NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

It’s Monday, and the Dabbleverse at least seems to be calming down over the last weekend. evin is very bugged by Ray’s rejection of his demands and cannot seem to get over being hurt by one of his best baby boys. Steel Toe Morning Show is in a tailspin after what seems like a weekend of separation of Aaron and April Imholte. Will she save what’s left of her salvageable years and get out of this toxic relationship and lifestyle, or bury her head in the sand and tap out, refusing to fight back against a man who is clearly using her up as fast as he can? Only time will tell! This morning we wonder what life must be like on April Anderson’s farm with her mama and papa scrimp. Does she want to run back to her simple life in the woods?

It’s been an odd week, but it’s hard to focus on much more than the goings-on of Steel Toe and the disaster that is April Imholte aka April Anderson coming to the realization that she is trapped in a life that isn’t what it seemed just a few years ago. Rapidly approaching 30, stuck taking care of children that are not hers, performing tasks for a job she doesn’t comprehend, and not being allowed to seek a more fulfilling purpose outside the home that could bring stability to their financial life. The wedding rings are off. The tears are flowing. April is collecting a salary from her parent’s home while Aaron tries to keep in all together for the loyal few who still don’t see the train wreck is coming for these midwestern mopes!

This week has been an amazing one for the Steel Toe Morning Show. After weeks of speculation about April Imholte aka April Anderson being on some kind of hard drugs that are wreaking havoc on her mind and body, her husband has continued to hide her from the show audience while she cries, or recovers, or copes, or looks for a job, or gets off the smack, or heals her open sores, or finds other men to turn her out for quick fix. We can’t be sure. Is April engaged in tons of sexual hobbies with stacks of men? Is she on some kind of hardcore narcotic? Why is she bouncing from on the show to off the show in these big emotional swings? What is Mooby covering up? And more importantly, how is he winning again today after taking down the insane cry-fest he performed Tuesday night?

The Steel Toe delusion show marches forward. This time April has recovered enough to try to host a show on her own again, but we all know Mooby can’t allow his factory-worker wife to run things on her own for too long. Let’s watch the latest cringe sessions from our favorite set of mindless Minnesotan radio hosts. Patrick wants to check in on our favorite fats to see what they have been up to. Our favorite sitting chef has a recipe for a pizza that you’re definitely not going to want to try, and another once of our tubby heroes thinks she’s going to become a runner. Finally, did you know Corey Adam has been busy cranking out reels that nobody watches and he still hasn’t figured out how to get the editing and sound right on his own phone. Strap in!

Could this be the turn be have all been waiting for? April Imholte is taking a step back from not doing anything behind the scenes and missing shows left and right. It’s just too much for her. Aaron breaks down the issues surrounding his hiring of April and so much more. He’s determined to make this marriage work by making the business fail. Let’s discuss!

Just because it’s April Fool’s Day doesn’t mean we will be tricking people left and right over here. That kind of thing is best reserved for shows who need to distract you with works and whistles. We do a serious, fun show over here. Aaron Imholte needs money this month, and he is definitely going keep reminding us about it so that him and his wife can continue their make-believe careers. Donkeylips aka Micheal Ray Bower does not want a new computer for free. He’d rather keep complaining about obstacles and hardships so he doesn’t ever have to actually try. John Melendez aka Stuttering John inspires Patrick to declare April the month of celebrating change. Won’t you come help us celebrate change and truth?

We’ve got a lot to comb over in the Steel Toe universe today. Patrick takes a few days to catch up on some of the other happenings, and the cope and excuses have been flowing from the Minnesota trash couple. Wait until you hear the reasoning behind April Imholte’s complete lethargy over the past two months. Poor April doesn’t know where to buy stamps, or how to track packages, or where all her envelopes have gone! How will this couple ever survive! With all of the winning going on in the Steel Toe universe, Mooby sets his sights on Compound Media, for the umpteenth time going in to a fantasy description of what it would be like for him and April to actually be paid for their talent, or lack thereof.

Early onset Kevin cannot stop lying to his audience, and more importantly himself, about his relationships with people and his career. Resulting to putting down Dave Attell to make himself feel better about the obvious state of his life. Let’s watch Kevin’s latest show and pick apart what the old man is going through, and what the immediate future could hold for the future of Misery Loves Company. Michael Ray Bower is on a run of bad luck. First, his decade-old computer has given up the ghost, and his repeated attempts to talk it in to working and replace it with an even older machine have failed. As if things couldn’t get worse, Donkeylips could have been involved in the kid-touching scandals at Nickelodeon? Perhaps a recent package can turn things around for the once-prolific actor-turned-sad-sack.

As the dust from the Dabbleverse settles and everyone else besides Kevin Brennan realizes that Mike Bochetti’s simple charm has worn thin, Patrick still has some questions. The drama around one Stevie Lew needs to be put to bed. and Patrick has some final thoughts. We watch a recent interaction between Ray Devito, Quadfather and Stevie on a recent podcast, and try to decipher whether or not this entire thing is a big joke. Chad is back in Tampa, and the drinking and depression train is sure to hit the wannabe comedian hard as he falls back in to his daily routine of not working. The lessons of the day are to be careful who you associate with and watch what you say to strangers. Before you know it your own husband could be trashing you on a podcast, or you could be caught in more lies than you can manage to maintain.

Seriously, there isn’t any show. Don’t wait for it. It’s not going to start. Patrick is ill. There is no higher being. We are all floating on a rock through the ether with no purpose or consequences. This is all for nothing. Jkjk but things are off and Patrick is in a funk. Stevie Lew wants to rehash the past and lie again. This guy is addicted to being a victim, and probably doesn’t have anyone’s best interest in mind but his own. Stevie tries to strike a low-blow with some insider info and falls flat on his 6’6″ ass. We find out how important wives are and decide once and for all if anyone cares at all about them. Patrick loves Mersh now and that’s the end of this show. Steel Toe Morning Show was live from Nick the Dick’s house because the Imholtes spent the entire weekend at their home away from home.