No Crying In Baseball

In one month, Michael Rivers matched up dozens of financially-struggling minor league ballplayers with individuals willing and able to commit to a seasons’ worth of care packages and gift cards, and he’s still going strong. In this episode, we talk with Michael about how “Adopt a MiLB Player” began and how fans of the game can help out until MLB fixes its labor policies. Our boyfriends this week include a couple of Baby Bombers, Gleybor Torres and Miguel Andújar of the Yankees. After a you-knew-it-was-coming Tomahawk Chop rant, Pottymouth tells you about Atlanta SS Dansby Swanson, why it is perfectly acceptable to choose a Baseball BF based on his girlfriend, and we learn an important lesson about Jane Austen vs. frozen dinners. Patti tells the origin story of BF Adeiny Hechavarria, and connects the dots between this week’s picks. The wagging finger of Joe Torre is not all that effective at policy enforcement. MLB makes some long-awaited diversity news in the upper ranks of umpires. Baseball Prospectus uses their powers for good.

It’s time for NCiB’s Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League! Contact us via social media if you want to play rotisserie fantasy ball, following our boyfriend rules for players. The draft begins immediately after Patti and the Pottymouth release their starting lineups on the March 17th episode. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Tangents this week include Eric Thames’ arms, O. Henry, and Ironman’s math skills, which it turns out are better than Patti’s. Spring Training games have started yet there is still Astros scandal detritus to clean up, so much so that Rob Manfred doesn’t have time to tell Atlanta, “Stop using the Tomahawk Chop.” Twins boyfriends include Cheech and Chong cosplayers/contact hitters Luis Arraez and Willians “La Tortuga” Astudillo. Closer to home, Pottymouth hangs on to future MVP Juan Soto as her carryover boyfriend from last season. Although distracted by Eric Thames’ arms, Patti pins her Nats boyfriend hopes on Carter Kieboom. We do a quick MLB photo day review, including Eric Thames arms, and explain the new season’s rule changes which you can see in Spring Training games happening NOW. 

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Andrew Whitener is the head strength and conditioning coach at DC Dynasty, and owner of District Performance.  Coach Whitey talks with Patti and the Pottymouth about the best hour of his week, the time spent training a group of players from DC Girls Baseball. He works with the girls on specific baseball conditioning and gives them the tools for lifelong health and fitness. The girls give him a different perspective on what it means to be a baseball player.

The conversation touches on the importance of good coaching, inclusivity, access, and an environment that encourages love of baseball, all things at which DCGB excels. There is a brief tangent about getting married during the NLCS, and a walk down memory lane for some Cleveland baseball fans.  Listen for the moment Patti catches her breath when Coach Whitey says the words “Kenny Lofton.”

Sorry not sorry = words of House MLB, followed by “Let’s just move on.” Did the Red Sox really do their due diligence around Alex Verdugo? Police reports indicate otherwise. But he just wants to move on. Astros owner Jim Crane apologized by stating he shouldn’t be held accountable. Just wants to move on. Former Astros apologize much better than current Astros, who can’t seem to stop talking, but just want to move on. Dusty Baker makes “premeditated retaliation” a thing.

Thank the baseball gods for boyfriends to cheer us out of our funk. Pottymouth feels the love for Oakland outfielder Stephen Piscotty, whose story shows baseball at its best. Patti finds her starting 3B in Matt Chapman, he of the sexy defense and bromance with Khris Davis. Both our NL boyfriends are the Cardinal Way, all the way. Pottymouth catches the Aloha spirit with 2B Kolten Wong, and Patti goes with another 3B Matt, with Matt “It’s Gotta Be the Salsa” Carpenter. And another t shirt goes on the wish list. Also thank you baseball gods for shirtless Mets.

Minor leaguers get a tiny pay raise, the post-season may get super-sized, and girls showcase their skills at MLB Grit.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do.

New information on the Astros cheating scandal implicates interns, Excel, and Harry Potter.  Were the right people punished? Still not over, friends, still not over.

At the time of recording, the Mookie Betts trade remained up in the air, leading us to agree with Justin Turner that journalists shoving decorum to the side to get a scoop can make a real mess of things. Speaking of messes, the Player’s Union and Joc Pederson got the shaft from MLB and the Arbitration Panel, who forced Pederson to negotiate salary with the Dodgers even when he was an active trade chip with the Angels.

Boyfriends this week begin in Tampa Bay, or in Pottymouth’s case, Japan.  Yoshitomo “Yoshi” Tsutsugo joins the Rays this year after 10 years with the Yokahama Baystars, and a stint in the Dominican League, learning to “play with heart.” Patti chose Brandon “Bamm Bamm” Lowe, but all signs point to Brandon’s wife Madison as Patti’s real choice for Rays BF. Pottymouth brings us a new Omar to love, this time catcher Omar Navaráez, whose goal is to bring baseball to Ecuador, eventually. Patti can’t quit Christian Yelich, and declares him her keeper BF for this season. Maybe it’s the Body Issue, maybe it’s the philanthropy, maybe it’s the numbers he will bring the fantasy team. Congrats to the champions of this year’s Caribbean Series, Toros del Este. Finally, please join with 100+ mayors around the country to share your stories of why minor league ball is a vital part of your community.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We get way into the weeds around the Astros cheating scandal and cite a few studies trying to get at what players were doing what and when and can we ever know. Dusty Baker riding into town to clean up the Clubhouse Culture gives us hope. Pottymouth channels her inner Whitney to introduce her new Cleveland boyfriend, that “big happy chunk of ball destruction” Franmil Reyes. Patti starts her Oscar Mercado profile with a Christmas morning in Cartagena story, and ends it with a Superman catch. There’s talk of knobless bats, too many gloves, and excellent use of protective netting around Pottymouth’s new Mets boyfriend, Jeff “Flying Squirrel” McNeil. Patti struggles to find things to say about Pete Alonzo that she hasn’t said before, so settles on “Wade Boggs.” Robinson Canó and some of NCiB’s other favorite guys lead a march in the Dominican Republic to end violence against women. Kris Bryant loses his service time grievance, a bad sign for up-and-coming minor leaguers and the future of fair labor practices in baseball. Stop complaining about no baseball, and watch the Caribbean Series, happening this week.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Pottymouth does math (!) to show how NCiB once and forever baseball boyfriend Omar Vizquel will get voted into the Hall of Fame *next* year. Maybe. New Mets manager Luis Rojas has an excellent pedigree and a deep history with the team. Patti and the Pottymouth pull out their Mom cred to jump on Scott Boras’ assertions that the Astros players don’t need to apologize, and Justin Turner wonders why Dallas Keuchel, who didn’t even hit, was the one who did. Rep. Bobby Rush says Congress as an “ethical and moral” imperative to investigate the cheating scandal, because they don’t have enough to do. We stay clear of ongoing investigations and select new kids, Bobby Dalbec and Marcus Wilson, as our Red Sox boyfriends. Pottymouth chooses utility player Idelmaro Vargas and Patti picks speedster and human target Tim Locastro as their Diamondbacks boyfriends. Winter baseball is winding up, but there are still some national championships to watch. Patti and the Pottymouth report back from their happy hour with the adults behind DC Girls Baseball and are here to tell you what you can do to support girls playing baseball where you live.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti and the Pottymouth perform a public service by saving their Astros Cheating Scandal rant until the end of the show, so they can set you up with the happy first.

Boyfriends this week come from the Rangers and the Cubs. Pottymouth leads the Texas talk with Joey “Pico de” Gallo, an actual joey, and some puppies, and Patti counters with Nick “Hockey kid” Solak, an enthusiastic mom, and a holiday proposal. Over at Wrigley, Pottymouth finds her catcher in bat-dropping Wilson Contreras, and Patti looks to brainy Nico Hoerner to start this year. We are overjoyed to cheer on Alyssa Nakken, the first female full time coach in the majors, and give Gabe Kapler grudging credit for a good hire.

And then we rant. Patti catches you up on scandal to date, and Pottymouth is stuck with an “In Cora We Trust” T shirt. We look at things from the pitcher’s perspective, from the words of Mike Clevinger and Eirann Dolan. We toss around our need for guilty players to own up and take responsibility and the legal and personal reasons that they don’t. And the unchecked anger swirling around in the baseball world. Patti considers breaking up with her once and forever broadcasting BF Jessica Mendoza who really let her down this week with her opinion on Mike Fiers, after such a high from becoming a Baseball For All board member. And there is still Winter Baseball, which so far has not broken our hearts.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Baseball players once again step up for disaster relief, this time for earthquakes in Puerto Rico, where ballparks are serving as shelters. Our favorite World Series first pitch, Chef Jose Andres, is feeding thousands through his World Central Kitchen, a good destination for your relief dollars or volunteer time, if you are so inclined.

Patti explains Arbitration, and runs through NCIB boyfriends past and present heading down the file and trial road. Mookie and Cody set records for deals.

Pottymouth chooses Albert Pujols as her Angels boyfriend because of the shirt on her back and the shirt off of his. Patti makes the painful decision to cut loose once and forever boyfriend Anthony Rendon (while wearing his shirt on her back) for non-baseball reasons, which frees her up to select Shohei Ohtani in his DH role, which is not a real thing. From the Phillies, Pottymouth calls on Scott Kingery, he of the inside-the-park home runs and puppapalooza. Patti picks the best catcher in the league, JT Realmuto, who shares quite the All-Star game routine with his wife.

We run down the latest news in electronic sign stealing, 12 hours before all the Astros news breaks, and review the state of Winter Baseball. We cross-train with the Olympics, where athletes will be banned from political and religious demonstrations on the field, the podium, and the Village.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCIB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

In the first episode of the new year, we bestow our very first A*&hole of the year award to Domingo Germán, who earned the league’s longest suspension for violation of the domestic abuse policy for a player not formally charged.  The Yankees clean house in training and conditioning and make us wonder just how good the 103 game-winning team will be without a record number of player injuries.  On a related note, wild boars have joined suitcases and drones on the list of causes of preventable player injuries. Our White Sox boyfriends include this year’s Eloy Jimenez, Luis Robert, as well as last year’s Eloy Jimenez, Eloy Jimenez. For the Giants, Pottymouth could not choose anyone other than Mike Yaztrzemski, and Patti predictably selects the next Buster Posey, Joey Bart.  Pottymouth introduces us to Jazzmine Rivera, the first Hispanic woman to play collegiate baseball. Patti explains WAR, and what it is good for (absolutely something).  There’s still time to catch Winter ball.  All this, and Patti tries to roll a few Rs, and Pottymouth goads her into swearing.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.