Number Two Podcast

Number Two Cuz starts the show off with another warning that construction is still going on in the house, and that there will be lots of noise in the background. Big Luis made lots of noise in the background at […]

* Number Two Cuz starts the show off with another warning that construction is still going on in the house, and that there will be lots of noise in the background.

* Big Luis made lots of noise in the background at the top of the show, and Tello and Number Two Cuz think it might be passive aggressive behavior.

* Tello has been obsessed with chiropractor videos.

* Tello tries to reset his deviated septum that got worse from all the times he got punched in the face.

* Lourdes and Tello discuss the real episode where Wile E. Coyote caught the Roadrunner.

* Fave Cuz Phoebe has an obsession with earwax cleanings. Lourdes is disgusted by them, but tell can see the satisfaction of watching them.

* Lourdes also talked about her sister’s obsession with scabs and smelling gross things.

* Tello stops the show because “The Yard Man” is making lots of noise outside.

* Lourdes is called to her daughter’s school because she is being threatened with suspension for having a pizza delivered to her classroom.

* Pila joins the show to give a first hand experience of the Pizza incident.

* It’s been difficult for Pila to share one restroom with the rest of the family.

* Pila is annoyed that her brother doesn’t put the toilet seat down after using the restroom, but Tello explains that men constantly have to deal with the seat to make sure it’s up or down depending on peeing or pooping. 

* Lourdes got some reassurance from her Fave Sister Phoebe that she hasn’t had any strokes in her childhood.

* Number Two Cuz had a little too much “Vegas Lemonade” even though she has publicly warned of the dangers of drinking too much.

* Lourdes missed out on a show because she was so inebriated in Vegas. 

* Number Two Cuz was surprised at the notorious elements in Vegas.

* Lourdes wasn’t comfortable taking photos of the Vegas dancers, but her brother-in-law had no problem filming them until his wife put a stop to it.

* Lourdes didn’t take photos or video like she said she would.

* Number Two Cuz didn’t go broke gambling, so she counts that as a win.

* Lourdes visited a bar that was poker in the front and liquor in the rear.

* Tello is grossed out by hotel rooms.

* Number Two Cuz has a lot of weird rules about behavior, hygiene, and cleanliness. 

* Tello is germphobic and doesn’t like to eat from bowls of chips.

* Lourdes doesn’t like heavy breathers.

* Number Two Cuz is using charcoal toothpaste that turns her teeth black.

* Lourdes doesn’t like dealing with her mustache.

* Tello has a health update on his current weight loss.

* Lourdes had a frog in her throat that interrupts the show.

* Tello is almost halfway to his weight loss goal for the year.

* Tello misses hamburger buns the most on his Ketogenic diet.

* Lourdes and Tello don’t like the smell of cauliflower, but Tello has had to eat more of it since he’s been on his new diet.

* Lourdes suggest squashes as a pasta replacement.

* Number Two Cuz thinks Tello is starving himself when he intermittently fasts.

* Tello makes inappropriate jokes about stretch videos.

* Lourdes still doesn’t have any lyrics to the outgoing theme song.

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* Number Two Cuz is still having construction done on her house, so she warns that we may hear some background noise AGAIN.

* Lourdes talks about an online speech class that requires her to upload videos for assignments. Her assignment requires no background noise, but just like the podcast, she has to warn the class that there will be background construction noise.

* Number Two Cuz had to use logos to describe herself for homework, and there’s one surprising logo she’ll be using for her hobbies.

* Tello and Lourdes talk about the boiled egg smell from a local refinery near Lourdes’ college campus.

* Number Two Cuz brings the show down with her depressing story of alcohol awareness. It’s an important message for all young people to hear.

* Tello wants to know why Lourdes’ eyes look so dark.

* Tello professes his love for Guillermo Del Toro and his latest film “The Shape of Water.”

* Tello is so in awe of Guillermo Del Toro’s talent that he feels discouraged in his own abilities because he knows he will never be as good as GDT.

* Lourdes and Tello talk about whether the Coyote ever caught The Road Runner in the old Looney Tunes cartoons.

* Number Two Cuz had some family stay overnight, and it might have been more of an inconvenience than Lourdes expected.

* Lourdes’ daughter interrupts the show to brush her teeth.

* Andrea, her husband, and their children stayed the night at Lourdes’ house after Andrea imbibed some cleansing tea.

* Number Two Cuz rushes her husband through his shower because her sister Andrea had to poop really badly.

* Lourdes, Andrea, and their husbands are taking a trip to Las Vegas to celebrate Andrea’s 40th birthday.

* Fave Cuz Phoebe is going to Vegas, and she’s going to be the tour guide. Phoebe likes taking people to Vegas for their first time because it makes her feel like it’s her first time too.

* Number Two Cuz and Tello talk briefly about Madonna’s “Like A Virgin.”

* Tello and Lourdes take an impromptu nostalgic trip back to the 80s and talk about Trapper Keepers.

* The show is interrupted by Lourdes’ son and her oldest daughter.

* Tello confesses to having a picture of Alyssa Milano taped to the inside of his Trapper Keeper.

* Tello encourages Lourdes to get a Trapper Keeper for her college classes.

* Pila interrupts the podcast again, but she learns what a Trapper Keeper is.

* Pila teaches the show a new slang word – Shook.

* Tello and Lourdes talk about slang words from their youth that her kids don’t know about.

* The show continues to be interrupted as there is currently only one working restroom in Lourdes’ house since the other one is being worked on.

* Little Luis makes a short visit.

* Lourdes plans to check out a couple of shows in Vegas so she doesn’t spend too much on gambling.

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* Number Two Cuz accidentally brushed her teeth with someone else’s toothbrush

* Tello talks about how very old he was for his first dentist appointment, and how that affected his teeth cleaning habits.

* Tello announces that there is a video portion for Number Two Podcast available at: https://www.youtube.com/campfyre

* Tello’s brother, Tony, gave Lourdes a hard time for her greying hair, and it troubled Lourdes.

* Lourdes tells Tello that his niece is going by a new, random name.

* Tello talks about how his grey hair has affected him.

* Lourdes laments that she looked like a little boy when she was younger.

* Number Two Cuz points out Tello’s thinning hair.

* Lourdes had to read “Baywolf” (Beowulf) for class, but she misunderstood the assignment.

* Tello visited some friends from high school because his friend’s oldest child is joining the US Army. While he was there, Tello allowed himself to cheat on his diet, and boy did he cheat!

* Tello is looking forward to his 40s, but Lourdes doesn’t seem as enthusiastic.

* Tello might have eaten 20 cookies when he visited his friends, and an uncountable number of egg rolls.

* Tello recalls a story of when he had dinner with his friends when they were teenagers, and how many egg rolls he ate when he was first introduced to them.

* Tello gained weight from his visit, but he weighed himself to see how much weight he lost after making a twozy.

* On his way home, Tello got a speeding ticket in a small Texas town.

* Number Two Cuz shares some safety tips about the flu.

* Tello compares the flu symptoms with dance fever.

* Lourdes mentions her “dear mother,” but Tello goes off on a tangent about Lourdes’ mother who is a deer.

* Number Two Cuz brings the show down by telling the story of a young man who died from the flu.

* Lourdes convinces her gullible son that the local oil refineries will cause the town to turn into zombies.

* Lourdes had to take selfies of herself, and she noticed that her mouth looks crooked. Her mom thinks it might be related to an ailment she had when she was a child.

* Number Two Cuz goes shopping with her mom.

* Lourdes saved money shopping, but she was still embarrassed by the amount of items she purchased.

* Number Two Cuz has a problem passing up on certain deals.

* Lourdes doesn’t like scary stories because it reminds her of scary childhood memories

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* Did Number Two Cuz blow her nose into a sock?

* Lourdes skipped out on church this morning.

* Tello laments never meeting a quality woman at church because they were always married with children.

* Lourdes remembers going to church after partying all night with her mom and sisters.

* Number Two Cuz may have been a little paranoid as she and her sisters’ (The Monkeys) reputations preceded them in social situations.

* Lourdes and Tello have excuses for not working out regularly.

* Number Two Cuz tries to convince Tello to buy second hand workout equipment.

* Tello has had some success with his Ketogenic diet.

* Has Number Two Cuz been drinking parasytes again?

* We’re getting old because Lourdes’ nephew is old enough to host the family at his house with his family.

* Lourdes thought her sister got shot on New Year’s Eve, but it was way less deadly and way more funny.

* Tello recalls the time he photoshopped his cousin Andrea to look bald, and her unhappy response.

* Number Two Cuz has to take a break to take a number two.

* Lourdes is trying a new detox. This reminds Tello of the time Lourdes tried drinking parasytes.

* Lourdes and Tello take a quiz to let people get to know them better.

* Number Two Cuz wonders if Texas Chainsaw Massacre really happened.

* Tello informs Lourdes that “furtherest” is not a word.

* Tello has fond memories of a road trip to Georgia that resulted in delicious Zunzi’s sandwiches.

* Lourdes is afraid that people will think that one of her hobbies is stupid.

* Tello was afraid he was going to be attacked by blackbirds in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

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* It’s a new year, but Number Two Cuz still hasn’t written any lyrics for the opening theme song.

* Lourdes and Tello got to spend some family time together over the Christmas break.

* Number Two Cuz hosted some Reindeer Games for the family over Christmas.

* Lourdes brought the family closer with an inflatable Reindeer ring toss game, a cakewalk, and lots of prizes.

* Tello and Lourdes exchanged gifts even though they agreed not to. Guess who got the better gift.

* A train interrupts the show.

* Lourdes talks about the cash and prizes she had for all the games they played.

* Tello tries to shame Number Two Cuz for not taking photos for videos during the games, but Lourdes explains how bad she is at photography and videography.

* Lourdes tells a story of how she tried to video a police chase and helicopter, but all she got was the sky.

* Tello defends burping into the microphone.

* Tello talks about how the family gift giving tradition has changed – emphasis on changing tradition.

* Tello was trying to push for an earlier gift exchange, but he got some pushback from his Fave Cuz Phoebe.

* Somehow, the gift exchange happened before the midnight tradition.

* Tello was thankful for being able to buy gift cards for all the small children in the family.

* Lourdes talks about the difference between giving gifts when she was a young woman compared to her daughters giving gifts now that they are young women.

* Tello talks about the depressing gifts he got for his mom.

* The best gift was saved for last. Tello got his brother a piece of his childhood, and it was a huge hit.

* Lourdes reflects on her commitment to the show for 2017, and compares it to past instances.

* Tello and Lourdes talk about their goals for the new year.

* Tello wants to lose 50 pounds.

* Lourdes is going to help Tello grow the podcast in the coming year, but only because Tello is going to force her.

* Number Two Cuz wants to lose weight and cut out some sugary snacks.

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* Number One Fave Cuz had some favorable things to say about the show.

* Number Two Cuz went on an adventure to buy some cheap furniture, but she may have found more than what she bargained for. Lourdes felt lied to after seeing the furniture in person, but more importantly, she felt embarrassed in front of her husband Luis.

* Lourdes and Tello discuss low balance notifications from the bank.

* Tello complains how Christmas is still so expensive even though he doesn’t buy gifts for the entire family.

* Lourdes is hopeful that games will help bring the family closer during the holidays.

* Tello thinks his estrogen might be too high because he’s been very emotional for a while.

* Tello reads some tweets from the co-director of Coco

* Tello gives his review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and it might come as a surprise to some people.

* Lourdes and Tello discuss Christmas with the Kranks. Tello just couldn’t get into it, but Lourdes still ranks it as one of her favorites.

* Number Two Cuz asked her husband Luis to write a Christmas list to Santa. What he asks for was a surprise to Lourdes and Tello. Lourdes dug a little deeper into Luis’ Christmas past and discovered some sad memories.

* Lourdes feels that Luis might be living vicariously through his children when it comes to making new Christmas memories.

* Tello confresses that not being able to give Christmas gifts makes Christmas less enjoyable for him.

* Number Two Cuz talks about how expensive it is to buy gifts for the family.

* Tello professes his love for Apple products, but Number Two feels caged in by the same products.

* Tello has some Christmas trivia for Number Two Cuz in hopes of making her look foolish, stupid, or dumb. She’s not foolish, stupid, or dumb, but putting that kind of pressure on Lourdes makes Tello laugh.

* Lourdes’ niece stops by to say Merry Christmas.

* Number Two Cuz has a hard time naming Santa’s Reindeer

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* Tello laments his inability to sing or play guitar.

* Number Two Cuz had a work retreat where she does some recollection.

* Lourdes ran into one of Tello’s nemeses while Christmas shopping. This stirs up some old painful memories for Tello that he’d like to bring closure to by fighting this nemesis.

* Lourdes ordered the butt underwear (rather shapewear), but did it get destroyed by the neighbor’s dog?

* Lourdes gets interrupted while recording – AGAIN – because she refuses to use the recording light that Tello made for her.

* Number Two Cuz made some progress watching The Fantastic Mr. Fox

* Tello got to hang out with his niece last weekend.

* Tello gives a heartfelt review of Pixar’s Coco. 

* Number Two Cuz and Tello discuss the importance of positive representation of Mexicans in American movies.

* TEXAS GOT SNOW!!!

* Tello talks about how underwhelming the snow was when it first started, but by the end of the night it was really snowing.

* Lourdes talks about how she woke up her entire family in the early morning so she and her children could enjoy the first (and probably only) snow of the Texas winter.

* Lourdes doesn’t really like the Mexican 7 that her husband drew on her car.

* Tello gets sidetracked thinking of a fake movie called “Mexican 7”

* Little Luis builds a snowman, but Lourdes thinks it looks like something more anatomical.

* Lourdes and Tello are both hoping for a white Christmas.

* Lourdes reflects on how the beauty of the snow made her feel about the current state of political and social tensions.

* Lourdes and Tello discuss their Top 5 Christmas movies/shows. Tello might have a little more than five, and Lourdes might have fewer than five.

* Tello recalls the horrible story told in Gremlins about a missing father who was actually stuck in a chimney.

* Tello remembers when Lourdes’ mom yelled at her for messing up the recording of Mickey’s Christmas Carol.

* Tello never shot his eye out with a BB gun, but he did accidentally shoot something else.

* Lourdes shares a sad story of her nephew building a snowman for our departed aunt Gloria.

* Lourdes cheats and adds more movies to her top 5 list.

* Number Two Cuz reads this year’s letters to Santa from two of her kids. One asks for financial security, and another asks for lots of Dallas Cowboys gear.

* Lourdes and her sister Lupe both have birthdays that are about a week apart. Lourdes remembers Lupe getting the birthday gifts she wanted when they were young.

* Tello praises their parents for always providing a good Christmas for them as children.

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* Tello recounts the not so happy time when he realized that Number Two Cuz was his best friend.

* Lourdes is concerned that she may be hormonal

* The podcast caused some controversy during Thanksgiving dinner when Fave Cuz Phoebe was offended for being called selfish in a previous episode.

* Lourdes is recording in her daughter’s room to cut down on interruptions, and she finds a couple of interesting items. Tello thinks Lourdes is invading her daughter’s privacy.

* Lourdes is embarrassed by a certain part of her body, and it leads her to investigate some non-surgical solutions to the problem.

* Lourdes and Tello talk about the success of the Thanksgiving Cakewalk and how it became a family project for Lourdes.

* Lourdes’ mom was late for Thanksgiving, and no one ate her cooking.

* Lourdes’ daughter cooked a couple of dishes for Thanksgiving dinner.

* We attended another family gathering a couple of days after the holiday.

* Kids have it way easier with piñatas than we did, and they have no killer instinct when it comes to grabbing the candy.

* Tello wants to know how Number Two Cuz keeps Santa Claus real when there are haters who tell her kids that he isn’t real.

* Lourdes recalls the cute letters to Santa that her kids would write.

* Lourdes’ sister Andrea interrupts the show and sits in for a bit.

* Andrea tells us how she dealt with Santa haters trying to ruin it for her children.

* Tello asks Andrea how she dealt with situations when Santa couldn’t afford to bring her kids everything they asked for.

* Andrea also tells us the morbid way she would like to deal with her bad kids around Christmas time.

* Lourdes bought a ring toss game for Christmas fun and family feuding.

* Lourdes and Tello talk about some of the Christmas gift planning they’ve done.

* Tello is planning to take his niece to see Pixar’s Coco.

* Number Two Podcast was recommended by Podcasterio as one of the Latin podcasts to check out. #SupportBrownPodcasts

* Lourdes thought the show was all about Tello today, so Tello gave Number Two Cuz the opportunity to talk about shaving her hairy toes.

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* Number Two Cuz compliments Tello on the opening song.

* Lourdes thinks she knows someone who looks like someone famous.

* We remind everyone who put the Number Two in the Number Two Podcast.

* Lourdes receives a phone call from her son’s school because of an altercation. Blows were exchanged, glasses were broken, and Lourdes is afraid that this will be on his permanent record.

* Tello finds it hard to be objective about the fight because he’s been wanting to hit people lately.

* Lourdes and Tello explore Tello’s violent feelings, and ultimately wonder if it’s just a matter of pride.

* Number Two talks about taking care of her mother and assisting her in the restroom after she had a minor surgical procedure done. Lourdes recalls the last time she had to help her mom use the restroom after she had a cancerous tumor removed.

* Lourdes and Tello decide they need to lead healthier lives, and plan to update each other every week.

* Facebook news – Dumb questions:

* Is Disney’s Aladdin a bad influence? 

* Why do surgeons wash their hands?

* Proper condom usage…

* How to use a credit card for Internet payments.

* Pregnancy clues.

* Dinosaur and unicorn sightings

* Civil War is causing too much homework…

* Dumb elevators…

* We talk a little bit about Thanksgiving plans.

* Number Two still hasn’t watched The Fantastic Mr. Fox.

* We got a such a great response from Halloween Password that we decided to beat it into the ground with a game of Thanksgiving Password!

* Number Two Cuz tried to be serious on an history test, but she still answers kind of funny.

* Tello once won a free Thanksgiving turkey for filling out a survey at an apartment where he used to live. Tello made a Thanksgiving dinner with the help of a turkey hotline, and Number Two Cuz feels sad for him.

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