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OKAY-ISH
OKAY-ISH episodes
- Let’s communicate about communication
This week is a big one as Maryellen celebrates her birthday! Be sure to send your best wishes over on Instagram! In the spirit of celebration, your host takes a moment to sincerely thank everyone who listens to and supports the show. We couldn’t do this without you!!
The episode today is all about communication, something most of us do all day, every day, in a bunch of different ways! Maryellen explores:
- Why do we communicate?
- Is making your point productive?
- How often are we communicating without listening?
- How often are we communicating the same thing in different ways?
- How often are we actually communicating about different things?
- How much of our communication is about the other person?
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
19 min - Wait, it’s September?! Back to school with Brianna Urquhart, RSW
The commercials are rolling, the panic is setting in, it’s that time of year again — back to school! If you’re like us and have no idea where the summer went, worry not, because registered social worker, Brianna Urquhart, is here to talk about how to keep ourselves okay-ish when the seasons are changing. The two chat:
- Common things people do in this change of season that don’t work
- How to get prepared and start off strong without setting yourself up for failure
- Realistic “self-care” strategies
- Debunking common fears about back to school
- The pressure of doing everything perfectly
- Anti-therapy therapy advice
- How rigidity is never going to benefit you
- Okay-ish moments in their lives
You can follow Brianna on social media @simply_socialwork and check out simplysocialwork.ca for links to her blog, YouTube, and how to work with her virtually across Ontario, Canada.
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow your host on Instagram @maryellendance. To submit questions or stories, send her a DM! Plus, be sure to check out maryellendance.com for more resources.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
38 min - People, please! Are you a people pleaser?
If you find yourself so focused on other people’s needs that yours aren’t a priority, this episode is for you! This week is a big one as we’re celebrating 2 years of OKAY-ISH! We are so excited for what’s in store, including some really awesome guests. Maryellen has been seeing ads all over social media lately to “learn how to stop being a people pleaser” which serves as the episode inspiration for the week! Maryellen chats:
- What is a people pleaser?
- At what point is it a bad thing?
- We are in charge of our own happiness
- Signs of being a people pleaser
- Boundaries — they’re meant to keep people in, not push them away
- No is not a dirty word & uncomfortable is not bad
- Loved ones don’t want us to be people pleasers
- Keeping our own needs a priority helps our relationships with others
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories, send us a DM!
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
23 min - You’re a grown up! Time to regulate your sh*t...
We’re going back to the basics again this week and chatting about self-regulation! Unfortunately, we can’t throw tantrums in the grocery store (I mean, you can, but...), so most of us have learned to self-regulate, or simply push things down — which is NOT what we want to do. So today, Maryellen gives everyone a refresher course on how to get up close and personal with our feelings and tried and true techniques to start exercising self-regulation. She dives into:
- What is self-regulation?
- Talked a lot about with little kids, not enough with adults
- Are we actually learning techniques or just learning to hide our true feelings?
- How do we actually self-regulate?
- How do we know when to do these self-regulating techniques?
- How do we know we are self-regulating in a way that’s productive?
- The first step to regulating ourselves is recognizing what's going on
- Start to learn how you respond to your feelings
- HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired; if you are too much of any of these, it’s going to be more of a trigger
- We have become so used to functioning when we haven’t had our basic needs met, but that is not a badge of honor
- When we have to bite our tongue in a moment, it’s important to remember to come back and address the feeling
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories, send us a DM!
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
24 min - Answering YOUR questions!
This week Maryellen is super excited to do an episode full of listener questions! Doing episodes like these helps her to discover what type of content you want to hear! Enjoy this rapid-fire episode covering topics like:
- How do you know if something is a chemical imbalance or something you can work through?
- What is the difference between being really sad and being depressed?
- How to encourage a friend to see a therapist
- When to stop overthinking and trust your gut
- How to know if I should see a counselor, therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist
- I think I’m in love with my best friend, what do I do?
- My best friend is marrying someone I can’t stand and I don’t know how to act
- Advice for parents/friends/partners of someone dealing with severe anxiety/depression
- I’m in love with my best friend’s fiancé, and I don’t know what to do
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com or send us a DM on Instagram!
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
22 min - Burnout: I’m therapissed!
This week Maryellen opens up about a topic close to home, burnout as a therapist. While you may not be a therapist, you may be able to relate in your own way, as burnout has become all too common in this always-on culture. She also introduces a new segment, Therapissed, all about things that rub her the wrong way as a therapist, especially when she’s burnt out! Maryellen discusses:
- “Leaving work at work” isn’t as easy as it sounds
- Burnout won’t go away if you ignore it
- Try to anticipate when you’ll need a mental health day; look out for yourself
- Vicarious trauma that comes with engaging empathetically with survivors of trauma
- We need to normalize and own our burnout
- Substituting yoga/gym for therapy? No!
- Frustration of being caught off guard and asked to provide advice
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
26 min - Therapy 101: back to the basics
This week Maryellen goes back to the basics, with therapy 101! There is so much misinformation out there that getting started can be overwhelming. We hope this episode is a useful resource that can give you some confidence in reaching out for help.
- Having a mental health diagnosis doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you
- There doesn’t have to be something “wrong with you” to go to therapy
- We can't diagnose ourselves
- Online therapy resources & platforms: proceed with caution
- Life coaches, empowerment coaches, and mental health coaches aren’t therapists
- What to talk about at your first session
- Therapists are not mind readers
- It's okay if you're not a match with your first therapist, don’t let that deter you
- Starting therapy or medication is not a life sentence
- Going to a therapist is not the best thing for emergencies
Psychiatric emergency line: 988
Lifeline if you’re feeling suicidal: 211
For help finding a therapist, visit psychologytoday.com, your primary care doctor, and contact your insurance company.
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
25 min - Is my relationship codependent?
We're begging you, please don’t self-diagnose from memes on the internet... Especially not codependency, because, heads up, codependency isn’t even a diagnosis!! This week Maryellen talks all about codependency and rewrites some “inspirational” quotes to reflect the truth:
- What do people mean when they say "codependent"?
- Codependency originated from alcoholics anonymous
- Popularized with romantic relationships, but can be in all types of relationships
- Unhealthy relationship dynamics don’t automatically make the relationship codependent
- Ask yourself: does the power dynamic in this relationship feel equal?
- The good news? We can change unhealthy relationship dynamics!
- If you're suffering from abuse in your life, please call for support
National Domestic Violence Hotline (open 24/7): 800-799-SAFE. Text START to 88788
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
23 min - Domestic Violence & Red Flags: It Ends with Us
TW: Domestic violence
This week Maryellen is joined by her sister-in-law to analyze the domestic violence portrayed in Colleen Hoover’s popular novel, It Ends with Us:
- Why they thought it was a good depiction of a violent relationship
- Trauma is not an excuse for abuse
- There should be more therapy talk in this book
- Correlation/schemas – the cycle of abuse
- Romanticizing abuse and toxic sex
- Red flags and green flags from the characters
- Manipulation vs. trying to do something nice
- Victim blaming
National Domestic Violence Hotline (open 24/7): 800-799-SAFE. Text START to 88788
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
41 min - Roe V. Wade: Keeping Ourselves Okay-Ish...
This week Maryellen talks all about the federal government’s ruling that abortion will now be decided by the states, and offers tips on keeping ourselves okay-ish throughout this scary time. This episode is all about:
- Validating your feelings
- The importance of not catastrophizing
- Trauma Triggers
- How to keep yourself “okay”
- Living in a gray world
- Being careful about how we talk about this
If you haven’t already, please follow, rate, and review the podcast, and follow us on Instagram @okayishpodcast. To submit questions or stories (anonymously if you’d like) visit okayishpodcast.com!
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
17 min
About OKAY-ISH
From the publisher's feed
Sometimes, we're not thriving and girl-bossing our way through life... we are just trying to make it through the day as best as we can. OKAY-ISH is all about getting honest when it comes…
to mental health, therapy, and the shit show we call life. Host and mental health counselor Maryellen Dance is on a mission, not to help you be perfect, but to get you feeling okay-ish. You're in for honest, raw, and emotional insights from a licensed specialist, as she covers topics ranging from co-dependancy and narcissism, to anxiety, sex, media, and more. Plus, she gets real about being a therapist, dating as a therapist, and "turning the therapist off" when it's time to unwind. Join us every Monday! You're not going to want to miss it... those cancellation fees are no joke.