On the Irregular with Java Bere

For the final episode of season 4 I talk with undertaker and owner of the independent funeral service Natural Endings, Rosie Grant.

After listening to several episodes of this season, Rosie reached out to me to suggest talking with me about her creative, personal, and as she described it ‘radical’, approach to honouring the lives of those we love.

I have admired Rosie and her fellow undertaker Lisa’s work from afar, via social media, so this felt like a true honour to be invited over for a chat, and the perfect way to end this season on creativity and grief.

One grey July morning, Jon and I drove over to visit Rosie and Lisa in the old sorting office in the West Yorkshire town of Todmorden.

Rosie has thoughtfully transformed the beautiful and characterful old buildings into a mortuary alongside a light and airy space for hosting ceremonies.

Our conversation with Rosie was both moving and insightful. And because Jon was present to help out with recording, and I knew he would have questions and thoughts, I invited him to chime in if he felt compelled to.

Which he did (although slightly muffled as he wasn’t mic’d up).

what came out of this was an incredibly open and vulnerable conversation about grief, honouring the lives of others and developing our own personal rituals.

I cannot wait for you to hear Rosie’s fascinating story, about how she first found her calling as an undertaker in the mid 90’s, through organising her own mother’s funeral, 

How she navigated the very traditional world of funeral directors, her stint as a cabaret performer, her training as a psychotherapist and then her return to her ultimate purpose as a funeral director.

This conversation has stayed with me on a profound level, and the topics we discussed have ignited many important conversations with my own friends and family.

Thank you Rosie and Lisa for inviting us into the beautiful space you have created and for demystifying the process of death, ritual and grieving. We feel truly honoured.

A gentle warning, this episode contains some swearing, mentions of infant death and some references which may be upsetting.

Welcome to the season finale of On the Irregular: On Creativity and Grief with Rosie Grant.

You can find Rosie online at naturalendings.co.uk and on instagram @naturalendings or please head to the show notes for links.

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Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I talk with writer, poet and playwright, Cordelia O’Neill.

We discuss Cordelia’s play ‘Anything is Possible if You Think About it Hard Enough’ about a young couple whose baby is born still. We discuss creativity as a tool for developing empathy and how experiencing loss can bring you closer to joy, love and hope.

And we talk about the twist of fate where Cordelia’s life imitated her art.

This episode includes swearing and an in depth and detailed conversation about our personal experiences of late stage termination for medical reasons, so please be aware before listening.

Welcome to my chat with the tender and ever so lovely Cordelia.

You can find Cordelia online on X @cordeliaoneill3 or at www.smallthingstheatre.com

If you or someone you know has experienced or is experiencing baby loss through late stage termination, you can find support at ARC (antenatal results and choices) www.arc-uk.org

Post production and jungle composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I talk with Yorkshire artist, Jess Kidd.

We discuss Jess’ childhood as an acutely shy child who often lived in her own imaginary world, the comfort she found in creativity as a form of expressing herself, the challenges she experienced at art school and then being diagnosed with health issues that impacted her life dramatically.

We also talk about cognitive behavioural therapy and the place it has in her creative process, her multi disciplinary practice and the solace she finds in nature..

Welcome to my chat with the ever so gentle, and ever so thoughtful Jess Kidd.

A gentle warning, this episode contains swearing

You can find Jess online at https://www.jesskiddart.co.uk and on instagram @jesskiddart 

Jess would like to share the following resource which she has found useful:

https://letstalkaboutloss.org/     @talkaboutloss



Post production and jingle composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I talk to photographer Jo Ritchie and writer Laura Mcdonagh.

We talk about their work on Projecting Grief, a collection of stories and portraits from individuals who have found comfort, distraction or hope in a creative pursuit after losing someone they love.

We also talk about how they came together creatively, their own experiences of grief and how it has changed them in defining ways, the power in sharing your own story of grief and the things we gain through loss.

Welcome to my conversation with the utterly wonderful Laura and Jo.

A warning, this conversation contains swearing and the odd bit of background drilling from the workmen next door.

You can find Projecting Grief online at projectinggrief.com and on Instagram @projecting_grief 

Post production and jingle composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I talk with writer and disabled content creator, Helen Lear.

Helen and I met at drama school in Manchester, sixteen years ago. Since then, a lot has happened.

In her twenties, Helen dropped her life in the Uk to travel through Australia and New Zealand, envisioning a life of further international travel ahead of her.

During this time she began to experience serious health issues that were impacting her day to day life, which led her to the difficult decision of moving back to the UK.

Then, Age 27, and eight months into a new relationship, Helen suddenly lost her vision and became paralysed from the neck down, both overnight. Helen then had to go through the process of regaining her sight and learning how to walk again.

We talk about adjusting to her newly medicalised life at the time, having to give up a job she loved, and all the other versions of herself that she often thinks about, had none of this happened,

We talk about how using a wheelchair has opened up the possibility of travel for her again and how meeting new people and visiting new places soothes her feeling of unsettledness.

Welcome to my conversation with my lovely friend, Hele Lear.

A gentle warning, this episode contains swearing.

You can find Helen online at https://www.wheelybraw.scot and on Instagram @wheelybraw or you can head ot the shownotes for links.

Post production and jingle composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I talk with autoethnographic artist Hannah Turlington.

We talk about growing up as a people pleaser,

training as a teacher despite wanting to study textiles,

eventually becoming a textile designer and realising it was no longer what she wanted,

grieving the person that she thought she would one day be,

Coming to terms with not being able to bear children and her experience of the adoption process.

We also talk about her work with a creative mentor and later, Hannah was kind enough to share some of her pieces of writing with me.

Welcome to my conversation with the no longer people pleasing Hannah Turlington

A gentle warning, this episode contains swearing.

You can find Hannah online at hannahturlington.co.uk and on instagram @hannahturlingtonart


Post production and jingle composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I am talking to calligrapher, bookbinder and writer Gaelle Jolly.

Gaelle and I have followed each other on Instagram for many years, and it was a joy to finally meet over zoom.

In this chat we talk about our shared love of writing letters, Gaelle’s passion for getting lost in imaginary worlds, we talk about losing her husband and how instagram helped her process her grief

We discuss the dangers of placing all our self worth into our creative process, and how fruit is only exciting when it is wrapped in pastry.

Welcome to my chat with the delightful Gaelle Jolly.

This episode contains swearing and conversations on death. It also contains some background hammering noises from the workmen next door.

You can find Gaelle on Instagram @inkysquare and her website here

Some notes from Gaelle on resources for anyone seeking support related to the topics we touched on:

'Sobell House Hospice (https://sobellhouse.org/). They’re local to Oxford though so I guess not so relevant to most people, but they provided the best care to my husband in the last 5 weeks of his life, and supported me for two years afterwards with free bereavement support.

Another important resource for me was everything written and produced by Nora McInerny (https://noraborealis.com/). I think of her as my widowhood guru (because we all need one of those 🤣) but she is brilliant on all flavours of grief.'



Post production and jungle composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I am talking to gardener and allotmenteer, Heidi-Lee Gregory.

In 2020, having experienced a sequence of losses and readjustments in her life, Heidi turned her back on twenty years in the corporate world and decided to start from scratch and completely change direction with her path.

We talk about Heidi’s move from her native South Africa to the UK, losing her father at a young age, then the process of losing her beloved grandparents, the realisation that she did not want to have children, despite always expecting to be a mother, and how her work in helping people design their dream garden fulfills her creative desires.

Welcome to my conversation with the extremely lovely Heidi.

You can find Heidi on instagram @heidilee.gregory and online at heidileegregory.co.uk.

If you are interested in reading more on the subjects we touched upon, Heidi reccommends the following:

1. Ruby Warrington - Champion for women without kids. She is on instagram and has a book and a podcast on the subject.

https://www.instagram.com/rubywarrington/

Book: https://www.rubywarrington.com/books/women-without-kids/

2. Selina Barker - Coach for career change, designing a life you love and champion of rest and not burning out! She is on Instagram for both her coaching and club you (her membership program and hello goodbye journals)

https://selinabarker.com

https://www.instagram.com/selinathecoach/

https://www.instagram.com/projectyouprojectyou/

Post production and jungle composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I talk with Susanna Amato, who describes herself as: actress, theatre maker, writer, clown and humanitarian.

Susanna also has a podcast where she invites guests to bring a paper based memory to talk through and shred, based on her theatre piece Landfill of Memories.

We discuss Susanna’s identity, how this forms a huge part of her creative process, she tells me about losing her father and sister, holding onto the memory of loved ones through objects and how much she loves both therapy and mortadella in equal measures. 

Welcome to my conversation with Susanna Amato, an episode where I rarely stop cackling.

A gentle warning, This episode contains swearing and mentions of death and sex.

You can find Susanna on instagram @landfillofmems or via her website, www.susannaamato.com.

If you or anyone you know has been affected by hoarding or clutter in the home and would like some support, please go to hoardinguk.org

If you are in need of support and someone to talk to please contact The Samaritans.



Post Production and Jingle Composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I am talking with author, art historian and lecturer Joanna Wolfarth.

Joanna was the first person I interviewed for this season. I was feeling nervous and out of practice, but Joanna’s gentle warmth and grace shone through my headphones and I immediately knew that this was exactly where I wanted to be. Sat, listening to her story.

In our chat, we discussed Jo’s shifting approaches to writing throughout her life, we talk about her book ‘Milk: An intimate History of humanity’s first food’, how motherhood and losing a close relative to suicide have impacted her life and work, about the ‘destruction and the construction’ of the self as a consequence and allowing herself to be more vulnerable.

Welcome to my conversation with the extremely lovely a Jo.

A gentle warning, This episode contains swearing and mentions of suicide and baby loss.

You can find Joanna on Instagram and on X @joannawolfarth. ‘Milk, an intimate history of humanity's first food’, is available from all good bookshops. You can also find the links in the show notes.

If you or someone you know has been affected by or is having thoughts of suicide, help is available. The number for the samaritans is 116 123. You can also get in touch with  CALM (camapign against living miserably) www.thecalmzone.net and Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide www.uksobs.org 

Post Production and jingle composition: Jon Tipler

Support the show

Get full access to A Kitchen Notebook at javacbere.substack.com/subscribe