NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

When will this week be over! Jkjkjk we are having a good time over here. Patrick can prove it by ranting about a bunch of stupid things right off the top! Ray DeVito is having some kind of breakdown. Have you caught the new show sweeping the Shuli Network! Patrick has got a drinking game that you can play at home. Climb aboard a magical moon ship to the far away land of Derek Savage, and dare to learn the seductive art of gun safety from a man who looks like he has several types of whiskey radiating from his mouth and/or body at all times. But at least there’s ALMOST no Cool Cat in this project.

Happy Tuesday, dear friends! We’re so glad you could join us to worship at the alter of weird this morning! Patrick is feeling rough, and he’s going to take a text live on the show. What kind of test? You know. The thing that we can’t type or it ruins the algorithm. Patrick wants to update you on Angie Krum, one of Las Vegas’ most lost ladies of laughter. She’s been hustling for over a decade just to be passed around the valley like a cheap rental car and filled with the lowest octane goo around. A new contender has emerged and she has a puppet. Perhaps her lore goes beyond Las Vegas. Wait until you meet this complete loon! What is going on here? Let’s whine about it all!

It’s September 11th, and we should never forget what those one guys did to us that one time in New York. You think traffic is bad on a normal Tuesday? PLEASE! Let’s have a moment of silence for Ray’s self-awareness, since we’re morning things that have long since passed. We watch some of Ray Devito’s Rock Bottom best from the weekend, and it just keeps getting weirder. Speaking of weird, Thai Rivera has posted two videos about his recent loss – the beloved Bijou was snatched up by a coyote. Nothing says mourning like making two monetized heavily edited videos while your dog is still stuck in a coyotes teeth. More clipper and discord drama has reared its ugly head, so we might as well get some yelling out of it! Bring a cord, because your battery is gonna DIE, son!

It’s been a week of wild twists and turns, and the rumors are more interesting than the truth. Patrick helps the haters focus on the real issues. Michael Ray Bower has still not answered Patrick’s offer to come on the show, nor mentioned the care package Patrick sent with The Willies VHS and several items of NLO merch. Will he ever acknowledge it? Did he even receive it? Bower has lots of excuses for why he was not cast in some epic films, and one of them is that he’s too thin! Patrick thinks producer Joe copied something weird from NLO to troll him, but Patrick is just dumb! Chad Zumock shows that even a room full of producers can’t help him be funny on Alex Stein’s sad and confusing Blaze.tv show.

Rumors are swirling that Drunk on Cringe is a GONER! All of his social media, his YouTube channel and his website have vanished. There’s even an announcement of his DEMISE from his poor, fat German mama! Patrick issues his statement and addresses the allegations. Kevin Brennan has gone missing, YouTube issues an apology to Shuli, and Joey C is biting off more legal problems than his trailer trash family can afford. Ray DeVito is going live, and we’re gonna be sniping him just because! It’s wacky timeslot week here at NLO, so deal with it and roll with the changes. You can’t dodge an onion, ya big spalootch! It’s a Thursday and we are most certainly doing it.

It’s Tuesday, and Patrick is doing another afternoon show. This time he is on painkillers so he can hopefully last a little longer with his sun-damaged dermis. Patrick wants to abandon the MLC-related stuff for today. Will he succeed? Las Vegas comedians have been running amok lately and we should check in on the mental health of some of our most broken souls! Once again, the Edwin San Juan podcast delivers some gold again with our old friend Lex Las Vegas. Let’s try to have a nice time, ok? Nobody start no fights or nothing.

You and your entire family are about to get SPONKED! That’s not even a word but you bet your entire caboose on the fact that this show will be more lit than most tire fires in this corner of the internet. Come watch me YELL HORRIBLE about it for hours. But maybe not too long. We will see.

Men have been hogging all the attention for too long. This is true in comedy as it is in so many other industries. With all the tantrums and fighting going on in the world, it’s easy to overlook all the wonderful women out there with the same issues as men. Women comedians also can’t get work. They also think they are funnier than they are in real life, and they also need some tough doses of reality. Patrick finally goes over the Summer Sinclair podcast with Las Vegas comedian Edwin San Juan.

People seem to be disturbed by some of Patrick’s choices lately, and Patrick is beginning to question his own sanity. There’s a growing trend of women in the so-called Dabbleverse, and it’s not going well. Patrick has noticed some disturbing women around the podcast world this week, and we should discuss them in detail. From Tracey Jane to the new Patty featuring on MLC, it’s all going sour! Patrick receives a warning that has him chilled to his bones. Will it be enough to make him cool the situation off? We check in on one of our old favorites from outside this sphere of nuts, Heather Gillespie. She’s spiraling in an all new way.

We’ve been busy collecting lots of dirt on our friends up in Minnesota, and you won’t believe what we’ve heard! Aaron and his little scrimp are planning a covert trip to Las Vegas THIS WEEKEND and don’t want you, and more importantly Patrick, to know about it! Is this the behavior of a man who wants to box? We watch Aaron miss another goal and end the show on a bummer note for the second morning this week. But Patrick knows the importance of ending the show on a high note, so you won’t believe what he drops at the end today! Let’s have a nice, fun Tuesday!