Old Wives

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young man coming of age must be in want of a boat. When this week's Large Adult Son David Cotterson finally gets his wish and sets out to sea, a storm derails his adventure. Fortunately for David, a talking dog emerges from the waves and becomes the parent he never had. When the dog trains David to do backflips, will David prove a willing student? Or will the sea take them all? And will The Most Beautiful Woman in the World EVER appear? Join us this week in Denmark to find out.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

This week, we try to imagine a world without salt. Dishes are tasteless. Exfoliants are all but useless. When a cocky young merchant Ivan and his drunken crew breeze through port with a whole ship full of it, the Tzar will trade anything for that flaky mineral bounty. First Ivan gets the salt, then he gets the power, and then he gets the women—but it won't end there. This one's not over till the giant sings. Join us as we learn the price of salt, literally.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

This week, we're in Old Timey Romania to follow a pigeon into the wild unknown. Is the pigeon an insomniac hallucination? Or is it a soothsayer? Perhaps it is merely bird lost in the mountains? There's only one way to find out, and to do it, we're gonna have to work together. Join us for a surprisingly soothing tale where the only threat is solitude, the only weapon is trust, and the greatest glory is the friends we made along the way.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

WE ARE BACK. This week, we're in Armenia, where we'll meet a second-born son with such Big King Energy that he's the one handing out magical items to the fairies. When a particularly comely antelope crosses his path, he can't help but follow her. She'll lead him to battle against the weirdest witch, a poisoned buffet, and a pitcher full of snakes. Will the enchanted hunting grounds absorb him? Will the witch outsmart him? And most importantly, will he get to marry his One True Ruminant? Join us to find out.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today we travel to Afghanistan to meet Olad, a lovable scamp trying to follow his dreams (literally). When the king's daughter mistakes him for her paramour, things take a turn. But after a bout of hardship, Olad lands himself in a utopian polyamorous fever dream. Can it hold? Or will the king's jealousy interrupt the party? Tune in to find out what's on the other side of paradise.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today on Old Wives, we're trapped in a castle of our own minds. One dumb kid's first internship goes south fast, and a slow striptease toward destiny is his only hope for survival. We discover doors behind other doors, piles of worthless gold, and a bridegroom who gets left at the altar for once. Join us, as together we ride our horses into The Sea.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today, we discuss a skeptical prince, a primitive tinder profile, and a magic floor tile that does background checks as we head to Norway to meet Aase the Goose Girl. Why geese? What does Aase really want, anyway? Is the whole story a zen meditation on the duality of ruling class values?* Join us to find out!

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

*No.

To Spain, and to Doña Pepa, a woman so singularly mysterious and intimidating that the whole town won't stop talking about her. We discuss a looming horror slowly infiltrating our minds and homes and overtaking our attention to the point where we both wonder whether we're going mad simply from worry about it while we try in vain to go on with our lives. Join us for the utterly bizarre tale of The Serpent-Woman.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Join us in Ireland, where Casey recounts The Earl's Son from the Sea, a harrowing tale of stalking and familial curses. A lonely girl hears a harp by the sea, but the dude at its source seems sketchy. When she refuses his advances, she dooms herself to a lifetime ban on sea travel. Will she ever make it to America, or will she become a sea wife after all? Does shouting I'M AN EARL'S SON ever work on the ladies, anyway? We explore this and more—join us!

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

This week we're in Czechoslovakia, where Amy introduces us to Katcha, a woman just trying to have it all. She works hard, has her own money, enjoys an active social life. When she tries to meet a man at the local dance hole, shenanigans ensue. Consider this director's cut of a The Bad Wife. Join us for Katcha and the Devil: The Story of a Clinging Vine.

For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.