No Crying In Baseball

All the young dudes, okay, many young dudes, get some attention from Patti and the Pottymouth this week. Our Atlanta Boyfriends, Ronald Acuna Jr. and Ozzie Albies, are tearing it up. Bo Bichette (not Boba Fett), of the Blue Jays, is so shiny we aren’t even talking about Vlad Jr. Patti takes a field trip to the Single A Ironbirds to scout first-round draft pick Adley Rutschman and is not disappointed. Pottymouth’s Nationals BF, Juan Soto, can’t stop hitting them out of the park.  

These young men all followed different paths to a career in professional baseball -- drafted out of high school, out of college, out of the Academy in the Dominican Republic. Where’s the path for girls and women? That’s the problem our special guest, Justine Siegal, founder of Baseball for All, is trying to solve. Justine wants every 8-year-old girl who wants to play baseball, to play baseball. Baseball for All’s 5th annual national tournament hosted 350 girls last week, pointing to a change in the right direction. Hear the stories, and how you can help build opportunities for girls and women playing baseball. 

Met’s Manager Mickey Calloway says, “When guys shirts come off, it’s probably a pretty good day.” He’s talking about Michael Conforto and walk off hits, but he could just be talking the No Crying in Baseball party line. Pottymouth’s O’s boyfriend Jonathan Villar hits for the cycle and doesn’t even know it -- is that a rule like not mentioning a no-hitter while it is play? And on the flip side, he helps inspire the Chris Davis/Brandon Hyde dust up that should just not have been caught on camera.

Pottymouth cross-trains with Candian Tuxedo-wearing rugby fans, who along with Brett Gardner, experience premature ejections.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.  Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com.  Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Transcript here.

Patti and the Pottymouth finally attend a Copa de la Diversión game with the Cangrejos Fantasmas. Once more, in English: we went to a Bowie Baysox game on a “Fun Cup” day, celebrating Hispanic culture, where the Baysox played as their alter-ego, the Ghost Crabs of the Chesapeake. And was Patti ever surprised to find that one of the Ghost Crabs was her Orioles boyfriend, Cedric Mullins, who was bumped down to AA to “get his Mojo working.”

In other Boyfriend news, old guy makes history.  39 year-old Nelson Cruz of the Twins hit three home runs in a game for the second time in 10 days.  He’s the oldest player to do that in a single season.

Now that we are down with the Twins, where did the Cardinals come from?  We fess up to that omission as part of our monthly predictions check-in. How did the trades at the deadline affect our outlook?  Yasiel Puig and Franmil Reyes make Cleveland better, so we are hopeful for success in the AL Central. Greinke makes the Astros untouchable, but we had them picked anyway. Patti briefly turns pottymouth to share her feelings about the Nationals picking up Hunter Strickland, even though the bullpen needs all the help it can get. Pottymouth laments the Chris Sale implosion when we talk Cy Young.

When is a trade deadline not really a trade deadline? Patti explains the Minor League, DFA/Waiver/Free Agency, Independent and International League loopholes. So. Many. Loopholes.

The Angels DFA’d collision victim Jonathan LuCroy, for an Astro, no less. Newly retired pitcher Danny Farquhar finds a new career as a pitching coach, with Omar!

Phillie’s starter Vince Velasquez plays spectacular left field, proving that pitchers are athletes.  Nationals’ new relief pitcher Roenis Elias begs to differ, as he breaks a bat and pulls a hamstring during an at-bat where he was told not to swing.  In two languages.

The Red/Pirates brawl results in 6 players and two managers suspended, with some wacky rationalization.  If we didn’t “protect our guy” the pitcher wouldn’t have been suspended?

What exactly is the problem with Cub’s reliever Brandon Kintzler’s glove? The Ump says it is the wrong color.  Fashion faux-pas? Uniform rule? Nobody knows, but 47 games played with it and NOW it is GloveGate.

350 girls played in Baseball For All’s national tournament in Rockford, IL this weekend.  Pottymouth has the report-out.

Patti cites some alliterative Cross-training in Cleveland with Baker, Beer, and Baseball. Browns QB Baker Mayfield shotguns a beer on Jumbotron while wearing a Lindor jersey, and the Cleveland Baseball Team scores five runs that inning.  Coincidence?  He used his teeth, people.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.  Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com.  Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Much to Pottymouth’s delight, Patti finally embraces “Baby Shark.”  Not as a song, of course, but as a builder of fan unity. This leads to a whole slew of rules, suggestions, and musings about fan participation (the Stretch is compulsory, but leave your Chop at home).  

Patti’s Cleveland BF Jose Ramirez is on a tear, making that early-season pick of league MVP not so ridiculous. Pottymouth’s Os BF Jonathan Villar is knocking it out of the park, showing off sexy defense, stealing bases and contributing to a historic (in a good way) week for the Orioles. Steve Wilkerson recorded the first save ever by a position player and won Patti a pizza. Mookie/Pookie Betts is showing his boyfriend cred on and off the field.  

Meet the Atlantic League, home of robot umps, stealing first base, and the consistent grip baseball.  

Pottymouth encourages support of DC Girls Baseball, or the team nearest you, as girls across the country head to Rockford, IL for the Baseball For All National Tournament. 8-year-old Ashlynn Therien will be there.  

We show some love for community baseball as Kelli Jenkins becomes the first female to play in the Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball League, for the Bethesda Big Train, currently battling your NCIB Hosts home team, the SS - Takoma Thunderbolts, for the championship. Go to a local game, and maybe win a pizza.

Patti and the Pottymouth celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Moon landing by sharing the story of Hall of Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry and one of the greatest coincidences in baseball history. You just can’t make this stuff up. Patti tries to add the story to her collection of anti-DH evidence, but timing is on Pottymouth’s side as the 2019 Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which happened moments before recording, included Edgar Martinez. So there.

The announcement of the Heart and Hustle Awards, which your hosts like to call the “Boyfriend Awards” highlight our discerning taste. It’s just that some hosts are more discerning than others.

We answer our first mailbag questions, this one about Christian Yelich and launch angle. Patti somehow makes it about Venn diagrams.

Pottymouth gleefully quotes Aaron “Frickin’” Boone (not his real name) in all of his colorful “Bronx Savages” glory, and we spend a few minutes wondering if a new slur has been added to MLB team names, and where was the umpire’s union outraged tweet this time?

The Angels’ Noe Ramirez throws at Jake Marisnik’s head, but he can’t reach him up there on the high road. Ramirez is suspended for three games, AJ Hinch’s beef is “They need to hit guys the right way,” and Manny Machado gets partial credit for calling it like he sees it.

The Grooming Segment is back as we congratulate Blue Jays rookie catcher Danny Jensen for going 2-2 with the mustache shave.

It’s always Women in Baseball week here at No Crying in Baseball, but this time the calendar agrees.  The Association of Professional Ball Players of America welcomed all women from the AAGPBL into its membership. The Oakland A’s showcased Baseball for All and introduced local middle-school girls to women baseball execs and Pottymouth challenges other MLB teams to step up in supporting girls.

There’s a disturbance in the Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League. Patti has taken over the #3 spot. Huh.

The Pulaski Yankees, that is. Patti and the Pottymouth road-tripped again, this time to Pulaski, VA (as Patti says, go to Roanoke and then keep going). After her interview in Episode 77, “Puig Fuels the Fracas,” GM Betsy Haugh invited your hosts to enjoy Ag Night at Calfee Field. She promised cows, and cows there were.  Betsy was gracious enough to chat with us again after our day at the Best Rookie-level Ballpark in the country to check in on her first year as GM, almost halfway through the season.

The Angels worked magic in honor of their late teammate Tyler Skaggs, throwing a combined no-no their first game back after the break. The moment that will be remembered though, is the tribute paid by his teammates, laying their jerseys (all bearing Skaggs’ number 45) on the pitcher’s mound after their victory.

We got through an entire segment on injuries to catchers without invoking the Buster Posey Rule, until will did. The horrifying Jonathan Lucroy/Jake Marisnick collision resulted in a broken nose, a serious concussion, a two game suspension, and a boyfriend on boyfriend smackdown between Pottymouth’s ex, Yadier Molina, and her current Astros BF, Carlos Correa. Separately, catcher BF Francisco Cervelli, recovering from concussion #6, gets into it with a journalist over his future.

Only one trade deadline this year, and Patti explains it all while happily scratching the words “non-waiver deadline” off of the vocabulary list.

Oh, and we drop names like Joan Jett, Christian Yelich, and Ronald Acuna, Jr. when we wrap up our All-Star Weekend adventure. But that buffet was Not For Us.

Patti and the Pottymouth fangirled in Cleveland over the All-Star Break. Patti cried meeting Omar Vizquel (“I love Omar”) and Pottymouth stammered during the No Crying in Baseball / Mike Napoli sandwich photo. Mike “Human Rain Delay” Hargrove demonstrated his moves. Your hosts danced at a Killers’ show and provided structural support to their fan base.  Evidence of this and more on all of our social media sites.  

We tried to pull silver linings out of a lot of terrible situations this week.  Angels pitcher Tyler Skaggs died unexpectedly, and best friend Patrick Corbin pitched the game of his life while wearing his friend’s jersey number.  Cookie Carrasco announced his leukemia diagnosis, and the Cleveland team rallies, and rallies around him. Rob Manfred’s office suspends Odubel Herrera for the rest of the season in its second most severe penalty for violation of the leagues’ Domestic Abuse policy, showing they are at last getting tough. 

Finally, we conduct our monthly check-in on our season predictions and plan a field trip to see the Pulaski Yankees.

Patti and The Pottymouth are packing their bags for All-Star Weekend in Cleveland, the land of Patti’s birth. There’s a happy dance for Anthony Rendon finally making the team and a check-in on who we are looking forward to seeing in the Big Game. The Cleveland Team and MLB are investing long-term in the community — it pays to host the All-Star Game. But before we leave, there’s a grooming segment. Fernando Tatis, Jr. is coming along nicely, thank you very much.

Russell Martin is the second best pitcher on Patti’s team, only he’s a catcher.  

The London Series just left Pottymouth with questions and sadness — Why did Gio Urshela pull a Puig? ARod without Big Papi just ain’t right. And why didn’t her hometown of Boston come through for her? Speaking of Yasiel Puig, your hosts give Pedro Strop a harsh talking to about his inappropriate in seven ways NSFW characterization.

Patti’s head explodes when the Orioles, her “other” AL team, create MLB history by shutting out Cleveland, her primary AL team, in emphatic fashion. Twice. 

There’s a support group for people seriously injured by foul balls, and if the Dodgers don’t quit talking and start doing, it’s only going to get bigger.

We celebrate girls in baseball with the Maria Pepe Series, cross-train with Women’s World Cup Soccer, mention Curaçao, and reference green adult beverages more than once, because that’s how we roll.

Breaking up is hard to do. Cleveland broke up with Leonys Martin, and so must Pottymouth. Patti and the Nationals say goodbye to Trevor Rosenthal, he of the formerly infinite ERA.  

The Chicago White Sox and the Washington Nationals are the first to take the next step in extending protective netting. In the same week that another fan seated just beyond the dugout netting in Dodger Stadium was hit in the head by a foul ball, this one off the bat of the hottest hitter in the league, Cody Bellinger, teams are finally moving to improve fan safety. The White Sox were first to announce foul pole to foul pole netting, to be installed later this summer. The Nats plan to install new high-tech mesh during the All-Star Break reaching well into the outfield.

Manny Machado drops f-bombs and flings his bat, the Umpire’s union plays fast and loose with loaded hashtags and legal terms, and Joe Torre cries foul.

Tampa Bay Rays were given permission by the League to explore splitting time with Montreal. Never gonna happen for so many reasons, but points for thinking outside the box, and making “Tampontreal Ex-Rays” a thing people say out loud.

We did Just Fine with our primary all-star picks. 

So much better than Just Fine is the wise and wonderful Perry Barber: umpire, role-model, advocate for girls and women participating in baseball in any and all capacities. Perry took time off during her cross-country drive between the Girls Breakthrough Series in Florida, and the SABR conference in San Diego, to report out from the Breakthrough Series and share some life lessons.

When did stealing home get to be a thing? Current boyfriend Leonys Martin just did it, and so did former boyfriend Elvis Andrus, and even never-gonna-be-a-boyfriend Rougned Odor. We can’t get enough of that.

Patti can totally get enough of home runs, however. The pace is scary, and too much of a good thing is boring. The ball is juiced and she can prove it with just one statistic. Baseball science. Er, math.  

Pottymouth’s David Ortiz update includes mystery and intrigue, a surprisingly affordable hit, a great deal of relief, and apparently no HIPAA regulations in the Dominican Republic.

Continuing the tradition of rock-solid logic in All-Star picks, Pottymouth selects Mike Trout specifically so he can explain why it rained when it wasn’t supposed to at the Nats game last Thursday. She picks Tommy Pham for his pottymouth (whereas Patti picks him for the much classier slamming of Tampa Bay fans), and actually selects a Baltimore Oriole, Trey Mancini, for his hype video. Hell did freeze over just then. Patti adds Michael Brantley, and also last year’s Twins BF Byron Buxton because this year he is actually awesome.

Over in the NL, Patti and Pottymouth agree on Christian Yelich and Cody Bellinger, while Pottymouth adds hometown BF Juan Soto and Patti roots for most-improved Scott Kingery.

Pottymouth goes with JD Martinez in the “DH” category, which Patti firmly believes is not a real thing. When pressed to pick someone anyway, she goes with Hunter Pence, mainly because he hit a ridiculous inside the park homer at Fenway.

The Girls Baseball Breakthrough Series happened this weekend. This may be the pipeline we’ve been looking for.

And Obi-Sean Kenobi is the best bobblehead in the galaxy.

The Nationals do Pride right, but Patti may still write a letter about rainbow jerseys. Big Papi, David Ortiz, heads to Boston for medical care after the shooting in Santa Domingo. Elvis Andrus gets in one more head rub, and a bathrobe, as the Rangers retire Adrian Beltre’s number.

The long strange trip of this year’s Free Agency season has finally come to an end. It only took until the Draft. Craig Kimbrel signs with the Cubs thanks to the thriftiness of having Zobrist on the restricted list (vocabulary alert!). Dallas Keuchel is off to the Braves to keep him away from the rest of the NL East. And everyone keeps their beards!

Patti and the Pottymouth give their All-Star Infield picks, leaning heavily on Boyfriends past and present but not completely. Hello Carlos Santana, Rafael Devers, Matt Chapman, Jorge Polanco (we still see you, Twins), and Josh Bell.

This week’s cross-training includes a Pride parade, Stanley Cup champion goalie Braden Holtby, the NBA, a Game Seven, and our new best friend Gerardo Parra.