No Crying In Baseball

It’s the day after the end of the 2020 World Series and Patti and the Pottymouth are super tired, a little hungover, and very stressed.  It’s a good time for a rant. Pottymouth is beside herself with Kevin Cash’s decision to pull Blake Snell while he was still dealing. Patti tries to play devil’s advocate but can’t even convince herself. There’s a failed attempt at both Bonnie Tyler and  Kim Carnes songs. The rant really gets rolling over Justin Turner’s behavior after learning he tested positive for the coronavirus. We SAID it wasn’t a bubble. We SAID COVID would end the season. We hate being right. MLB is investigating Turner’s behavior as he ignored MLB security and went back out to celebrate with his teammates and their families, eventually maskless.  Celebration or superspreader?  On top of all of that, Patti missed free taco day, brought to you by two-time taco guy Pookie Betts.  Hurry on over to the More than Baseball auction to bid on game worn cleats to support minor league ballplayers, since MLB doesn’t.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay away from Justin Turner. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Brett Phillips of dance off, mom jokes, clipboard, and oh yeah, a walk off hit in World Series Game 4 fame, is the hero we need right now. Randy Arozarena broke multiple post-season records this week, but the thing we will remember is the grin on his face while slapping home plate after the tuck and roll. Austin Barnes’ crazy stat of a homerun and safety squeeze on one WS game encourages Patti to talk bunt and define safety vs suicide squeezes. Kershaw’s stellar performance in G5 will be most memorable for catching Margot trying to steal home -- encouraging Patti to define balk, and explain just how much went into that play.

If you squint, the entire Dodgers squad is made up of Pottymouth boyfriends past and present. Kiké, Pookie, Justin and Max are all making their mark.  Joctober is picking up a little momentum so Patti’s BF is checking in as well.  Patti’s Rays BF Brandon Lowe drops an f-bomb, attracting attention from Pottymouth, and gets his mojo back. Julio Urias is never going to be a boyfriend. Pete Seat received an excused absence from the Commissioner for breaking his World Series attendance streak, and then got to go to his 15th in a row anyway.

Pottymouth’s CPBL team, the UniLions, made the Taiwan Series, scoring us each autographed MonkeyBalls from our pal Clive Hsu and a team dance for all their fans. Those games start as soon as the World Series ends, with the KBO hot on their heels. Be sure to check out Pottymouth’s Google Doc with the regularly updated guidance on how to watch Winter Ball in Latin America.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Friend of the show, Holly Simonette, is the only human we know personally who has attended an MLB game in person this season. She joins us to tell us about her (death-defying) visit to Globe Life Field, including confrontations with both that f’n chop, and possibly rattlesnake-based concessions.

Pottymouth uses her teacher’s voice in our annual vocabulary lesson about “Games Seven,” which we enjoy saying and really enjoy watching. The Rays are suddenly America’s Team and getting framed as Good triumphing over Evil. Patti’s BF Brandon Lowe may finally be getting out of his post season slump (now would be great). Pottymouth celebrates ALCS MVP Randy Arozarena.  The NLCS game 7 was the battle of the Pottymouth bfs, and provided one more opportunity to pick on amazing athlete Cody Bellinger. And then we make predictions, which are weirdly identical.

The CPBL and KBO are winding up and hijinks ensue, begging the question "funny? or dick move?" and Winter Leagues are just getting started. The posting period -- the time when Korean teams are able to make their players available to MLB teams -- has been postponed due to the pandemic. The soon-to-be announced Player’s Choice award winners are loaded with NCiB boyfriends, surprising no one.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

It turns out that strong and steady won out over magic and momentum in the Division Series.  We are grateful to Mike Brosseau for a moment of poetic justice as he hit the series winning homer off of Aroldis Chapman.  We will miss the joy that the Padres bandwagon brought to us and yet we hopped on the Rays train pretty fast after the dance off.  Patti learns how to pronounce Arozarena, because Pottymouth already called dibs on next year’s boyfriend so we’ll be saying it a lot. We examine our biases around Manny Machado and Cody Bellinger. 

We applaud the Supreme Court decision to let the minor league case proceed as a class action suit for minimum wage for players. There are rants around the Appalachian League now being a collegiate wooden bat play-for-free league, and a why the heck are fans going to be in the stands for the NLCS and WS rant. We like the Dodgers Drive in much better.  And then there is heartbreak. The soon-to-be-ex-wife of Patti’s very first baseball boyfriend, Omar Vizquel, has publicly accused him of abuse. The red wine and talk therapy are helping, and we believe women, so we have to work through the pain. We are dealing with A Lot Of Stuff.

We can always count on International Baseball.  Turns out the CPBL is not as over as we thought.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome artist, writer, and baseball fan Anika Orrock to tell us about her vintage style baseball illustrations, and the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum art show and benefit. Through October 10th, a percentage of your purchase from any of 100 artists helps raise funds for this important museum.

In that crazy week of Wildcard games, what the hell happened to Bieber? What happened to the runner on second? How about that Bauer gem that was still a 1 run loss in 13 innings? The Padres 9 pitcher bullpen game shut out of the Cards sending them to their first playoffs since 1998?  How about Bottom Feeders as best nickname?  This week’s division series games feature a contentious As vs Asterisks, in Dodger Stadium no less, the Rays “We don’t like them” vs. the Yankees “It’s mutual”, sharing the same hotel, the magical Padres vs the solid as a rock Dodgers, and Atlanta vs the momentum-fueled Marlins.

In cross-training COVID-19 news, Cam Newton AND fake Cam Newton both test positive, and at least 24 college football games are postponed. Patti suggests that the BWA calls the MVP award the “Washington Football Team” until they can formally rename it after Frank Robinson.

In the world of playoff-bound boyfriends past and present, Tatis Jr. gives an epic bat flip and shares history with Eric Hosmer. Pottymouth continues to warm up to Sabathia, as he wins the battle of the CCs by smacking down Carlos Correa’s trash talk. Patti’s Padres bf Josh Naylor scores 5 hits in his first 5 playoff plate appearances, only he plays for Cleveland now. Miguel Rojas is the one shining star left on her boyfriend roster. And Pottymouth’s CPBL bf Lin An-Ko is the youngest player to 30 HRs, and on his way to break the league record.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Hard to believe, but we got through the whole dang season. Patti and the Pottymouth give you their good, bad, and ugly of how it went, should it have gone? And what about all those new rules?  It felt like a lot more guys were injured, but also a lot more got their call ups. Hunter Pence retires and we wish him well. This crazy Wildcard Week is just beginning so we try to lay it all out for you. We even make a few predictions with absolutely no conviction whatsoever.

MLB gives staff election day off in hopes they will volunteer to work the polls. Fenway, Nats Park, Camden Yards, Comerica, and Dodger Stadium will all be early voting sites. But you have to live in the city to go there, you can’t just go to Fenway to vote if you, hypothetically, live outside of DC, Pottymouth.

For those downplaying the lasting effects of COVID, Eduardo Rodriquez was just cleared to start walking. Walking. Yoan Moncada hit his first homer in a month and says his energy is just starting to feel normal again post COVID-19. Bradford William Davis investigated that promise made by MLB to offer testing to front line workers in MLB cities as part of its protocols and plans. The results are not good.

Did you have “power outage” on your list of reasons to delay a ballgame in 2020? Did you have Andrew Stevenson hitting two homers off of Jacob DeGrom? Do you believe that Thom Brennaman has made “Heartfelt efforts at reconciliation with LGBTQ community” ? Boyfriends Bobby Dalbec, Juan Soto, Freddie Freeman, Jose Ramirez, and DJ LeMahieu are finishing the season strong, and may we please have Statcast on the Willson Contreras batflip?

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome Marla from the Mansplain Baseball Elsewhere podcast to talk Atlanta baseball. We share some Freddie love, talk changing problematic team names, and feel tremendously old as our Jethro Tull jokes fall flat. 

Playoffs are a week away so we get you prepped with the layout of the rounds, seeding, and quarantine rules.  They aren’t bubbles, they are neutral sites with protocols. Will there be fans in the stands for the World Series? It’s Texas, so who knows?  What are the pros and cons of the expanded playoffs? Big Papi gives a personal COVID-19 PSA, and now even dangerous air quality from wildfires is creating public health havoc for baseball.  We balance the disappointing Verlander Tommy John news with the happy of Rippkin Penn Holt joining the Brockstar family.  It’s the last week of the regular season, can we please let Brock Holt catch?

Pottymouth’s former bad boy BF Josh Donaldson is ejected after hitting a tater, because kicking dirt on home plate is the only way umpires suffer consequences for bad calls.  Patti tries not to take it personally that a slew of former boyfriends, who slumped during their relationship, are having banner seasons now, like Jose Ramirez and the string of multihomer games.  The CPBL standings are still too close to call, but the important thing is Pottymouth is rocking a new Lions jersey.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Zack Wheeler proves what we’ve been saying all along.  Pants are dangerous. Not as dangerous as ticking off Dodger fans, who trolled the visiting Asterisks by land, air, and art. The legendary Vin Scully is auctioning off his extensive collection of memorabilia in order to make a meaningful charitable donation, and leave the kids and grandkids a little something. This year’s Roberto Clemente Day saw Puerto Rican players, and the whole Pirates team, wearing number 21, and a call for that number to be retired league-wide. 

There was a blip in the consecutive days since a player tested positive for COVID-19 run, causing two Giants-Padres games to be postponed, but now the Giants say maybe a false positive? The Playoff Bubble locations have been decided, San Diego -- Los Angeles for the American League and Houson -- Arlington for the National League.  Globe Life Field wins the World Series because it is shiny, new, and centrally located for maximum TV ratings. Some details around the edges regarding inclusion of family members are still subject to MLBPA approval.

Pottymouth’s Red Soxs boyfriend Bobby “Bomb” Dalbec can’t stop hitting homers. Patti’s Twins BF Willians Astudillo is finally back from the COVID IL and then the alternate site and hit his first. Trea Turner’s mom is our new mom boyfriend (can we have those?) with fact-checking Twitter regarding Trea’s accomplishments, being the one person Trea thinks actually cares if he wins the batting title, and for using “chocolate brownies” as a code word. Isan Diaz opts back in with the Marlins. Luis Arráez, Matt Chapman, patron saint Sean Doolittle, and maybe JT Realmuto are all out with injuries, some of which are season-ending since we’ve only got two more weeks.  Francisco Lindor was fined for smiling at Sergio Romo, who was suspended and fined for not liking it.

In the CPBL, it is still too close to call in the standings, and possibly a dead-heat in the mascot game as well. Dimple Cannon Jr. is as cute as can be in his MVP dance with his dad. Cuban baseball begins under the watchful eye of the Public Health Ministry, with careful protocols, no fans in the stands, and a YouTube channel. Roberto Alomar’s RA12 joins Puerto Rico’s Roberto Clemente League, and immediately becomes Patti’s team to pit against Pottymouth’s Gigantes de Carolina. Manny Ramirez joins the Sydney Blue Sox and we need the shirt.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti and the Pottymouth talk all things Cardinals with guest Tara Wellman, co-host of the Chirps and Gateway to Baseball Heaven podcasts. Tara takes us through the aftermath of the COVID-19 shutdown, the responsibility of national media to get the facts straight, baseball towns, and “The Cardinal Way.”

We look at the lightning rod that is Yadier Molina, and the resurgence of Cy Young-ish Adam Wainwright. Tara is happily on the I told you so end of knowing great things would come from Kolten Wong. Tara walks Pottymouth through the pitching squad past and present.

Tara leads us on a deep dive into MLB’s power play to take control of the Minors in which both player development and fan development will take a serious hit. Fewer teams lead to the loss of access points for communities, and the loss of the Albert Pujols of the future. 

An excerpt of this interview appeared in NCiB’s episode 151, Cal, Cards, and Comebacks.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti and the Pottymouth talk all things Cardinals with guest Tara Wellman, co-host of the Chirps and Gateway to Baseball Heaven podcasts. Tara takes us through the aftermath of the COVID-19 shutdown, the responsibility of national media to get the facts straight, baseball towns, and “The Cardinal Way.”

We celebrate the 25th anniversary of Ironman Cal Ripken Jr.’s historic 2131st game and share some tidbits you maybe didn’t get the first time around. Slam Diego won the trade deadline with Mike Clevenger and a slew of other critical additions, and we share those transactions most notable to us, and to our baseball boyfriends, including Jonathan Villar, Josh Naylor, and the separating of the Martes. The death knell of the Minor Leagues tolled last week as MLB moved the power-grab rumor into an actual proposal that will gut communities across the country.

Patti’s boyfriends are back (yes, there is singing), from being sent down to the alternate training sites, and they returned with a bang. Carter Kieboom claimed his spot as the Nats go-to 3B, Oscar Mercado hit off of untouchable Josh Hader, and Miguel Andujar drove in a game winner.  Poster boyfriend Fernando Tatis Jr. brought home NL player of the month for August and Pottymouth hopes his first time is special. Nominees for the Roberto Clemente Award were announced and it is a laundry list of NCiB boyfriends past and present. Pete Alonso hits his first walk-off HR and feels Tom Seaver smiling down on the Mets.

There’s mayhem in the CPBL with a virtual dead heat in the standings and bench clearing conversations on the field.  The Monkeys have beaned the Lions so often there’s a spreadsheet.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.