Old Boys Book Club

It's hard to know how to feel in writing the following words. Not because there is a mixture of emotions (there isn't) but because it barely seems credible that this has actually ended.  Reading 72 Virgins felt like an act of interminable penance, forever pushing this agonising piece of work up a hill of dreadful literature, only to start afresh with each chapter. 

But we're here. This is the final chapter of the book. It can't go on any longer. There will be, at the end of this episode, literally no more pages to read. 

We will be hosting a final episode for this Book, wrapping up the (countless loose ends) and reviewing the work. Who knows, there might be party rings and weak orange squash? Or maybe it will be more of a wake vibe?

But that's all in a gleaming future. For now, enjoy this, the last chapter of 72 Virgins. You've earned it! 

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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created.

Oh man, is this still going? Yes! 

But fear not, Johnson's dross is approaching a swift end with this, the penultimate episode of reading.

This episode is very much a Pickel-fest,  so if you're a fan of sub-aquatic genocidal cuckolds, you've come to the right place. 

There is also a very small amount of plot development, as the author realises that he has spent 319 pages on exposition, but has an imminent print deadline to meet. Expect sloppy dialogue and non-sensical action.

Let's go! 

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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created.

Episode twenty bloody seven. 

27. 

It's here, and it's almost the end. You can feel it can't you, coming down the track like an inevitable freight train of jingoism and frayed narratives. You already know nothing will be concluded, all stones will be left unturned, and it will have all been for nought. 

But, you remember, this was an exercise of Anthropology! Have we better understood the old boy through this reading? What can we draw down from the musings of their leader? Much, surely?

Ponder these questions as we dive into episode 27.

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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created.

Yep. That's the title. 

We went with it. 

It's a direct quote, from the literary musings of Boris Johnson. 

That's something the UK Prime Minister wrote, that was published in a real book, by a real publisher (Harper Collins). 

Think about that.

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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created.

Let me dispel any confusion - there are no amphibians mentioned in this episode.

As the pace quickens, the plot thickens, and publishing deadlines loom, Boris Johnson (the author) is running out of steam. Expect increased plot holes, lazy xenophobia, and un-concluded story lines as we enter the final few chapters of 72 Virgins.

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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created. 

Episode 24! Where does it go eh? Certainly not into plot and character development.

As you've probably established by now, the setting is going nowhere. We're in and our course is set. We'll be in Westminster hall until the book ends. And this isn't even a spoiler, this is an inevitability. One that you have come to accept long ago, but only now are letting yourself truly come to terms with what that means. 

So, we have a few tens of pages left, we're in Westminster hall, the terrorists have the president, and Johnson is running pretty low on metaphors. 

Strap in!


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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created. 

Guess who's back... back again... Old Boys are back... tell a friend (refrain)

Of course, Podcasts being a potentially asynchronous media, there's a good chance that this caption won't make sense to you, but if you are a regular listener of the show, you'll have been waiting to read these words for weeks. 

In this week's episode more insanity prevails in Westminster Hall, as the terrorists grapple to maintain control of President, and Boris Johnson grapples to maintain control over his prose. 

In the real world of course Boris Johnson is now responsible for thousands of deaths, and an inevitable crash out of the EU with no deal. But in the world of the Old Boy, we're in Halcyon world of 2004, back when the only real concern was if the phone lines of TV channels could handle 3 billion simultaneous phone-ins. 

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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created. 

Imagine, if you will, a teenage boy, sitting alone in their room, in the early 90s. They haven't yet had their mind invaded by the nefarious onslaught of globalised and easily accessible pornography wrought by the internet, and have little imagination to play with. Picture then, this adolescent, sitting alone, fantasising about their perfect partner. 

It would be a discredit to the intellectual capacity of this fictional teen to assume they could do even half as poor a job as our current Prime Minister in surmising their ideal paramour. 

Spoiler Alert: Boris Johnson (PM)'s attempt is the title of this week's episode. 

Enjoy! 

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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created. 

21 - legal age to drink in the country of the kidnapped president, and the number of Podcast Episodes we have brought you. Coincidence? Yes. Worth noting? No.

This week is mostly based in Westminster Hall, with one unexpected diversion... to Westminster Hall. But which period? Lovers of pointless, word count filling tangents - this week is for you!

Oh, and there's a plan to get Pickel his gun.

Enjoy

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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created. 

It’s episode twenty! The big 2-0! And you know what that means? Plot-wise, nothing! Because we have arbitrarily sliced the book up into episode sized sections. But as an exercise in stamina, it’s quite something!

This week we are treated to a bit more back-and-forth courtesy of the terrorists exacting their (completely I’ll-conceived) plot, and we are served up Johnson’s take on insight into the terrorist psyche. Spoiler Alert: it’s thinking about sex.
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Join the Old Boys Book Club - a weekly reading group led by Jonny Lennard and Andrew Mole, Anthropologists by training, cynics by choice, determined to understand one of modern societies oldest (and most incongruous) tropes - the Old Boy.

We have reached peak 'Old Boy' with Johnson, Trump, Farage et al leading the world towards a leather-clad man cave of environmental catastrophe. 

But what exactly is an Old Boy?

In what will almost certainly be called the pinnacle of modern satire, but is as yet unreviewed, Jonny and Andy introduce the world to Old Boy after Old Boy in the best way they know: by decoding the literature they have willingly created.