No Crying In Baseball

The only spitting currently allowed in the MLB is into vials for mandatory testing. Pottymouth’s musings about the total volume of saliva this collects on a daily basis aside, the testing protocols are failing in a number of ways. Intake testing wasn’t actually completed until a week after the league announced the results, and an additional 17 positive tests came from the first round of monitor tests *after* players and staff completed intake and were approved to enter training facilities. 

MLB chartered planes to bring Dominican players back to the US, without testing them first, and sent those players off to their teams in 30 cities. The Cardinals and Cubs delayed additional practices because test results were not delivered on time.  The Astros cancelled practice and closed their park for cleaning when a staff member reported contact with someone who tested positive outside the team. Cam Gallagher, catcher for the Royals, tested positive after catching an intersquad game -- the third Royal catcher to go on the IL. The Utah testing facility is catching a lot of heat for delays and the type of test in use, leading to an additional lab, this one at Rutgers, to address the quantity issue.  Joey Gallo saw his two positive saliva tests and raised them two negative nasal swab tests from a private lab.

Canada approved the plan for the Rogers Centre bubble for the Blue Jays, to live in the adjoining Marriott and not enter the outside world except to travel to games in the US.  Travis Shaw is among the players that just don’t see how this is possible. Franmil Reyes posted publicly about attending a July 4th party, maskless, and has to sit out until a negative test comes back, and apologized in all the right ways.  Fernando Tatis, Jr. is a mask ambassador. Mike Trout, another mask hero, models boyfriend traits turning a family tragedy into suicide awareness.  Joining the heroes is opt-out of the week, Buster Posey, who is now the proud father of adopted twin girls, born prematurely and still in the NICU. Decidedly not a hero, and surprising no one, umpire Joe West turned down MLB’s offer to pay him to sit out the season as he is seen as high risk at 67. Cowboy Joe is closing in on the record for regular season games called, and thinks the pandemic is not all that, so will be looming over the heads of catchers everywhere when the season starts.  The umpires union separated itself from his remarks swiftly and decisively.

The paramedic on duty who was seriously injured when hit by a Brantley foul ball in the Astros dugout last October is suing the team, saying that lack of netting over that part of the dugout was to help the team steal signs.  Can the Astros please just give him a great big check because it is the right thing to do, and spare the grasping at straws that is this shaky lawsuit? The plan for piped-in crowd noise gives former BF for life Anthony Rendon the opportunity to say “...smelling a pizza but...looking at a hamburger.” Patti and the Pottymouth would please like the Os to sign Yasiel Puig and the Nats to take back Brian Dozier. Thank you.

Over in the CPBL, the Monkeys are trying to climb back against the Brothers to win the first half of the season. The KBO saw its first tie game, where the game is called at the end of 12 tied innings. Pottymouth gets Patti a present to support the Women’s National Baseball teams “I’ve Got Your Back” fundraiser for seriously injured veteran player Shelby Estocado. You should buy a pig jersey from the Pulaski Yankees.

Win an Unforgettaball! Send an email to [email protected] putting No Crying in Baseball in the subject line. If you also add “heard it on the show” in the body of the message, you’ll get a second entry. Once 50 entries are received, one will be randomly selected to win the baseball of their choice from Unforgettaballs.com

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Instead, we have the sh*#show that is an MLB testing protocol that could not factor in the 4th of July holiday. The As, Cards, Nats, and others cancelled workouts because test results had not arrived.  In the case of the As, the tests themselves were still sitting at the outgoing airport. Angels and Yankees players had to administer their own swab tests as the testing staff were no-shows.   Sean Doolittle, patron saint of the show, provides the quote of the season as well as the news that PPE promised to teams has not arrived, at least in the case of the Nationals. Patti recommends the Jayson Stark piece in The Athletic (behind paywall) that asks the right questions about how and when teams and the season get shut down.

MLB promises to keep the names of players testing positive confidential, unless the players give permission, but as soon as a name is added to the IL without a reason disclosed, assumptions are made and discussed.  Freddie Freeman’s wife performed a public service by sharing the seriousness of his condition as someone with the disease (who tested negative only days before).  This led to teammate Nick Markakis joining other high-profile players already choosing to opt out of the season.  Nick, David Price, and others who are not high-risk but choose to opt out are losing salary and service time for the year.  Pottymouth points out that focusing instead on the $5.7million that Price sitting out saves the Red Sox is just a bad take and there’s no place for that.

The Minor League Baseball season was cancelled, leaving hundreds of young players high and dry.  Betsy Haugh, GM of the Pulaski Yankees, returns to the show to talk about what that means for local communities that depend on their MiLB teams for summer entertainment and also employment. Her elevator speech on the importance of these teams should be the closing argument in any discussion about contraction.  There is also a brief discussion of pig jerseys, which Patti and the Pottymouth absolutely require.

The Cleveland Baseball Team announces it is considering a name change, and Terry Francona demonstrates how to respectfully and publicly admit that a long-held opinion has changed with the times and more information. Patti respectfully and publicly reiterates her vote for “Cleveland Rocks” but admits the “Spiders” allows for great mascot possibilities. The Atlanta Baseball Team does worse than remaining silent, but actually states it is not considering a name change at this time.

The CPBL salutes America on July 4th, but leaves the exchange student mascot out of the Mascot Race. Jose Quintana sliced a nerve in his thumb while washing dishes and can be identified as such on the IL. Normalcy! The As may be the coolest team in baseball right now as they allow fans to pay for cardboard cutouts of themselves to be in the fan-free Coliseum, proceeds to charity, and also consider drive-in movie style baseball in their parking lot.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Here comes MLB, unless it doesn’t. We catch you up on what the shortened season schedule may look like, how the rosters will work (until they don’t), the new game rules, and the protocols that work until players leave the facility and are left to their own best judgements. Or in the case of Texas, the shaky judgement of the Rangers front office and the Governor.

Pottymouth gets international attention for baseball boyfriends during breakfast baseball with the CPBL. The Lions score 21 runs for our pal Daniel Shih’s 21st birthday. Intrigue and disruption in the ranks plague the Guardians. The KBO is set to welcome fans back into the ballpark, but won’t allow cheering. Lots of old MLB friends, including Baby Shark, are making their mark in Japan.

This week in crosstraining, the Scrap Yard Dogs professional softball team walks out after their general manager misrepresented them to the President, no less, with references to “respecting the flag” and “all lives matter” under the team banner. The entire team walked out and formed their own team, This Is Us, with awareness, empowerment, and unity as their purpose. Women’s professional soccer becomes the first US professional league to return to action. The players wore Black Lives Matter shirts and armbands, many knelt for the anthem, all of which got press coverage, but/and who won the games?  No one is covering the sports part of women’s sports.

Ding dong the witch is dead.  The University of Cincinnati’s board of directors voted unanimously to remove Marge Schott’s name from its ballpark and library.  And Ohio girl Patti couldn’t be prouder.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

After all that back and forth, looks like the MLB plan agreed upon in March is moving forward.  The MLBPA held their ground, and now it’s a matter of health protocols.  The COVID-19 outbreak affecting at least 40 players and staff has shut down facilities in Arizona and Florida, and raised many more questions. Some independent leagues plan to start up with much less fuss, so you may get some local baseball after all.

Addison Frickin’ Russell gets picked up by the KBO Heroes and we are given another opportunity to point out the problems with press coverage of domestic abusers. We learned that the Heroes are not so Heroic themselves, so that landing spot maybe isn’t such a surprise.

MLB players and executives continue to step up to integrate the lessons of Black Lives Matter into daily life and not just a moment.

The CPBL standings tighten up some more, and Pottymouth’s KBO team, the Dinos, gets some love from 538.

Patti’s former BF Nelson Cruz wins the Muhammed Ali Sports Humanitarian ESPY award and shows the world what a good man looks like. Pottymouth’s former Angel BF Albert Pujols steps up to cover salaries for furloughed players and staff in the Dominican Republic for five months. We aren’t sure what’s up with Big Papi. And A-Rod and J-Lo bring on a Vitamin Water, Horseman, Pirate Booty billionaire to their Mets bid.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The sh*t hits the fan as MLBPA calls MLB’s “we are 100% going to have a season this year” bluff and says they are ready to play just tell us where and when. The League instead counters with a requirement that players waive their rights to legal claims against them. With all the instances of bad faith on the part of the owners, the remaining question is will Rob Manfred resign or be asked to leave? Meanwhile, Florida is bursting with sports bubbles, hosting the NBA, the MLS, and the WNBA as they start seasons later this summer. The WNBA players, as an example of how professional sports might work in a pandemic, are receiving their full salaries while playing a shortened season. So noted that they already aren’t being paid what they are worth, but the point is there.

Meanwhile, players, team executives, the League, and associated businesses take steps both big and small to address systemic racism in MLB and in their own lives. The Red Sox acknowledge racist incidents at games, call out the fans responsible, and vow to do better. Directors of Baseball Operations for all 30 teams seize the attention of the draft to express a message of “Black Lives Matter. United for Change.” The words are backed up by $1 million in donations to organizations working to end racial injustice, and by commitments to address recruiting and hiring practices. Even those teams like Cleveland with “complicated” histories with race. We muse that perhaps Atlanta fans might lose upper body strength with this extra time off, rendering that f*%king chop impossible. More players examine their own lives and publicly move to make change, like Collin McHugh looking at who has been on his podcast and more importantly, who has not. Louisville Slugger “recognizes the symbolism of nightsticks” and ends production of commemorative versions for the Louisville Metro Police Foundation. A coalition of 1,400 current and retired athletes, coaches, general managers, staff members of NFL, NBA, MLB sign on to a letter to Congress supporting the Amash-Pressley bill to end qualified immunity, which makes it difficult to sue police officers for brutality. Many of our boyfriends, including some cross-training BFs (Hi, Baker!), are included. 

Alex Cora speaks up at long last and accepts his responsibility for the Astros cheating scandal, but makes it clear they were all responsible. Everyone in the organization during that time period. In related scandal news, we all look to the shiny thing that is a letter from Rob Manfred to the Yankees from the 2017 investigation into their sign-stealing.  At the time, they were fined, but the details were kept under wraps. Now a judge says this letter must be made public and the team is pushing back hard.  Bring on the popcorn.

In the CPBL, the standings tighten and the stands fill to 50% capacity with a system for contact tracing in place. Professional baseball will start soon in both Japan and Australia.  One day we will be able to have nice things again too.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The world is still on fire and we acknowledge that by discussing how the world of sports is responding. Joey Votto shares a journey, Drew Brees gets a very public education and stands by it, Roger Goodell says some of the right things, albeit a few years too late, and there’s a campaign to remove Marge Schott’s name from the facilities at the University of Cincinnati. Adam Jones demonstrates in Japan.  Lorenzo Cain, Josh Bell, and others talk police accountability with the president of the Negro Leagues Museum. Charlotte Knights AAA and the Carolina Panthers, among others, cut ties to their security company over racist remarks.

The MLB Draft begins on Wednesday and we ponder what happens to prospects in a year with no minor league ball. The As and the Nationals respond to public embarrassment with the As now continuing to pay their minor league players and the Nats reversing course on a pay cut for them after the players publicly promise to make up the difference themselves. MLB submits a new proposal for a shortened baseball season, countering the union’s 114 game proposal with a 76 game plan, and salary math gets way too hard. Good thing Scott Boras has his own economist. 

Women’s World Cup Baseball is on the schedule for November in Tijuana. Anyone taking bets on if it will happen?  KBO player of the month Koo Chang-mo of Pottymouth’s Dinos has an ERA of 0.54. The CPBL marches on with fans in the stands and Patti’s BF Dimple Cannon hitting the league’s 10,000th HR. UniLions fish head mascot Sababoy celebrates his birthday on the 13th with milkfish popsicles for everyone. Why is there a cat on the wrapper? In a moment of bravado, Patti agrees to try one, “on the air.” Pottymouth is currently calling every Asian market in the greater DC area. Stay tuned.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The world is burning and we intend to “stick to sports” the way we always do, in the context of social justice. Andrew McCutcheon (“I don’t want pity. I want justice.”), Dexter Fowler, Marcus Stroman, Lucas Giolito, NCiB Patron Saint Sean Doolittle and other players make their voices heard. We talk with Bobby Coon of the “Pulling  Tarp” podcast about the present and the future of the Minor Leagues: players being cut loose, players being paid or not depending on the team and access to David Price, contraction, and a better way to run the whole thing if Bobby were in charge. MLB’s plan to drive a wedge between highly paid players and league-minimum guys in the latest let’s put on a season plan backfires, as players stand united and say, “show us the books.” While the CPBL looks to open up their ballparks at 100%, the Korean Baseball Organization has to slow down its plan to bring fans in at 30% capacity as South Korea’s coronavirus case numbers are back on the rise.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Don’t get us wrong, we here at NCiB love us some Brian Dozier, and the community building he is doing in his neighborhood would be drink-worthy adorable if it wasn’t in the middle of a frickin’ pandemic. But it is, and it’s a great example of why a shortened MLB season outside of a BioBubble is way too risky. Plans are moving forward, with the players’ union responding to the health and safety protocol proposal, Governors weighing in on letting baseball happen under strict guidelines (and sneaking in a dig at the DH), and MLB scheduled to present their plan for the season to the union imminently. Right, and Homeland Security is allowing foreign athletes back into the US because “Americans need their sports.”

Almost a week of breakfast baseball rainouts in Taiwan made us a little grumpy, but hey did you hear that the CPBL tested their baseballs MID-SEASON, and is correcting for the juiciness? Our cross-training segment gets Pottymouth from Little League to sex dolls in about ten words. Turns out some of those mannequins in the fan-free stands at Korean soccer matches are actually sex dolls advertising an adult toy manufacturer. In Nicaragua, the tragic I Told You So.

The Angels are devils when it comes to paying non-player staff. The owner is worth more than $3 Billion, but they are implementing the most aggressive furloughs in the league, gutting their scouting department. Most teams have found middle ground with some pay cuts or minor furloughs, but the Blue Jays take the crown.  With the help of emergency funding from the Canadian government, they are guaranteeing salaries for 500 staff until October. In the minor leagues, some teams are offering concession stand dinner pick-up in order to keep staff on payroll.

Patti asks to claim Les “The Beer Guy” Flake from her hometown of Cleveland as her concessions boyfriend, after learning about his partnership with “Cold Beer Here,” delivering craft beer to fans homes with the proceeds going to the Cleveland Food Bank. Her regulation boyfriend Nelson Cruz was nominated for the Muhammed Ali Sports Humanitarian Award, for his more traditional philanthropy.

Lastly, we have a lovely conversation with Emily Wolfson. Emily is an architect, artist, and founder of Unforgettaballs, “painted baseballs with meaning and style.” Emily’s work celebrates the essence of historic ballparks, players, events, and even baseball movies. You can find Unforgettaballs at https://unforgettaballs.com/ and listen to the show for a coupon code to save 10%.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

You should watch the finals of the First Annual Bump Bailey Wax Pack Hero Tournament of Awesome. No reason, other than Patti, Pottymouth, Jose Canseco, and a Golden Pickle.

67 pages of MLB’s proposed health protocols later, we are sure that spitting and showers are discouraged, but still don’t know what will happen if multiple players test positive for COVID-19.  We think it is good news that the testing plan is designed to result in a surplus of tests to be provided to health care workers in MLB cities, and processed for free. We appreciate the consistency of owners trying to spin players into bad guys, and A-Rod remaining an asshole.  This may be the part of the discussion where we determined Pottymouth’s facemask should ideally contain a vulgarity filter.

Over in the KBO, Pottymouth’s favorite Dinos rock a commanding first place record, and a mascot named Swole Daddy. Patti’s Monkeys lead the CPBL, where games are played in front of 2000 fans. We learned that the CPBL sets aside a week for make up games, which sounded like a great idea until we realized rain-outs would get made up during the monsoon season break. Sadly, the World Baseball Classic has been cancelled, because the qualifying rounds won’t be played in time.

Eloy Jimenez shows some love for a tiny bridal shop in the Little Village neighborhood of Chicago, where instead of prom finery, staff have sewn and donated 17,000 masks. Meanwhile, Brandon Nimmo and David Wright hope to inspire one million New Yorkers to each donate $10 to support that city’s poorest residents. Patrick Corbin and Matt Barnes are turning Call of Duty into a fundraiser where bidders hope to earn their way onto teams with the likes of Juan Soto and Pete Alonzo.

For those missing fake baseball, MLB’s Dream Bracket 2.0 starts this week.  Patti and the Pottymouth were interviewed for the Baseball is my Muse blog, which is a fun read.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti and the Pottymouth get a little weepy over Mother’s Day.  Pottymouth over the CPBL mascot-themed card drawn by her artist daughter, and Patti for clean gutters, many mimosas, and Adley Rutschman.

We start with laying out the rumored plan for bringing back MLB, and poke it full of holes like a biobubble over a spring training facility. We wave some flags about the presumed demise of the minor leagues, and go just the way you would think about owners wanting to cut player salaries even more.

Moving on the our current love, the CPBL, we discuss how Taiwan has earned getting baseball back, and as of this week, players in the stands (under very strict guidelines). Monkeys continue to rule, but the Lions remain within reach.  The mascots continue to show us their dance moves and their public health messages, and from commentators we’ve learned about the monsoon season break, nicknames like Dimple Cannon and Hollywood, and the fact that demands followup -- cheerleaders can be traded.

The KBO hasn’t grabbed us yet, and that sits squarely on the shoulders of ESPN. We prefer our commentators in the park and of the community, thank you very much. But ESPN did give us the gift of Eric Thames during the Opening Day rain delay, and the Trevor Bauer phone number debacle which @BauerOutage played perfectly. Pottymouth’s Dinos look great, Patti’s Wyverns can see them from a distance.

For the second and final rant of the episode, we review the probable repercussions of reducing the MLB draft from 40 to only 5 rounds.  We told you. We warned you, Don’t look so shocked. It’s not a good time to be a young ballplayer, especially without independent means. The Turn a Pair podcast did excellent work showing what players we would have missed had there only been five rounds in their draft years

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Boyfriends continue to do boyfriend things, donating money, food, equipment, and getting their pro athlete friends to do the same.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.