM COSTUMES. We have computer wizardry! It's enough to make Doug and Moe cry out in pain/delight. And it's all here on Episode 58 of the No-Budget Nightmares podcast.

IT'S THE JUSTICE LEAGUE OF SOV! The *BEST OF THE BEST* have assembled to form a VOLTRON of microbudget AWESOMENESS!

HI-8 is an anthology film that brings together a WHO'S WHO of no-budget directors: Ron Bonk, Donald Farmer, Marcus Koch, Tony Masiello, Tim Ritter, Chris Seaver, Todd Sheets and Brad Sykes! Eight stories (plus a wraparound), and Moe and Doug are in SOV-HEAVEN! CAN YOU HANDLE IT? Can our HOSTS handle it?! ORGAN MEAT! VHS! TODD SHEEEEEEEETS!

Welcome to the FUTURE! Or, at least, to the first No-Budget Nightmares episode of 2015!

And it's not just ANY episode, it's a super special treat for both the audience *and* Moe and Doug as our hosts get PUMPED UP by Astron-6's immortal MANBORG. Sensational, inspirational AND celebrational, MANBORG is the most rootin' tootin rollickin' good time our hosts have had since their last Todd Sheets marathon, and with full hearts and open minds they are setting their sights on the next 365 days.. and beyond!

BORN IN THE USA! Yes, after a lengthy international excursion to Germany and Japan, No-Budget Nightmares is back on home (?) soil for our two eternally jetlagged hosts to enjoy Jim Haggerty's 2003 vampire-comedy I DREAM OF DRACULA. Here's a fun drinking game: Every time Doug says "shit", you should throw back a shot. You'll be immediately wasted, which might be the only way to enjoy this ode to bad acting, worse story and some of the most unpleasant nudity either of our hosts have experienced. Fangs for the memories, I DREAM OF DRACULA!

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. This episode is PLENTY late, due to some persistent sound issues meaning it had to be recorded TWICE. Yes, TWICE! That means that Doug and Moe had to extract themselves from the slime (and maggots, and organ meat) of 1985's GUINEA PIG and then hop right back into it again. And it's all for you! Was the second time a charm? SORT OF! You get discussion of Moe's work soundtrack, the upcoming American Guinea Pig film, some incomprehensible sound clips, Doug with a cold, Moe running on no sleep, and there may have been some snuggling. I can't remember. Apologies for any sound quality issues that still remain, and stay tuned for another amazing song from Roo.