Nonfiction4Life

In Flags of Our Fathers, James Bradley captures the compelling true story not only of his father John Bradley but also of the five other Marines who planted an American flag atop Mt. Suribachi in Iwo Jima, Japan. These men simply raised a flag to mark their victory. However, with the help of photographer Joe Rosenthal, this particular moment was immortalized forever. Even on the very day of its first printing, The Photograph ignited unprecedented patriotism. Indeed, The Photograph would quickly become the most reproduced photo in history and the model for the world's tallest bronze monument. Yet, it would also be fundamentally misunderstood. In Flags of Our Fathers, James Bradley explains why.

00:15   A special Veterans Day podcast

00:25   Intro to James Bradley, author of Flags of Our Fathers

00:30   Story of six men who fought in Battle of Iwo Jima and raised a flag on Mt. Suribachi

00:45   Moment immortalized by photographer Joe Rosenthal

01:05   Bradley, historical nonfiction author specializing in WWII Pacific Theater

02:10   “The only thing new in the world is the history you don’t know.” – Harry S. Truman

2:30   Bradley unaware of his father’s part in WWII history and reality of Iwo Jima

03:45   Why veterans tend to not discuss war

04:30   Horrors of war incomprehensible and repulsive to civilians

05:45   “The real heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who didn’t come back.” – John Bradley

06:10   Flag-raisers put on tour by President Truman (survivors vs. heroes)

06:45   “Doc” Bradley’s friendship with bosom buddy Iggy, a clumsy misfit also from Wisconsin

07:15   When Iggy is tortured to death, “Doc” has to identify the body and inform the family

09:00   Book organized around biography of each of the six flag raisers

09:30   Sergeant Mike Strank works to get the “boys” home to their mothers

10:15   All the men accustomed to hard work and some form of religion

11:00   Marines turn small-town mama’s boys of the ‘30s into a fighting spearhead

11:30   Native American Ira Hayes – most prolific letter-writer of all; intensely shy; volatile

12:30   Difficult time to be an Indian; mocked as “Chief Falling Cloud”

13:15   Hayes very literate and articulate, but lives an interior life as a cotton picker

14:15   Bradley joins John Wayne on Hollywood movie set of The Sands of Iwo Jima

15:55   Who is San Franciscan photographer Joe Rosenthal?

17:00   Famous flag-raising on Mt. Suribachi actually a very ordinary, non-event

18:00   “It was the happiest moment of my life.” – John Bradley, speaking of the first flag-raising

19:00   Second flag raising, accidentally captured in Rosenthal photo, ignites the populous

19:45   The Photograph has electrifying effects at home, but not among the troops

21:00   Three surviving flag raisers enlisted to go on a bond tour to help pay for the war

21:10   Flags of Our Fathers movie by Clint Eastwood – fourth movie based on The Photograph

21:20   Fame of The Photograph emblazoned everywhere – Americana!

22:20   Famous photo is fundamentally misunderstood

22:45   “It was about as significant as going to the post box to pick up the mail.” – Rene Gagnon

24:10   Battle of Iwo Jima – one of the most vicious in all of history

24:50   James Bradley has a personal connection to Japan via Notre Dame program

26:10   Humble, quiet Japanese culture would have resonated with John Bradley

26:45   Bradley returns to Iwo Jima, Japan with mother and three brothers

27:35   “You can’t write about a battle until you walk the battlefield.” – Stephen Ambrose

28:15   John Bradley awarded Navy Cross for his actions on Iwo Jima

30:15   Takes Americans five days to get from beach to top of the mount

31:00   How John Bradley taught patriotism and religion in small-town Wisconsin

32:00   How the flag raisers want would want to be honored on Veterans Day

32:30   Recommendation: Taking Chance, a 2009 movie (historical war drama with Kevin Bacon)

Trailer for "Taking Chance"

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Ruth Reich writes Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise, chronicling her six years as a famous food critic. After a stint in L.A., Reichl is delighted to return to her New York roots and even to some of the same places she frequented as a child. To go to eateries undetected, over time, she develops six different disguises that take on their own personalities and personal histories. Using these costumes, Reichl is able to go to restaurants incognito. Her very believable masquerades become her best weapon against getting favored treatment in the finest restaurants of New York City and allow her to see the genuine quality of the service and food.  

00:10   Happy Halloween—a day to celebrate tricks and treats

00:25   Intro to book, Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise by Ruth Reichl

00:35   Reichl uses disguises while a celebrated New York Times restaurant critic

00:45   She eventually leaves the Times to become editor of Gourmet, a long-standing magazine

01:00   Reichl’s six disguises transform her into different people with unique backstories

01:45   “Molly” disguise – conservative, Midwestern woman

02:00   “Miriam” disguise – Reichl’s mother personified

02:20   “Betty” disguise – frumpy, old lady ill-treated by New York restaurateurs

03:00   Book includes actual restaurant reviews, showcasing her exquisite writing

03:20   Small “taste” of her review of Daniel, a famous 4-star New York City restaurant

04:20   Mouth-watering critiques are an amalgamation of at least five visits

04:45   Reichl includes husband and son Nicky in her visits to restaurants

05:05   Takes Nicky on the prowl to discover the best potatoes in the world

05:40   Book includes recipes, including simple ones, such as one for hash browns

06:25   Recommendation: Magnolia Table: A Collection of Recipes for Gathering by Joanna Gaines

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Ruth Reich writes Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise, chronicling her six years as a famous food critic. After a stint in L.A., Reichl is delighted to return to her New York roots and even to some of the same places she frequented as a child. To go to eateries undetected, over time, she develops six different disguises that take on their own personalities and personal histories. Using these costumes, Reichl is able to go to restaurants incognito. Her very believable masquerades become her best weapon against getting favored treatment in the finest restaurants of New York City and allow her to see the genuine quality of the service and food.  

00:10   Happy Halloween—a day to celebrate tricks and treats

00:25   Intro to book, Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise by Ruth Reichl

00:35   Reichl uses disguises while a celebrated New York Times restaurant critic

00:45   She eventually leaves the Times to become editor of Gourmet, a long-standing magazine

01:00   Reichl’s six disguises transform her into different people with unique backstories

01:45   “Molly” disguise – conservative, Midwestern woman

02:00   “Miriam” disguise – Reichl’s mother personified

02:20   “Betty” disguise – frumpy, old lady ill-treated by New York restaurateurs

03:00   Book includes actual restaurant reviews, showcasing her exquisite writing

03:20   Small “taste” of her review of Daniel, a famous 4-star New York City restaurant

04:20   Mouth-watering critiques are an amalgamation of at least five visits

04:45   Reichl includes husband and son Nicky in her visits to restaurants

05:05   Takes Nicky on the prowl to discover the best potatoes in the world

05:40   Book includes recipes, including simple ones, such as one for hash browns

06:25   Recommendation: Magnolia Table: A Collection of Recipes for Gathering by Joanna Gaines

BUY Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise

BUY Magnolia Table: A Collection of Recipes for Gathering

Connect with Nonfiction4Life on social media:

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• Instagram
• Twitter
• YouTube

Special thanks…

• Music Credit
• Sound Editing Credit

Maxwell King brings us The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers, the first full-length biography of American's unique and enduring icon. Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, Rogers' program that changed the face of children's television and influenced tens of millions of children, reaches its 5oth anniversary. Now, beginning with Rogers' childhood, King captures his life of kindness, compassion, and authenticity by drawing on original interviews, oral histories, and archival documents. Fred Rogers, whose life and work continue to be loved by multiple generations, is captured in The Good Neighbor as, above all, a champion of children.

00:15   Intro to Maxwell King’s book, The Good Neighbor

00:25   Background of Fred Rogers, children’s television personality

01:00   King given permission to write first full-length biography of Mr. Rogers

01:30   2018 marks the 50th anniversary of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood

02:00   Intro to Maxwell King: author, journalist, former President of Heinz Endowments, former Executive Director of the Fred Rogers Center, CEO of the Pittsburgh Foundation

03:00   King designs the book to have two lives: biography and academic source

03:30   How King gets involved in writing the book after meeting Rogers only twice

05:30   Rogers’ early life and background profoundly affect his life and work

06:45   King aims to explain how Fred becomes “Mr. Rogers”

08:00   His understanding mother listens to Fred, not as an adult but as an equal

08:45   Family’s wealth makes Rogers more of a target for mean kids

09:10   Bullies chase and call him “Fat Freddy”; runs to safety at neighbor’s house

09:40   Adults wrongly advise him, “Just pretend you don’t care.”

10:00   Transformative moment: refuses to adopt a strategy of not caring

10:30   Teenage Rogers turns sensitivities into strengths; becomes leader and scholar

11:30   Great reader and student of French and philosophy

12:40   At 10 years old, selects an ebonized Steinway concert grand piano

14:25   Wealthy grandmother keeps her promise to buy him piano, transforming his life

15:55   Rogers’ piano now sits in the Fred Rogers Center at St. Vincent’s College

16:45   Fills lonely early years with music and puppets

17:20   Channels his personas in iconic puppets (Lady Elaine Fairchilde, King Friday, Daniel Tiger)

18:30   Packs away puppets for years until he needs them in an emergency

20:00   Josie Carey, live character on The Children’s Corner, forms relationship with puppets

20:50   Carey and puppets model adult/child relationship

21:35   Unlikely friend: John Pastore of Senate Subcommittee of Communications

21:45   Their televised encounter becomes most studied clip of all time

22:30   Fred testifies to help save funding for public television

23:00   First and foremost, Rogers considers himself a friend and neighbor

23:20   Most important thing in Fred Rogers’ life

25:30   Rogers’ key tactic for presenting on television

26:10   Dr. Margaret McFarland, child psychologist, becomes Rogers’ lifelong mentor and friend

26:50   Works with Univ. of Pittsburg scholars: Benjamin Spock, T. Berry Brazelton, Erik Erickson, McFarland

27:30   Group dramatically reshapes child development philosophies and practices

29:00   They depart from Victorian notions; determine ages 0-3 most critical for development

29:30   Rogers longs to do more than entertain

29:50   Weaves child development learnings into Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood

30:00   Rogers’ program goes national in 1968

30:30   Helps promote what really matters in child development

31:40   Cares much more about content than presentation (in contrast to Sesame Street)

32:15   Opposes fast pacing in children’s television

32:45  Designs “theme weeks" to discuss difficult topics (divorce, war, loss) for 5 consecutive days

34:30   Leans into tough topics and keeps an intentionally slow pace, including silence

35:30   Story of Rogers’ courage: “Feeding the Fish”

37:15   Children never tire of lyrics from Rogers’ signature opening song and closing remarks

38:45   Recognizes universal values of respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and kindness

39:15   Rogers' core philosophy: “Slow down. Be kind.”

41:00   Teaches human values, letting Christianity shine through

42:00   Rogers character, style, and personality congruent (on and off screen)

42:45   King surprised by Rogers’ simple exterior and deeply complicated interior

43:15   After his death in 2003, Mr. Rogers’ ideas and influence live on

45:35   Recommendation: YouTube video of Fred Rogers testifying before the Senate committee

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Special thanks!

• Music Credit
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Maxwell King brings us The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers, the first full-length biography of American's unique and enduring icon. Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, Rogers' program that changed the face of children's television and influenced tens of millions of children, reaches its 5oth anniversary. Now, beginning with Rogers' childhood, King captures his life of kindness, compassion, and authenticity by drawing on original interviews, oral histories, and archival documents. Fred Rogers, whose life and work continue to be loved by multiple generations, is captured in The Good Neighbor as, above all, a champion of children.

00:15   Intro to Maxwell King’s book, The Good Neighbor

00:25   Background of Fred Rogers, children’s television personality

01:00   King given permission to write first full-length biography of Mr. Rogers

01:30   2018 marks the 50th anniversary of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood

02:00   Intro to Maxwell King: author, journalist, former President of Heinz Endowments, former Executive Director of the Fred Rogers Center, CEO of the Pittsburgh Foundation

03:00   King designs the book to have two lives: biography and academic source

03:30   How King gets involved in writing the book after meeting Rogers only twice

05:30   Rogers’ early life and background profoundly affect his life and work

06:45   King aims to explain how Fred becomes “Mr. Rogers”

08:00   His understanding mother listens to Fred, not as an adult but as an equal

08:45   Family’s wealth makes Rogers more of a target for mean kids

09:10   Bullies chase and call him “Fat Freddy”; runs to safety at neighbor’s house

09:40   Adults wrongly advise him, “Just pretend you don’t care.”

10:00   Transformative moment: refuses to adopt a strategy of not caring

10:30   Teenage Rogers turns sensitivities into strengths; becomes leader and scholar

11:30   Great reader and student of French and philosophy

12:40   At 10 years old, selects an ebonized Steinway concert grand piano

14:25   Wealthy grandmother keeps her promise to buy him piano, transforming his life

15:55   Rogers’ piano now sits in the Fred Rogers Center at St. Vincent’s College

16:45   Fills lonely early years with music and puppets

17:20   Channels his personas in iconic puppets (Lady Elaine Fairchilde, King Friday, Daniel Tiger)

18:30   Packs away puppets for years until he needs them in an emergency

20:00   Josie Carey, live character on The Children’s Corner, forms relationship with puppets

20:50   Carey and puppets model adult/child relationship

21:35   Unlikely friend: John Pastore of Senate Subcommittee of Communications

21:45   Their televised encounter becomes most studied clip of all time

22:30   Fred testifies to help save funding for public television

23:00   First and foremost, Rogers considers himself a friend and neighbor

23:20   Most important thing in Fred Rogers’ life

25:30   Rogers’ key tactic for presenting on television

26:10   Dr. Margaret McFarland, child psychologist, becomes Rogers’ lifelong mentor and friend

26:50   Works with Univ. of Pittsburg scholars: Benjamin Spock, T. Berry Brazelton, Erik Erickson, McFarland

27:30   Group dramatically reshapes child development philosophies and practices

29:00   They depart from Victorian notions; determine ages 0-3 most critical for development

29:30   Rogers longs to do more than entertain

29:50   Weaves child development learnings into Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood

30:00   Rogers’ program goes national in 1968

30:30   Helps promote what really matters in child development

31:40   Cares much more about content than presentation (in contrast to Sesame Street)

32:15   Opposes fast pacing in children’s television

32:45  Designs “theme weeks" to discuss difficult topics (divorce, war, loss) for 5 consecutive days

34:30   Leans into tough topics and keeps an intentionally slow pace, including silence

35:30   Story of Rogers’ courage: “Feeding the Fish”

37:15   Children never tire of lyrics from Rogers’ signature opening song and closing remarks

38:45   Recognizes universal values of respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and kindness

39:15   Rogers' core philosophy: “Slow down. Be kind.”

41:00   Teaches human values, letting Christianity shine through

42:00   Rogers character, style, and personality congruent (on and off screen)

42:45   King surprised by Rogers’ simple exterior and deeply complicated interior

43:15   After his death in 2003, Mr. Rogers’ ideas and influence live on

45:35   Recommendation: YouTube video of Fred Rogers testifying before the Senate committee

Connect with us on social media!

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• Twitter
• YouTube 
• Website

Special thanks!

• Music Credit
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Authors Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen teach skills for receiving feedback in their book, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. Subtitled Even When It Is Off Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and, Frankly, You're Not in the Mood, the book strikes at the heart of why getting feedback can be uncomfortable, awkward, and even painful. Stone and Heen hit the troubles and triggers that surround the skills we need to accept opinions and advice from others.

00:15   Intro to Doug Stone, author of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

00:25   Founder of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School

02:00   Janet’s daughter-in-law read Feedback at Vivint (company) book group

02:20   Vivint employees share their feedback with Stone

02:40   Book includes good advice for feedback givers, too

02:50   How should we give feedback to those who don’t want to receive it?

04:20   Why Stone focuses on receiving rather than on giving feedback

06:00   Receiving feedback can be both really hard and really helpful; an active skill

07:00   Long subtitle explains the feedback conundrum

07:45   Most don’t really want feedback; life experiences tell us it can be painful or wrong

08:20   Receiving feedback not the same as taking feedback

09:30   Types of feedback: appreciation, coaching, evaluation (We need all three!)

09:45   We get emotionally tangled when we hear one kind and need another

10:45   Coaching: at the heart of feedback; helps us improve; can be specific

11:10   Evaluation: ranks or places us; comparative

13:00   Receivers should elicit from feedback givers the kind of feedback they need/want

15:10   Norman Rockwell’s triple self-portrait included at end of book

16:00   How to amplify our own blind spots

17:00   Paradox – think we know ourselves best, yet feedback often reflection of unknown parts

17:45   Unbeknownst to us, body language and facial expressions can belie our true selves

19:15   Increase awareness of our silent messages by actively soliciting help from others

21:20   Use language that elicits the precise type of feedback you’re seeking

24:40   Genuine, truthful feedback can jeopardize relationships

25:10   Book’s teachings can give voice, confidence, and power to strengthen relationships

25:30   Asking for workplace feedback can make you easier to work with

27:15   Feedback can enhance our “growth mindset” (Carol Dweck)

28:45   Unclear feedback (coaching vs. evaluation) – receiver can choose which to hear

29:45   Coaching feedback easier to take in than evaluation

30:45   “Constructive criticism”

31:20   Two kinds of coaching: how to improve you and how to improve a relationship with you

34:00   How to avoid the “Google bias”

38:50   Receiving feedback requires a degree of courage

40:45   Reframing feedback makes it easier to receive

41:30   In business, make the topic of feedback easy to discuss

44:30   Recommendation: True Colors Card Game: What Do Your Friends Really Think of You?

BUY Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

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Special thanks…

• Music Credit
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Authors Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen teach skills for receiving feedback in their book, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. Subtitled Even When It Is Off Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and, Frankly, You're Not in the Mood, the book strikes at the heart of why getting feedback can be uncomfortable, awkward, and even painful. Stone and Heen hit the troubles and triggers that surround the skills we need to accept opinions and advice from others.

00:15   Intro to Doug Stone, author of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

00:25   Founder of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School

02:00   Janet’s daughter-in-law read Feedback at Vivint (company) book group

02:20   Vivint employees share their feedback with Stone

02:40   Book includes good advice for feedback givers, too

02:50   How should we give feedback to those who don’t want to receive it?

04:20   Why Stone focuses on receiving rather than on giving feedback

06:00   Receiving feedback can be both really hard and really helpful; an active skill

07:00   Long subtitle explains the feedback conundrum

07:45   Most don’t really want feedback; life experiences tell us it can be painful or wrong

08:20   Receiving feedback not the same as taking feedback

09:30   Types of feedback: appreciation, coaching, evaluation (We need all three!)

09:45   We get emotionally tangled when we hear one kind and need another

10:45   Coaching: at the heart of feedback; helps us improve; can be specific

11:10   Evaluation: ranks or places us; comparative

13:00   Receivers should elicit from feedback givers the kind of feedback they need/want

15:10   Norman Rockwell’s triple self-portrait included at end of book

16:00   How to amplify our own blind spots

17:00   Paradox – think we know ourselves best, yet feedback often reflection of unknown parts

17:45   Unbeknownst to us, body language and facial expressions can belie our true selves

19:15   Increase awareness of our silent messages by actively soliciting help from others

21:20   Use language that elicits the precise type of feedback you’re seeking

24:40   Genuine, truthful feedback can jeopardize relationships

25:10   Book’s teachings can give voice, confidence, and power to strengthen relationships

25:30   Asking for workplace feedback can make you easier to work with

27:15   Feedback can enhance our “growth mindset” (Carol Dweck)

28:45   Unclear feedback (coaching vs. evaluation) – receiver can choose which to hear

29:45   Coaching feedback easier to take in than evaluation

30:45   “Constructive criticism”

31:20   Two kinds of coaching: how to improve you and how to improve a relationship with you

34:00   How to avoid the “Google bias”

38:50   Receiving feedback requires a degree of courage

40:45   Reframing feedback makes it easier to receive

41:30   In business, make the topic of feedback easy to discuss

44:30   Recommendation: True Colors Card Game: What Do Your Friends Really Think of You?

BUY Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

BUY True Colors Card Game

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Special thanks…

• Music Credit
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From 30 years of coaching, teaching, and parenting, Karl Subban knows how to ignite potential in young people. He captures his strategies in How We Did It: The Subban Plan for Success in Hockey, School and Life. In the backyard and the schoolyard, Subban has spent his life encouraging kids to dream big, set goals, and accomplish great things.

00:15   Intro to Karl Subban – author, coach, teacher, and parent

00:55   Intro to the five accomplished Subban children

01:20   How Karl’s dreams morph through time (from cricket to basketball to teaching)

01:55   All three Subban boys play professional hockey

02:20   Back to school, hockey, and kids chasing dreams

03:10   Jamaican family of origin built on a foundation of hard work, giving, love, care, safety

04:35   Learns early about discipline, right and wrong

04:50   Hockey skills vs. life skills

05:15   Everyday parenting never ends, even when children are grown

05:50   Giving unconditional love, support, and time

06:15   Can’t influence kids without spending time with them

06:30   Discipline and boundaries part of raising a healthy child

06:50   “It takes a village” to raise a child, including resources such as time

08:15   Giving wings to kids’ dreams starts with potential

08:45   Coaches in Greater Toronto Hockey League

09:30   The three-legged stool of potential: dreams, belief, and action

10:10   Son P.K. Subban dreamt to play hockey (NFL Nashville Predators)

10:30   Belief vs. doubt requires reinforcing our belief system

11:00   “Designer” parenting (bulldozer, helicopter, or lawnmower) not the answer

11:30   What do kids say about their own motivation and ability to learn and grow?

12:00   Potential – our gift at birth; fulfilling potential – our gift to the world

12:50   Action activates the dream

13:55   Parents’ dreams vs. kids’ dreams (story of middle son Malcolm)

14:10   O.K. to have a dream for a child

14:45   “Clear the way, pave the way, and get out of the way!”

15:50   Malcolm wants to be a goalie, but Karl sees him as a hockey field player

16:40   Now, Malcolm plays goalie for the NHL Las Vegas Knights

17:15   Attributes family success to strong marriage & loving relationship with wife Maria

17:35   Raising five children a key ingredient to the Subbans' marital success

18:55   Karl and Maria agree on a problem but not on an approach

19:35   The “24-Hour Rule”

22:25  Most important life lessons: learning to respond to conflict, handling adversity 

23:40   1 in 1000 boys who register to play hockey goes on to play an NHL game

23:55   How realistic is it to help kids chase dreams when odds are against them?

25:00   One dream leads to another; always keep dreaming

26:10   Subban girls pursue own dreams while helping brothers fulfill theirs

28:30   Children must be good at something in addition to school

29:30   Subban values practices more than games (winning)

29:55   You are what you practice; practice makes you better (in every area)

30:30   Every child needs a balance of pushing and inspiration

31:15   What Subban would do differently (as an educator)

32:05   Seeing children's potential influences how they see themselves

32:15   Ascribes to Carol Dweck’s Mindset approach to growth

32:55   Successful parenting also requires believing in children’s potential

34:15   Subban wants his kids to continually move on with dreams, not just play hockey

34:50   Making it professionally important, but so is "making it in life"

36:10   Recommendation: “Nights Up” (a parenting tip)

BUY How We Did It: The Subban Plan for Success in Hockey, School and Life

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• Music Credit
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From 30 years of coaching, teaching, and parenting, Karl Subban knows how to ignite potential in young people. He captures his strategies in How We Did It: The Subban Plan for Success in Hockey, School and Life. In the backyard and the schoolyard, Subban has spent his life encouraging kids to dream big, set goals, and accomplish great things.

00:15   Intro to Karl Subban – author, coach, teacher, and parent

00:55   Intro to the five accomplished Subban children

01:20   How Karl’s dreams morph through time (from cricket to basketball to teaching)

01:55   All three Subban boys play professional hockey

02:20   Back to school, hockey, and kids chasing dreams

03:10   Jamaican family of origin built on a foundation of hard work, giving, love, care, safety

04:35   Learns early about discipline, right and wrong

04:50   Hockey skills vs. life skills

05:15   Everyday parenting never ends, even when children are grown

05:50   Giving unconditional love, support, and time

06:15   Can’t influence kids without spending time with them

06:30   Discipline and boundaries part of raising a healthy child

06:50   “It takes a village” to raise a child, including resources such as time

08:15   Giving wings to kids’ dreams starts with potential

08:45   Coaches in Greater Toronto Hockey League

09:30   The three-legged stool of potential: dreams, belief, and action

10:10   Son P.K. Subban dreamt to play hockey (NFL Nashville Predators)

10:30   Belief vs. doubt requires reinforcing our belief system

11:00   “Designer” parenting (bulldozer, helicopter, or lawnmower) not the answer

11:30   What do kids say about their own motivation and ability to learn and grow?

12:00   Potential – our gift at birth; fulfilling potential – our gift to the world

12:50   Action activates the dream

13:55   Parents’ dreams vs. kids’ dreams (story of middle son Malcolm)

14:10   O.K. to have a dream for a child

14:45   “Clear the way, pave the way, and get out of the way!”

15:50   Malcolm wants to be a goalie, but Karl sees him as a hockey field player

16:40   Now, Malcolm plays goalie for the NHL Las Vegas Knights

17:15   Attributes family success to strong marriage & loving relationship with wife Maria

17:35   Raising five children a key ingredient to the Subbans' marital success

18:55   Karl and Maria agree on a problem but not on an approach

19:35   The “24-Hour Rule”

22:25  Most important life lessons: learning to respond to conflict, handling adversity 

23:40   1 in 1000 boys who register to play hockey goes on to play an NHL game

23:55   How realistic is it to help kids chase dreams when odds are against them?

25:00   One dream leads to another; always keep dreaming

26:10   Subban girls pursue own dreams while helping brothers fulfill theirs

28:30   Children must be good at something in addition to school

29:30   Subban values practices more than games (winning)

29:55   You are what you practice; practice makes you better (in every area)

30:30   Every child needs a balance of pushing and inspiration

31:15   What Subban would do differently (as an educator)

32:05   Seeing children's potential influences how they see themselves

32:15   Ascribes to Carol Dweck’s Mindset approach to growth

32:55   Successful parenting also requires believing in children’s potential

34:15   Subban wants his kids to continually move on with dreams, not just play hockey

34:50   Making it professionally important, but so is "making it in life"

36:10   Recommendation: “Nights Up” (a parenting tip)

BUY How We Did It: The Subban Plan for Success in Hockey, School and Life

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At age 70, Letty Cottin Pogrebin felt fit as a fiddle on the fateful day she walked three miles to her routine mammogram. A founding editor of Ms. (magazine) and women's rights activist, she had energy and to spare until she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Facing six weeks of radiation treatment, she was now obligated to join others in the waiting room of Memorial Sloan-Kettering in New York City. So, putting on her journalist hat, she began interviewing fellow patients. The result? How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who's Sick--an invaluable handbook about "The New Illness Etiquette" for both the sick and their friends.

00:10   Intro to Letty Cottin Pogrebin, book author and founding editor of Ms. (magazine)

01:15   The Flu and cold season begins

01:45   Pogrebin gets a routine mammogram at age 70

02:10   Breast cancer diagnosis comes without warning signs

04:00   Shares news of cancer and radiation with close friends via email

05:00   Searches in vain for a book about sickness and friendship

05:50   Interviews waiting-room patients for How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who’s Sick

06:31   Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center attracts people the world over

07:45   Discovers discrepancies between their the experiences and wishes of sick people

08:15   Unexpectedly learns about caregivers’ needs

09:30   Ripple effect of illness touches families and friends

09:50   Bottom line: people want to be honest—both the sick and their friends

10:40   What a friend should be able to ask a sick friend

11:10   What a sick person should be able to say to a friend

11:55   Truth-telling and "The New Illness Etiquette"

12:30   A friend reacts perfectly to Pogrebin's diagnosis

13:15   Asking “Do you want to talk about it?” gives a sick person control

13:25   Other lines that are both true and helpful

14:30   Sick people don’t want to hear or answer, “How are you?”

15:55   Their responses can overwhelm friends with TMI

16:15   Asking “What’s happening?” gives patient control over how much to disclose

17:30   Nobody wants to be labeled sick (such as “cancer girl”)

18:15   Saying, “You look great!” can give false reassurance and seem disingenuous

18:30   “Empathy translated into action equals kindness”

18:50   “Illness is friendship’s proving ground”

19:15   Guidelines for visiting sick friends – be considerate

20:40   Guidelines for giving gifts to sick friends – pay attention to diagnoses

21:00   Examples of inappropriate gifts and insensitive comments

22:30   Personalize a friend’s illness to the point you know what gifts to give

24:15   Humor and laughter depend entirely on how well you know the patient

24:50   Remembers laughing at Marlo Thomas’s funny jokes

26:00   Disparages fruit baskets and extols massages (and other sensitive gifts)

27:20   Why ice cream scoops adorn the book cover

28:50   Contrasts generous gifts with the gift she really wanted

29:15   Follow up “What would you like?” with “You know I’m bringing something”

30:25   Illustrates differences between sick men and sick women

30:50   25% of men interviewed hadn’t disclosed their illness

31:15   Tells a heartbreaking story of Orthodox Jewish man hiding his cancer diagnosis

33:45   Cultural and gender barriers prevent many men from sharing the truth

34:10   Women tend to feel comfortable confiding in close friends

35:30   The book includes many lists for how to be helpful & honest

36:00   First step: learn what to say to a friend who’s sick (“Do no harm.”)

36:20   Also, learn appropriate things to say to the bereaved

37:10   Recommendation – Ryan Hamilton: Happy Face (on Netflix)

BUY How to Be a Friend to a Friend Who's Sick

Watch the trailer for Ryan Hamilton: Happy Face.

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Special thanks…

• Music Credit
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