NothingOfSubstance

We’re talking interesting snack choices in the grocery store, pot roasts, a local woman’s website and billboard advertisement for men to marry her, talent show mishaps, and the beginning tales of the nameless and crazy woman who haunted me for years.

We’re talking Spirit Halloween stores, AI robots playing ping pong champion and solving Rubik’s Cube puzzles, highschool basketball, getting a diet rootbeer dumped on my head by a lady in a walker who had her drunk boyfriend try and fight me at a Taqueria, bowling league mishaps etc.

We’re talking humid weather, f**** up haircuts, ugly men in charge of s***, getting drafted by The Oakland Raiders, robots attacking handicapped people, pepper spray turning a self proclaimed gang member into a complete p****, Giants baseball season RIP, and Tylenol.

We’re talking about raising your kids to not grow up a**holes, Brett James plane crash (R.I.P.), how long you have to wait until you apply for a dead guy’s job and whether you can put them down as a reference or not, avoiding people you don’t want to see in public, faking phone calls, celebrity run ins, and why you shouldn’t try on hats in public.

(THE AUDIO ON THIS ONE WAS NOT AWESOME. SORRY!)

We’re talking September birthdays, stupid people who mane up their own theories, pumpkin spice latte runs, people blowing up restrooms and getting you blamed, people with main character syndrome on social media, real vs. crazy family, the Benihana Brawl in Torrance CA, and horny old ladies.

We’re talking Costco parking lots on the weekend, oblivious cashiers with band tattoos embarrassing themselves, why you should respect gas station trash cans, chiropractic sex apparatuses in India, irresponsible dads with fireworks, and why you shouldn’t have pet monkeys.

Just want to take a moment to introduce myself, welcome all the new folks, thank you all and give an idea of why I created this stupid little show. Thank you.

We’re talking football players in college classes, dudes who walk their dogs off leash dressed like a tactical commandos, creepy middle aged men leaving comments on young women’s pictures, secretly petting a blind woman’s service dog, getting crop dusted by an evil child in a store, and farting on a 4th grade field trip in front of my teacher.

We’re talking NFL Sunday week one and the Niners/Raiders fanbases, kids with silver teeth, making smash burgers, more fucking hiccups, gym teachers walking around nude, and the woman in Philly who stole a baseball from a child on his birthday and ended up a villain.

We’re talking Shoe Palace employees, boujee shoe stores where everything is wrapped in plastic, old people tossing things out on the highway, pulling the chair from underneath my mom at dinner, older people saying embarrassing things, and a Chihuahua with a shockingly giant penis.