Non-Stop Comic Shop

(Please be advised: This is part 2 of a two-parter)

For your lucky number thirteenth visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, Ike Perlmutter's years-long endeavor to replace the X-Men with the Inhumans has crashed and burned, and the boys have invited Jonathan and Patti from the Mutant Musings podcast to come dance on its grave. In the first half, the gang reviews the alleged salad days of the franchise with Paul Jenkins & Jae Lee's Inhumans, and they conclude that a lot of things must have looked Eisner award-worthy compared to Heroes Reborn. Then in the second half, an epic length autopsy on Marvel's the Inhumans tv show, which clearly looked at the Jenkins/Lee opus, kept everything that sucked, and made everything good about it utterly horrifying. Among the many questions that will be angrily answered: Why is Karnak grateful that most people have forgotten about Johnny Carson? What important lessons could Gorgon have learned from Grand Moff Tarkin? How did Crystal evolve from a woke abolitionist to a bubble-headed racist? How could Maximus be played by Ramsey Bolton from Game of Thrones and still be easily more likeable then our heroes? Is Reefer Madness an MCU movie? And doesn't the Fox/Disney deal render this entire enterprise completely pointless? #ComeAtMeBronaja

(Please be advised: This is part 1 of a two-parter)

For your lucky number thirteenth visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, Ike Perlmutter's years-long endeavor to replace the X-Men with the Inhumans has crashed and burned, and the boys have invited Jonathan and Patti from the Mutant Musings podcast to come dance on its grave. In the first half, the gang reviews the alleged salad days of the franchise with Paul Jenkins & Jae Lee's Inhumans, and they conclude that a lot of things must have looked Eisner award-worthy compared to Heroes Reborn. Then in the second half, an epic length autopsy on Marvel's the Inhumans tv show, which clearly looked at the Jenkins/Lee opus, kept everything that sucked, and made everything good about it utterly horrifying. Among the many questions that will be angrily answered: Why is Karnak grateful that most people have forgotten about Johnny Carson? What important lessons could Gorgon have learned from Grand Moff Tarkin? How did Crystal evolve from a woke abolitionist to a bubble-headed racist? How could Maximus be played by Ramsey Bolton from Game of Thrones and still be easily more likeable then our heroes? Is Reefer Madness an MCU movie? And doesn't the Fox/Disney deal render this entire enterprise completely pointless? #ComeAtMeBronaja

Merry Christmas, Happy belated Hanukkah, Happy Life Day, and Happy “Canadians Punching Each Other” Day to you on your 12th visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop! On tonight's show, Jordan reviews all five staves of the unhappy union between the undead hordes and classic Dickensian literature known as Marvel's Zombies Christmas Carol. Featuring: Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, a floating jawbone, a scene mistakenly lifted from Citizen Kane, a baby and a rhino, and Jacob Marley's Chastity Mask! Plus: Brendan compares zombies to Frosted Flakes when applicable. After the break, it's our end-of-year news roundup, where we remark on the Justice League box office fallout, the Fox/Disney deal, the MCU's second alien man/Earth woman period romance, Deadpool's trusty cameraman Wayne Campbell, Woody Harrelson's first serial killer role since 1994, Thanos' John McClane impression, and maybe some news about comic books if there's time. #MoreOfGravyThenOfGrave

For your eleventh visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, the boys reach into Jordan's “Why the Hell do I Own This?” collection and pull out Avengers Confidential: Black Widow X Punisher, a Marvel licensed anime that sadly does not feature Dracula eating a hamburger like the last one they did. After preventing him from killing Vash the Stampede's dad, Black Widow recruits the Punisher on her mission to stop her bizarrely motivated ex-boyfriend from joining those guys from Agent Carter's show and flooding the world with embarrassingly awful super-soldiers. Guest starring: a horny 12 year-old and Kirby the Pokemon! Then after the break, Jordan takes his shots at Netflix's new Punisher series. He lambasts the poor continuity from Daredevil Season 2, shares his dream casting choice for Ma Gnucci, misuses the non-existent word “Anvilicious”, and dramatically learns the subtle difference between airsoft and paintball. #HeroOrMurder

For your tenth visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, the boys balance the scales with a comparative look at how the big and small screens both handled the coming together of the Justice League. First up, on the “Secret Origins” episode of the Justice League animated TV show, a foolish attempt to redo the plot of Superman IV: the Quest for Peace invites a highly derivative alien invasion. Can Batman, Superman, the guy WAY more powerful than Superman, and four other guys who just showed up out of nowhere (two of whom are basically Klingons) save the series until it gets to it's far better second season? Then, in the theatrical Snyder-Whedon joint, cinema's blandest villain is leading a highly derivative alien invasion. Can Batman, Wonder Woman, plastic upper lipped-Superman, and three other guys who just showed up out of nowhere (who weirdly have colorful costumes, senses of humor, and a desire to prevent civilian casualties) save the DCEU until it gets a second good movie?

For your ninth visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, Jordan first tries out his Weird Al Yankovic impression, then treats you to a look of Thor #184-6, a story arc so lazy and boring that it's actually vividly memorable. We've got a vague bland cosmic evil, enormous comedy swords, jewelry-based politics, a race of giants that defy their description in the D&D Monster Manual, and an awful new character who proves that silence isn't always golden. After the break, our review of Thor: Ragnarok, the only Thor movie Brendan has ever wanted to see. How does it's improvised comedy stack up to that other Thor movie, Ghostbusters? Does “the Immigrant Song” prove as vital to this film as “Sabotage” did for Star Trek? Was it even more “80's” then Guardians vol. 2?

For your eighth visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, Jordan celebrates Halloween with his review of Witches: the Gathering, a mid-2000's Marvel miniseries that deserves to be burned at the stake. Can a trio of sexy, half-naked and horrible young ladies protect the mystical Marvel universe from Satan #5 of 8, Dr. Strange's incompetent leadership, and the writer's own crushing apathy? After the break, the boys dive into 2006's (or 20003's) Man-Thing, the only Marvel slasher movie until New Mutants comes out next year. Starring: boring hero Sheriff Kyle Whatshisname, Floridian redneck Bulk and Skull, unlikeable disposable victims named after celebrated comic creators, and Trish Walker from Jessica Jones! Bonus: incredible revelations about Kevin Feige, Life Magazine, and Iron Man 3!

For your seventh visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, the boys play some Russian Roulette with two comics that embody the spookiness of the Cold War! First up is famed DC Elseworlds tale Superman: Red Son, the ultimate “Everyone loves, and no one has read” comic, which Brendan has read, and he both loves and hates it. Starring: the CIA's pal Jimmy Olsen! Benevolent murderer and Walkman inventor Lex Luthor! Imaginary prison architect Hal Jordan! Batman: the Bailey's Irish Cream of superheroes! And Ukranian-born Superman, the goody two-shoes big blue boy scout who's also complicit in state-sponsored genocides! After the break, Jordan reviews Avengers #36-37, the story about alien invaders Pixar and female prototype Ultron failing to account for Russian super-spy Black Widow's ability to flagrantly defy the Comics Code Authority!

For your sixth visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, Halloween month kicks off with our reviews of two anemic animated comic book films starring Dracula. First, some hot bat-on-bat action with The Batman (that's THE Batman) vs. Dracula, an unrated blood-drenched children's movie. Then, the celebrated late-series run on Marvel's Tomb of Dracula adaptation (and bad anime holy grail) known as Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned. We've got kung fu Penguins, wheelchair sword-fights, incompetent Bostonian contractors, infuriating pseudonyms, eye gleam, tasty burgers, vampire Joker's blood showers, the goddamn Batmap, and a dead baby. Happy Halloween!

For your fifth visit to the Non-Stop Comic Shop, we're dedicating the day to everyone's favorite red-clad sai-wielding ninja who isn't a turtle, Elektra! First up, Jordan's review of the first three issues of Elektra: Bloodlines, a tribute to watercolors, dream logic, and YOLO guns! Can ol' Electric Nachos and her new friend 1920's flapper Harley Quinn rescue Cape Crow (who is neither a bird nor a wide mountainous peninsula) from the jaws of Cannibal Mega Man? After the break, the boys rush to the defense of the Defenders. Can Netflix's popular stable of Marvel heroes (and Iron Fist!) prevent Sigourney “The Thumb” Weaver from pillaging Manhattan's Chinese dragon burial ground? Does Stick hate the Hand as much as he hates his own hands? Can Elektra avoid reliving the plot of that awful Jennifer Garner movie?