NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS episodes

  • NLO 1452: Black Guilt

    Patrick is back with some interesting facts and a whole lot more screaming, so if you love to head that kind of stuff, start getting hard now. If you don’t like it we all know you’re going to watch anyway. Kitty Pineapple can’t stop messaging Patrick and she really needs to decide if she’ sorry or tough. Casper and David “Holy Shhh” Hulett are struggling with their open mic, and instead of money you can now win noodles for the best set. Summer Sinclair thinks she can sing and needs to be dragged behind a car immediately. Comedians think goin viral is a credit but their social media accounts can never back it up. The Comedy Store experiences more drama as Patrick gets word of a physical fight between Sam Tripoli and girl band Machine Gun Kelly. Stupid people love to talk with their fists. Kumail Nanjiani isn’t satisfied with more roles – he wants them all. The Golden Globes trot out their new host Jerrod Carmichael and it goes bad very fast. Watch a talented comic have a mental breakdown about race and being a victim. Jerrod wipes away crocodile tears with one hand while pocketing a $500,000 check with the other.







    ***The Golden Globe/Jerrod Carmichael portion of this show is heavily edited and lots of sound is muted out due to copyright use. For the full version of the show and aftershow, download the audio version from the website or watch the Overdose version of the video.
    1 hr 32 min
  • NLO 1451: 9th Island Naive

    Wait until you hear about this shit! Patrick has received a threat from Kitty Pineapple and it is not good. Could Patrick be on the verge of being cancelled? You decide! Nah but seriously, David Lee aka Kitty Pineapple aka Island 9 Fit Guy tried to blackmail Patrick, and it did not work in the most spectacular way. Why do Kitty Pineapple’s threats carry no weight? Why can’t she seem to focus on what she is actually upset about? Has this mediocre nobody confused herself so badly with someone who is successful that she thinks she has the power to “ruin” other comics? The delusion is strong with this one. We wish Penny Prince a happy birthday and try to focus on some of the positives of the Las Vegas comedy community. Lex Las Vegas is mad about something, but he’s so emotional and broken we can’t really tell what. His show, The Spotlight, seems to be a real point of pride, but Patrick can’t figure out why. This is a great story about delusion meeting real life, and then recalibrating in real time.
    1 hr 59 min
  • NLO 1450: Bummer Sinclair

    Happy New Year, baby girl! Join Patrick and a choir of crustaceans as they sing about their new year’s resolutions and sacrifice entire limbs to Ra about it. Patrick addresses some misunderstandings and makes some apologies for his past aggressions. Lex Las Vegas and Leah Menudo don’t deserve to be treated like common crooks. Kitty Pineapple is still just a gimmicky joke. Patrick has some tips for smoking meats. William Strange is a broken-brained, weak sourpuss of a man who uses being a victim to gain sympathy when it’s convenient while acting like a complete psychopath himself. Summer Sinclair raised her hand recently in a Facebook thread that was asking for female headliners, and no one deserves it less. This chick is closer to Andy Kaufman than any trans Dole whip out here in these streets. Patrick offers some advice to comedians who think that lying to themselves and others in a healthy look. Skippy Sprinkles is horrible for the comedy scene. Davian Velez allegedly loves to wave a gun around and urinate in his own house. The Vegas comedy scene is the most embarrassing epicenter of sad sacks you’ve ever seen. Lock your pet ducks up! Tonight could get mild as fffff…
    2 hr 36 min
  • NLO 1449: Gritty Pineapple

    We hope you’re full of Christmas goose, or suckling pig, or tofurkey and whatnot, because Patrick has restocked the whiskey barrel and charged up his FPV drone for a fantastical flight of fury. This show is about heading in to 2023 with a healthy perception of reality. For instance, is Casper actually a decent comic? Does filming a two minute video do anything to drive your enemies crazy? Is David Lee actually Kitty Pineapple? There’s so many things to talk about in this show, and at times it gets a bit tense, but stay grounded, kids. It’s not about who the next Andy Kaufman is. It’s not about whether you get recognized everywhere you go. It’s about whether you sound mentally ill when you say things, and Patrick is the king! We breakdown The Spotlight with Lex Las Vegas, Patrick gets some angry texts from a man who wears his hair shaped like devil horns, and we learn the difference between getting laughs and being funny. Thai Rivera gives us a tour of his new place in Austin, and some advice on how to keep everything you’re doing a secret.
    1 hr 35 min
  • NLO 1448: Lax Las Vegas

    Patrick gets an anonymous angry email regarding several people on the Las Vegas comedy scene! We have so many new rabbit holes to go down! We talk about comedian David Lee aka Kitty Pineapple and try to figure out what’s going on with that situation. Lex Las Vegas loves everyone in town, but we aren’t sure that’s a great thing. A pregnant open mic comic named Caitlyn Daisy B is being roasted in a smoky bar, because she’s an absolute killer comic and a legend on the Vegas scene. Jkjk it’s a garbage fire that won’t light because it’s soaked in amniotic fluid. Skippy Sprinkles is not good or funny, and it’s getting sad. Honesty is dead amongst comedians because of their desire to be liked. Angie Krum can’t stop posting basic nonsense and falling for scams, but she wants to cut your hair for free…kind of. It’s a whole vibe over here in the Vegas comedy world, and that vibe is delusional dorks pretending to be amazing. Strap in, or don’t. Who cares?
    2 hr 8 min
  • NLO 1447: Forgetting Sara Schaefer

    Strap in, suckas! We are all over the map on this one! We talk about the fallout of the latest show about Butch Bradley and his misbehaving. The Sword and Scale podcast needs to be investigated. Lex Las Vegas and Trouble in Vegas are taking over this town! Casper quits YouTube in embarrassment. Patrick thinks people should stop being nice to everyone. Remember Sara Schaefer, the dead weight Nikki Glazer tried to carry around for a couple years? Patrick reminds viewers that before her big MTV break, Sara Schaefer thought she deserved to be a full-time comic, despite the lack of talent. She quit her job and begged for money in exchange for potholders she knit in her tiny Brooklyn bird box. We walk through what Sara has been up to since, and it’s mostly breakdowns and editing punchlines out of her own stories. You won’t believe it! We finish strong with our favorite goon from days of old, Nick Starr. Nick has a new podcast, no confidence, and vocal fry for days! You’re not gonna wanna miss this insane attempt at entertaining the masses!






































    1 hr 46 min
  • NLO 1446: Tip Me, Daddy!

    Patrick is here on a Friday night, and the drinks and opinions are flowing. On this show, Patrick explores Donald Trump’s latest scam – collectible NFT trading cards, featuring some of the sickest Trump memes out there. What is he doing with this money? Who are the idiots advising our leaders? Elon Musk becomes more and more unhinged as he lets his personal emotions dictate policy at Twitter, sometimes with very little notice to users. Is someone after him? Doesn’t he have other companies to run? The White House is probably lying. Wild Fork Foods sends Patrick a very special gift package. Women are confused about who they are and how they are supposed to behave ad relate to men on dates. Delivery drivers seem to be confused about where their paychecks are supposed to come from. Why don’t people remember what tips are and how they are supposed to work? White Castle has AI taking your order at the drive-thru now.






































    1 hr 46 min
  • FREE BONUS: Thai Rivera RUNS AWAY To Austin!
    Grrrl can you believe it? Our favorite little Asian girl, Thai Rivera, has run off to Austin, Texas, exactly as predicted by Patrick over one year ago. She is nothing if not super basic! We watch Thai explain in his normal exhausting way the basics of moving as only he can. Poor Bijou! Patrick has new predictions that you're going to want to bet on down at your local sportsatorium. Will Thai find the friendships, respect and popularity he is looking for in Austin? Or will he be spit out the bottom of the open mic scene just as he has in Phoenix twice, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas? Will he be banned from the clubs there like he is here? Will his "friends" like Tim Dillon and Tony Hinchcliffe put up with his ignorant gay sass in their town?
    This content is for OVERDOSE MEMBERS only. Visit the site and login or register to access this content.
    2 hr 6 min
  • BONUS: Getting Weird and Looping
    Patrick has a looper and it's Friday night, so why not get together and see what happens about it? Thanks so much for making NLO a part of your being! Some guy tries to get Patrick into a crypto scam called VECHAIN! Patrick has some vodka for a change. A troll throws money at the show and claims victory! We talk about the Established Titles scam with a real scotsman. We get in to how insane Kanye West is, and someone in the chat brings up a video that Kanye was in about Joe Rogan and mechanical bees. I'm not sure what's edited and what's real, but one thing is for sure - Kanye is bananas on a level we can't begin to comprehend.
    This content is for OVERDOSE MEMBERS only. Visit the site and login or register to access this content.
    37 min
  • NLO 1445: Bitchin’ About Butch

    Patrick is sauced up and dives in to the always-entertaining world of comedian Butch Bradley, detailing his bad behavior over the years, including his attempt to slander, libel, and fail to pay Patrick for services rendered. Who is this INSANE and UNHINGED comic, where did he come from before the Las Vegas scene, and why is here here? Patrick talks about his LA Comedy Club residency, his questionable treatment of friends and loved ones, and the facade and uncomfortable vibes that make up the world of Butch Bradley – the FUNNIEST comedian in Las Vegas! Don’t you agree? 😂






































    3 hr 18 min

About NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

From the publisher's feed

For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world,…

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