Off the Fence with Karen Covy: Mastering Decision Making, Divorce & More

When life throws you into chaos - whether it's a divorce, a fractured family relationship, or a crossroads moment - the advice you get next can either save you or sink you. This compilation brings together the most powerful insights from the best of over 50 episodes about divorce, relationships, finance, psychology, and wellness. The professionals in this episode distill years of wisdom into practical strategies that actually work when your life is falling apart. From narcissistic abuse survivors to financial planners, therapists to health experts, these are the voices who've helped thousands navigate their darkest moments and come out stronger on the other side.

In this "Best of Off the Fence 2025" episode, you'll discover how adult children can be systematically isolated by narcissistic partners, the surprising way to flip out of "victim mode" by asking one simple question, and the Social Security mistakes that could cost you thousands. You'll also get practical guidance on building self-care routines that go beyond bubble baths and how to turn post-divorce dating into the foundation for a solid, fulfilling long-term relationship. Whether you're navigating family conflict, making financial decisions, trying to heal and rebuild after divorce, or you're looking to start over romantically, this collection offers the hard-won wisdom that only comes from experts who've guided countless others through these exact challenges.

Episode 113: Narcissistic Alienation of Adult Children:  When Love Turns to Loss

Tracy Malone is an International divorce coach, narcissist abuse survival coach, author, speaker, educator, victim, and surTHRIVER of narcissistic abuse. Visit Tracy’s website Narcissist Abuse Support. 

Episode 117: Trapped in Victim Mode? How to Flip Your Drama Triangle

Dr.  Carrie Johansson is a psychologist turned speaker and author. Fondly known as The Sensible Psychologist. Visit her website at Self Help On The Go. 

Episode 155:  Social Security Mistakes That Cost Your Thousands

Eric Blake is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® helping women 55+ navigate retirement with clarity and confidence. Visit Eric’s website at Blake Wealth Management.

Episode 137:  Real Self-Care That Works When Your Life is Falling Apart

Jennifer Gilman, is a National Board-Certified Health & Wellness Coach and the visionary force behind New Way Health Coach. Visit Jennifer’s website at New Way Health Coach.

Episode 141:  Navigating Post-Divorce Dating with Love Expert Laurie Gerber

Laurie Gerber is one of the most engaging and effective life coaches and presenters in the country. Visit her website at Laurie Gerber.  

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

Holidays can feel like a punch in the stomach when you’re going through a divorce.  But divorce expert Jackie Pilossoph, the creator and CEO of Divorced Girl Smiling, has the perfect set of practical tips that will help you bring back some holiday joy, in spite of your divorce.

In this podcast episode, Jackie shares deeply relatable stories and actionable tips for surviving the holidays, even if you’re feeling sad, alone, or overwhelmed. Jackie opens up about her own experience of spending her first Christmas without her kids, offering insights on how to honor your emotions while finding ways to reclaim joy during these tough times.

If you’re alone today – or on any major holiday – Jackie’s creative and practical ideas will help you feel better right now, even if you didn’t plan ahead. You’ll discover how taking even small steps can shift your mindset and improve your mood, even when you think that’s impossible. You'll also learn how you can celebrate a whole new you in the new year!

Don’t struggle through the holiday season! Take a break. Listen to this episode. You’ll feel better.

[NOTE: This episode originally ran as Episode 101, but it was so good, we just had to bring it back to spread more holiday cheer this year!]

About Jackie

Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-in-chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, a media company comprised of a website, podcast, mobile app and professional resources. Jackie holds a Masters degree in Broadcast Journalism and is a former television news reporter and features reporter and writer for the Chicago Tribune.

Where to Connect with Jackie
You can connect with Jackie on Facebook at Divorced Girl Smiling or in her Facebook Group, The Divorced Girl Smiling Group. She is on LinkedIn as Divorced Girl Smiling. You can also find her on her website  at DivorcedGirlSmiling.com.

The DGS Club is no longer being offered. But new resources are always being added to the Divorced Girl Smiling website. Please check out the website today and discover how Divorced Girl Smiling can support your divorce journey.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

What if the biggest financial mistake you'll ever make isn't choosing the wrong investment … it's avoiding having the investment conversation altogether? Elke Rubach left traditional law practice to create a wealth advisory firm built on a radical idea: that financial planning fails when it ignores the human beings behind the numbers. Her approach emerged from the personal tragedy her family experienced when her father's death revealed how financially unprepared her family really was.

At the heart of Elke’s approach is a simple but uncomfortable truth: avoiding money conversations is still a decision. Financial lives, like homes, require regular maintenance. Wills, insurance, taxes, investments, and goals can’t run properly on autopilot. And when a crisis happens (divorce, illness, or death), your resilience increases when you’re prepared. 

Whether you're contemplating staying in a marriage or leaving, financial clarity reveals the real "price of freedom."  Wealth decreases when you prolong a conflict. But it increases when you’re informed and clear about your financial reality and willing to make decisions based on that knowledge.

If you’re ready to replace anxiety with agency - whether you’re partnered, single, or rebuilding - this conversation gives you a blueprint to start.

About Elke

Elke M. Rubach is the Founder and Principal of Rubach Wealth Holistic Family Advisors™, a Toronto-based firm helping successful families achieve clarity, control, and confidence in their financial lives. A former lawyer, Elke brings a sharp legal mind and a deep sense of empathy to her work, integrating wealth planning, tax strategy, and legacy design through a human lens. She is the host of the Get Your House in Order podcast, where she explores money, leadership, and purpose with thought leaders and change-makers. Passionate about giving back, Elke is also a dedicated philanthropist, co-chairing Fashion Heals for SickKids and championing causes that build stronger, more intentional communities.

Connect with Elke

You can connect with Elke on LinkedIn at Elke E Rubach and follow Elke on Instagram at Elke Rubach, Rubach Wealth and X at Rubach Wealth.  For more information on working with Elke, visit her website at Rubach Wealth.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

Stuck in a slow, expensive divorce that seems to feed on confusion? Karen Arndt, CEO and co-founder of “What Would a Judge Say”, has created a groundbreaking service that's turning the traditional divorce process on its head. After watching countless couples drain their savings fighting over finances while navigating an opaque system that takes months or years to complete, Karen asked a radical question: What if you could skip straight to a judge's opinion before spending years in litigation? Then she and her ex-husband created a company that does exactly that. 

“Whatwouldajudgesay.com” is a UK company that connects divorcing couples with real family court judges who provide opinions on asset division for a fixed fee … and they do it in just three months.

The service works by having couples submit their financial disclosures to judges who review the information and deliver a professional opinion on how the assets should be divided, exactly as if the case had gone to court. What makes the judge’s opinion particularly powerful is that it gives couples clear parameters for how they should settle their divorce based on actual legal standards, not emotions or wishful thinking.

While this service is currently available only in England and Wales, Karen is exploring expansion to the United States as well as other Commonwealth countries. 

Whether you're a couple seeking clarity together or someone investigating options independently, this innovative approach offers something the traditional system rarely provides: certainty, affordability, and control over your own future.

About Karen

Karen Arndt is the Co-Founder and CEO of whatwouldajudgesay.com, a UK-based legal-tech startup transforming divorce settlements through judge-led clarity and AI innovation. Having lived and worked across London, Amsterdam, New York, Tokyo, Düsseldorf, Berlin, and Atlanta, she speaks fluent Dutch and German and has a deep appreciation for American culture — her son now lives in New York, and her ex-husband is based in Charlotte, North Carolina. Karen’s career spans IBM, Ogilvy, RTL, and BBC World, giving her a rare perspective on leadership, reinvention, and what it takes to build a business from the ground up across cultures and continents.

Connect with Karen

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn at Karen Arndt and Facebook at What Would A Judge Say.  You can follow Karen on Instagram at What Would A Judge Say and on X at What Would A Judge Say.  To find out more about Karen’s work visit her website at What Would A Judge Say.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

Sometimes the hardest part of divorce is realizing you actually have choices. But that’s exactly where Rosemarie Ferrante begins. A seasoned family law attorney with more than 25 years of experience, Rosemarie shares how to divorce without court and how. mediation and Collaborative Divorce can transform your most painful transition into an opportunity for growth. Drawing from both her professional expertise and her own experience as a divorced mother of three, she reveals why even SHE wishes she'd done some things differently.

This discussion dives deeply into what mediation and Collaborative Divorce actually look like in practice, and they're not what most people assume. Rosemarie explains how couples can build custom teams of professionals (legal, financial, and emotional) tailored to their specific needs. Those teams enable a couple to navigate complex finances, address substance abuse issues, or learn how to have difficult conversations even if they haven’t communicated well in years.

If you or someone you know is in the beginning stages of divorce and you want to stay OUT of court, this podcast episode will help guide you to make the choices that will allow you to do exactly that.

About Rosemarie

Rosemarie Ferrante is a family attorney with over 25 years of experience, specializing in non-adversarial divorce through mediation and collaborative divorce. She believes families deserve compassionate, private processes for restructuring their lives, processes that honor relationships, reduce conflict, and protect children. Her goal is to guide families through divorce with compassion, providing the tools and resources they need for a healthier transition.

Rosemarie ensures that individuals have the emotional, financial, and legal support they need to move forward with confidence. She works with couples to create agreements that reflect fairness and respect, encouraging ongoing positive relationships between co-parents and their children. 

Connect with Rosemarie

You can connect with Rosemarie on LinkedIn at Rosemarie Ferrante and on Facebook at Divorce Mediation Center of Fairfield County, LLC.  And follow Rosemarie on YouTube at Divorce Media Center CT and on Instagram at Divorce Media Center CT.  To find out more about Rosemarie’s work visit the website Divorce Mediation CT.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

You've spent months negotiating who gets the house, only to discover that the mortgage you “thought” was assumable, isn’t. Now what? Stacey Ellison, a Certified Divorce Lending Professional with over 30 years in the mortgage industry, breaks down what really happens when one spouse wants to keep the house and assume the mortgage that’s currently in both names.

Not every mortgage is assumable, and even those that are assumable usually require lender approval to do so. In other words, if your mortgage company agrees to let you assume the mortgage, you can. If they don’t, you can’t … and there’s not much you can do about it if you get denied. 

What’s more, if you assume your existing mortgage, you have to find a different way to buy out your spouse’s equity. You can’t take a dime out of the equity in your home AND assume your current mortgage.

The good news is that keeping your low-interest rate mortgage isn't always the financial win it appears to be. The math around post-divorce tax filing changes can actually make refinancing at a higher interest rate more financially beneficial for you than keeping the mortgage you have. 

The bottom line is that mortgage assumptions are complicated. This podcast episode will help you cut through the fog so you can create a solid financial future.

About Stacey Ellison

Stacey Ellison is a Certified Divorce Lending Professional and Divorce Mortgage Planner with over 30 years of experience in the mortgage industry. Since 2020, she has used her specialized training to help individuals navigate the complex financial decisions surrounding a home during a divorce. Working with other divorce professionals, Stacey provides strategic guidance on home equity, mortgage qualification, and housing goals. Her goal is to help divorcing homeowners make sound financial choices that support their long-term stability.

Connect with Stacey

You can connect with Stacey on LinkedIn at Stacey Ellison and on Facebook at Stacey Ellison: Certified Divorce Lending Professional and follow her on Instagram at Divorce Mortgage Solutions.  To find out how to work with Stacey visit her website at Divorce Mortgage Solutions.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

When her eight-year-old girl defined her parents' divorce as "good," Sarah Armstrong, VP of Global Marketing Operations at Google, knew she was on to something important. After her marriage dissolved, Sarah was determined to put her daughter first. She and her husband did that so well that now Sarah teaches others how to protect their kids in divorce, too.

According to Sarah, the key to minimizing the damage to children in a divorce lies in parents developing a "compartmentalization muscle." (i.e. the ability to set aside your own triggers and emotional reactions for your child's sake.) 

In this podcast episode, Sarah shares powerful examples of taking the high road, from showing up together at parent-teacher conferences to the seemingly small but crucial decisions like ensuring kids don't feel like "professional travelers" shuttling belongings between homes.

Sarah offers crucial mindset tips as well as simple, concrete strategies for developing communication that actually works: when to text, when to email, when to call, and how to batch topics so co-parenting stays clear without becoming constant. If your co-parent won’t meet you in the middle, Sarah outlines how to control the controllables, stop feeding the conflict, and keep the focus on your child’s stability. 

If you or anyone you know is divorcing with children, this podcast episode will give you the mindset shift you need and the practical guidance you crave to really protect your kids in divorce.

About Sarah

Sarah Armstrong has spent more than 25 years in global marketing and is now VP of Global Marketing Operations at Google. She is widely acknowledged as an industry leader in her area of expertise. She is also the author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce, appearing on more than 75 podcasts and other media. She lives in San Francisco.

Connect with Sarah

You can connect with Sarah on LinkedIn at Sarah Madden Armstrong. To learn more about Sarah visit her website at The Juggling Act or  The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce.  You can reach out to Sarah at [email protected].

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

You don’t lose money in divorce because you’re bad at math. You lose it because you make huge financial decisions while you’re emotionally overwhelmed and financially uneducated. In this podcast episode, Leah Hadley, an accredited financial counselor, CDFA, and mediator, pulls back the curtain on the hidden health insurance traps and tax law changes scheduled to take effect in 2026 that may dramatically change your post-divorce financial future.

Leah explains how the tax and healthcare changes in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act may impact the amount you pay in taxes and, most significantly, in health insurance.

For example, experts are predicting that healthcare costs could increase by $1,000 or more per month in 2026 for those on marketplace insurance, making healthcare unaffordable for a significant percentage of the population. (… and that’s just ONE of the changes coming down the pike!)

On top of that, 2026 will bring tax law changes that, depending on your circumstances, can either make your financial future brighter or significantly more challenging.

Whether you’re just thinking about divorce or you’re already in the thick of it, understanding the changes that Leah explains in this podcast episode will be critical for your financial future.

About Leah

Leah Hadley is an Accredited Financial Counselor®, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, and Mediator who helps women navigate major life transitions with confidence and clarity. She’s the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions and Intentional Wealth Partners, where she blends financial expertise with empathy to empower clients to make values-aligned decisions about their money and their future. Through her Intentional Divorce Insights podcast and workshops, Leah inspires women to create financial and emotional stability after divorce and beyond.

Connect with Leah

You can connect with Leah on LinkedIn at Leah Hadley and Facebook at Intentional Divorce Solutions.  You can follow Leah on Instagram at Intentional Divorce Solutions, on YouTube at Intentional Divorce Insights and on her Podcast Intentional Divorce Insights.  To find out more about Leah’s work, visit her website at Watch Her Thrive.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

The sex stopped, the silence started, and now you're strangers sharing a bed. In this podcast episode, marriage, sex, and intimacy coach Irene Fehr unpacks why passion so often cools in long-term marriages - and how you can rekindle intimacy in your sexless marriage without pressure, blame, or performance anxiety. 

When Irene’s libido completely disappeared in her own marriage, she felt broken and alone. Her sexless marriage ultimately ended in divorce. Now Irene guides couples past the point where the passion in their relationship fades and helps them reconnect on every level, regardless of their age.

In this deep conversation, Irene reveals why so many couples slide into sexless marriages or roommate dynamics and the three most common mistakes couples make when trying to “fix” their disappearing sex lives. Irene also tackles taboo realities, including mismatched desire, attraction changes, affairs, open marriages, and whether broken connection can genuinely be rebuilt.

If you and your spouse have slipped into being just “roommates,” and you’re worried your marriage will either be eternally sexless, or end in divorce, listen to this podcast episode. Irene will show you how you can rekindle your passion (or rebuild it after an affair) so you can create the lasting intimacy you long for.

About Irene

Irene Fehr, MA, CPCC, SEP is a Marriage Sex & Intimacy Coach who helps heterosexual couples make love and sex work over the long term — including bringing passion back into a sexless relationship. Determined to dispel myths about why sex dies in a long-term relationship, her views have been featured globally in HuffPost, Cosmopolitan, Shape, Refinery29, ScaryMommy, EliteDaily, and Bustle. Through her coaching, she guides couples at different stages of the relationship via three core pathways — Rekindling Us (rediscovering passion at midlife), Rebuilding Us (transforming crisis into connection), and Creating Us (laying a strong foundation for lasting love and sexual intimacy for new couples) — always anchored in the principle of consciously and intentionally choosing “us.”

Connect with Irene

You can connect with Irene on LinkedIn at Irene Fehr and on Facebook at Ignited Woman.  You can follow Irene on Instagram at Ignited Woman and on her YouTube channel at Ignited Woman.  To find out how to work with Irene visit her website at Ignited Woman.

Links to articles mentioned in podcast

Why Your Partner Won’t Get Couples Counseling and How to Get Them On Board 

3 Warning Signs of Divorce and How to Address Them Before It's Too Late 

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

What if one decision could give you a 24% inflation‑adjusted raise to your retirement for life? Financial planner Eric Blake reveals the hidden complexities of Social Security that could cost you thousands—or help you maximize your retirement income if you know the rules. From understanding full retirement age to navigating spousal and survivor benefits, Eric breaks down the critical decisions that can make or break your financial security in retirement.

The discussion covers essential Social Security strategies, including when to start claiming benefits, how working affects your payments, and the tax planning opportunities available at age 70. Eric explains the crucial differences between spousal benefits and survivor benefits and why understanding these distinctions matters for your financial future – especially if you’re divorced.

Eric also clarifies the often-misunderstood rules around ex-spousal benefits, including the critical 10-year marriage requirement and how remarriage affects your eligibility to get Social Security benefits based on your ex’s status (… which you can claim without your ex-spouse's knowledge or consent!)

Whether you're approaching retirement, recently divorced, or widowed, understanding these Social Security rules could mean the difference between financial struggle and financial security.

About Eric

Eric Blake is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® professional and the founder of Blake Wealth Management, specializing in helping women 55+ navigate retirement with clarity and confidence. With more than 25 years of experience, Eric provides strategies to optimize investments, create reliable income, and minimize taxes. Inspired by his mother and grandmother’s financial journeys, Eric has a personal passion for empowering women to take control of their financial future

Connect with Eric

You can connect with Eric on LinkedIn at Eric Blake and on Facebook at Eric Blake. You can follow Eric on Instagram at Eric Blake, on YouTube at The Simply Retirement Podcast and on his podcast The Simply Retirement Podcast. To find out more about Eric’s work visit his website at Blake Wealth Management.

Free Resource

Grab Eric’s Top 6 Social Security Guides and Checklists for Women - 

Ultimate Guide to Women's Social Security Success.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.