No Crying In Baseball

This week’s baseball boyfriends represent the Seattle Mariners and Colorado Rockies and include an actual smackdown. Pottymouth’s BF Austin Nola will be competing with Patti’s BF, Evan “Beautiful Freak” White, for the Mariner’s starting 1B. Representing the Rockies, Pottymouth selects commercial star and self-proclaimed Momma’s Boy, Ryan McMahon, while Patti goes for former National and longtime good human Ian Desmond.

Moving forward from the tragedy that was the death of Tyler Skaggs, MLB and MLBPA amend the Joint Drug Agreement to focus less on discipline and more on prevention and treatment.

Pottymouth’s winter baseball predictions are holding up pretty well, except that we left out all of Colombia. And there was a bench-clearing brawl!

Our New Year’s gift to you is the feminist history behind “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” Our resolution? To learn the verses about Katie Casey and her love of the game and teach it to fans everywhere. Change the face of the 7th inning stretch!

Remember to give the gift of No Crying in Baseball, and enjoy this holiday season. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti marks the release of the latest Star Wars movie by spoiler-free naming Boba Fett, er, Bo Bichette, her Blue Jays boyfriend for 2020. Pottymouth is happy to find that even though we never stopped talking about Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. last season, he wasn’t an official boyfriend, until now. Over in San Diego, Pottymouth lays claim to Eric “Red Hot Chili Peppers” Hosmer, while Patti chooses Josh “Born with Skates on” Naylor.  Let. The. Kids. Play.

We realize we might actually like Gerrit Cole, since that whole World Series situation is firmly behind us. How can you not believe in childhood dreams coming true, and “f*n book reports?”

Some of MLB’s record profits are going to programs designed to reach out to under-represented populations, and we’re here for that, but Pottymouth has some ideas for the rest of that excess cash.

Patti puts the plus in OPS+ and explains “Ballpark Factors.” Stats? Math? Vocabulary? We’ve got it all going on.

Did you know that the MLB is not allowed to play in Stupidface? Pottymouth explains it all in her current events/politics/winter baseball round up,.

Remember to give the gift of No Crying in Baseball, and enjoy this holiday season. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Pottymouth is all in for Aristides “The Punisher” Aquino as her new Reds boyfriend, so much so that her Dominican Winter League fandom is now divided. Patti also looks to the outfield and selects Nick Senzell, who had her at The Green Monster “makes you feel so tiny.” Over in Kansas City, Cuban-born Jorge Soler and his personal emoji capture Pottymouth’s attention, while Hunter Dozier and his backyard batting cage are Patti’s pick.

Anthony Rendon is leaving is for the Angels where he can hide behind Mike Trout and his exclamation points,  and we have feelings. Surprising feelings. Patti does not care for the number of times Pottymouth says “Trump” in this context, but still wants Angels gear.

Major League Baseball is threatening to take its ball and go home, leaving Minor League Baseball swinging in the wind, and Bernie Sanders and Trevor Bauer are not having it.

And Yadier Molina managed to have his celebrity softball game and home run derby even without us.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

In which we get the episode number right but say Padres when we mean Pirates and George when we mean Gregory. Welcome to the off-season.

Patti provides helpful career advice to Pottymouth by comparing job postings for favorite mascots. 

We profile our new Orioles boyfriends, Pedro Severino and Anthony Santander, who we hear is very big in the UK. Just to stir things up, Pottymouth gives up her volatile Pirates boyfriends of the past to select Bryan Reynolds, complete with a fishing with Dad story, while Patti takes a page from her book and chooses injury-laden, but so close to great Gregory “El Coffee” Polanco, but continually calls him “george” for no apparent reason. New Pirates manager, Derek Shelton, has arrived with universal approval and high hopes.

Pottymouth notes that our former boyfriends Tommy Pham and Jurickson Profar are headed to San Diego, which may give us a new team to love. And yet we tarnish it with outside words. The way we do.

Not that we’re keeping score, but Patti wins another point. This one for a boyfriend winning an award she didn’t know existed for a position she doesn’t believe in. Nelson Cruz is the 2019 winner of the Edgar Martinez Outstanding DH award.

Addison Frickin’ Russell has been non-tendered. The People do not want him, we’ll see if front offices agree.

A Bi-partisan congressional task force to “Save Minor League Baseball” formed to warn the MLB that they are watching the negotiations with MiLB and are ready to smack them down with legislative “solutions” if the plan to gut the Minors proceeds. Bernie Sanders tries to sell Rob Manfred on his plan for universal baseball. Sort of.

Pottymouth is dismayed by the inappropriate and puzzling uses of “Woo” and Mr. Happy in the Red Sox farm system. But not so much that she can’t provide you with the following guide to watching Winter Baseball, including her picks for each league’s winning team:

• Australian Baseball League (ABL) https://theabl.com.au/schedule

               7 teams, Regular season: 11/20-1/25

• LIDOM (Dominican Republic) (Liga Intervernal Domnicana) http://www.lidom.com

              Regular season: 10/12-12/17

Pottymouth’s Pick: Leones del Escogido (Tigers BF WIlli Castro)

• Liga de Beisbol Profesional Roberto Clemente https://www.ligapr.com/

             Regular season:11/15-12/29, Playoffs 1/3 -1/22

Pottymouth’s Pick: Gigantes de Carolina (Marlins BF Isan Diaz)

• Liga Mexicana del Pacifico https://www.lmp.mx/

             Regular season: 10/11-12/30

Pottymouth’s Pick: Naranjeros De Hermosillo (host to Justine Siegal’s clinics)

• Liga Venezuela Beisbol Profesional https://www.lvbp.com/

             Regular season: 11/4-12/29

Pottymouth’s Pick: Cardinales De Lara (lost chance at hosting Serie del Caribe last year)

• Beísbol Cubano http://www.beisbolcubano.cu

             Second Phase: 10/27 - 12/24, Championship: Jan 6-8

Pottymouth’s Pick: Cienfuegos (elephant mascot)

• LBPN - Nicaragua https://lbpn.com.ni/

            Regular Season: 11/25-12/21

Pottymouth’s Pick: Tigres de Chinandega (Ace - Atahualpa Severino)

• Probeis (Panama) https://www.tvmax-9.com/probeis/

           Regular Season: 11/28 - 12/27?

Pottymouth’s Pick: Astronautas de Chiriquí (great name)

• Serie del Caribe 

           Feb 1-8, Puerto Rico

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Before we kick off the Boyfriends of 2020, we dabble in boyfriends of long ago and just yesterday.  Patti’s original baseball boyfriend, Omar “Manos de Seda” (hands of silk!) Vizquel, landed a new gig managing Mexico’s Toros de Tijuana, and our HOF campaign progresses in earnest. Pottymouth’s 2019 Orioles BF Jonathan Villar is waived outright by the Os, and instead of emotional support, she gets a vocabulary lesson on the non-tender deadline.  Some friend.

We cheat off the smart kids, er, receive suggestions from experts, on the first batch of baseball boyfriends for 2020.  Pottymouth finds a cosmic connection with Tigers shortstop Willi Castro, while Patti talks tattoos, stitches, and Rule 5 in claiming left fielder Victor Reyes. In Marlin’s world, Pottymouth selects Isan Diaz, 2nd baseman, who homered off both Jacob DeGrom and Noah Syndergaard in his rookie season and caused his dad to become an Internet sensation. Meanwhile, Patti agrees to a blind date with shortstop Miguel Rojas, who had her at “Omar” and kept her with singing mom stories.

Listen for the moment our hearts break and our souls are crushed as we share the news of sportswriter Jonah Keri going from “one of us” to “one of them.”  

Patti sneaks in a second vocabulary lesson, “Player Development Contract” or “PDC” as we continue our discussion of the plan to gut the minor leagues. And then dangles the idea of a road trip to check out as many of the 42 teams on the chopping block as possible.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Patti and the Pottymouth go off on MLB’s plan to gut the minor leagues, saying things like “Capitalism,” “Sanders,” “Schumer,” and “veiled threats.” Sports isn’t just sports. It is economics, labor, community, family, and politics too.

On a lighter note, we bestow the title of Honorary Boyfriend on Gerardo Parra, as he departs to play in Japan.

Patti reminds us what this whole “Rule 5 Draft” is about and why you’ve been hearing about which prospects teams have been protecting by placing them on the 40 man roster. This leads to a discussion of veterans let go to make room, including the curious case of Jacoby Ellsbury, Pottymouth’s once and never again Red Sox BF.

We celebrate a lot of happenings regarding women and girls in baseball, including the prominent hires of Rachel Balkovec to the Yankees, Rachel Folden to the Cubs, and Eve Rosenbaum to the Orioles. Baseball for All ran girls clinics in Mexico, which may or may not have led to a spontaneous singing of the Love Boat theme by your hosts. And finally, the Women’s World Cup 2020 location has been announced: Monterrey, Mexico. It sounds like a lovely November destination. Again with the shameless begging, and much impressive rolling of Rs.

This week’s stats lesson covers OBP and OPS, what they really tell us, and why there is bad math involved. The bonus stat of “isolated power” sent your hosts upstairs to create an adult beverage deserving of that name.

Your homework, should you accept it, is to read the two articles running numbers to determine if the Astros sign-stealing actually worked for them, and draw your own conclusions. 538 and The Ringer came up with different answers based on the same data.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We can’t avoid the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal, so we lean right in. Patti and the Pottymouth choose opposite sides of the Darvish/Yelich twitter feud, as well as just how deep Alex Cora and Carlos Beltran are enmeshed in the kerfuffle.

How could the Giants think bringing on Gabe Kapler was a good idea? Was it his less than stellar record with the Phillies? Or his inappropriate attempts at covering up an assault scandal while with the Dodgers? Buster Posey knows what’s what.

Pottymouth catches us up on the Premier 12, and how the only Americans going to the Olympics for baseball so far are the ones who play for Mexico. Still a chance. Still a chance. She also pitches how great we’d be at the Puerto Rican charity softball tournament, if only we could find a sponsor…

Meanwhile, closer to home, the Fredericksburg Nationals, or the Class A “FredNats” unveil a secondary logo of Mary Washington as a left-handed pitcher, and make history.

Patti teaches a little vocabulary, with “qualifying offer” and uses it in a sentence or two to explain why Jake Odorizzi and Jose Abreu would take them. The economics continue when the major league players get a raise that is about equal to what minor leaguers make in a year unless they play for the Blue Jays organization.

The Washington Capitals take a page from MLB and have players choose “goal songs.” The results are as uneven as walk-up songs in 2019, but we’re here for the cross-training.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Silver Sluggers are announced and NCiB Boyfriends Ozzie Albies, Ronald Acuna, Jr., and DJ LeMahieu collect their first awards, while Anthony Rendon takes home #2, and Mookie “Pookie” Betts, Christian Yelich, and Nelson Cruz are three-time winners. Once again we miss our chance to vote for the Platinum Glove winners, and once again Nolan Arenado and Matt Chapman are the winners. There must be something in the water, or the infield grass, at El Toro High School in Lake Forest, CA. Which is not the same as the Rancho Carne Toros. Not the same at all. 

Patti begins to baby step through baseball stats -- are the ones we talk about most the ones that really tell us what we want to know about a player or team?  Are batting averages and RBI numbers the way to compare players for awards and compute their Free Agency worth?

Pottymouth wants you to stay up late and get up early to catch the WBSC Premier 12 Tournament in Japan, and the Women’s Baseball Asian Cup in China. Also, NCiB’s favorite Dominican team fires Fernando Tatis, Sr, and fans and players go apeshit. Don’t mess with the dynasty.

We cross-train with Women’s Soccer, where there is a movement toward gender pay equity. Tiny movement, but in the right direction.

The San Diego Padres bring balance back to the baseball universe, by listening to their fan base and bringing back the brown and gold uniforms.  In a daring move, the Pad’s road grays are in fact, “sand.”

Junior Pottymouth joins us to tell tales of maintaining (and building) fandom from a school far from one’s home team, WS parade road trips, and a visit to Cooperstown.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We note once or twice that the Washington Nationals won the World Series. The end of the postseason signals the start of the hot stove season so Patti offers a vocabulary lesson in exercising options. Pottymouth posits that Never Gonna be a Boyfriend Aroldis Chapman did not opt-out of his Yankees contract because there are no other places for abusive relievers.

Scott Boras manages all of the top three Free Agents and has Ideas about shortening the season that sound downright reasonable.

Defense is sexy and our boyfriends are all over the Gold Glove awards. We contrast good guy, man of the people, new Mets manager Carlos Beltrán, with sometimes scorned, top-down, old school not in a good way, new Royals manager Mike Matheny.

World Champion Washington Nationals celebrate all over town, including cross-training with the Capitals. Along the way to shirtless Zamboni riding, there was some 51st state advocacy, some baby sharking, and more adventures with the Beer Guy. All was well until the White House visit when unless they can prove they were still drunk or playing a long game prank, Kurt Suzuki and Ryan Zimmerman flirt with the Never Gonna Be A Boyfriend list.

We throw some shade and some math at post-season umpiring, show solidarity with Deadspin, and try to make the Slip and Slide guy a poster boy for white male privilege.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The “Calma” in the Nationals clubhouse is so much more delightful than the toxic culture over at the Astros.  And that’s not just two Nats fans talking, The Assistant GM of the Astros has been fired, and MLB is investigating belligerence, inappropriate behavior, and outright lies perpetrated by the Astros organization.  Never should have brought that Osuna guy on to begin with.  And don’t try to fake the news in a room full of journalists.  We rant.

Jose Andres, chef, humanitarian, and immigrant, throws out a World Series first pitch and unites the crowd.

Awards are given to the league’s best relievers, homophobe Josh Hader and domestic abuser Aroldis Chapman.  Patti stress-crochets, and we rant.

MLB investigates umpire Rob Drake’s threatening tweets.  We rant.

We assured you there would be no news about managers until after the World Series.  Except for David Ross, Jayce Tingler, and Joe Girardi.  But that’s it. Just those guys.  And some front-office stuff over at the Pirates and Red Sox.  Nothing to see here.

All this, plus conspiracy theories, Bud Light for Life if you can block a WS home run with your chest, and full frontal flashing. Not ours.