"Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman"

Boobs, bush, and Blahniks topped with chocolate, prostitution, and low self-esteem. The lovely and talented Emily Fenton (@ylimenotnef_) joins us for hot takes on the encounter of the century: Naked SJP vs. Nijinsky. See you *THEIR*!

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

Lilian Tanner: @liliantanner

Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"Politically Erect"

We're back with a fiver, and so is our favorite Mad Man Roger Sterling, and like all politicians, he has a dastardly secret. But that's not all! Samantha finds her match, but can she look past her superficial hangups? Plus, Miranda also finds her match (it's STEVE!), and I honestly don't remember what happens to Charlotte--oh yeah, she hosts a party? I guess that's a storyline?

So sign your NDAs and drink some water, because it's time to pee.

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

Lilian Tanner: @liliantanner

Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"Where There's Smoke...

What’s sexier, firemen or postmen? Roger Sterling or Don Draper? Hitler or Mussolini? Send us your answers! But in the meantime, join us and our very funny guest Kate Atanasio (@italianchameleon19) to to tackle high hopes for Miranda and Steve, Charlotte’s story line, Samantha’s sexuality, and Carrie’s emotional trauma. So hold on to your Jimmy Choo’s, because it’s time for Sex and the City season 3, baby.

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

Lilian Tanner: @liliantanner

Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"Ex and the City"

NEIIIIIGH! This week we are four of the wildest horses this here city has ever seen! Since it’s the season two finale we brought back one of our favorite guests and SATC experts, James Tison (@jamestison)! This episode has it all: Steve, extended horse metaphors, Mr. Big wearing sandals, and a truly insane Cobb salad. Can Carrie and Mr. Big be just friends? Or will he ruin it all as per usual? Let's find out!

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

Lilian Tanner: @liliantanner

Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"Twenty-Something Girls vs. Thirty-Something Women"

The penultimate episode of season 2, ladies and germs! You thought this was all fun and games, didn't you? Well so did our sexy ladies. So fun, in fact, that Carrie strings along a boring bore, Charlotte gets crabs from a studly stud, Samantha goes to work, and Miranda cooks! All this, plus our very funny guest Katie Johantgen (@katiejoyofosho) of off-Broadway's The Office! A Musical Parody (@theofficemusical) takes on the battle of the twenty-something girls and the place where dreams are broken: The Hamptons. Oh and keep this on the DL, but someone special makes a surprise appearance...

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

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Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"Was it Good for You?"

Boy oh boy, this is a doosy with a capital 'SILLY.' Our dear host Lilian Tanner is coming through in the clutch to break down Miranda's clean linens, alcoholism, and Charlotte's sex drive. Can you believe Charlotte is bad at sex? I can.

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

Lilian Tanner: @liliantanner

Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"Shortcomings"

It was only a matter of time until Sex and the City ran out of actors in New York and had to hire Justin Theroux to play ANOTHER one of Carrie's boyfriends--but his hair is different, so it's cool. Things are getting spicy, so we bring the very funny, very controversially named Codie (Cody) Buege (@codybuege) onto the pod to drag Theroux, family, and jizzing in your pants.

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

Lilian Tanner: @liliantanner

Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"The Fuck Buddy"

In this episode Ethan and Emily put aside their disagreements because #1: there’s no time, and #2: this episode is too good to fight about! Carrie tries to turn a fuck buddy into a relationship, Miranda basically stars in her own version of Big Little Lies, and Charlotte asks out TWO boys! On top of all that, the ladies have a picnic where Carrie dresses as a milkmaid and somehow manages to not have the craziest outfit there. It has to be seen to be believed so google it while you listen. Seriously.

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

Lilian Tanner: @liliantanner

Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"Games People Play"

We've been saying it for weeks, and now they're finally doing it! They're going to therapy! Well, Carrie is anyway. But it's a start! It might have gone well too, if she hadn't met a young Jon Bon Jovi in her shrink's waiting room (oh yeah, it's the real Jon Bon Jovi, we're halfway there, baby.) But that's not all, Charlotte's on the hunt (again) and Miranda puts on a peep show for her neighbor! I hope she doesn't get disbarred!

And all of this in only FIVE MINUTES!

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

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Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin

"La Douleur Exquise!"

This is an emotional episode. No doubt about it. We're talking fetishes, abusive relationships, and workplace healthcode violations. My vote is we skip over Big's emotional unavailability and Carrie's masochism and spend the whole episode talking about Charlotte's shoe shopping. Anyone? Votes? Fine.

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No One Will Watch TV with Us: @noonewillwatch

Lilian Tanner: @liliantanner

Ethan Charles Abramson: @_ethancharles

Emily Austin: @chemilychaustin