NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

The Onions are coming! It’s Sunday, so reach under your seats and grab the bag of trail mix your granpapa set aside for emergencies! Patrick’s back with a whole bag of new “meh” for you to twiddle your little brains about. Patrick is concerned about fans who donate with unrealistic expectations. Patrick has a new favorite chicken spot. Is anyone else getting too fat? There’s some hot takes on the death of the queen and the integrity of the powerful. What is going on in the world? Steak is too expensive and everyone is broken. Smart people are believing insane things. Ryan Bourassa lashes out about his recent allegations of atrocity. Thai Rivera has learned some more video editing tricks and he can’t stop making manic home movies. Thai has a car that can’t stop breaking down when he tries to drive to crappy clubs for work. Men don’t know how things work anymore.

Patrick is fresh off his appearance on the Laugh After Dark podcast and he’s going to spill all the dirt. Our chat room members are all hiding something. Patrick has a big announcement about the Overdose to kick off the night on the right foot. There’s a word of warning for people thinking about home invading Patrick in the future. Johnny Brim spent his Monday trying to find enough signal out at Hoover Dam to post multiple cope fits about the recent show that covered his roast with Casper. There’s been a giant misunderstanding and tonight we get to the bottom of it. Johnny Brim shows up in the chat and the boys bury the hatchet like gentlemen of means. Casper the Comic might be more insidious than we originally realized. Regardless of his intentions, the overconfidence embodied by this dude is beyond cringe.

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We are holding Laugh After Dark accountable to the standard of other Las Vegas comedy specials. Adam Dominguez. Skillz Hudson. The comedy cube is on fire! We check them all out. Patrick tells the story about getting drunk with Todd Glass in Tampa years ago. We fire up Amazon Prime and purchase Diaz Mackie's special to see what standards are being set in Vegas comedy. It seems like our old pal Trouble aka Artemio Rios aka Gutter Breath aka Coke Throat has produced and put together a night like no other for the taping of this release. But has the special caused a riff between Trouble and Diaz? How did Diaz do? How does it look and sound? Did they pay to play copyrighted music in this thing?

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Let's watch Thai Rivera's latest blunders and his appearance on Kill Tony, which is a show where rich comedians throw garbage at poor comedians. Will Patrick have his logo fixed? Who knows! Your guess is as good as the next them's. Patrick is coughing a lot. He challenges the chat room to a BBQ competition, and our old friend Steve Curran is offended at the notion. Thai does a new video in which we get a glimpse of some of his professional camera equipment. He also boasts about how he didn't edit the latest episode of Unbothered, which allows us to get glimpses of his life in his sad studio, filled with flies and an air conditioner that doesn't work. He also complains of car trouble and tells the tale of the worst mechanic "in the world."

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Set your oscillospheres to fun! Let's clarify the extent to which this program goes after people. Johnny Brim is upset. A refresh of the whole Angie Krum situation - no hard feelings involved. We find something called The Paprika Show, hosted by Thai Rivera's favorite pianist, David "Hollywood" Hulett. We somehow go on a deep exploration of Ryan Bourassa, who pretends to be some successful YouTuber and has other dummies in the comedy community fooled. Ryan explains the reasons he has recently withdrawn from the comedy community. We've never seen more sad lies and coping from a pale stick-boy.

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Patrick is here with a basket full of life lessons that are sure to apply to you somehow, so grab a spork and dive in. We kick off the show talking about people who go gray at a young age, and how embarrassing it is to try to hide it. Patrick has some new creations from Daddy Derek Savage and Cool Cat. These videos are short and disturbing, and are sure to make you feel better about your life. We watch Big Irish Jay’s infamous “blacks joke” and decide if it’s racist. Patrick taks about Josh Denny and Gavin McInnes trying to prank their audience with a fake raid by the authorities. It’s a fail of such giant proportions that it has to have been concocted by Josh behind the scenes. Owen Benjamin reveals the prank on social media and Josh throws a fit. Irma Ruiz busts in to the chat and demand Patrick watch and critique her videos.

You’ve been missed, children! Patrick is back from NYC, Scotland and Lake Tahoe and he has stories. So much has happened that we need to discuss! There’s new comedy specials, from local friends and big stars. Patrick has heard a super-sad sprinkle of a rumor through Agent O reports about a beloved member of the Las Vegas comedy community. Patrick can’t stop watching the creations of other Vegas comedians. Thai Rivera has appeared on an episode of Kill Tony, so he can’t edit out his ticks! We watch a mentally ill local Vegas guy named Johnny Brim who, for some reason, thinks he’s a savage comedian, but more closely resembles a lonely fat boy on a playground who’s not sure who to mimic to fit in. Patrick has more questions for Rob from Laugh After Dark about doing a special. Kenan Thompson is back at it again, looking for new comedians to rip off in the most insane grift ever! The fatigue of doing a show gets to Patrick after a bit and he calls the show early, promising more soon.

Patrick is off to NYC and Europe for a few weeks, so don’t get your bunch in your panties about it. Patrick cannot get over the comedy groups in Las Vegas, and the clueless people who constantly post their insane creations for no discernible reasons. The Comedy Cube is tricking comedians left and right in to doing comedy in a warehouse in Los Angeles. Andrew Schulz is circling back to grift his dumb fans with his special for the second time, and they’re lapping it up! Saudi Arabia is out of control and is vowing to build a whole city in a narrow mirrored glass strip in the desert. It looks like a disaster that can’t possibly function before ground is broken. Patrick is basically having a breakdown about how stupid comedians are across the board. From stealing memes to posting hot garbage on the daily, it never ends with these clueless dopes.

Sorry for the clickbait title! Patrick talks about receiving an offer to do a comedy “special” for the fine folks at Laugh After Dark. His self-esteem is not at a peak, and he thinks the idea of doing a comedy special in this climate is crazy, as well as his complete inadequacy when it comes to quality and quantity of comedic talent. Rob, one of the producers of Laugh After Dark, joins the chat because apparently someone has tipped him off about the discussion. Patrick runs a bunch of insane requirements and ideas by Rob, who seems more amused by some than others. Two things are clear – there will be a standing ovation and there will be a performance by the UNLV drumline. Don’t miss today’s after show for real-time comedy alerts and a breakdown of Mark Seritella, a comedian slash producer Patrick has a lot of issues with.

Patrick doesn’t feel like doing a show, but you mean so much to him, he’s gonna do it – probably. Patrick is frantically preparing travel plans to get on the road and do some shows this summer abroad. Thai Rivera may be done streaming his open mic, as he continues to send his baby birds, aka open mic mid-wits, to do his bidding online and beyond. Comics need to stop saying they kill all the time. Somehow Patrick gets lured in to discussing all the pressing hot topics of the day again, and we are mostly talking about the ending of the tiny ones. Patrick invents a new character, Neil DeGrasses Diceman. Patrick learns he doesn’t even know what he’s wrong about. Someone in the chat creeps everyone out by talking about a family member in a way they shouldn’t. Let’s all take a trip back to Florida in our minds and find out why. We explore David Cross and his recent appearance on Your Mom’s House, cementing in history his comedy decline.