Ft. Ian Edwards | Another opening, another poop joke, make sure to self-reflect before posting, recommendations on navigating dental scams and dams, field trips and stripper poles-welcome to public school, Ian owns a racist with a crappy car.

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Ft. Kiran Deol | Vengeful crows, rowdy roosters, buckets of bird smuggled from a locked-down KFC, and a suspect wearing an inflatable swan--this bird sh*t cray! Kiran tells two tales of a busted prostitution ring & a very thorough arsonist.

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Ft. Paul Elia | A woman finds poop next to pizza rolls in the freezer section; Chinedu waxes poetic on peppermint & sweet, sweet matcha; goats get busy in a car in Queens; don’t let the wheelchair fool you! Paul’s bullies will slap him for any reason.  

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Ft. Will Miles | Happening in these streets this week: an Atlanta woman finds a one-eared mouse grubbin’ on her weed; a bunch of G.O.A.T.s herd goats in Colorado; Will definitely wouldn’t murk a bear, but a gang bangin racoon? Oh, it’s on!

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Ft. Chase Anthony | Dry nuggets lead to a bomb threat in Iowa; an adult booty is stuck in a child’s swing in the West Village; newlyweds invoice their wedding no-shows; Chase’s neighbors get out of hand with either flour or cocaine. Hard to say…

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Ft. Justin Martindale | Panty lines are getting to Chinedu; Jehovah’s Witnesses may be sliding in the DMs soon; police intervene in a hardware store exorcism; there’s an elephant in the room between Justin & the pastor’s wife.

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Ft. Kennelia Stradwick | Today, a mime wakes up and chooses violence; zebras are wild ‘n out in the DC suburbs; Hampton U represent! Kennelia has unresolved issues with her Karen-ish former roommate over a big booty tv and cable bill.

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Ft. Whitney Cummings | Chinedu’ll go above & beyond to return a lost sandwich--unless it’s a chicken caesar wrap; a love bird might’ve been saving up for a visit to a podiatrist, and the neighbor, really, really, shouldn’t have cut Whitney’s trees!

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Ft. Megan Gailey | Cows roll through a burger joint in Iowa; Candice knows which pro wrestlers didn’t rob a pharmacy; a jar of weed gifted to Megan may’ve been a trojan horse; a dead-eyed Karen calls the cops...over nacho fries...

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Ft. Bresha Webb | A TMI ask about STIs; cops running on CP time; a dish-licker makes Candice wonder why there isn’t more roommate on roommate violence; girl interrupted--a special delivery in real time during storytime with Bresha.

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