Nobody Asked for This Podcast

Dave and Brandon get inside the mind of a serial killer in this week's review: Manunter (1986) and Red Dragon (2002). Brandon killed it in US History 1, gets a wee bit traumatized, and receives a volume boost (you still can't hear him - mumbler!). Dave worries about Alex Jones, knows all about cadaver swapping, and continues to claim victim status. Dragon lives matter. #savealexjones #NWpassage #americanhumblebrag #boatfreedom #killallhumans #paparoach

 

***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Dave and Brandon are back with some hot brainwashing tips in this week's review: The Manchurian Candidate (1962 & 2004). Brandon means things in the moment (and only in the moment), almost said tranny, and puts ketchup on his hotdogs (very immature). Dave thinks Hollywood is full of pedophiles, wouldn't know what it's like to be inflamatory, and might be ready for an insurance based gender change. Always dress the dog, not the bun. #headphoneglasses #nhdsc #hotdogporn #Qanon #theinternetisforever #ironic #bohemiangrove #hotdoginsurance #hocuspocus #franksinatra 

 

***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Give us a call: 908-509-1205

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Dave and Brandon team up with Ian for the longest (and probably most offensive) episode of 99% Sure to date. The trio cover some taboo topics in an attempt to have a meaningful discussion without referencing the internet (seriously, don't let your kids listen to this one). Ian shows up early, is pro-abortion (and anti-pedophile), and he thinks if you're over the age of 50 there's no use for you (but he doesn't need therapy). Brandon shows up late, has never heard of potatoes behind your ears, and was the original creator of Star Wars Mad Libs. Dave invents a new crypto-currency, gets white wine wasted, and invents a hypothetical white woman. Never tell a clone they're a clone. #gripesandgrapes #toysrus #therocktomhanks2020 #souporsalad #seriousthings #alexandriaocasiocortez #womenlivesmatter #leftheadphone #6daylaw #barbrastreisand #shutupdave #hanshootsfirst #whyyourewrong #jamesgunn #ratchet #notides #terrypratchet #therapy #dumbaccents #tacobell #deadbabies

 

****SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY SPOILERS**** 

 

***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Give us a call: 908-509-1205

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Dave and Brandon get totally sidetracked in the second part of their epic Mr. Deeds two-parter. Join our dynamic duo as they discuss everything from Trump to immigration to Solo: A Star Wars Disaster. Brandon teaches us about shipping, has an iced tea related mishap, and doesn't get the least bit aggitated about Trump (jk, he's pissed). Dave is a moderate douchebag, stands up for black hole rights, and is totally cool with what Disney has done to Star Wars (yup, no problems). Women don't like Adam Sandler. #discipline #summer #gooutside #liljon #kattwilliams #thedarktower #33000emails #trumpputin2020? #helsinki #NRA #lockherup #hondasolo #nodice #wookiedick

 

Han Solo Kinect song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_xJqkzngBI 

 

***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Give us a call: 908-509-1205

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Dave and Brandon throw down with this week's review of Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936) and Mr. Deeds (2002). Brandon has testicles on the brain, supports women having jobs, and thinks Frank Capra is BS. Dave is worried about Kanye, goes to war with a knat, and is straight fire now so he doubts a depression will change that. You don't see street sticks anymore. #bossbuddy #sharpestcog #careerliving #mrrogers #kazaam #spawn #whatwedointheshadows #alsharpton #johnmcenroe #greekswitgifts #garycooper #womenwithjobs #prairieoyster #testiclefestival #cinderellaman #dragonenergy #kyledunnigan

 

This one goes out to Jean Seridge. We love you. May you rest in peace.

 

***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Give us a call: 908-509-1205

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Dave and Brandon make a deal with the devil on this week's episode as the duo review Bedazzled (1967) and Bedazzled (2000). Brandon can't be bothered to watch a movie he claims to love, and gets "abused" (this is what you're here for), but he knows his Faust; so at least he's got that going for him...which is nice. Dave agrees with Brandon (or maybe not), battles with The Daily Motion in a struggled to the death, and tells the world about Coca Cola. And now, nuns on trampolines. #stbwauconda #whoispetercook #thedevilisfemale #wheresbrendanfraser #batmanvsuperman # avarice #2cool4britishrule #familymatters #startrek66 #faust #dontqueenonme #eyeroll #makeawish #wishingetiquette #fun #monkeyspaw #truckdriversoftomorrow #lesbiansareok #funny

 

 ***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Give us a call: 908-509-1205

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Dave and Brandon forget to watch a movie, but that's OK, because they're never short on BS. We catch up with some current events and reminisce about some of the movies they've watched. Brandon doesn't like immigrants (although he seems uncomfortable around white people too), knows what pour-over-coffee is (how posh), and screws with the mic for about 8 minutes (don't worry, most of it gets removed in post). Dave is either a porn nazi or he watches nazi porn (we're still unclear on which), claims to read books (sure pal), and thinks apre rape might be a seller. Red Cruz is Canadian, Ben Carson is black (did you know?). #ciscobrewers #gripa #ack #nantucket #applecidervinegar #solo #foreigners #trumpgret #spaceforce #epa #totallyunbiased #draintheswamp  

 

 ***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Give us a call: 908-509-1205

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Dave and Brandon try desperately to avoid a paradox this week as they review The Time Machine (1960 & 2002) - apparently there was one in 1978 too but no one has ever heard of that one. Brandon is single AND employed (ladies), does the podcast naked (ladies), and might be screwing up the into on purpose (but probably not, ladies). Dave's had it up to here to Nazis and porn (as suffixes), switches back to beer (for health reasons), and might be slightly facetious (all the time). God bless America, and Brandon Eggert. #job #ladiesloveajob #ruleofthumb #7seas #freedom #saudiarabia #canada #loans #duckmoney #incels #jordanpeterson #12rules  

 

***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Dave and Brandon get downright brutal with their review of Conan: The Barbarian (1982 and 2011). Brandon is a wayward spirit (or a rose), thinks Arnold is an "actor", and is super afraid of bugs. Dave kicks of his lecture series, wines about Windows 10, and could think of worse things to do with children. You remember that time Arnold nailed his maid? #savedaveswindows #discipline #writethatdown #infinitywar #mehsolo #funny #happy #love

 

 ***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Dave and Brandon are once again joined by Ian for an under informed, half-cocked conversation of quasi-truths and partial falsehoods. From movies to Mexicans these three try to have an intelligent conversation without any access to the internet. Ian doesn't spoil movies, calls out Putin, and isn't better than you. Brandon gets squeamish, supports a robot's right to choose, and firmly disavows pizza-gate. Dave knows how to treat a lady, admits to being upper upper class, and probably texted you a happy birthday (you just don't remember). Christine is a person. We all have white privilege. #lastnames #dragonenergy #trumpwest2020 #jfk #funny #happy #love

 

 ***THIS PODCAST CONTAINS SPOILERS***

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Hit us up at: [email protected]

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