No Crying In Baseball

Pottymouth narrows the field to white guy bat flippers for her boyfriends this week.  For the As, she picks big league foodie Mark Cahna, and for the Padres, the man on the wrong end of our favorite play ever witnessed in person, Trent Grisham. Patti goes for utility and puns with her picks.  Chad Pinder wins her over for the As with his work with special needs kids, and “that Cronenworth guy”, Jake Cronenworth for the Padres.

COVID numbers look good around the league, some ballparks are planning on fans in the stands, and some former boyfriends make bad decisions. Eduardo Rodriguez, and his recovering heart, makes his first post-COVID start.  MLB designates June 2 as Lou Gehrig Day. Sam Dyson’s season-long suspension headlines our police blotter this week, but Mickey Calloway is now a regular there.

The University of Rochester welcomes catcher Beth Greenwood as the second woman to play NCAA Division 3 baseball.  Puerto Rico’s womens baseball league doubles in size -- follow Edwin Hernández to keep tabs on that. Opening Day approaches for our favorite breakfast baseball, the CPBL. Maybe Daniel Kim can help us watch KBO games this year. Patti works “gerrymandering” into the conversation.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The return of spring training means the return of our grooming segment, featuring Francisco Lindor, as well as all the feels, thanks to Trey Mancini. And great confusion as to the rules. Jose Abreu provides a handy bridge between the COVID update and the Police Blotter, via Albert Pujols and Tony LaRussa.  Kevin Mather says some things out loud that he probably shouldn’t have, regarding manipulating Jarred Kelenic’s service time, “overpaid” players, and impatience with English as a second language.  He is no longer with the Mariners but the words are out there now.

Pottymouth salutes our German listeners with her pick of Max Kepler as her Twins boyfriend, allowing Patti to lie with exact figures about pronouncing Polish last names. Patti goes with underdog Ryan Jeffers, and not just because of the labradoodle named for Yogi Berra. For the Atlanta Baseball Team, Pottymouth selects Serie del Caribe hero from the Aguilas Cibaeñas, Johan Comargo. Patti takes tattoo-laden Cristian Pache, maybe a year too early.

We salute Alli Schroder, the first woman to play baseball for the Canadian College Baseball Conference. We institute the international version of the Police Blotter (thanks, LMB), and start paying attention to Czechoslovakian baseball.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Pitchers and catchers reported last week so that means we’re back with the COVID numbers, the Blue Jays staying south of their border, and baby steps to fans in the stands. NCiB poster boy Fernando Tatis, Jr. is a Padre for life, and forces us to do complicated math. Pottymouth generously tries to cut Brett Gardner some slack, but Patti will have none of it. Thanks to Johnny Damon and Ryan Ellis, we’ve instituted a Police Blotter segment. Zach Britton stands up for women, and sees no reason to cut domestic abuser Domingo German any slack.

Venezuela provides our Cleveland boyfriend picks, with Pottymouth claiming veteran Cesar Hernandez and Patti hoping for an Omar Vizquel do-over with Andres Gimenez. Infield Fly Girl coaches us into our Cubs picks. Pottymouth selects back-up catcher Miguel Amaya, leading us to muse that we, like Amaya, would totally follow Willson Contreras around. Patti cries into her coffee over Ian Happ and a kind gesture by the Cubs.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The League updates harassment and discrimination policies, expanding mandatory training beyond players to include staff and front office executives. A new anonymous hotline for reporting violations has been established, and although we are in favor of these baby steps, Pottymouth proposes going full public school and mandating reporting for anyone who hears of violations. Giant steps backwards in fan engagement, however, as MLB cleans house of social media coordinators. The League and the Player’s Association agreed on health and safety protocols for the coming season, learning from last year.  Expected behavior is spelled out very clearly, as are consequences, and the wearing of not-quite-ankle bracelets.

Pottymouth introduces you to some relative unknowns in our boyfriend segment, Jose Abreu for the White Sox and Nolan Arenado for the Cardinals.  Keep an eye out for these players with Cuban connections, they may make names for themselves one day.  Patti’s CWS pick of prospect Andrew “Please give me Ricky Wild Thing Vaughn’s number” Vaughn offers a chance for a romantic Valentine’s Day serenade from your hosts. For the Cardinals, Patti swaps in “family dinner” for the “have a beer” requirement and chooses brainy infielder Tommy Edman.

It’s always a good day when we can talk about Big Sexy. All this plus helpful vaccine hints, animal documentaries, and international baseball.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We talk way more Jesus than usual, as we select both veteran (“We Believe in Jesus”) Jesús Aguilar and batting left because of David Ortiz prospect Jesús Sánchez as our Marlin’s boyfriends. Kim Ng was a contender for Marlins boyfriend but we have stupid rules. Over at the Yankees, both Pottymouth and Patti go for guys that are quietly generous in their birthplaces and save the noise for the field. Pottymouth profiles Colombian Gio Urshela, and Patti tells you of mask-wearing redhead Clint Frazier.

Women sports journalists speak out about abusive treatment by Mickey Calloway, spanning three teams and at least five years.  The Angels fired him and investigations are underway.  Did the Jared Porter issue open the floodgates?  Are women feeling safer about going public?  Stay tuned.  Trevor Bauer gets the record-setting deal of his dreams, and we consider the possibility of paintball to the nuts. We wish our patron saint, Sean Doolittle, well as he is off to work his magic in Cincinnati. The Dominican Republic’s Águilas Cibaeñas win the Serie del Caribe, and the NWHL folds its season due to COVID, ripping away our chance to see women’s hockey on national TV, and allowing us to talk shady science because we’ve been drinking.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Remember in the before times when we had the joy of snow days? Anti-vaxxers delay vaccinations at Dodger Stadium, which we firmly believe disrupts both the possibility of fans in stands and the opportunity for snow days. Women continue to rock baseball, as Sarah Goodrum becomes the first woman to serve as a minor league hitting coordinator. For the fourth time in 50 years, the Hall of Fame voters elected 0 new members -- this time it seems character counts.  We ponder inconsistency over time, possible changes moving forward, and compare ARod to cilantro. 

Our Blue Jays boyfriends may be duking it out at 2B, with Pottymouth picking Santiago Espinal, and Patti claiming Marcus Semien, who she had planned on choosing later as an A.  It’s Sho time in the Cincinnati Reds outfield where Pottymouth takes veteran Shogo Akyama and Patti really, really wants to have a beer with Jesse Winker. Fire up ESPN Deportes and watch the Caribbean Series -- Pottymouth profiles the teams so you can pick your favorite. We don’t bother with a spring training countdown because we still don’t believe it is happening on time.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Now is the time, Atlanta. Honor Hank Aaron and eliminate your problematic baseball team name in one fell swoop. Hammerin’ Hank deserves it.  Kiké Hernandez and George Springer highlight the hot stove this week. The Mets fire Jared Porter for his abusive treatment of a female sports journalist (dick pics and out of control unsolicited texting). Good on ya, Steve Cohen, but next time include some women in your vetting and you can avoid the bad hire to begin with. Jessica Mendoza gives excellent context. We crosstrain with professional hockey in which the women act to end racism and the men just can’t follow health protocols.

We tiptoe back to the Astros in our boyfriend segment where Pottymouth selects Winter Ball favorite Jose Siri and Patti hopes for a comeback for 2019 Rookie of the Year Yordan Alvarez. Over in Milwaukee (dammit, Packers) Pottymouth chooses Luis Urías as her Brewers boyfriend, watching for the moment when his hamate-surgery induced superpowers kick in.  Patti hopes for a comeback for 2018 MVP and her current once and forever boyfriend, Christian Yelich.  There’s a boyfriend-laden Venezuelan home run derby and so much more in Winter Baseball. Also, there is delicious Silver Branch beer in a variety of Wicked Weed barware.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Never fear, dear listeners, our bunker is six miles from the military lockdown in place to protect a peaceful transfer of power, and we have sports. And beer. MLB’s PAC is suspending and reviewing its political contribution policy in light of the insurrection.  Owners and players remain free to donate money wherever they like, but you don’t have to condone it. Citifield joins Petco Park, Dodger Stadium, and Minute Maid Park as a vaccine distribution location, with more ballparks likely to come.The Tri-City ValleyCats sue MLB and the Astros for $15million for being tossed out of the minors after 18 years as a short-season affiliate.

Pottymouth goes straight to the top for her Mariners boyfriend pick of #1 Kyle Lewis, reigning rookie of the year, and another shining example of  the young players showing up and giving back. Patti picks exceedingly motivated next big thing Jarred Kelenick, top Mariners prospect and likely left fielder. Honduran national hero Mauricio Dubón is Pottymouth’s Giants BF for the coming season, while Patti goes for former Met’s fan favorite Wilmer Flores. These two players give us the new vocabulary words “catracho” and “catire.”

Winter ball brings us a Game 7, baby, in LIDOM, a COVID reprieve, Yadi, and a good story about Roberto Alomar in LBPRC, and a lot of familiar names plus too many people in the stands in Venezuela. Women’s hockey starts 1/23 in Lake Placid and on Twitch TV.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Cleveland fans mourn the loss of Francisco Lindor and Cookie Carrasco, as the Mets made the hottest of hot stove moves last week. The Nationals, and Patti, come to terms with Kyle Schwarber, the target of one of Patti’s most vehement sports grudges. RIP Tommy Lasorda, he of the long and colorful Dodger history and the despicable denying of his son’s life and death. Mookie Betts and Brianna Hammonds finally make it official after 15 years and one child.

Our boyfriend segment brings random themes of injuries, dreadlocks, bobbleheads, and grand slams. Pottymouth, in her best “if Pepé Le Pew were from Boston” voice, names Franchy Cordero her Royals BF, he of the adorable hair and flashes of brilliance. Patti finally gets to claim outfielder Michael A. Taylor, now that he is no longer a Nat. A little weird to name a BF who is getting married in a few days, but it’s not like that. How did NCiB never name Phillies’ Andrew McCutcheon a boyfriend until now?  He’s perfect for us and now Pottymouth’s got him. Patti has had her eye on Alec Bohm, the second coming of Jayson Werth, since August. 

In winter baseball, will the Puerto Rican league get going again? LIDOM is full of playoff excitement and MLB players to watch, and Pottymouth is so through with the Sydney Blue Sox.  Need to feel great? National treasure Maybelle Blair is turning 94, and asks you to donate to the International Women’s Baseball Center.

Until next time, stay the hell inside (we clearly aren’t kidding about bunkers), wear your mask, watch your distance, and fight The Man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The Red Sox hire Bianca Smith, the first Black woman coach in the MLB, who could not be more impressive. We may have to come up with a new boyfriend category. Smith played college softball, club baseball, and has degrees in sports law and sports management, preparing for when she’ll be a GM. Crosstraining with women’s hockey, the way we do, not only will the NWHL season be officiated by an all-female crew, the season will be played at Lake Placid’s historic Herb Brooks Arena and NBCSN will broadcast the February playoffs -- the first time the games will be carried nationally.

San Diego is throwing down with the Dodgers for sure -- signing Blake Snell and Yu Darvish in quick succession. Anticipate arm wrestling between your hosts for who gets the Padres pitching squad for the season.  MLB promises not to jump the line for COVID vaccines, bringing up parallels to the testing questions from last season. 

Pottymouth leans toward the 30 year-old dads for her boyfriend picks, while Patti atones for last week by going all in for young players giving back in big ways. For the Mets, Pottymouth chooses newly signed Heart-and-hustle-y catcher James McCann, and Patti picks Dominic Smith, part of the Mets embarrassment of riches at first base. Angels SS, and former Cuban National team player, Jose Iglesias, newly acquired from the Os, finally catches Pottymouth’s attention. Young and motivated Angels outfielder Jo Adell, with a disappointing 2020 season and an amazing gift for community-building, is Patti’s pick. Please visit Baseball Generations, Smith’s LA-based organization, and the Jo Adell Foundation, to learn more about bringing baseball opportunities to underserved communities.

It’s playoff time in winter ball. Throw some money to Cespedes Family BBQ and they’ll tell you everything you need to know about LIDOM and then pass that cash right along to the Nelson Cruz’ Boomstick Foundation and The Paloma Project. That’s way more useful than spending money on Australian Baseball, where the Blue Sox aren’t even playing due to COVID, but Manny and Rachel continue to have a good time.

Your hosts will be hiding in the bunker this week as the wingnuts come to your Nation’s Capital. Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.