Unicorns: real, fake, or simply a metaphor for Christ? Join us this week on Not for Children as we watch the glittery new film "Wish Upon a Unicorn" and discuss the curse of eternal life, sketchy arms of production companies, and taking the leap to full orphan.

Remember: we watch children's films so you don't have to. You could watch the movie and witness the pure, uncut magic of a baby unicorn turn a villain young and then develop a chode horn, but maybe you should leave this to the professionals.

Ever wondered how Queen Victoria with katanas would make you feel as you ponder the moral weight of selling your family member for a boat load of gold? Then look no further than this week's episode of Not for Children as we soak up the salty 2012 tale of "The Pirates: Band of Misfits."

As always we have sacrificed our time to watch the movie so you don't have to. Dive in to a discussion on monkey butlers, surprisingly curvaceous pirates, and understanding why it's important to quit before you're ahead.

Look we know some of you don't have children, and that's ok. But we're here to talk to you about the movies we watch with our kid, and how we don't get that time back after they're over.

Join us this week on our 1:30am deep dive "Deep," or, a story about the shittiest octopus grandson you've ever met, shrimp ass, remembering Samurai Jack wrong, and teamwork in the face of adversity.

Not for Children: a film review, gameshow, parenting podcast.