Now That's Smut I'm Talking About

It's time for Dealer's Choice again, and we're sucking on chocolate eggs and asking the age old question, 'If a pair of pants wore pants, how would they wear the pants?' First, Don dresses down with My Date with a Pair of Gray Sweatpants by Dakota Cockaday as Cassi O. Peia. Then, Taylor wishes for a bit of sugar with Bethanie Loren's, Eggcellent.

All aboard, and buckle up! This week we're talking "planes, trains, and automobiles" and we've got two books HOT off the presses! Taylor gets the engine steaming with Railed: A Why Cho-Cho-Choose Romance by Zane E. Stori. Then Don takes the scenic route to boner town with Brake Me, by Athena Bliss and Marluxia Bliss.

Looks like you're looking for the worst rated smut ever, can we assist you with that? We've wandered into "1 star, would not recommend" territory! Don gets the totally chill and normal party going with Giselle Renarde's, Rainbow Night. Then Taylor takes to the chopter and considers the plot importance of jiggle physics in Leonard Delaney's, Conquered by Clippy.

Prepare for the robo-pocalypse and don't forget what your toaster is made of, because this week Taylor and Don are finding horny objects "Around the House." Taylor starts off by demonstrating some unusual new cleaning methods with H.G. Vacuus', Ravished by Roomba. Then Don gets hot under the crust and yells for a while at P.P. Stroker's, Toast Me Gently.

Hop onboard! It's Dealer's Choice again and we're tooting out some cocaine jazz on our way down this yeasty river. First, Don learns to give back with Thea Masen's, Stiff: An Inanimate Object Shifter Romance. Then Taylor plays a little ditty with Nora Noodle's, French Horny: An Erotic Sentient Instrument Romance.

Got Milk? We sure do this week! First, Taylor takes on alternative employment with Jocelyn Sinrose's, Private Hucow: Filled and Fertile. Then Don gets surprisingly cozy with 24 ounces of C.M. Nascosta's, Morning Glory Milking Farm.

We've landed in the XXX files, because this week we're hunting for horny cryptids! First, Don sends chills all up and down ya with two selections from author, Sibley Stamps: Naked with the Fresno Nightcrawlers, and Used by the Hatman. Then Taylor takes flight with a pair of cutie patooties in Elaine J. Daniels', Mesmerized by the Moth Woman.

We return once again to the fuzzy bosom of "Dealer's Choice"! And this time, we doubled up! First, Taylor shoots us into the pool with Holly Wilde's, SPF Me. Then Don gives a fire safety seminar with Holly Wilde's, Laid by the Lint Trap Monster. Completing the Holly Wilde hat trick, Taylor boils up trouble with, The Deviled Egg Made Me Do it. Then Don ties it all to the ceiling with Fanny Tucker's, I Fucked the Puppet.

Omega-oh-me-oh-my! There's fur exploding in all directions and everyone's pregnant! Today we take a mildly informed trip into the Omegaverse! After a quick informative quiz, Don locks us in their basement and takes a bite of Colbie Dunbar's, Mated to the Mob. Then Taylor shows us a radical mind movie with L.C. Davis's, Bro and the Beast.

In this "Cold as Ice" episode, we're trapped in a sauna and deeply worried about the risotto. First, Taylor considers the anatomy of a jug in Vera Valentine's, Cold Sweat. Then Don gets a head wound and disappoints HR in Cleo White's, Chilled and Thrilled.