Not Like This

Recording in farcical circumstances, Richie, Muzz and T-Bone recap a desperate round of football, critiquing the Suns' franchise-salvaging victory over the Cats (2:00), the Dogs' Bont-inspired win over the Lions (8:10), Collingwood's Malthouse-like strangulation of Richmond (18:16), the top-of-the-pops Saints' celebration of 150 (mediocre) years (25:45), the Showdown Medal disgrace (35:25), the GWS-Carlton umpiring disgrace (41:37), a rare day out for the Hawks in Tassie (45:17) and Melbourne's 'ghost stadium' smackdown of the Sydney Swans (46:25).

Richie, Muzz and T-Bone go guerrilla radio style as they wax on the round two action, debriefing with an angry Subway Suns franchise manager after their capitulation against the Bombers (1:15), re-living the Blues' narrow win over the soulless Cats (8:28), Brisbane's lights out performance against the Dees (15:43), Collingwood's day of football perfection against 'Teflon' Kenny's Power (22:02), another Ross the Boss masterclass against the Dogs (32:28), the controversial finish to Clarko's heist out west (41:37) and Richmond's scare against the Crows (49:12).

Drunk on euphoria, Richie, Muzz and T-Bone get stuck into their round one recap, riffing on the Ross the Boss Cup (1:04), the dour struggle between Richmond and Carlton on opening night (9:22), the Flagpies' victory over the 'fat and giggly' Cats (16:58), Clarko's winning start at the Kangas (29:00), Gawn and Grundy's first date against Bevo's Bulldogs (33:25) and, most importantly, 'Teflon' Kenny's new energy drink of choice (41:29). And tune in for the unveiling of Richie's newest 'watch'.

On the eve of the 2023 AFL season, Rich, Muzz and T-Bone engage in their annual tradition of putting their predictions on wax, factoring in nuisance variants, lucky ladder positions, hate-filled coaches, a deep-seated fear of Carlton and their own self-loathing desire to stick to the golden rules of ladder predictions. Footy Classified meets a Hunter Thompson novel!

Rich, Muzz and T-Bone wrap up their preview series by discussing Sydneys Sistine Chapel-esque floor to ceiling ratio (1:00), The West Coast Eagles rugged youngsters and their world-weary coach (14:30), and have the Doggies fixed their structual issues and are now ready to contend, or is it another season of fools gold? (23:40)

Rich, Muzz and the Bone sink their chompers into three of their favourite football teams: Port Adelaide (0:46), Richmond (13:18) and the reinvigorated Saints (26:27). Can 'Teflon' Kenny lead the Power on a tour of revenge after a wasted 2022? Will the Tigers' gun recruits help them rage against that dying light? And, with Ross the Boss home finally, are St Kilda destined to depart the middle of the road...for better or worse?

Richie, Muzz and T-Bone preview the seasons of the Giants (0:52), Hawks (10:20), Demons (19:32) and the Kangas (31:26). The boys survey the prospects of the rebuilding Giants, Hawks and Roos, and what lies ahead for the already sturdily built Dees. Also, the Champion Data War takes a dark turn, as the ranking of Melbourne players finally tips one panellist over the edge...

Richie, Muzz and T-Bone preview the seasons of Essendon (0:43), Fremantle (12:20), Geelong (20:27) and the Gold Coast Suns (31:40), while waging on all-out war on Champion Data's 'elite' player rankings. Will the absurdity finally end at Bomberland? Will Freo's evil genius coach destroy the competition? Are there post-premiership delusions at the Cattery? Is it really finals or bust for the Suns? And stay tuned for a monumentally stupid on-air bet from Subway Suns' franchise manager, Richie Buckets.

JT and Richie Buckets begin the annual team previews with a look at Adelaide and the high levels of moxy in their squad (1:00), the crazy midfield depth at Brisbane and if they're ready to walk through the Gates (9:30), is this the year they break through for finals or do things get so bad at Carlton that Voss leads a Fevolution?! (17:10), and is there any magical fairy dust left over at Collingwood or is the dream over? (25:45)

Rich, Muzz and the Bone get the band back together to unveil T-Bone's 2023 Happiness Ladder, and in doing so, offer a unique thesis on happiness itself. Is it Groundhog Day for the Geelong Retirement Community? Will the Bombers be 3rd again this year? How low have 'Teflon' Kenny and the Power plunged? And can the appointment of Ross the Boss drag the Saints off the bottom of the (deeply flawed) ladder?